


Can you fake it? (I lost my way in your city lights)

by DoctorFatCat



Series: Main stories [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blowjobs, Christmas, Dirty Talk, Endgame Showki, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Hyunwoo works at a Book Store, Hyunwoo's first time with a guy, Kihyun owns a Coffee Shop, M/M, Pussy kink, Showki, Showki are awkward No Mercy style in the beginning, Smut, Vanilla, Wall Sex, also it starts off platonic, but not hardcore bc they soft, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 119,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorFatCat/pseuds/DoctorFatCat
Summary: Kihyun and his roommate Hyunwoo are not, in any way, close. Which turns out to be a great thing when he needs a fake boyfriend to introduce to his family over Christmas.Also, Minhyuk thinks it’s a stupid idea.(12 chapters - 13 is a bonus)





	1. Be Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> Hi  
> So guess what  
> I love showki a lot, and Monsta X is not even my ultimate group, BUT, I love them to death, and sometimes I have this urge to read a nice long chaptered story with main couple showki but I can't find them. That might also be because I'm too picky sometimes. Ignore me.  
> So, not to say this is going to be the best story you've ever read, but at least it's something.  
> I have laid it out and there are going to be 11 chapters. The first is only a little over 3k, but I'm hoping to write more than that as the chapters go on.  
> I hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

> A small secret in the world  
>  Surrounded by small sounds  
>  Deeply falling into this feeling  
>  Can’t figure out where it ends  
>  Don’t stop
> 
> Be quiet

 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Kihyun mutters as he tries to cut into the crowd to get to the carriage. The subway is specially full today, which always seems to happen whenever he’s in a rush. Of course a rational part of his brain knows that’s because it’s _always like that_ , but he feels satisfied with the idea the world is always against him. Makes him feel like it’s never his fault.

Today, specially, things are not going his way.

About a week ago he had told his friend Minhyuk he was thinking of getting a roommate. The place he’d found had two bedrooms, and since his friend Hoseok wasn’t going to come live in Seoul anymore, he needed someone else to share the place with, or else he’d have to move. Minhyuk then proceeded to tell their employee Changkyun, who told his friend Jooheon, and that kept going until, unexpectedly, a random man called Hyunwoo had his number and name, and was calling him about it.

They had arranged a ‘meeting’ - which was just a fancy word for Hyunwoo coming over to discuss if any of them had any weird enough habits that would make the other too uncomfortable to live together - at his place. It’d be easier if the other man could also see the place beforehand, and quicker if they didn’t have to meet twice.

But everything and everyone in Kihyun’s life decided they needed his attention for a bit longer today, because it was already fifteen minutes past the time he should be receiving Hyunwoo at his place, and he still had to catch the subway, and that’d take him more twenty minutes to get to the apartment. Fifteen if he convinced his cab driver to break some laws.

He got inside the carriage panting, hand wrapping around a metal pole since there was nowhere to sit. He wished he’d brought his phone charger, then his phone wouldn’t be dead and he would be able to call Hyunwoo to warn him he was going to be late.

The train took off and the brunette’s hands were fidgeting as he tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t control the train. This was the part of the run he’d have to wait on patiently, so he looked around and read the signs, the map that showed the stations, and the banners.

The train stopped subtly at one of the stations, and he had to hold on tightly to the pole not to fall. These were the moments Kihyun hated his bad balance the most. As people rushed in and out, he tried not to start freaking out again. At this point, he was already squished between a middle aged woman and a tall muscly guy.

Thankfully, as stations passed, more people got out than in. He still didn’t have a place to sit, but at least he wasn’t at risk of turning into a human crepe. Then the train made another stop, and the short man was taken by surprise, and lost his balance completely, falling almost face first into the tall muscled guy’s chest. He was fast enough to stretch out his hand, though, so now he was groping a random dude, and was probably going to get his ass beaten.

“Sorry!” He hurriedly apologized, standing straight once again and bowing before looking up to meet the other’s face. He looked stoic, like showing an emotion would crack his face, even if it looked squishy and full.

Then he crumpled all of the shorter’s thoughts by showing a small smile. “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” He said, then grabbed Kihyun’s shoulder again a second before the train took off, almost throwing the brunette to the floor if it hadn’t been for the taller’s hand. “Be careful though. You could really hurt yourself or someone else if you don’t hold on tight.” Then he drops his hand and lets it fall to the side.

Kihyun nods quickly, then wonders if he should say something else, but the other is already looking away, down at his watch. Oh, right, he was in a hurry.

His station came two stops after that one, and he flew out of the carriage so fast he barely had time to process if the tall guy had already left or had stayed inside.

He stopped outside by the sideway, looking for a cab, but as destiny has it’s beautiful ways, he couldn’t find any that was available. He was starting to think seriously about falling to his knees and praying when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, startled, to find the man from before.

“Are you in a hurry?” He asked, to which the younger nodded, despite being confused. “Are you heading north too?” Another nod. “Come along. We can share a cab.”

“Oh!” The brunette perked up at that, and smiled. “Thank you so much!” He said as he followed the older hurriedly. They got inside the car and the driver took off as soon as they had closed the doors. Kihyun was panting again from the stress. He really needed to start doing some cardio.

He looked towards the taller male, and finally had some time to take in his appearance. That’s when he realized how _handsome_ the man was.

For starters, his face was a contrast with his body. His jawline was strong, but not that sharp, due to the slight chubbiness of his face. His eyes were small, but his strong eyebrows made him look somewhat mysterious, to which his dark hair helped as it fell over his forehead. His nose had a tall bridge and his lips were full. He was a shade darker than Kihyun, probably, and he was wearing a thick black jacket with blue jeans and black timberlands.

“Where are you heading?” The man asked, pulling the brunette out of his daze.

Kihyun tells him the address, then goes to ask what time is it when the guy’s surprised face stops him.

“I’m sorry. Are you by chance Yoo Kihyun?” He questions.

The shorter raises an eyebrow and shifts away from the other awkwardly. “Why?” He asks slowly. “You’re not a stalker, are you?”

Judging by the man’s confused face, he’s probably not. And might have sounded paranoid, but you can never be too careful. “No. But I’m heading to the same address you are.” He explains. “I’m Son Hyunwoo.”

Kihyun takes two whole seconds to process what the other said, then lets out a loud “Oh!”, which has the driver chuckling to himself. His jaw hangs open and he raises a hand with a pointed finger to the older. “Hyunwoo-ssi! Oh my god!” His shock lasts five seconds. “Wait, you’re late!” He accuses. “What’s your excuse?”

At that, Hyunwoo raises an eyebrow. “You’re late too.” He points out. Kihyun drops his hand, beaten. He _is,_ isn’t he? “I lost the first train. Left work too late.”

Kihyun nods. “That’s okay. I got caught up at work too, to be honest. It’s my partner’s fault, actually.” He sighs.

“You have a partner? I thought you lived alone?” Hyunwoo frowns.

“Not a relationship partner. It’s a business partner. I mean, he’s also my best friend. We own a coffee shop-slash-karaoke place. His name is Minhyuk.”

“He sounds nice.” Hyunwoo comments politely.

Kihyun chuckles. “He really isn’t.” He smiles to himself. “But he’s my best friend, so what can I do?”

The taller smiles a little forcedly, which doesn’t pass unnoticed by the brunette. Kihyun notices, also, how awkward they seem to be around each other. This is gonna be a great car ride. If this is what they’re like around each other then how is it gonna be when they’re living together?

“Where do you work?” He tries asking.

Hyunwoo looks at him surprised. Like he wasn’t expecting Kihyun to talk to him. He honestly wasn’t.

“I work at a bookstore. Which is also kind of a library?” He grimaces a bit at his explanation, but relaxes when Kihyun laughs softly.

“So we both work at hybrid places.” He jokes. “What a coincidence.”

“That means that maybe we’re meant to be.” Hyunwoo jokes, laughing in a way that makes his eyes disappear.

Kihyun laughs rather awkwardly. He hopes Hyunwoo doesn’t notice. He’s talking about the fact that they’re maybe going to live together, but Kihyun can’t help the ridiculous thoughts that overtake his mind. An attractive man is telling him they’re meant to be and then shooting him the cutest smile known to men? Sue him. He’s almost sure he’s blushing.

When they finally arrive at his place, hell breaks loose.

It’s not that dramatic, but they do have a little argument.

“I should pay because I live here.”

“When were you born?”

“‘93.”

“Well then I should pay because I’m older.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“It is not!”

“Let’s just split.” Kihyun suggests.

“...That’s not a bad idea.” Hyunwoo acknowledges. They both take out half of the quantity and hand it to the driver, who takes it with a smile and drives away.

“So.” The younger starts, fidgeting. “Follow me, please.” He motions with a hand as he opens the gate to the building with his keys. They enter the place and take the lift. The silence is once again awkward, and the younger is cursing whoever thought it would be a good idea to hand out his number to this big ass man who seemed to be constantly uncomfortable with his surroundings.

He’s starting to think it might have been Minhyuk, just out of spite.

They get into the apartment, and Hyunwoo glances around as he takes off his shoes, before saying, “Wow.”

Kihyun turns around in surprise. “What? What’s wrong?” He tries to find whatever had the inexpressive man taken aback.

“No! Nothing’s wrong.” The taller man is quick to explain. “The place is just a lot cleaner than I expected.”

The younger raises an eyebrow.

“Not that you look messy.” Hyunwoo could actually be sweating out of nervousness right now. Kihyun tries to suppress his laugh. “Guys our age that live by themselves are usually messier? I mean, not that I am, thought I’m not as clean as you are. I-”

“It’s okay, Hyunwoo-ssi.” Kihyun stops him. “I get it.” He finally lets himself laugh. The older visibly calms down, smiling along. “I like cleaning, actually. I stress clean a lot too. And cook. It’s something I got from my dad, I’d say.” He shrugs. “Anyway, would you like some tea?”

“Sure.”

They head to the kitchen, and Kihyun tells the older to sit before he starts preparing tea.

About two weeks later, Hyunwoo is sleeping in the room next to Kihyun’s.

They get along fairly well. You can’t say they’re friends, exactly. At least not for the first month. They’re more than awkward enough to try and avoid each other for some time. Minhyuk won’t stop teasing Kihyun about it.

Then the cockroach incident happens.

Now, Kihyun had never told Hyunwoo about his despise of bugs of all kinds. Not that he needed to, anyways, since it was kind of obvious. Kihyun would have the most dramatic reactions to them. He’d flinch, gasp, jump, anything, whenever he saw an insect. Hyunwoo had noticed. The whole world had probably noticed.

Doesn’t mean he’s not surprised when he hears a shout coming from the younger’s room. Hyunwoo frowns and wonders if he’s hearing things that are not actually happening. Then Kihyun screams again, and he gets up from the bed quickly, concern washing over him.

“Kihyun?” He calls, knocking on the door. “You okay in there?” The answer he gets is a mumbled answer before another shout. Hyunwoo opens the door to find out that the source of the screaming is under a duvet. “Kihyun?” He calls once again.

The bundle moves. “Hyunwoo!” It shouts, sounding slightly muffled. “On the wall!” He says, pulling his head out of the duvet to look at him, then at the wall.

The older turns to look at said wall, and finds a cockroach chilling there. He frowns.

“Are you afraid of-”

He gets his answer when the thing moves minimally and the younger shouts once again, pulling the duvet over his head.

_Okay._

“Don’t we have a insect killing spray thingy somewhere?” The older questions. “I’m gonna go get it, just a second.” He moves to walk out, but Kihyun stops him.

“No! Hyung, no!” Huh. That’s probably the first time the younger ever called him hyung. “Don’t leave me alone, please! That disgusting thing is gonna fly over here and get under my duvet and I’m gonna die!” The older hopes he’s got it wrong, but Kihyun sounds like he could start crying at any given moment.

Hyunwoo sighs, and weighs his options. He walks over to the duvet-covered-guy and wraps his arms around him, carrying him out of the room over his shoulder. Kihyun yelps, but says nothing. Hyunwoo can’t see his face, which he deduces is a good thing. He throws the younger unceremoniously on his own bed.

“Stay there.” He tells him. Kihyun finds his way out of the duvet and his head pops out, nodding. Hyunwoo closes the door.

The younger is sitting there, on his roommate’s bed. He barely enters the older’s room on a normal day. Sitting on his bed is something he has never done. Yet, here he is, duvet around his head and body as he stares at the door as if the roach could enter the room holding a bazooka at any moment.

He knows it can’t, but you can’t ever be too careful.

He hears the faint sounds of Hyunwoo’s steps. Hears him walking into his room and after some silence, hears a spraying sound, followed by a yelp. Then, once again, silence.

What if he’s dead?

His speculations are shot down when the older opens the door to the room. Kihyun’s eyes widen and he looks at him expectantly.

“You okay?” Hyunwoo asks, chuckling. His roommate has never looked like a kid as much as he does now.

Frankly, they’re not close, and sometimes both of them even wonder if living together was a good idea, but right now, they feel at ease.

“Is it dead?” The brunette asks, voice small and tentative.

The older nods. Kihyun sighs and his shoulders relax.

“Thank you, hyung.” He says, stepping out of the bed, duvet around his shoulders. “What was the sound you made, though?”

Hyunwoo blushes. “When I sprayed it, it jumped and almost landed on me. I got surprised.” He tells him. “I’m still gonna throw it away, so if you don’t wanna see it you should stay inside.”

Kihyun shakes his head. “Nah. I’m fine, if it’s dead I can do it myself.” He smiles. “Thanks again, hyung.” He says, and walks out of the room.

Maybe it’s kind of ridiculous, but after that, they get close.

Kihyun likes cooking, Hyunwoo likes eating. Kihyun likes silence, and Hyunwoo is quiet. When he’s not accidentally breaking something.

Sometimes they still have those awkward silences. And that’s normal, because they’re both very awkward people, and even though they’re something like friends now, they’re still not very close. Once or twice Kihyun visits the bookstore the older works in. Because he’s around and because he was honestly interest in buying a book. More often than that, Hyunwoo hangs out in the coffee shop. Because Kihyun owns the place, and because his business partner and best friend is also his own friend now. And Changkyun, their employee, has taken a liking on him and likes biting his arms, until Kihyun starts nagging and telling him to stop.

If Hoseok had decided to move back to Seoul, it would’ve been a lot different. He was one of the younger’s best friends too, and living with him would probably have been more comfortable from the beginning. But living with Hyunwoo isn’t bad. They agree on things he and Hoseok would fight about, they can sit next to each other in silence in situtations where Hoseok wouldn’t shut up. They can argue about stuff and be okay after it. Hoseok would always stay mad for some days until he calmed down.

Kihyun can call Hyunwoo an ass and boss him around when the older is disturbing him, and Hyunwoo can tease the younger about stuff and tell him if something he’s done is bothering him.

And Kihyun can still worry about Hyunwoo when there’s an accident on the part of the city the older works at and he won’t pick up his phone. And even though they’re not the closest of friends, Hyunwoo still hugged him back at 2 am when he finally got home and Kihyun cried in relief. He had also got scolded after it, though, for not calling to tell he was stuck in traffic and not dead.

There’s also the day when Hyunwoo walks in to Minhyuk and Kihyun dancing to Red Velvet while Changkyun and Jooheon watch from the sofa.

“What?” Hyunwoo asks as he closes the door behind him. The boys on the couch turn to look at him, but the older ones that are dancing in front of the TV barely say something back to acknowledge his arrival.

“Hyung! Can you dance?” Changkyun asks him, head on the armrest and legs thrown over Jooheon’s.

Hyunwoo nods. “Hell yeah I can dance.”

At that, Minhyuk actually stops, and Kihyun gapes. “You can dance?” The blonde asks. “You? The inexpressive robot? The muscle pig?”

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah I can dance.” He says.

Jooheon promptly stands up, earning an indignant noise from Changkyun, and and pushes Minhyuk away. “Then you’re up! We’re dancing together.”

“If he’s that good then he should go against Changkyunnie. He’s the expert in girl group dances here.” Kihyun comments as he sits on Jooheon’s previous place on the couch and lets Changkyun throw his legs over him.

“That would be merciless. Let him go against Joohoney first.” Minhyuk bids in.

Jooheon puts Russian Roulette to play.

And loses miserably.

Then, when Hyunwoo dances Mamamoo’s Yes I Am against Changkyun, he’s the one to lose.

He doesn’t care, though, because not even a minute later he’s losing his shit to Changkyun and Minhyuk dancing to Sistar’s Touch Your Body. Until they all join in, that is.

It’s awkward sometimes, yeah, but it’s not always like that.

Kihyun hopes he can remind the older of that when, three months into living together, he needs to ask him what is probably the most embarrassing favour he has ever had to ask someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments! Not trying to sound demanding but knowing I'm not doing a shit job motivates me to write the next chapter faster.  
> This fic has a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/ficsbywho/playlist/6FWoesTQUjUFlIwGvYb5VS) btw. It's not a soundtrack or anything, just songs that remind me of the plot.  
> Also if you think my user is familiar and don't know why it might be because I'm the person who is writing the "[Lost guy somewhere](http://archiveofourown.org/series/726300)" series, which you should definetely check out :D  
> Yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) if needed!  
> Also, can any of you guess where the title is from?


	2. Rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long lmao  
> I had exams at college last week and work was a mess so I had no time to write  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy it!  
> I'm gonna explain their family location and stuff like that in future chapters, so don't worry c:

 

 

> Erase the clock hands between us  
>  Come to me, quickly,  
>  make all the other guys jealous of me  
>  You’ll have no time to be bored  
>  Come to me, quickly, like it suddenly rained

 

What is even a good way to ask someone if they can pretend to date you? Because Kihyun very much doesn’t know how to do that. And honestly, asking Minhyuk for help had been a stupid idea. The blond kept saying the whole thing was a bad idea and that Kihyun should just tell the truth.

Of course he can’t do _that._

The thing is, after taking some time and finally accepting her son’s sexuality, Kihyun’s mom kept asking him why she never met any of his boyfriends, and soon started to set him up with random guys. Of course, Kihyun loves his mom to death and appreciates her effort. After all, she wants him to be happy. But her taste in young gay men to date her son turned out to be even worse than Kihyun’s own, which always means awkward dates whenever he goes back home.

And that obviously means he needs a fake boyfriend. Obviously. Unless he gets a real one in less than two weeks. And he won't. Only that’s not realistic, and won’t happen. So yeah, he needs a fake one. And it has to be Hyunwoo. The man is the only one of his friends - or something like that - that his mother has not yet come to meet and the fact they are not very close will contribute to things not getting weird between the two of them. Kihyun is counting on that last bit.

He decides it wouldn’t be too weird if he showed up at the coffee shop. He’s done that once or twice, right? Hyunwoo certainly wouldn’t think it’s weird. Kihyun would just hang out there for a bit and the older would realize how nice of a roommate he is for checking up and will be happy to help and pretend to be his boyfriend. Who wouldn’t like to hang out with Kihyun anyways? His company is lovely.

“That’s stupid.” Minhyuk says as he takes a tray of used paper cups towards the trashcan. “You know that’s a fucking stupid idea, Kihyun.”

“You keep saying that, but why? Why is it such a bad idea?” The shorter shoots back, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter.

“Where do I even start?” The blond sighs. “Good afternoon, how can I help you?” He asks to a customer who walks up to the counter.

Kihyun rolls his eyes at his friend and turns to Changkyun, who’s cleaning the coffee machine.

“Changkyunie, do you think my idea is bad?” He asks.

The younger boy turns to him like he wasn’t expecting to be pulled into the conversation and turns back to the machine as he opens his mouth, closes, then opens it again. “I don’t think it’s the _best_ idea, hyung. But I mean, I’ve heard worse?” He says before “I think.”

“Wow thanks. Next time at least lie. I’m your boss.” Kihyun complains, throwing the cloth that was on the counter on the younger. Changkyun makes a noise of complaint at the dirty fabric that lands on his arm.

“You’re too soft to be threatening.” Minhyuk tells the other when the customer walks away to sit at a table. “A chocolate frap for Myungho.” He tells Changkyun, then turns back to Kihyun. “It’s not a good idea. I mean it. What if things get weird between the both of you? What if you fall in love with him? What if _he_ falls for _you?_ What are you gonna do then, huh?”

“Calm down, Satan.” Kihyun raises his hands in surrender. He takes the cup from Changkyun and calls out Myungho’s name without tearing his eyes from Minhyuk. When the customer comes the brunette smiles at her and wishes her a good drink, then turns back to his friend when she walks away. “First of all, Hyunwoo is straight. Maybe he doesn’t even know I like guys.” Changkyun scoffs next to him, but Kihyun ignores him. “And we’re not close enough to _fall._ That’s why it’s a great idea.” Kihyun turns to walk into the kitchen. “You’re watching too many dramas.”

“I’ll have you know Descendants of The Sun is too worthy for me to compare it to your cramped relationship with your roommate. You two are too bland.”

Kihyun walks back out of the kitchen, perplexed.

“Did you just call my future fake relationship with my awkward roommate bland? _Your_ relationship with no one is bland.” The shorter shoots back.

“Wow, that’s a comeback if I’ve ever heard one.”

Minhyuk turns to the youngest. “You know what? You’re fired. Hand me the apron.” He reaches out towards him.

“Nope, you’re the one who’s fired.” Kihyun crosses his arm over his chest and smirks at Minhyuk.

“The both of you are fired. I’m the owner now.” Changkyun announces as he pushes a distracted Minhyuk aside to take a order. “Good afternoon. How can I help you?” He asks with a sweet smile.

“How much for a kiss?” The guy asks.

“Sorry, only for my boyfriend.” Changkyun blinks his eyes sweetly, a smile on his lips.

“Good thing that’s me, then.” Jooheon throws a dimpled smile at the younger.

Minhyuk pretends to hurl as Kihyun scrunches up his nose.

“I swear to god, I liked you both more when you were still pining over each other.”

Jooheon laughs. “That’s so two months ago.” He waves his hand. “Green bubble tea, please, _darling.”_ He says the last word leaning too much towards a sickening sweet tone, in english.

“I’ll do it. Anything to get out of this hostile situation.” Minhyuk announces, walking out.

“What’s up with him?” Jooheon questions, walking around the counter like he works there.

“We fired him.” Changkyun shrugs. He wraps his arms around the other’s shoulder and pecks his lips before pulling back and smiling at him. A particular group of high schooler girls who come over mostly to watch the both of them interact than anything else make a fuss over it by one of the tables. The both of them smirk with knowing eyes.

“You guys fire each other too much on a daily basis for that to be healthy.” Jooheon points out, pulling Changkyun to the side with an arm around his waist.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Minhyuk comments as he walks over with the glass of tea in his hands. “You don’t even work here.”

Jooheon chuckles. “Indeed, I don’t.” He says as he opens the cash register and puts a few wons inside to pay for his drink before closing it again. “I still work more than the three of you combined, though.” He comments lightly as he stirs the tea with his straw. Jooheon takes the drink to Changkyun’s lips and lets the shorter sip on it before drinking himself.

“I hate the both of you and your perfect relationship.” Kihyun groans. “Why can’t _you_ be my mom’s son?”

“That’s a first.” Jooheon comments.

“He’s upset because he needs Hyunwoo-hyung to pretend to be his boyfriend for christmas, but we keep saying it’s a bad idea.” Changkyun explains.

“Because it is.” Minhyuk points out, then shrugs.

“Hyung would do it.” Jooheon says. “You might not be the best of friends, but he think’s you’re a nice person and is always grateful you cook so much. He told me it sometimes feels like he’s back home.”

“He’s always eating home though. His parents live here in Seoul, and he’s an only child. Even I have met them.” Kihyun tells him. “And how are you closer with my roommate than I am?”.

“I’m friendly.” He smiles. Changkyun rolls his eyes. “But isn’t he going to spend christmas with his family?”

“Seems like you don’t know everything after all.” Kihyun raises an eyebrow playfully.

“Still knows more than you.” Minhyuk points out, which earns his butt being whipped by Kihyun with the cloth he was holding and him yelping.

“His parents are going on a trip together because it’s their anniversary so he’ll stay home.” Kihyun tells Jooheon. “So it’s perfect!”

“Isn’t he bummed out?” Changkyun asks.

Kihyun waves his hand dismissively. “He doesn’t really mind.”

“If you’re saying…” Jooheon shrugs.

“Hey. You gonna sing today?” Minhyuk asks.

“I am if someone goes with me.” Jooheon says. Changkyun shakes his head and Kihyun grimaces

“Sorry. I’m gonna leave earlier today.” Kihyun tells him.

“Me and hyung have to stay behind the counter. _Sorry baby.”_ Changkyun explains.

Jooheon shrugs.

“It’s okay. I’m fine just staying here then. Take Changkyunie home afterwards.” Another dimpled smile. Changkyun blushes and pretends to be busy with the tie of his apron.

“Ugh, TMI.” Minhyuk groans.

Kihyun makes a face and goes to help some teenagers to connect the karaoke.

“Hey, are you gonna leave to see hyung?” The blond  asks, looking down at his watch, when Kihyun is back.

“Yeah, what time is it?” Questions the brunette, already untying his apron.

“He’ll be off in twenty.” Minhyuk tells him. “I’ll make you a drink to take to him.” He says as he’s already moving to make the iced americano.

“I thought you were against my plan?” Kihyun asks as he hurriedly gathers his things. Minhyuk finishes the drink and waits for the shorter to put on his coat before giving it to him.

“I am. But if you’re still gonna go on with it despite my warnings, then you should at least have my support.” The taller sighs. “At least he’ll get a coffee out of it.”

“He might get more than that.” Changkyun mumbles to Jooheon. Kihyun glares.

“I’m not gonna hook up with him.” The brunette insists.

“Okay.” Jooheon says, slurps his tea, then smiles. “But if you do you’ll tell us how it was, right?” He asks with a smirk.

“Hyung!”

“Oh my god.” Kihyun groans.

“C’mon. Promise you’ll tell us.” Minhyuk pokes.

“Whatever. When nothing happens you’ll know.” He complains, then walks out.

The library his roommate works at isn’t far away. By feet, Kihyun arrives there in ten minutes.

It’s a pretty place, not too big but not small either. The decoration on the inside makes him feel cozy, along with the smell of books and vanilla. Hyunwoo had once explained that was because the owner liked the scent.

“Hey.” Kihyun smiles when he finds Hyunwoo by the bookshelves, replacing some of the tags. The taller turns around looking surprised.

“Oh, hey. What are you doing here?” He asks, cleaning his hands on his uniform shirt that looks baggy on him. ‘I used to wear a tighter one, but there were some complaints it was too distracting so I decided to get a size bigger.’ He remembers the older explaining.

“Thank you for the warm reception, hyung.” The shorter scoffs. “Minhyuk made you coffee.” Kihyun smiles.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that.” He apologizes. “But it’s like the third time in three months you come here.” The older explains, changing the last tag and walking away with Kihyun on his heels.

“I wanted to be nice and bring you coffee and walk home together.” He reasons, toning it like it’s a completely normal thing for him to do.

“Sure.” Hyunwoo says, not sounding convinced at all.

“Hyung, tell your friend he can’t drink that around the books unless it was bought by him.” A tall cashier says from the counter.

“I’m not gonna drink it, don’t worry. I brought it for him.” Kihyun explains, turning to the guy with a smile.

He doesn’t smile back. He raises an eyebrow and then frowns before motioning at Kihyun and saying “It’s still spillable whether you drink it or not, so be careful.”

“Okay.” The shorter says, but the guy’s already turned around. “What’s his problem?” He asks Hyunwoo.

The taller sighs. “That’s Jaebum. He’s in a bad mood.” Hyunwoo explains. He motions for Kihyun to follow him and they enter a locker room. Hyunwoo locks the door behind them. “Our colleague Jinyoung is sick, so he couldn’t come today, and Jaebum isn’t taking it the best way.” He keeps explaining as he pulls off his shirt.

“Because you guys had to work for him too?” Kihyun asks, sitting on a bench and trying not to watch Hyunwoo shirtless like a creep.

“Not really. Jinyoung has been his best friend all his life and Jaebum worries getting angry.” He puts on a shirt and a cream colored sweater as he speaks. “Let’s go.” He says.

Kihyun offers the coffee in his hands, fingers almost numb due to the cold liquid inside the cup. “Minhyuk made it ‘cause I mentioned I was coming. They all said hi.”

“Thanks.” He takes the cup and sips on it. “Let’s go before it starts snowing. It’s already too cold outside.” He says as he unlocks the door and steps out.

They walk side by side, Kihyun notices they’re walking slightly apart from each other. More than he’d walk with Minhyuk or Hoseok or any of his friends. He takes this as an opportunity to test the older, and scoots closer to him. Hyunwoo glances at Kihyun sideways, but says nothing. He finishes his drink and throws it away once they get to the station.

“How do you drink that thing when it’s so cold outside?” The younger asks.

Hyunwoo just shrugs.

They get the subway and stand side to side as they wait. One of the reasons Kihyun doesn’t like to walk home with Hyunwoo is the fact they are both unable to make small talk to each other. Then the train makes a stop and he’s reminded of another reason. He always loses balance and risks falling face first on the floor and the older always has to hold him in order for that not to happen.

“Thank you, hyung.” He says a little flustered. It’s never a nice experience to have his face shoved into Hyunwoo, no matter how nice his body is and how many times it’s happened already.

“No problem.” He smiles. But his hand doesn’t leave Kihyun’s arm. He decides not to question it.

Hyunwoo only lets go of Kihyun when they arrive at their stop and the both of them get off of the train.

“God, it’s so cold outside I almost wish it wasn’t christmas yet.” Hyunwoo comments.

“Yeah. Thank god Gwangju is like, one degree warmer.” Kihyun says sarcastically as he takes out his shoes.

“Perfect beach weather.” Hyunwoo jokes.

Kihyun laughs, shaking his head. They hang their coats and both go inside their consecutive rooms to change into more comfortable clothes.

It’s now or never. Kihyun is nervous, he has to admit. He’s about to ask something that is both weird and desperate, and he has a big chance of getting rejected. Hyunwoo might judge him as crazy and move out, and then he’ll have to move in with Minhyuk.

_God forbid._

“Hyung, can I talk to you?” He asks. He walks out of his room to find Hyunwoo sitting on the couch with the TV on, one arm thrown over the back of the couch and the other hand holding his phone. His clothes mimic Kihyun’s own: sweatpants and a shirt. Only the younger is wearing a beanie over his hair.

The older looks up with slightly raised eyebrows and nods, locking his phone and settling it on the armrest.

“Yeah. What’s up?” He asks. Kihyun smiles awkwardly and sits next to him. He keeps his gaze fixed on the space between them, each sitting on an end of the couch. Hyunwoo frowns and crosses his arms. “Kihyun? Did you break something of mine?”

His head snaps up. “What? No! If anyone here ever breaks your stuff in here it’s you!”

The older laughs and raises his hands. “No need to get defensive. I just thought that maybe you had broken something for a change.”

“Well, I didn’t.” He explains, more calm now. “But I need to ask for a favor.” Kihyun tells him, then as Hyunwoo opens his mouth to say something, he adds “A weird favor.”

Hyunwoo squints his eyes. “How weird?”

“Mad weird.”

“Like Changkyun asking to decapitate me and put his head on my body?”

“...Okay, less weird than that.”

“Hit me up.” Hyunwoo indulges.

The shorter inhales deeply and lets go before finally saying. “Wouldyoupretendtobemyboyfriendsomymomwouldn’tthinkIcan’tgetone-”

“Wait, wait up.” Hyunwoo asks, scooting closer to Kihyun and shooting him a concerned look. “Please repeat that. Slower.” Kihyun nods nervously.

“I’m gonna explain and then maybe it’ll sound less weird. Maybe.” Hyunwoo motions for him to go on. So he does, keeping an eye for the older’s reaction. “I’m gay. And my mom knows and she accepts me, after some time in deny anyways, and I haven’t brought a boyfriend home yet, ‘cause I have my reasons.” Hyunwoo doesn’t even blink at the information. “She always tries to set me up whenever I go there, and I think that’s sweet but… She’s got horrible taste in men. Like, it’s even worse than me. And I’m a mess.” The taller laughs, and Kihyun smiles gratefully. “So I want to avoid it this year, and maybe for the rest of my life, and I wanted you to pretend to be my boyfriend so that she won’t bother me about it or think I’m gonna die alone because I’m incapable of finding someone.”

Hyunwoo stays silent, staring at Kihyun with an unreadable expression. Then he finally speaks up. “What would it entail?”

“What?” The shorter asks, taken aback.

“If I agree to be your pretend boyfriend. What would I have to do?” He clarifies.

“First you would have to come to Gwangju with me. And meet my parents and my brother and his family. And spends christmas with us and stuff.” Kihyun blushes. “And uh, just pretend you’re in love with me and all that jazz. We gotta make my mom believe we’ve been together for some months already. Then we come back and go back to normal, I’m gonna keep telling her we’re still dating for a couple of months then I’ll say we broke up.” He fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “I know it’s too much to ask, but I’ll owe you one, no, _two_ favors, and you’ll get to eat my mom’s food for christmas, and that’s already a pro.”

“That’s a lot.” Hyunwoo comments. “But it’s not that hard. I can do it, it’s no big deal.” He says.

Kihyun’s eyes widen comically. “You will? For real? You’re gonna do it?” Hyunwoo nods. “Oh my god hyun thank you so much!” He cries dramatically, holding onto the older’s sleeve and pretending to sob.

“Get off me you drama queen.” He laughs, but doesn’t move to shove Kihyun away or anything like that.

The shorter straightens up and shoots him a bright smile. “I’m gonna make you brownies as a thank you gift.” He announces, standing up, then runs off to the kitchen.

“If this is how it’s gonna be I think I wanna be your fake boyfriend forever.” Hyunwoo jokes.

“Yah! Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late for that now.” He says.

Kihyun rolls his eyes. He wants these brownie as much as Hyunwoo does, though, so he’s not taking it back. His phone rings while he’s mixing the dry ingredients, and he looks down at it to see it’s Minhyuk.

“Helloooo?” He answers.

_“Wow, so I gather everything went well?”_ The blond has a teasing tone to his voice.

“Well, not that it’s any of your business, but yes, it did went well, thank you very much.” He huffs. “Did you call just to ask?”

_“Yes, actually. I also want to know what you’re eating for dinner ‘cause I’m thinking about eating there. Too lazy to do it myself.”_

“Then order it?” Kihyun suggests.

_“Nah.”_

“You’re so goddamn spoiled.” Kihyun mutters. “I actually forgot about dinner, I’m making brownies, one sec-”

 _“Can’t we eat that for dinner?”_ The other asks.

“Shut up, Minhyuk.” He sighs. Kihyun covers the phone and yells out. “Hyung, can you make dinner today?” He asks.

“Sure!” Hyunwoo calls back from the living room.

“Yo, hyung is making dinner, are you coming over or not?” He asks Minhyuk.

_“Honestly I was hoping you’d be the one cooking, but since it’s either that or knocking at Changkyun and Jooheon’s and being traumatized, I think I’m coming over.”_

“Or you could make food yourself.” Kihyun points out.

_“Nope. I’m coming over. See you in ten.”_

“Okay, bye.”

He’s too good, honestly.

When he’s done with the batter, he puts the tray inside the oven. “C’mon. Come make us food.” He tells Hyunwoo.

The older sighs and stands up from the couch with a groan that makes him sound like a proper grandfather. “I’ve got such a bossy fake boyfriend.” He teases.

Kihyun slaps his arm when the older passes by him. “Don’t say those kind of stuff. It’s weird.” He complains.

“We’ll both have to get used to it, though.” He says, opening a cupboard to take out a pan.

“Whatever. Only when my family’s around.” He shrugs. “Don’t destroy the kitchen!” He warns, then walks out.

Thank god that worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments so I'll know how it's going, please?  
> My twt is DoctorFatCat in case y'all wanna hmu :DD  
> I love this story a lot aaa  
> Also!! Should I choose a span of time between posts or just post when they're done?


	3. Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: Hyunwoo, Hoseok, Kihyun and Jooheon have their All In hair in this fanfic  
> Minhyuk has the Rush/Hero era hair  
> Hyungwon has his Shine Forever hair  
> Changkyun has the Beautiful era hair  
> I thought you should know  
> Also, this is over 6k so be proud of me for writing so fast  
> Hope you enjoy it

 

> No, you’re mine,  
>  I have the duty to protect you  
>  I’ll protect you  
>  so no one can ever take you easily

 

“We should rehearse.” Hyunwoo says out of the blue, the two of them sitting side to side on their couch, She Was Pretty playing on the TV.

Kihyun stops mid-sipping his banana milk to glance at Hyunwoo. “Rehearse what?” He questions, cleaning the milk that gathered on the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Dating.” The older clarifies, and Kihyun almost chokes on spit. He had almost forgotten that Hyunwoo had agreed to that two days ago. “We should get used to pretending so it won’t look unnatural when we’re around your parents. We leave tomorrow after all.”

The brunette frowns. “Aren’t we gonna act like this? Like we’re acting right now? We’re not going to make out in front of my family, if that’s what you're suggesting. I mean, I don’t know what you do with your girlfriends in front of _your_ family, but I usually just hold their hand at best.” He says.

Hyunwoo splutters. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re gross.” He says, grimacing. “I meant like, we should discuss stuff about each other and make up some dates and those kind of things. Couples usually know the other really well.”

“Uh.” Kihyun says, mouth hanging open in a small O shape. “That makes sense.” He sighs. “Well then, what should we do?”

The older stops for a moment and stares at the TV, and it takes so long Kihyun wonders if he’s forgotten the subject. Then he finally says “I don’t know, actually. I haven’t been in a relationship for some time now.”

Well, that’s great, isn’t it? “Me neither.” The younger groans. “What do we do then? You’re used to dating girls and I’m not much better than you at having relationship with guys. I’ve never seriously dated before.”

The black haired man raises his eyebrows and turns his body completely towards Kihyun. “For real?” He asks.

“It’s not exactly easy to be gay in Korea, you know? And most guys don’t want to do anything more than sex because they’re too scared. I’ve only ever survived being gay and this small because Hoseok has always been there to protect me.”

Hyunwoo looks contemplating. “Your Hoseok friend sounds like a nice dude.” He says. “Is he going to be there?”

The younger shakes his head with wide eyes. “Thank god no. Hiding from him would be impossible. Unless we turn into incredible actors, that is.” He laughs. “He sometimes spends it with us, but this year I think he’s gonna be with his family in Anyang.”

“He’s from around here?” Hyunwoo questions, frowning.

“Technically. We both are, actually.” He says.

Hyunwoo’s frown deepens.

“Let me explain.” Kihyun starts, folding a leg under himself. “I was born in Ilsan, because at the time my family was living there, but when I was ten we moved back to Gwangju. Hoseok was born in Anyang, because his family is from there, and that’s how we met. Then I moved to Gwangju and met Minhyuk, and five years later Hoseok moved there too because he was accepted into a dance academy there, so my family took him in. When I was 18 I moved back to Gyeonggi along with Minhyuk and we studied at Hanyang University ‘till we graduated and opened a coffee shop.”

“That’s very complex.” The older chuckles. “I was born here and lived here my whole life.”

“That sounds nice. Staying at one place.” He comments, picking at a loose thread on his shirt.

“Not really. Sometimes it’s boring. At Chuseok, for example, everyone always travels to see their family and I just stay here and it’s… Not exciting.” He gives the other a small smile. “I’m kind of excited to go all the way to Gwangju to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your family.”

“Yeah… About that.” Kihyun starts, making Hyunwoo look at him again. “You seem to be pretty chill with all this.” He comments.

“I _am_ chill with it.”

“But like, aren’t you attracted to women solely? I can’t imagine any other straight guy agreeing so easily to a situation like this one. Even Minhyuk would be a little off.” Kihyun says, resting his torso against the back of the sofa, looking up at Hyunwoo.

“I mean…” Hyunwoo starts. “I’ve only liked girls my whole life, but one day that could change, you know? Maybe if I find the right guy.” He shrugs. “Also, this is completely platonic. I’m doing this for you. To save you from your mom’s plans, that’s all.”

Kihyun smiles. “Thank you.” And Hyunwoo smiles back, a little tight on the edges.

Then it gets awkward.

“Anyways, uh, what should we do?” Kihyun questions, scratching his nape.

“Maybe we should ask for help.” The taller chuckles. “We don’t have much knowledge in relationships. Maybe… Call Minhyuk? For help?” He suggests.

The brunette shakes his head. “Minhyuk is more single than the two of us combined.” He teases. “We need someone who knows us and knows about relationships as well.” He explains.

“First, we gotta settle when you guys first got together. Like, officially.” Jooheon tells them, standing in front of the couch with Changkyun by his side. “And you guys should know stuff about each other. Not in the most ridiculous details, you know? Because even me and Changkyunie forget stuff about each other sometimes, and we’ve been friends forever.”

“Yeah. Just yesterday I forgot his name. Twice.” The younger nods. “It’s okay not to know stuff.”

Jooheeon smiles at them. The two oldest smile back awkwardly. “Maybe we should all sit down to discuss this?” Hyunwoo suggests. Changkyun gets the both of them dining chairs to sit on in front of the couch and Kihyun disappears into his room only to get back some seconds later with a notebook and pen in hands. “Wait, are you seriously going to take notes?” He asks.

 _“Excuse me_ , but rehearsing was your idea, might I remind you. And I don’t want to have to break my head to remember stuff.” He huffs, tilting his chin up.

The other two watch them bicker back and forth until Changkyun decides to interfere. “You see, you’re already a great couple, but we should get to business.”

Kihyun scoffs and Hyunwoo rolls his eyes.

“We should tell them we started going out a little bit after you moved in. Like two weeks after?” Kihyun suggests, sharing a look with the older.

“I think it’s a good idea.” He nods. “I moved in on the 7th of October, so that would be…” He stops for few seconds as he deals with the mathematics of it. “The 21st.”

“How do you remember the date you moved in?” Jooheon’s eyes widen comically. “I sometimes forget my mom’s birthday.”

“I think it was because of some documents that I had to change. Stuff like address and I had to inform the post office. Those kinds of things.” The older explains like it’s nothing, which for him it isn’t, but Jooheon still can’t seem to get over.

“October 21st…” Kihyun mutters as he writes it down. “Aw we’ll celebrate our three month anniversary in two days, uh... What should I call you?” He asks seriously.

“Baby?” Changkyun suggests.

“Jagiya.” Jooheon says, like it’s obvious.

“Yeobo.” It’s what Hyunwoo settles for. Everyone shoots him incredulous looks.

“...We’re not supposed to be married.” The brunette says slowly. “You know that, right? Call me that in front of my mom and she’s going to arrange our wedding before you can even say ring.”

Hyunwoo’s expression turns into a desperate one.

“I think jagiya or aein is the best bet.” Changkyun interrupts. He looks at Kihyun. “Hyung, what’s Shownu-hyung’s birthday?”

The brunette coughs. “It’s in June.”

“That’s all you know?” Jooheon questions. “Do you know Kihyun-hyungie’s birthday, hyung?”

“It was less than a month ago if I’m not mistaken? November twenty-second.” The oldest nods.

Kihyun huffs. “We were already living together then. I didn’t know him back in June. I don’t have experience.”

“You’re not justifying an answer in an exam, hyung.” Changkyun laughs. “Do you know when he was born?”

“Ninety-two.” Kihyun says.

“Ninety-three.” Hyunwoo follows. “And I was born on June eighteenth.”

“Is hyung younger than Hoseok-hyung?” Jooheon asks Kihyun, scratching an eyebrow mindlessly.

Kihyun nods.

“I am?” Hyunwoo questions.

“Yeah. He’s from May. But you’re still older in mentality.” The brunette explains. “What’s my favorite colour, hyung?”

“Yes! Ask each other some essential everyone-should-know questions and we’ll interrupt if something’s missing.” Jooheon encourages.

“Your favorite colour is blue. And mine?” The taller raises his eyebrows with a smile.

“Yours is black.” Kihyun tries, to which he receives a nod. “What’s your blood type?”

“Mine’s O.”

“Explains a lot.” The younger ruffs. Changkyun rolls his eyes. “I’m a B.”

“ _Explains a lot.”_ Hyunwoo mocks. “What’s your favorite food? Favorite drink?”

And like that they go on, they share their favorite movies and even favorite shampoo brand, everything they consider common knowing and even what no one cares about, Kihyun writing it all down. That’s when Changkyun interrupts again.

“Favorite sex position?” He asks with an evil glint in his eyes.

Kihyun splutters, looking scandalized. Hyunwoo, on the other side, keeps his expression blank.

“ _We don’t need to know that_. And no one’s gonna ask, so who cares?” Kihyun says, blush creeping up his face.

“You went too far, Changkyunie.” Jooheon laughs.

“I wanted new ideas.” The younger ruffs.

“Aaaanyways, let’s go to the practical rehearsal now.”

“What do you mean, practical?” Hyunwoo asks, the frown settling back on his face.

“For example, do you guys ever touch each other?” Jooheon asks then. The two oldest share a panicked look and stare at the other two with desperation.

“I hope that _just_ sounds worst than it is.” Kihyun says.

“Don’t tell me you mean what I think you do.” Hyunwoo reinforces.

“Oh! No no, he doesn’t.” Changkyun says, glancing sideways at his boyfriend. “At least I _hope_ he doesn’t.”

“You can’t say that when you’ve literally just asked them what is their favorite sex position.” The other says with indignation. “I meant if you guys ever even get near each other. If you’re gonna pretend you’re dating then you should at least try not to sit the farthest away from each other as possible.”

That’s when they both realise that they are, indeed, on the opposite ends of the couch, not even close to touching.

“...That’s a good point.” Kihyun says, stunned, already scooting closer to his hyung. “What else?” He asks.

“Maybe try not to look too uncomfortable or tense when you interact. It’s really not convincing in the slightest.” Changkyun instructs, grimacing at the both of them. “Hyung, try to hug him.” He tells Hyunwoo.

Kihyun looks at the older hesitantly. “Are you really okay with this?” He asks.

“I’m fine. Worry about yourself. You look so tense you might as well be a marble statue.” He laughs.

The shorter sits back, looking offended. “This is awkward! We barely even talk some days and now we have to make skinship for my family. How do you want me to feel?”

“It was your idea.” Changkyun reminds him.

“Oh, shut up. I know it was my idea, but it doesn’t mean we can go from completely awkward to perfect couple in a few seconds.” He says, crossing his arms.

“But we can still try.” Hyunwoo incentives. “It’s not gonna be that bad. We’ll get used to it.”

“How are we gonna get used to it, hyung? We leave tomorrow.” The brunette sighs.

The oldest shrugs. “We have all day to practice.”

“I can’t understand how you’re being so optimistic about all of this.”

“You guys already bicker like a couple, you just have to get the romantic part down and it’s gonna be easy peasy pumpkin peasy.” Jooheon claps his hands. “Now, hold each other’s hand.” Hyunwoo reaches for Kihyun’s hand and holds it in his. “Not like that, you look like you’re constipated. Put some real feelings into it.” Kihyun chuckles at that.

“Think of it like the other is the love of your life and holding his hand is the best thing in the word.” The youngest suggests.

“Now you’re stretching it.” Hyunwoo says. The brunette by his side laughs even harder.

“Just try.” Jooheon rolls his eyes. He takes Changkyun’s hand is his for good measure and pecks the younger’s lips. “Whenever I hold his hand I do it because I feel like something’s missing if I don’t. Not because I feel like I have to.” He explains, smiling at his boyfriend.

“You see, the difference between you two and us both is that you’re _actually_ in love with each other.” Kihyun observes, to which Hyunwoo nods. “Hyung, hug me.” He says forcefully, scooting closer to the older and letting his side rest against his front, wrapping an arm around him for good measure. Hyunwoo instinctively wraps one arm around the shorter, as soon as Kihyun rests against him.

“Okay, I guess.” He says after a second, looking towards the two youngest for approval.

Jooheon nods with a dimpled smile. “That’s great.” Now lie like that for a few minutes while we go get some food.” He stands up.

“What? You want us to just lie here and do nothing?” Kihyun asks, raising his head to look at them.

“Talk to each other for a bit, it might help.” Changkyun says before following the other into to kitchen.

The brunette huffs and lays his head back on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. “I hate them.” He says.

The older laughs. “At least they’re not being completely useless.”

“I guess.”

They spend some seconds in silence. The taller stretches out his legs and Kihyun settles in between them, practically lying on top of him.

“Sorry for dragging you into this.” He speaks up. “It might be uncomfortable.”

Hyunwoo shakes his head. “It’s not, actually. I thought it might be too, but I just feel at ease. I could really sleep like this.” He adds.

“Don’t be silly.” Kihyun laughs. “You don’t have to lie to me just so I won’t feel guilty about making you do this.”

“I’m not lying. I’m really okay with it.” He says. “And just to be clear, if I weren’t comfortable with all of this, I wouldn’t be doing it. You seem to have this recurrent problem with your mom, and I know what it’s like to have this matter that won’t go away unless you do something about it. I want you to be free of it, I guess. It’s not a nice feeling.”

Kihyun moves his head so that his cheek is resting against the older’s shoulder instead of his temple. “It isn’t indeed.” He says.

It feels nice to do this. To hug someone like this. Feel arms around you and a solid body under him and be this comfortable about it. It almost makes him feel safe. Almost, because he still can shake the feeling that Hyunwoo could be uncomfortable and not telling him on it. He looks up and meets Hyunwoo’s eyes, trying not to react at how close their faces are and make the situation more awkward.

“What?” The taller asks.

“If at any moment you regret it and wants to back down, you can tell me. We can act up a fight and act distant towards each other. They won’t suspect.”

Hyunwoo smiles at him. “It’s a lot easier to act as if we’re dating than pretend I’m mad at you.” He says.

“Oh, good, you’re guys are a step ahead of us.” Jooheon comments as he and Changkyun walk back into the living room. The other two turn their head to look at him questioningly. “Kiss.” He indulges, like it’s the most obvious conclusion in the world.

“What?!” Kihyun says, lifting his head and almost hitting Hyunwoo on the nose. “Why?”

“Because you’re supposed to be a couple?” Changkyun frowns. “Why else?”

“We’re not going to _kiss_ in front of my family.”

“You’re not going to make out in front of them, but kissing when you know you’re in their line of sight is gonna look natural.” Jooheon says.

“If you don’t do it at least once they’re gonna wonder if something’s wrong.”

Kihyun stares at Changkyun’s face for what seems like forever, then tilts his head to look at Hyunwoo. He sees the other two walking away out of the corner of his eye. _At least they’ve got some sense,_ he thinks. He expects Hyunwoo to say anything to prevent this, say he’s not okay with it, but the older does nothing. They share a look that shows everything is okay, so Kihyun can’t think of anything else he can do but lean in.

They seal lips for a couple of seconds, and when they part Kihyun pushes away to sit up, Hyunwoo’s hand leaving his lower back.

“This is the first time I’ve kissed a guy.” The older muses, putting his hands behind his head.

Kihyun chuckles. “Lucky you it was with me.” He says.

“I gather you’re all set, then?” Jooheon asks, head popping out of Kihyun’s room. “We’re leaving now.” He announces, both walking out of it.

“I wish you both good luck.” Changkyun laughs. “Tell your mom I said hi, hyung.” He tells Kihyun before hugging him briefly.

“I’ll tell her. I bet she misses you.” The brunette smiles. “Come visit if you have the time.”

“I’ll try.”

“You guys should take some selcas. Ones that look more couple-y and stuff. Have something to show your mom if she asks.” Jooheon tells them as he puts on his shoes.

“And don’t forget to change shirts and your hair so it’ll look like they’re from different occasions.” The youngest adds.

“Good idea. Thank you, guys.” Hyunwoo pats Changkyun’s shoulder.

They finish putting on their shoes and grab their coats. “You’re welcome, thanks for the tea, hyung.”

“Have a happy christmas.” Jooheon says.

They bid their goodbyes, and the two younger leave.

Kihyun avoids the older’s eyes as he tells him “I’m gonna call my mom and tell her you’re coming along.”

“Now?” Hyunwoo asks.

“Yes.” The brunette says. “The sooner the better. We’re leaving tomorrow. I’m already getting scolded for only telling her today.” He sighs reaching for his phone on the couch and sitting down. “Every second we spend talking is a minute longer of scolding I’ll get.”

The taller laughs. “I’m gonna go get something to eat.” He says, and walks out.

The younger looks down at his phone with a frown. Hyunwoo acts as if everything that’s happening is so normal. He can only dream to be able to control his emotions like the older does.

He goes through his contacts list and finds his mom’s number easily. He taps it and presses the mobile onto his face as he waits for her to pick up. When she does, he can’t help the guilty feeling he gets in his gut about lying to her.

 _“Kihyunnie, my baby! How are you doing sweetheart? Is anything the matter?”_ She asks in a sweet but worried tone, which is very mother like.

“Eomma, hey. I’m doing well. Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to tell you something.” He laughs awkwardly.

 _“Did you break something, dear?”_ She questions.

Is that a recurrent thing in his life? Does he only ever contact people when he breaks stuff? Is that really his problem? This can’t be a coincidence, it’s not the first or second time. He’ll have to ask people about it.

“No, I just… I’m sorry if it’s late, and we’re coming over tomorrow, but-”

 _“_ We? _Who’s_ we _, Kihyun?”_ She interrupts.

“Eomma, let me finish.” He bickers. “I’m dating someone, and he’s coming over for christmas.”

She doesn’t answer for what seems like forever, and every second that passes has the brunette’s heart squeezing in his chest.

_“What?! And you’re only telling me this now! I have to get the rooms ready, where are you two gonna sleep? What does he eat? Why are you only telling me this now? Yoo Kihyun, I swear, if this is a joke...”_

“It isn’t! It’s not a joke, eomma, I’ve been dating my new roommate for almost three months now.” He nibbles on his lower lip. “We didn’t know how it was going to work out so I didn’t want to tell you and give you the wrong idea.” He mumbles, fidgeting with a throw pillow. “And we were only sure he was coming today. He was hesitant about it, uh, we both were. Hesitant, I mean.”

 _“Isn’t he gonna spend the holidays with his family?”_ She asks, and the man can easily picture the frown on her face.

“His parents are gonna travel together. And he’s an only child, so he was going to stay home alone.”

 _“Nonsense. He’s gonna come, even if I have to drag him to Gwangju myself.”_ A pause. _“Even if this is last minute, I’m so happy for you, my baby.”_

He smiles. It feels good to hear that, even if it’s not true. He hopes she won’t find out. “Thank you, eomma.”

_“I wanna talk to him.”_

What?!

“What?! You wanna talk to him? Right now?” He asks, panicking.

_“Of course. He’s eating my food for christmas, I wanna know what the boy likes. Is he busy?”_

“He’s-” But of course, a clueless Hyunwoo chooses that exact moment to walk in.

“Do we still have that seaweed we got last week?” He asks as he walks into the living room. When he looks at Kihyun and sees the panic in his face, eyes wide, he stops. “What?”

 _“Oh, is that him?”_ Kihyun grimaces, Hyunwoo raises an eyebrow in concern. _“Bring him over. I want to speak to him.”_

“Okay eomma, just a second.” He says, then presses the phone onto the couch as he furiously whispers. “She wants to talk to you!”

“What? Why?” The older’s eyes widen.

“I don’t know! Come over.” Kihyun says, scooting over so Hyunwoo will have a place to sit beside him. He brings the phone up again and taps the speaker icon. “You’re on speaker, eomma. Hyung is here next to me.” He announces.

“Eomani. Hi.” The older says rather awkwardly. It’s weird to hear Hyunwoo call his mom that now that she thinks they’re dating.

 _“It’s so good to finally meet one of Kihyunie’s boyfriends. Or meet you as a boyfriend, in this case.”_ She says, dramatic as ever. Kihyun blushes. _“So you’re coming over for the holidays?”_

“I am if it’s not gonna be a problem.” He smiles.

“It’s not.” Kihyun says, because he knows his mom can hear.

_“It’s not indeed. Do you have any preferences for the food? I have to find you both a place to sleep. I migh have to go up to old grandma’s cottage to see if it’s clean and ready to receive visits. Kihyun’s brother is already set up to sleep with us in the house.”_

“I don’t have any preferences, eomani. I eat anything.” Hyunwoo says.

“Wonhyun is coming? I didn’t know.” He trails out. “Oh my god! You’re gonna meet my nephew, Jagiya!” Kihyun perks up, smiling widely and trying not to feel weird about the pet name.

 _“Oh! That’s true. I hope you both get along well.”_ His mother laughs. _“I’m happy I’m finally meeting you, Hyunwoo-ssi, and now even more since I know you and my son are dating.”_

They share a look.

“I’m glad we’re finally meeting too, eomani. I hope you’ll think I’m good enough for your son.”

_“That’s for him to decide. But I hope that too.”_

Hyunwoo shoots Kihyun a smile. “I have to start packing then. I’m excited to meet you.”

_“Me too, Hyunwoo-ssi. See you soon!”_

“See you soon.” Hyunwoo says into the phone. He then turns to Kihyun and leaves a loud kiss on his lips before standing up and walking away.

Ten minutes later, suitcase open by the bed and no clothes inside it, Hyunwoo is lying on his bed scrolling through his phone when Kihyun walks in.

“What was that for, hyung?” The younger asks as he storms into his room. Hyunwoo looks up, startled. “Why did you kiss me? No one was looking!”

“Right, that.” It’s all the taller says for a while, then Kihyun pulls the pillow from under his head and starts hitting him with it. “Okay! Stop, I get it! I’m sorry!” He tries to stop Kihyun. When the younger finally stops, he uncovers his face and looks up at him, hesitant. “I knew she’d be able to hear. I wanted it to sound natural, I was nervous.” He explains.

Kihyun huffs. “Okay. Next time let me know.” He says and turns to walk out of the room, but he stops mid-step. “Oh, hyung, do you want to get takeout for dinner?” He asks.

“Sure.” Hyunwoo nods. “Unless you decide to end me with a pillow.”

That has the brunette laughing. “I might.”

They settle on Japchae and pork belly, and sit down by the couch to eat, putting the food on the coffee table.

“Do you reckon we spend too much time on this couch?” Kihyun questions around a mouthful of food. “We’re always here. Maybe we should get more furniture.”

The black haired man chuckles. “If we have enough money to buy furniture then we should spend it on more important things.” He says. “Or would you really buy something so expensive just because we spend too much time here? Is that even a bad thing?” He asks with a smile, and shifts his attention from the food to look at Kihyun, who has his cheeks full of japchae, much like a hamster. The younger seems to think for a while, then he hums.

“I wouldn’t. I’m just thinking out loud I guess.” He shrugs. “I wonder if my we still have coca-cola.”

The older shifts a bit on his seat and plays with his food before taking a piece of pork belly to his mouth. “Did your mom really mean it when she said she’s gonna check your grandma’s cottage?” He questions.

Kihyun nods. “It’s not exactly a cottage. We live closer to the countryside than the city. It’s not completely immersed in the wild, but it’s nice. My grandma used to live in a family house, and my mother and her siblings were raised there. When grandma passed away we started using it as a guest house. Most of the time my other grandma comes to visit and my brother uses it when he comes from Japan.” He makes a wrap and shoves it in his mouth, chewing, before continuing. “It’s not big. It’s got a room in the first floor, where grandma used to sleep when she got older, and two in the second floor. It’s nice and only a ten minute walk from my parent’s house. And we’ll probably be alone in there, so we won’t have to pretend as much.”

The taller male hums, raising his eyebrows. “I guess it’s for the best then.” He says. He munches on his food as he watches the younger make another wrap for himself. That is, until he raises it to Hyunwoo’s mouth. He gets a roll of eyes when he smirks at the gesture.

“We gotta get used to acting like this. Just eat the damn thing, hyung.” Kihyun says, practically shoving the lettuce filled with vegetables and pork into the other’s mouth. “There, there.”

“Thank you, _nae sarang_.” The older says with sarcasm dripping in his tone.

Kihyun smiles and stands up. “I’ll get that coca-cola I’ve been craving, do you want some?” He asks, then walks away into the kitchen without an answer.

“I do.” Hyunwoo calls back when he’s finally managed to swallow the weapon of his attempted murder by asphyxiation. “Quickly, please, I think the wrap is settling in my throat.”

Kihyun walks back with two glasses filled with the dark fizzy liquid in his hands and a grin on his lips. “Don’t be so dramatic, you beast.”

“Why am I a beast?” Hyunwoo questions, offended.

The younger giggles as he answers. “Because you’re big and muscled and your manners are terrible.” It’s what he says.

The older gulps down half of his drink before grabbing a throw pillow and hitting the younger with it.

“Respect your elders.” He mocks.

“I refuse to respect you. You just called me _nae sarang_. Are you serious?”

“What? I used to call many of my exes that.”

“ _Many_ of your exes? Makes it sound like you’ve had a lot of them. Do tell me more. I insist.” Kihyun teases, to which the older sighs.

“You’re so annoying.”

The younger laughs and proceeds eating his food. It’s only a couple minutes later when he remembers. “We should take selcas.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, it’ll look more natural.” Kihyun explains as he grabs his phone and turns on the camera app. “Smile.” He says, scooting closer and smiling himself. “Oh, these look terrible. It’s perfect.”

“ _Great_.” Hyunwoo laughs. “Now what?”

“Sit back.” The younger motions with his hands. “I’m gonna sit on your lap.”

“What? Why?”

“Don’t argue with me, hyung, just do as I say.” So he does, resting his back against the couch and letting Kihyun settle on his thighs. The brunette hands him the phone. “Take the picture.”

“Why don’t you do it?” The older questions, wrapping an arm around Kihyun’s waist so he won’t lose balance.

“Because I’m busy doing this.” Kihyun explains as he wraps his arms around the other’s neck. “Go, go.”

Hyunwoo smiles to the camera and tries not to think about the ridiculous situation they’ve found themselves in. Kihyun changes his position slightly for every picture, and the older feels awkward about looking the same in all of them, so he looks at the younger instead of at the camera. Kihyun does notice it, and turns towards him too, letting their noses brush together as he smiles. For a moment, the older thinks he’s going to kiss him, but instead, he presses their foreheads together and cups his jaw, and Hyunwoo automatically knows he’s supposed to do the same. He closes his eyes and lets himself smile for the sake of the picture. After taking two or three pictures just to be sure, the younger moves away.

“This is enough of lovey dovey, right?” He questions, trying to get off Hyunwoo’s lap, but the older holds him down.

“Wait, I’ve got an idea.” He says, pulling Kihyun to rest his back against his chest. He takes the phone from the younger’s hand, which lets go of it easily, and positions it so that the frontal camera will have him on frame. He opens the Snow app and chooses a cute filter with peaches on the cheeks.

“You can’t be serious.” Kihyun deadpans.

The only thing the ravenette says before taking the pictures is. “Shut up and smile, jagi.”

“Oh my god, delete that!” The younger screeches. “I look like I’m twelve and going through my fat phase all over again. But this time I’m _blushing and got peaches on my cheeks._ ” He groans, letting his head fall back to Hyunwoo’s shoulder.

“It’s cute, I’m gonna save it.” The taller says, doing so. “Your mom is gonna love it.”

“This is the most physical contact we’ve made since we met. The whole day, actually.” Kihyun raises his head again and shoves himself away from Hyunwoo. “Whatever. We’re gonna take more later when we’re ready to bed.”

“Why?”

“I don't know. Couples do that.” Kihyun shrugs, looking down at his phone.

They finish what’s left of their dinner and take the dishes to the kitchen, deciding on Hyunwoo to wash and Kihyun drying and putting away.

“This is already domestic enough for people to think we’ve been married for years.” Hyunwoo comments.

The younger laughs. “Yeah. Maybe this is what we should do all day. Wash the dishes in front of my mom.”

The taller shakes his head as he chuckles. “The definition of romance. I bet she’s gonna love to have the dishes washed, though.”

It’s comfortable. Kind of odd, but still nice. They’re interacting without the awkwardness between them, laughing and joking like old friends. Maybe they’ll make something good out of this, at last.

They go their separate ways to get ready for bed. Kihyun takes a shower first, then waits for Hyunwoo to finish his own shower so they’ll be able to take some new stupid pictures and get it over with.

“Are you done yet?” He calls out, forehead resting against the bathroom door. “It’s been a _ages._ ”

The door opens suddenly, and Kihyun loses balance and falls forward. Hyunwoo holds him in the last minute.

“It’s been seven minutes.” He glares.

“Exactly.” The brunette shoots back, getting back on his feet and straightening up. “ _Ages._ ”

The taller sighs and rubs his forehead with his hand. Kihyun is a _thing_ , honestly. His mental state is gonna crumble.

They decide to take the most generic picture ever known by man, and take mirror selcas while brushing their teeth. They make faces at the camera, and there’s the recorded moment of when the foam dribbles out of Kihyun’s mouth and Hyunwoo chokes on the toothpaste when he laughs at him.

They finish the photoshoot in the bathroom and take a last selfie on Hyunwoo’s bed, Kihyun pretending to be asleep and the older smiling at the camera, lying behind him.

“Get your disgusting _breathing_ away from my neck.” Kihyun cries out when the other announces the pictures are taken. “This was so goddamn uncomfortable.”

“You seem to be a lot more bothered about this than I am.” Hyunwoo comments, unlocking his own phone.

“Maybe because I am.” He hisses. “I’ll send you some of this pictures. And some selcas of me. You should have those on your phone.” He tells him, already opening their Kakao Talk chat that mostly consists of questions about groceries and location. He sends all the pictures and some of his best selcas. He at least should look good if he’s gonna be all over the other’s phone.

“I’m gonna go to bed now.” He announces. “Send me some photos of yourself too if you have any.” He grins. “Good night, hyung. Be ready for tomorrow.” Kihyun motions towards the now half full suitcase on the floor.

He walks out.

Hyunwoo lies there with his thoughts, phone in hand. He gets up to turn off the lights and leave the lamp on. And he thinks about what he’s doing, as he lies back down. Should he have agreed to this? What if Kihyun catches feelings for him? What if things get so awkward they can’t get along anymore, nor live together. He’d hate to have that happen. Kihyun is a friend now. They’re not the closest friends the world has ever seen, and have only been actual friends for about two weeks, but the thought of having a fall out with him is still a bother.

He can’t stop himself from comparing, either. How having Kihyun’s tall but yet still not big body against his own, different from a girl’s, sturdier, less curvy, taller. And yet, his lips feel the same as any girl’s lips. He guesses there’s not much difference between male and female lips. Rather, none at all.

Is it, then, stupid of him to overthink this?

He hears Kihyun’s phone ringing in his room, and the younger picking up. He’s not exactly speaking loudly, so the older can’t hear the words he’s pronouncing, but he can perceive the brunette’s tone as excited, or at least surprised. He can hear his tiny steps around the room, pacing as he talks to whoever called him.

God. He hopes he can act well. Hopes he can get his family to believe they’re in love. Maybe if everything goes well, they’ll become close friends.

Then Kihyun barges in unannounced.

“Hyung!” He exclaims.

Hyunwoo jerks in surprise and almost kicks the wall with the movement. This kid is gonna be the death of him.

“What?! Jesus Christ, Kihyun-ah, are you trying to kill me?”

The younger’s expression turns from worried to surprised. “Did you just call me Kihyun-ah?” He asks. Then cuts himself off before Hyunwoo can even think of an answer. “Doesn't matter. Not right now, at least. We’ve got problems.”

The black haired male sits up and pulls the cover off himself, standing up after that. “What do you mean we’ve got problems? What happened?”

Kihyun’s fist clenches and he breathes in deeply. “My mother called.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give me feedback ;-;  
> And sorry for the cliffhanger lmao  
> Next one is gonna be super duper cute.


	4. Ready or Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I have many things to say  
> 1\. You might have noticed the total of chapters has changed from 11 to 12, and that's because  
> 2\. I had to split this chapter in a half. I had my friends tell me that they'd rather read a smaller chapter and have it updated sooner than waiting longer for a longer chapter  
> 3\. I'm glad I didn't ignore them, because the first part ended up being a lot longer than anticipated (it's over 7.7k) and if I hadn't cut it this chapter would've been a monster.  
> 4\. I had the names of all the chapters chosen already. All of them were named after the title songs and 2 of the most famous non-titles that fit the idea of the chapter. The main reason I wasn't gonna add Dramarama was that (and because when I planned this fic they hadn't announced a comeback yet).  
> 5\. Though, since I had to cut this chapter in two, I have one more chapter, which explains number 1 and 4. The lyrics of Dramarama don't actually match the other chapter, but I'd feel really uncomfortable not using a title song as a chapter title, so...  
> -  
> I'm sorry I took so long! I didn't mean to, but was going insane trying to find out what the hell they were going to be doing during this whole chapter.  
> I'm getting into finals week in college, so I might take long to update the next too (That's not a promise though). But I don't think I'm gonna take as long as I did for this one.  
> That was a lot.  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> (I didn't proofread so there might be a certain number of mistakes. If it bothers you, point it out and I'll fix it)  
> -  
> THANK YOU FOR THE 1K HITS <3 <3 <3

> Oh ready or not, the show will start  
>  Are you ready or not  
>  There’s no preview, just go  
>  Show me yourself, ready or not

 

“What? What happened? What did she say? Is everything okay? Did she say I can’t go?” Hyunwoo jumps out of bed and walks towards the younger, taking him by the shoulders. “Did she get into an accident? Tell me!”

Kihyun pushes him away. “No! Goddamnit. She’s fine. We can still go. The problem is not with us.” The brunette explains, rubbing his right hip with a frown. “She’s called to give me some, and I quote, ‘great news’. Which aren’t that great for us.”

Hyunwoo frowns, eyeing the place Kihyun is rubbing.

“What did she say? And what’s up with your hip? Did you hurt yourself?” The raven haired male asks, sitting down by the edge of the mattress, motioning for Kihyun to do the same.

“I fell out of bed when she told me.” He explains, sighing as he complies to Hyunwoo’s wish. “Hoseok is coming, hyung.” The younger says, meeting the other’s eyes. “He’s coming and we’ll have to be convincing enough so he won’t suspect.”

The older looks around, scratching his nape, looking for something useful to say. “Can’t we tell him?” He asks. “He’s your friend, he would understand, wouldn’t he?”

“He would, yes. But Hoseok can’t lie for shit.” Kihyun laughs dryly. “We’re doomed.” He whines, and hides his face in his hands, falling backwards on the bed. “Mom is gonna find out and she’ll _never_ trust me again, and when, and that’s also a big if, I get a real boyfriend, she’s gonna be so distrustful that she’s gonna question him to no end and potentially ruin a relationship I don’t even have. _God!”_

“Okay, okay, no need for that, we’ll be fine.” The older tries to calm both of them down. He doesn’t want to admit that the idea of having to lie to Kihyun’s best friend who seems to know him so well is terrifying. “We have to be convincing. That’s all. We can do that.” He tells the younger. “We can do it.” He tells himself.

“We can, right?” Kihyun asks, sitting up. “We’ll act like we’re so in love not even Romeo and Juliet would be able to compete with us.” He squints his eyes and straightens his back. “We’ll be like Eun Tak and the Goblin.” He swallows. “Promise me you’ll try your hardest.” Kihyun asks, looking at the older.

Hyunwoo nods. “I will. I promise.”

So Kihyun nods too. “I trust you. It’ll be fine.” He bits his lip and stands up. “Go to sleep, then. We leave early tomorrow.” He says as he walks out, stopping at the door to turn to the older and say “I hope you’re all packed, we won’t have time for that tomorrow.”

“I am. And same for you.” The taller says, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay then. Goodnight, hyung.” Kihyun waves minimally, and closes the door behind himself as he walks out.

The older is left by himself, wondering if what he’s told Kihyun is what he actually believes in. Is everything really going to be okay? Will they be able to fool not only his family, but his best friend? God. And if they fail. The consequences that the younger will have to face for lying to everyone. What if they start dating for real? That wouldn’t be pretending, right? Only it would, because Kihyun already told his mom they’ve been dating for three months, and you can’t change the past.

“Shit.” Hyunwoo mutters under his breath. He hopes with all his might that the artistic vein in his body will present itself this week, because if it doesn’t, he might fuck up his roommate’s love life forever. Okay, maybe not forever, but for a long time.

He falls asleep an hour later, still worrying.

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to Kihyun’s sleep-swollen face and his voice in a deep whisper.

“Wake up, hyung. We have to leave in half an hour.” He’s muttering, looking so tired he might as well still be asleep. “Get up.”

Hyunwoo groans. “Can I back out now?” He questions, burying his face on his pillow.

The younger chuckles. “Nope. Get up, we’ll eat and then leave. We have to take the subway to the station.”

“ _Great_.” The older mumbles. “Get a train to get another train. I love life.”

“At least we’re sitting for the ten hour trip. It could be worse.” Says the brunette male as the other sits up and stares at him with a chubby face and blanket marks on his left cheek. Cute.

“What time is it?” Hyunwoo asks, scratching his head and running his fingers through his messy short hair.

“Half past six.” The younger grimaces. Hyunwoo groans. “I know, but let’s go. Make sure you don’t forget anything important.” He warns, and stands to leave.

“As long as I have you, yeobo.” The older says sarcastically, falling back onto the bed.

Kihyun laughs. “Shut up!” He walks out with a smile on his face. “He thinks he so funny.” He mumbles.

“That’s because I am!” Calls out the ravenette, walking out of the room right behind Kihyun. “I’m the funniest man alive.”

“Of course you are. The stoic ass robot. The funniest man.” The younger shakes his head, amused. “Right.”

They have a simple breakfast. Not something too elaborate since they don’t have time to wash a lot of dishes and don’t have time to _make_ something too complicated. Hyunwoo washes the dishes and leaves them in the dryer while the younger showers. He uses the time left to pack the last things while Kihyun isn’t done yet.

“The bathroom is free!” Declares the brunette as he passes the other’s room on the way to his own. “Be quick.”

Hyunwoo hums in acknowledgement and tries putting away the things he’s going to need faster. He briefly sees Kihyun passing by his room again and a few seconds later there are noises in the kitchen, which indicates he’s drying the dishes and putting them away.

The older takes a few minutes longer and finally enters the bathroom to shower. He turns on the water, and grunts at the cold spray that almost hits him. It’s cruel to expect someone to take a shower in this weather, no matter the water’s temperature. He waits for a bit and tests the water again, getting under it when he’s pleased enough with the temperature.

Then, as his face is soaped up and he’s ready to wash it out, Kihyun’s voice comes a lot closer than it should sound from behind the door.

“Do you mind if I come in?” Asks the younger. Hyunwoo knows that the door is open and Kihyun probably has his head inside the bathroom. Thankfully, the shower box is of an opaque glass, so he’s not butt naked in front of his roommate.

“Sure. Did you forget something?” He questions.

Kihyun hums. “I have to pee and brush my teeth. Figured doing while you’re still in there will save time.” The younger explains. “Tell me if you want me to come out.”

Hyunwoo keeps washing off the foam as he hears the younger move around. Kihyun does as he says, and uses the toilet before moving to the sink to wash his hands and then brush his teeth. The older has the water turned off by the time Kihyun is washing his hands, and grabs the towel to dry himself.

“I’m gonna come out. Beware of my nakedness.” He jokes, wrapping the towel around his waist and opening the glass door to step out onto the mat.

Kihyun glances briefly at him while he’s putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. “Don’t worry, hyung, you’re hot enough for me not to care.” He shrugs.

The black haired man pinches the younger’s waist at that, and receives a muffled noise of complaint. He grabs his own toothbrush and the toothpaste, and soon he and Kihyun are brushing their teeths next to each other, just like the night before. Only this time there’s the absence of a camera. They finish brushing their teeth at approximately the same time, and both go into their rooms to change and grab their suitcases.

“Remember to take toiletries that you’ll need.” Kihyun calls as he passes by the older’s bedroom to go into the bathroom.

They get ready as fast as they can muster. Both wrapped up in thick coats, to fight off the cold. In only a few minutes, they’re at the door, ready to go downstairs and get into the uber that will be arriving shortly.

“This is gonna work, right?” Kihyun asks, fidgeting, as they get their keys and wallets. “We’re gonna do well and I won’t disappoint my family and friends, right?” He questions. Hyunwoo looks at him and notices a worried look in his eyes. He could be crying if he tried hard enough, looking down at the keychain in his hands.

The older feels his heart clench at the sight of his roommate worried like that.

“It’s gonna be fine, Kihyun.” He tells him, sighing. “Listen,” He starts, putting his hands on the shorter’s shoulders to turn him to himself and look him on the face. “Let’s do it like this: from the moment we step out of this apartment, until we get back in, we’re dating for real.” Kihyun’s eyes widen comically, and the older laughs internally. “No pretend. You’ll be my boyfriend, I’ll be yours, and we’ll have to act like we’re in love, or falling in love, anyways. We can easily lie the last three months, and actually date when we’re there until we get back. What do you say?” He asks.

The younger takes a deep breath and curls his lips, then presses them in a tight line and nods.

“Okay. We can do it.” He swallows. Kihyun raises his hand and extends his pinky finger to Hyunwoo, who takes a second to understand and curl his own pinky around the younger’s. He notices how much smaller and chubbier the brunette’s hands are. _Cute_.

They walk out of the apartment and close the door, and Hyunwoo shares a look with his roommate, reluctant, but Kihyun shoots him a smile, which makes the older feel more at ease.

“Okay, we’re dating now. Until we get back in.” Hyunwoo announces.

Kihyun keeps smiling until his expression turns into a wide eyed one, but this time he seems like he’s thought of something important. “I forgot my lipbalm!” He exclaims, and hurries to unlock the door and get inside. Hyunwoo is left outside laughing to himself. “This doesn’t count! We’re still dating!” He warns from the inside of the place. Kihyun takes only a few moments to run back out, lip balm on his lips and the small stick being shoved into his pocket. “I could’ve died without that.” He comments.

The older shakes his head. “Can you be any more dramatic?” He questions. Kihyun puffs his chest.

“When your lips are chapped and falling apart don’t come for me and my lip balm.” He murmurs darkly.

Hyunwoo hums. “That could be read as something else, _babe_.” He points out as they enter the lift.

Kihyun scoffs. “Shut up.”

They only wait a few minutes until the uber arrives to take them to the station. The journey is boring and like it usually is whenever you’re about to go in a trip by train. They buy the tickets and wait, not in the slightest anxious to spend around ten hours inside a train, with only half an hour of a break in between those. Kihyun already wants to give up.

They get inside after dispatching their bags, apart from the backpack they have on them. They find seats, next to each other, Kihyun by the window and Hyunwoo by his side. They wait while there are still people getting ready and the train waits for the time to take off.

“I’m so cold.” Kihyun complains. “Even in here it’s still cold. This is ridiculous. Why can’t we spend christmas on Hawaii or something?”

The older chuckles, browsing through his phone. “I’m really cold too, but I don’t think Hawaii would’ve suited the holiday. Not for us, at least.” He comments without taking his eyes off the screen. “Minhyuk is asking why you haven’t read his messages.”

“Oh! I left my phone updating the software overnight. I’m gonna turn it on.” Kihyun explains. “Did you update the iOS yet? I wanna see what it looks like.”

“I didn’t. I forgot, actually. I’m gonna do it in Gwangju.” Hyunwoo tells him.

“When you lived on your own, how did you manage to survive?” Asks the younger, eyes on the screen of his mobile as it comes to life. The taller male emits a grunt of complaint at the comment, but doesn’t answer. “Jesus, okay then. The layout isn’t bad.” He murmurs, unlocking it. He opens Kakao Talk to read the texts Minhyuk as sent him. “Minhyuk wanted to say he’ll try to visit if he comes down to Gwangju too. He might come with Changkyun and Jooheon if he does.”

“Jooheon is coming? Doesn’t his family live in Seoul?” Hyunwoo questions.

The younger nods. “He’s coming to meet Changkyunie’s family.” He explains. “My baby is growing so fast.”

“Changkyun is your baby?”

“He’s _our_ baby. He’s our maknae.” Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “He’s your baby too, hyung. Take care of him.”

The threatening tone in the brunette’s voice couldn’t be more real if he tried.

“Okay. Calm down, I’ll take care of the twenty one year old child.”

The brunette male rolls his eyes, and chuckles right after, going back to his phone. “I’ll tell Minhyuk that-” He stops mid-phrase, and Hyunwoo turns his head to look at him only to encounter the younger with his mouth open in what looks like an expression of both surprise and offense.

“What’s up?” The older questions, craning his neck to look at the phone screen. Nothing out of the ordinary. He has the Kakao conversation open and a phrase typed in, the emoji keyboard open and waiting. “Kihyun-ah?”

“What the fuck is this?” Kihyun asks, exasperated. Hyunwoo pulls back quickly, flinching. “What is this? What did they do with the emojis?”

The older looks around to see if the other’s loud remarks have brought people’s attention to them.

“The emojis look ridiculous! What is this goddamn bullshit? I refuse to use this! How do I go back to the old software?”

“You can’t.” Hyunwoo tells him. “C’mon, you’ll get used to it.”

“How can I get used to these ridiculous things? This is absurd. I want my money back.” The younger ruffs, pressing send without ani emojis, settling on sending the animations from Kakao instead. “I’m gonna boycott this shit.”

“You sound like a boygroup fan.” Hyunwoo comments.

“Shut up.” The younger locks his phone and shoves it roughly into his pocket. “I’m bored.”

“We just got here.” The older sighs. “Why don’t you try to sleep? We’ll have to get off in about five hours.”

Kihyun chuckles. “Get off.” He mumbles.

“Oh my god.”

“You’re going to get me off, jagiya? Hmm?” The brunette teases, smiling wide and devilishly at the older male.

“I hate you so much.” Hyunwoo groans, face palming. “Go to sleep, Kihyun.”

The younger starts laughing, probably harder than considered adequate, but it’s not like he cares much.

“I can’t believe I ended up officially dating you.” The ravenette sighs. “I wish I wasn’t this nice.”

“Nope. You suggested that because you’re gay for me and it’s your new year’s resolution to bang me.” Kihyun jokes, wiping his eyes.

“I didn’t even know you in new years.”

“It’s gonna be a resolution this year then. You want a piece of me. Admit it.” He says with a shit eating grin.

“No. I want _all_ of you. I want all of you to fall asleep. You can even use me as a pillow, as long as you shut up.” Hyunwoo complains, taking his coat off due to the temperature rising inside the cabin to a point where it’s not cold enough to wear it.

The brunette nods, playful small still on his lips, taking off his own coat and folding it into a makeshift pillow. Hyunwoo observes, and assumes Kihyun is silently declining his offer to be his pillow. Then the younger puts the coat on his lap and lifts the armrest so he can put his head on the older’s lap while his legs are folded on his own seat.

“You’re nowhere as small to be comfortable like that.” The taller points out.

“I’m comfortable enough. You’re bigger than me anyways.”

“The fact that I’m bigger than you doesn’t change the fact that you’re at least a hundred and seventy five centimeters tall. Being shorter than someone else doesn’t make you less tall. You’re tall, get over it.” The older mumbles the last part, turning his head to look out of the window.

Kihyun whistles. “Wow that was uncalled for. But thank you for the rant.” He chuckles. “Hyung. You should get some sleep too.” It’s the last thing the younger says before finally quieting down and closing his eyes.

The older realizes, only after two whole minutes, that Kihyun is not going to speak up again, so he looks down and takes notice that the other has finally fallen asleep. He’s on his side, back turned to Hyunwoo and arms against his chest, his hands resting in front of his face, left over the right. He looks cute. Now that he’s not being annoying, anyway.

Hyunwoo sighs and tries to rearrange his body without waking up the younger, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep in the terrible position he’s found himself in. He crosses his arms over his chest and breathes in deeply.

It takes some time, but he falls asleep.

They stay like that for about an hour, asleep in the cramped position. Then, a kid that’s sitting behind them kicks the back of Hyunwoo’s seat. The older male wakes up, trying to process what’s happening and why he’s not asleep anymore. He hears a hiss coming from the seats right behind him, and seconds later a lady puts her head over the back of Kihyun’s chair to smile apologetically and say she’s very sorry her son wake him up.

Hyunwoo waves her off with a sleepy smile. She sits back, and the older male is thinking of falling back asleep when he realizes the temperature has dropped again. He looks down to make sure the younger man is still asleep. Hyunwoo touches Kihyun’s hand with his fingers and feels how cold they are. He grabs his own coat, abandoned over the other armrest of the younger’s chair, and covers his arms and Kihyun’s torso with it. He folds his arms against his chest again and settles in the uncomfortable but familiar position he fell asleep in, and tries to go back into deep slumber.

Around three hours after that, Kihyun wakes up. He realizes, at first, that his ears are probably frozen. And, okay, that’s an exaggeration, but they are really cold. He can barely feel them.

The next thing he notices is that the rest of his body isn’t cold. He moves his arm and feels an uncommon light weight around himself. Kihyun finally breaks an eye open to inspect, and finds what appears to be Hyunwoo’s coat over himself. Kihyun moves a bit, trying to wake up. The brunette tries to move out of Hyunwoo’s lap without waking the older up, but his brain is still not working the right way, so he fails the mission.

“Morning.” He smiles. The older frowns, looking around. “Sorry I woke you.”

The ravenette shakes his head, stretching out his arms with a yawn. “It’s okay.”

Kihyun sits back on his chair and takes his own coat, which he was using as a pillow, and puts it on.

“Did you cover me when I was sleeping?” He questions, eyes big with curiosity. The older male nods, still looking like he’s trying to process what’s happening around him. His face is chubbier due to sleep and he’s pouting slightly. Kihyun feels a wave of affection run over him. It’s the same feeling you get when you see a puppy yawn.

He leans forward and takes Hyunwoo’s face in his hand, kissing his cheek. The taller is thoroughly confused, but doesn’t move away or flinch.

“What was that for?” He asks.

Kihyun smiles at him. “You look cute.” He says, then proceeds to pinch the other’s cheeks.

“Then kiss me for real.” The older mumbles like it’s nothing, looking at Kihyun with his expressionless sleep-chubby face.

The younger leans in and kisses him on the lips. “You’re the gayest hetero I’ve ever met.” He whispers, chuckling.

“I’m attracted to women, which doesn’t mean I’m repulsed by guys. One is not directly related to the other, kid.”

“Don’t call me kid, we’ve just kissed.” The younger grimaces. “And I’m your boyfriend.”

Hyunwoo hums. “Details apart.” He says. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Forty past eleven.” Kihyun tells him. “We have almost an hour to kill before we arrive at Daejeon. Wanna do something?”

“Like what? Do you have food?”

“Oh no, sweetie. I forgot to bring them.” Kihyun rubs his forehead. “We can eat at the station when we arrive, okay? And buy some snacks there for the next train. I’m sorry.” He curls his mouth and looks apologetically at the older.

“It’s fine. It’s not your obligation or anything like that.” The older tells him. “Do you wanna talk about something? Anything?”

Kihyun shrugs. “You?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head.

They look around and fidget, bored out of their minds. Until Kihyun turns to the older and says “I can identify people by their smell.”

“...What?” The ravenette asks, eyebrows meeting. “So like a dog.”

The younger nods and smiles wide. “Yeah!”

“Okay.” Hyunwoo says. “Why did you tell me that?”

“I don’t know! I’m trying to start a conversation here, help me!”

The taller male groans. “Fine. What else does your nose do?”

“It helps me breathe.” Says the brunette with a poker face. “That’s not how I want you to help.”

“I think Jaebum likes Jinyoung.” The older says out of the nowhere.

Kihyun doesn’t know what to say, so he stares wide eyed at his roommate.

“I mean _like_ like. He likes Jinyoung. I’m sure of it.”

“W-” Kihyun tries to say. “What? How? Why did you- What’s happening right now?” He asks, incredulous.

“I don’t know what else to tell you.” The older says. “I don’t think Jaebum realizes he loves Jinyoung, though. His parents have always been really homophobic and he grew up with that mindset. It’s gonna be tough for him.”

Kihyun exhales, frowning slightly. “It always is.” He says. “In this country, it always is.” He looks out of the window. “I never thought my mom would accept it. It took her about three years to finally grasp it. My dad, though, I don’t think he ever fully will.”

“Do you still keep in touch with the rest of your family?” Hyunwoo asks.

“Not really, no.” Says the brunette, expression still blank. “But we’ve never been that close, so…”

“Mine neither.” The oldest says. “It’s always been me, mom and dad. Maybe that’s one of the reasons for me to have agreed to this so easily.”

“What?” Kihyun asks, not getting what his roommate means.

“I’ll get the feeling of what it’s like to spend the holidays with a bigger family. Even if it’s not my family and if it’s just this once.” He explains.

“You can come to spend christmas with us whenever you want.” The younger says, scowling. “Bring your parents, even. We don’t mind, I promise.”

“I don’t want to bother you.”

“I _promise_.” Kihyun insists.

The older male looks at the man sitting beside him and grins at him. He can tell the shorter is being genuine.

They sit and talk about whatever comes to mind until they arrive at Daejeon. They get their luggage and get off the train. First thing they do after making sure they have their tickets for the next train, which will be leaving in half an hour, is walk around Yongsan station in a hunt for food. They end up settling for eating black bean noodles, since they are simpler and won’t take long to eat. Kihyun tries to argue when the older pays their meal himself, but drops it when the ravenette says he’s got the right to pay since he’s (1) older and (2) the one who asked Kihyun to date him.

Hyunwoo, not surprising anyone, eats his meal in record time, and has Kihyun rolling his eyes.

“Did you even taste it?” The younger teases, his own dish only half eaten. “Why do you have to eat so fast, hyung?”

“I was hungry! And that’s how I eat. I’m a good eater.” The older supplies, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah. You better be careful with being such a good eater or you might get fat.” The brunette mumbles.

Hyunwoo chuckles at the comment, but only superficially. He wishes Kihyun wouldn’t say stuff like that. The younger male doesn’t realize that some things he says while nagging are hurtful. He tries not to think about it too much. Maybe later they can talk about it.

“Okay, I’m done.” Kihyun announces, dabbing a napkin against his lips to get rid of the residue of his meal. “Let’s go? How long do we have left?”

Hyunwoo takes out his phone to check on the hour. “Fifteen minutes.” He tells the younger. “Do you wanna walk around for a bit? To stretch out our legs.”

The younger nods, standing and getting their trays to take them back to the counter. The older male gathers their luggage and waits as Kihyun thanks them for the food and turns to walk towards him. He takes hold of his backpack and grabs his suitcase before walking away alongside Hyunwoo.

“Do you wanna just head out to where we’re getting the next train?” The older questions.

“How much time do we still have?” Kihyun asks, scratching his nose. “We can walk there and stop to look into stores while we’re at it, just for the sake of it. To delay our arrival at the platform.”

The older male fishes his phone out of his pocket to see the hour. “We have fifteen minutes.” He tells the younger male as he puts the mobile away. “Why don’t we kill five minutes and then wait sitting down ‘till we’re ready to get into another train?”

The brunette nods. “Let’s buy some snacks. C’mon, I’ll lead the way since I know the place.”

They walk slowly, not at all in a hurry. They know a train can never leave the station before the time it was due to, only after. They buy snacks on the way, which include roasted seaweed and some chips, and even some candy bars. They also get water, because Kihyun knows they’ll need it.

They eventually decide to get on the train already and end their suffering. The sooner they’re settled, the sooner they’ll be able to get used to their surroundings and get less anxious. At least they hope that’ll happen.

“Are you bored too?” Hyunwoo asks five minutes after the train takes off, forehead pressed against the back of the seat in front of his.

The shorter grunts in affirmative.

“Want to play something?” Asks the ravenette, moving his head to the side, with his forehead still pressed onto the fabric of the chair, to be able to see his roommate’s face.

“What do you have in mind?” Kihyun shares an unexcited look with the older.

“I spy?” He suggests, forehead wrinkled.

The shorter chuckles, patting the other’s arm as he does. “Great idea, hyung.” He teases. “Okay, who starts?”

Hyunwoo straightens up and turns to Kihyun. They automatically go for Rock, Paper & Scissors, and Kihyun wins the first round, but loses the other two.

“I spy something purple.” Hyunwoo mumbles, resting his cheek against his fist.

“My hoodie.”

“No.”

“That lady’s shirt over there.”

“That’s lilac.”

“Lilac can pass as light purple.”

“But it isn’t lilac, it’s _purple_.”

“Fine. That suitcase right there?”

“Yeah.”

Kihyun sighs. “You didn’t even try.”

“There are not many different things in here.”

“You’re the one who suggested the game.” The brunette groans exasperated. “Let me try.” He announces, looking around. “I spy something shiny.”

“That woman’s earring?” The older suggests, indicating the woman with a nod of his head.

“Yeah.”

“Well that one was particularly hard.” Teases the taller with a smirk.

“It’s not my fault you’re only seeing details when your head it’s at the stick.” Kihyun grumbles.

“My head isn’t at the stick. You wouldn’t hurt me.”

Kihyun glares, but the mention of Hyunwoo hurting in any kind of way reminds him, like it always does at the slightest mention of it, of the day he thought the older had been in an accident and wouldn’t be coming home, and how worried he had been. So his face softens partially and he suppresses the urge to pout. “No, I wouldn’t.”

Hyunwoo seems to catch onto the newfound tension in the air and pokes the younger’s cheek. “It’s your turn, yeobo.” He says.

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Don’t call me that.” The brunette warns. “Go on.”

Hyunwoo grins. “I spy with my little eye… Something big.” He settles on after looking around.

Kihyun snorts. “My dick.”

“No.”

“Your dick.”

“Stop talking about dicks!” Hyunwoo hisses.

The younger chuckles before saying loudly, “Are you perhaps embarrassed about your _huge_ d-” He gets cut off by the older pressing his hand over his mouth and sending him the most threatening glare the brunette had ever seen on the other’s face. It’s hot.

“Behave.” The older whispers angrily.

Kihyun nods quickly, smirking under Hyunwoo’s hand. The taller pulls his hand away.

“What was it?” Kihyun asks, shit eating grin never leaving his lips.

“The train.” The older tells him.

“Your dick is bigger than the train, honey.” Jokes once again the smaller male.

“Not as big as your ego.”

“You say the sweetest things.”

Hyunwoo ignores him. Kihyun decides he doesn’t care all that much and settles for looking out of the window.

They sit there in the comfortable silence for twenty minutes, just enjoying the quiet murmur of other people’s conversation and the sound of the train on the rails. The temperature is just perfect for the to sit there with hoodies on, over sweaters, and their coats off, sitting on their laps. The moment is only over when Kihyun decides he wants to do something else and takes out his phone and headphones.

Hyunwoo notices, and chooses to imitate the younger, since they’re both not doing anything and he’s sure the younger won’t be upset if he listens to music too. He’s the one who started, after all. The first song that comes up when he puts all the tracks on random is Havana by Camila Cabello, and he just shrugs and lets it play away.

The brunette shifts his eyes away from the window and grimaces at the position he’s in. His legs are uncomfortable from being down all this time, and he glances briefly at the man beside him, questioning if he’d mind if Kihyun put his legs on his lap. Is that too intimate? Is it not? They’ve already kissed, surely it wouldn’t be crazy, out of this world or anything like that. Maybe he could explain that his legs are hurting. Maybe he could just not say anything and just do it, and Hyunwoo won’t even question it.

Oblivious to the internal banther happening inside Kihyun’s head, the taller male bops his head slightly to Big Bang’s Sober. He refrains from looking up the hour, maybe like that the time will pass faster. He feels the other moving beside him, but isn’t bothered to look.

A few songs later Mannequin by DIA starts playing, and Hyunwoo lets a small smile form in his lips before letting it go away. Kihyun notices though, and pauses Nu’est’s Love Paint to hear what’s gotten the ravenette grinning. He can hear from where he’s sitting, and the first thing he thinks is “That can’t be healthy” before he recognizes the sounds coming from the other’s earbuds.

He reaches out and pulls an earbud out. “Are you listening to DIA?” He asks.

Hyunwoo is not good at masking his ‘Deer caught in the headlights’ face. “Yeah.” He answers. “Why?”

The younger male chuckles. “Never took you for a DIA fan, that’s all.” He comments, eyebrows raised and a smile on his lips.

“It’ kind of a guilty pleasure.” The older confesses. Kihyun tilts his head to the side thoughtfully and finally decides he’s gonna throw his legs over his legs. He doesn’t care anymore, he’s too uncomfortable and he’s thought about it for a whole of fifteen minutes. He’s ready.

Thought when he does lift once again the armrest and throws his legs over to Hyunwoo’s thighs, the older barely glances down, he just lifts his arms to allow Kihyun to do it and then rests them on his legs when the younger’s settled. The brunette acts like it’s all cool, and decides he doesn’t mind if the other doesn’t either, so he just looks down at his phone and starts playing Crossy Road.

The older glances down at the shorter’s socked feet and suppresses a smile at how he unconsciously wiggles his toes.

They stay like that for about half an hour, and then both get bored doing that too. It’s a pain, honestly.

“Do you wanna play something?” Kihyun asks, head resting against the window and phone and earbuds forgotten on his lap.

“Like what?” The older question, playing with the denim of the younger’s jeans. He looks up to look him in the face.

“There’s this game me and Minhyuk always play when we’re bored or low of customers. It’s called the Yes or No game.” He starts explaining. “Basically, we ask each other yes or no questions but we can’t answer with yes or no.”

Hyunwoo is silent.

“Ask me something.” Kihyun incentives, waving his hands.

“Do you like raisins?”

“I like my fruits hydrated.”

The older starts laughing. “Okay, yeah, I wanna play this.”

Kihyun smiles. “Okay. Are you afraid of the dark?”

“I’m not afraid of anything in particular.” The older says.

“Now you ask me something.”

“Okay. Have you ever watched Boy Over Flowers?”

“That’s probably _my_ guilty pleasure.” Kihyun chuckles. “Do you have many cousins?”

“I wish I had more. Do you wear sunscreen every day?”

“Only when it’s hot.” The brunette answers. “Did you read many books this year?”

“I used to read more when I was younger.” The older stops to think of a question. “Do you like cats?”

“I love all animals.”

“What about bugs?”

“Bugs are insects.”

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes. “Go on then.”

“Have you ever wore nail polish?”

“An ex girlfriend once painted my nails.” He tells the younger. “Have you ever been to a concert?”

“When I was twenty Minhyuk, Hoseok and I went to a Big Bang concert. That was my first one.” The brunette smiles fondly at the memory. “Do you mind kissing me?” He asks.

“No.” Hyunwoo says, without missing a beat. He then realises his mistake. “Sorry, uh. I like kissing in general.” He says, and asks the first thing in his mind. “Have you ever eaten uncooked ramen?”

Kihyun laughs at that. “I think everyone has done that at some point in their life. Do you pee first thing in the morning?”

“I’ll explode if I don’t.” Hyunwoo says. “Have you ever pulled an all nighter watchig series?”

“Everyone that has ever been in college has. I’ve once spent a whole week doing that and Minhyuk had to drag me out.”

“Why did you do that?”

“That was the first time a guy had explicitly told me he didn’t want anything with me after we had sex because-” Kihyun stops for a second. “Because he said he couldn’t be gay.”

“Biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard.” The older says without realizing. “I’m sorry you had to go through that though.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to it now, and I don’t really care.”

But Hyunwoo knows he’s lying. Both of them know.

“Have you ever wished you weren’t gay?” Asks the ravenette.

“I used to ask God for it, actually. But I’ve come to terms with it. I don’t know who I’d be if I weren’t gay.” He confesses. “Have you ever had a birthday party?” He asks.

“I’m an only child.” Hyunwoo says like it’s obvious, making a face that makes the younger giggle. He smiles at him. “Do you like Pokemon?”

“I’m more of a Digimon guy.”

“I’m breaking up.”

Kihyun starts laughing hard. “Don’t kinkshame me.”

“What the fuck? You’ve got a Digimon kink?” Hyunwoo asks, laughing as well. The younger is laughing so hard he’s not even making any noise anymore, just clutching onto his stomach for dear life. “I’m not only breaking up, I’m gonna fill a restraining order.”

“I can’t breathe.” Kihyun wheezes. “Someone save me!” He cries out.

Some people actually look towards their direction, and Hyunwoo panics.

“Breathe.” He tells the younger, still smiling himself. “Calm down aein. Don’t you die on me.”

The younger manages to finally stop his laughter, but the smile stays on his face. “Okay, okay, I’m good.” He announces.

Hyunwoo slaps one of his legs playfully. “Do you wanna keep going?”

The brunette nods and takes a deep breath. “Have you ever accidently put on your shoes before your pants?”

“Probably when I was really tired.” Kihyun says. “Would you ever have sex with a guy?” He asks out of the blue, and Hyunwoo looks at him with no expression whatsoever.

“If I wanted to.” He answers. “Have you ever wondered what It would be like to be a girl?”

“Boobs look painful, but I think I’d have fun. Though, I’d miss my dick.”

“You wouldn’t know what it feels like to have one.”

“Oh, _I would know_.”

“That doesn’t even makes sense.”

“Let’s play another game.” Kihyun suggests, ignoring the older’s comment. “Do you know any?”

“Do you know the one word story game?” The ravenette asks. “We can play that.”

Kihyun smirks. “It’s gonna be ridiculous. Let’s do it.”

“Start.” The taller encourages.

“Tomorrow.” Starts the brunette.

“Mom.”

Kihyun frowns at Hyunwoo, who shrugs. “Flew.”

A giggle.

“Fast.” The older continues.

“Through.”

“The.”

“Hurricane.” Just as the words leave the taller’s lips, the smaller male falls into a fit of giggles.

“Which.” He continues despite his laughter.

“Was.”

“T-Trashy.”

“But.” Hyunwoo says, also laughing at this point.

“It.”

“Whirred.” It almost doesn’t come out of his mouth.

“Softly.” The younger says in a loud high tone.

“For.”

Kihyun doesn’t answer immediately, he’s trying to pull air back into his lungs. “God.” He says at last.

They keep playing, trying not to die out of laughter. The second phrase they come up with ends up being. ‘There are five eggplants over the couch, but Lucas tripped with a spoon right when his forehead started inconveniently to push off a bird against the banana boat.’ With Kihyun starting again. It comes to a point where they are repeating periods of the phrase and laughing at it all over again.

“You start this time.” Kihyun tells the older.

“Evacuation.”

“Oh god.” The older smiles. “Okay, uh. Supports.”

“Every.”

“Kilogram.”

“...Who.”

“Who? A kilogram is now a who, okay.” He stops to think. “Spent.”

“Lots.”

“Of.”

“I’m gonna go with ‘Providers’.”

“I’m gonna die.” Kihyun announces. “Including…”

“G-Dragon.” Hyunwoo says, smiling at how much Kihyun is laughing and how his whole face scrunches up.

“And.”

“Also.”

“Blow-blowtorches.” The shorter breathes out.

“Really.”

“Quickly.”

The end.” Hyunwoo announces. “God, that made no sense.”

“It sure didn’t.”

“Wanna go a last time?” The older suggests.

“That’s what he said.” The younger jokes. “Okay, I wanna start.”

“Go on.” The ravenette encourages.

“Ass.”

“As?”

“No, _ass_. Like... butt.”

The other frowns, but keeps going anyway.

“Soft.” He says the first thing that comes to his mind.

“ _Soft._ ” Kihyun mocks. “As.”

“Ass?”

“ _No-_ ” The brunette face palms. “God, this is a mess.”

“Okay, I get it.” Hyunwoo tells him, touching his arm and chuckling softly. “An.”

“Almond.”

“Almonds aren’t soft, Kihyun.”

“Does your mother fly?”

“Okay I’ll continue.” The older gives in. “In.”

“Vacation.”

“Leave.”

“From.”

“Helmet.”

Kihyun gives him a Look. “School.”

“Bag.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? We were going well there!” Kihyun complains. “Whatever. _And_.”

“Sorry.” The taller chuckles. “Pretzels.”

“Are.”

“Too.”

“Petty.”

“Can you imagine a petty pretzel?” Hyunwoo asks.

The brunette laughs. “I’m gonna start calling Changkyun that. Go on.”

“Instead?” He tries.

“Of.”

“Malleable.”

“Friends.”

“I’ve never had malleable friends.” Hyunwoo comments.

“Don’t look at me.” Kihyun says.

“Wagging.”

“Over.”

“The end.” He announces. “This is too weird already.”

The shorter nods in agreement.

They sit there staring at each other for a few minutes until Kihyun speaks up. “Are you also really fucking cold?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

They both put on their coats, and the younger moves his legs out of Hyunwoo’s lap to sit with them under himself, trying to protect his feet from the cold. He presses his side against the older’s and let his head fall on his shoulder. Hyunwoo answers by resting his own head on top of Kihyun’s.

“How romantic.” Kihyun jokes, tone soft.

“Very.” The older agrees.

They unintentionally fall asleep like that. Kihyun falls asleep first, cheek against Hyunwoo’s shoulder and hugging his left arm. The older notices this is a good opportunity, and takes his phone out to take a selca of themselves. He smiles lightly at the camera and makes sure to make it clear that they’re in the train and hugging each other. Almost.

Of course, this is because he wants to be the most realistic possible and be able to convince Kihyun’s parents that they actually dating.

And that’s _obviously_ the reason why he sets the picture as his phone’s home screen, cropping himself out and leaving only a cute sleeping Kihyun. It’s weird not to have the default wallpaper he’s had since he’s bought the phone, but seeing Kihyun every time he unlocks the phone is endearing.

He falls asleep not too long after.

About an hour later, they wake up. Hyunwoo wakes up first and rearranges himself on his seat. He starts listening to music again, until Kihyun wakes up ten minutes later.

“You’re gonna get a hearing problem if you don’t turn that down.” He tells Hyunwoo in a deep sleep voice.

The older mumbles something back, but pulls out his earbuds.

They sit in silence for not too long. They’ll be arriving at Gwangju station in a little over an hour, so they kill time by talking.

The conversation is a lot easier than it was before. They talk about family, talk about work. They share their distaste for impolite customers and tell each other about the worst experience they’ve had at work.

Kihyun had a freezing americano thrown at his face by an angry teenager and Hyunwoo had one of the heaviest books fall on him, actually having him needing to be taken to the hospital.

Kihyun hands that one to the older.

The brunette talks about the dogs he used to have before moving to Seoul and how they’d died to years after he left. Hyunwoo tells him about his longest lasting relationship that ended because the girl had to move away for college. They talk about college.

Kihyun talks about his bad experiences with guys and how he even considered dating girls at a point when he thought he’d never get anyone, and how he’s thankful both Hoseok and Minhyuk pulled him out of it.

“‘We’ll marry you if you end up alone.’ They said. ‘We’ll be in a three people relationship and it’ll be amazing and you’ll have sex with two hot guys so that’s the best plan B you could ask for.’ And god, it was ridiculous but the idea of not being alone had me agreeing with them.” Kihyun recalls with a sad and nostalgic smile.

“They’re good friends.” Hyunwoo comments.

“They’re the best. I love them.” He sighs. “And now I have Changkyun and Jooheon too.”

“Hey, you have me too. I’m your boyfriend now, remember?” Hyunwoo nudges him.

Kihyun shoots him the same sad smile. “But it’s gonna be over in a week. And we don’t even like each other.”

“Still.” Hyunwoo insists. “I’m your friend too. This thing is bringing us closer together and I genuinely like you as a person. You can count on me.”

Kihyun presses his forehead to the older’s shoulder to hide his face. God forbid he tears up in front of Hyunwoo. “Same for you.” He says.

“I think...” The older starts. Kihyun perks up at that, and lifts his head to look at him questioningly. “I think if I were into guys. You’d be my type.” He says, then chuckles awkwardly. “I don’t know why I’m saying that.”

“I don’t know why you’re saying that either. But it’s nice to know.” Kihyun smiles in a way that makes his eyes smile too. Then he goes back to a small lipped smile and says “You’re definitely my type though. If you were into guys, and we weren’t friends already, I’d be all over you.” He confesses with a laugh.

“Good.”

“What? Why good?” Asks the younger in confusion.

“We’re dating. We should at least be into each other.” The ravenette says with a silly face, using a _it’s obvious_ tone.

Kihyun pauses. “You’re ridiculous.” He nods.

Their conversation dies down when the food cart passes over them and they get some simple ramen noodles to eat.

“I’m gonna open the roasted seaweed we bought.” Kihyun says.

Hyunwoo nods with his mouth full of pasta. “That’s a great idea.”

Time passes. And soon, around 7PM, they arrive in Gwangju.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my friend AllBnior who helped with the questions for the Yes or No game and who played the One Word Story game with me so it would be weird and realistic enough. You're always my lifesaver <3  
> Leave a comment telling me your opinions, please? What you like or don't like, what you're excited about? Feedback is my fuel.  
> The other "to be revealed couple" will be revealed in the next chapter. And it get's a lot more gay from there vrwcuebqnj
> 
> Hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) if needed!  
> And here's my [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) if you wanna know about updates, send me stuff or whatever. Anything you need to know I'll try to answer! (Unless it's a spoiler lmao.) Don't worry, I'm nice c:


	5. Dramarama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naomi, this is for you that bothered me for days asking for spoilers. Here is the fucking chapter.  
> -  
> GUYS  
> THIS CHAPTER IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LMAO (over 10k)  
> What do you guys think of the longer chapters? Would you rather read smaller ones?? Let me know!  
> Also, Kihyun's sister in law's name is Tsuna (つな in hiragana), in the fanfic, at least, and in korean they adaptated it to Soona (수나)  
> I don't know his family's name, I made them all up  
> !!No offense to stoners!!

 

 

> Don’t act like a fool  
>  You make me wanna protect you  
>  Even if tragedies taint you  
>  I’ll help you overcome

 

“Your parents are coming to pick us up, right?” Hyunwoo asks Kihyun as they’re walking away from the platform.

“Mhm.” Hums the younger, looking out for any sight of his family. He looks tired, the older notices. Like he hasn’t slept at all. In all sincerity, he looks as tired as Hyunwoo feels. “From now we gotta act like we’re actually dating, okay?” He tells him without even looking in his direction.

“I won’t disappoint you.” Hyunwoo mumbles emotionless, standing still as the younger paces around. “In a scale of one to ten, how much do you miss them?” He asks, watching as Kihyun looks around like a lost puppy, or a kid who’s just lost their mom in a convenience store.

“Twelve.” Answers the brunette with a small smile. “I miss my nephew the most though. I hope they bring him.”

“You don’t see him often.” The taller comments. It’s an affirmative. Hyunwoo knows the kid lives in Japan with Kihyun’s older brother and sister-in-law. “Are you close?”

The younger chuckles. “He can barely remember who I am. I have to introduce myself every time. I hope he does remember uncle Kihyun though, it’s tiring to win a kid’s heart over and over again.”

Hyunwoo chuckles and shakes his head at the mental image of a frustrated Kihyun over his baby nephew refusing to interact with him.

“Kihyunie!” A female voice calls from somewhere around them, and both males turn to find exactly who they were expecting to see. Kihyun’s mom is short, a lot shorter than he is, and his dad is taller than the brunette, but shorter than Hyunwoo. He’s probably around Minhyuk’s height. “My baby!” She cries as she comes over to them in quick short steps, reminding the ravenette of Edna Mode. “How have you been? I missed you so much!” She hugs him tightly, and it looks painful, but the younger male doesn’t even flinch as he hugs her back.

“I missed you even more, eomma.” He says with the brightest smile. They pull apart and she cups his face with a fond smile, scanning his face with her quick eyes.

Both Hyunwoo and Mr. Yoo have assumed an upright and silent position. Stoic, as his friends like to call it.

“You’re so skinny, dear. Have you been doing one of those ridiculous diets again?” She reprimands. Kihyun looks down in embarrassment.

“I gave up on it a month ago.” He tells her. Hyunwoo grimaces at the memory of it.

“Hyunwoo!” She says out of the blue, reaching out for him with her two hands and taking his bigger ones in hers.

“Hello, eomani.” He smiles, bowing as low as he can with his arms raised.

“You’re much taller than I thought you were going to be.” She comments. “Have you not been taking care of my son?” Mrs. Park  squints her eyes at him.

“I-I have! But you know how he is.” He sighs, sharing a look with Kihyun as he says the next words. “He never listens to me.”

Both of them know it’s true.

Actually. The four of them do.

Nonetheless, Kihyun’s mother sighs and shakes her head. “Well… I know you might have tried your hardest.” She then smiles. “I’m very glad you came along.”

The hug is quite unexpected, but the taller male hugs the tiny woman back anyway, a soft smile on his lips.

“I’m glad to have been invited.” He says back. He can see Kihyun share an awkward quick hug with his dad, but the man seems to be happy to see his son too, even if not so loud about it. When Mrs. Park pulls back, she exclaims her son’s name, which brings the attention of the three of them back to her.

“What?” The brunette questions with wide eyes, trying to see what’s wrong.

“He’s got a great physique. I’m glad for you.” She says to Kihyun with a smile that makes her eyes disappear, patting Hyunwoo’s left bicep. Kihyun pinches the bridge of his nose with a groan. “Are you both used to each other already? Are you okay with staying at the cottage?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Kihyun already farts in front of me.” Hyunwoo says.

“Oh my god!” The younger shouts. He starts walking away. “This is it, we’re done. I’m breaking up and I never wanna see you again.” He announces as his father chuckles and his mother looks horrified.

“Come back here.” Hyunwoo laughs, going for the younger and pulling him back.

“Don’t touch me, I hate you.” Mumbles the brunette.

He’s pouting like a kid again.

“Yeobo, we should go, the boys must be tired from the trip.” It’s the first thing Hyunwoo hears Mr. Yoo say since they arrived.

“Right, of course. I apologize for my lack of tact.” She smiles again. Then she reaches out for one of the wheeled suitcases her son has brought and takes a step forward. “Let’s go home.” She announces, leading the way. They follow her without another word.

“It’s nice to meet you, Hyunwoo.” Mr. Yoo says politely, low enough that only the taller will hear, but Kihyun, who’s only a few steps ahead of the two of them, catches it anyway.

“Nice to meet you too, sir.” The ravenette replies. He figures calling him shi-abeoji might be pushing it.

The walk to the car is silent on their behalf. The moment is filled mostly by Kihyun’s mother, with the brunette adding something here and there or answering her questions. Hyunwoo only ever speaks up when she directly speaks to him.

The car trip is a lot quieter. Kihyun is practically asleep in the backseat, and the taller would probably be too if he wasn’t aware of his shi-eomani glancing towards him now and again through the rearview mirror.

“We’re here.” The older shakes the younger male lightly to wake him up. Kihyun looks around confused, and locks eyes with Hyunwoo before understanding flashes across his face and he nods with droopy eyes.

When they all get out of the car, the shorter speaks up. “Mom, did you bring us home? Aren’t we staying in the cottage?” He asks.

“You are, but I thought you’d like to see your brother first.” She explains, walking towards the house.

Hyunwoo follows Kihyun like a puppy, not sure what to do or say. They walk inside, leaving the bags in the car since they’re still going to the cottage later. The atmosphere is comfortable and it feels like home, even though Hyunwoo knows it’s not _his_ home.

They’re hanging their coats and taking off their shoes when a man not much older than Hyunwoo comes to greet them, and he just knows this has to be Wonhyun, Kihyun’s older brother. He’s probably be the same height as his father.

“Hyung.” The sleepy brunette greets with a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good.” His brother smiles. He notices Hyunwoo and bows to him. The taller reciprocates with a kind smile. So he’s been told about Hyunwoo coming, after all. “Come see Dohyun. He’s playing in the room with Soona.” He motions for them to follow.

Kihyun seems to wake up at that, excited beyond compare to see his baby nephew. The taller isn’t sure if he should come or let them go alone, but the brunette turns to him with a smile and motions for him to come along.

They enter the room and find Dohyun playing with his mother on their bed, toys scattered on the mattress and Soona sitting cross legged in front of her son. She smiles at her arrival, and the ravenette immediately decides he likes her. She’s pretty, and he notices right away she doesn’t look korean.

“Kihyun-ah! I’m so glad to see you.” She exclaims. She’s got a mixture of japanese accent and Jeolla-do dialect in her speech.

“Noona, I’ve missed you.” He hugs her, sitting next to her on the bed. “That’s my boyfriend Hyunwoo.” He motions towards the taller.

“It’s nice to meet you, Hyunwoo-ssi.” She smiles at him and bows her head.

“You too.” He smiles back.

“My little baby is so grown up.” Kihyun pouts at the chubby kid in front of him. “I wanna put him in my pocket.”

“This time he’ll know who you are. We’ve been trying to get him to remember you and mom and dad since last time.” Wonhyun tells him.

The brunette’s smile is even brighter. He hopes it’s worked. “Hi baby.” He says quietly to the boy, taking his chubby baby hand in his chubby adult hand. “It’s uncle Kihyun.”

At first, Dohyun doesn’t react, but after a few seconds he shows a gummy smile and slaps his hand on Kihyun’s face.

“Thanks.” The brunette says in a muffled voice. Hyunwoo suppresses his laughter.

“Dohyun-kun, you can’t do that. You know you can't.” His mother reprimands with a fond smile. The ravenette recognizes the japanese honorific.

Kihyun reaches out to take the baby in his lap, and the kid doesn’t fight back as he does. It’s clear to anyone in the room how happy the brunette is. He kisses the baby’s little fist and then the crown of his head. “I missed you.” He smiles widens.

It’s all fine and dandy until Soona turns to Hyunwoo. “Do you wanna hold him?”

The taller raises his hands and shakes his head. “I’m not used to kids around me.” He confesses.

“It’s not that hard. You can try carrying him.” Wonhyun offers.

“I-”

“Maybe tomorrow when we’re fully functioning.” Kihyun comes to the rescue. “We’re tired from the trip and all, and I know my aein very well to know it’s not a good idea to hand him Dohyunie yet.”

They hums in acknowledgment and the brunette hands the baby to his sister-in-law. “You’re going to the cottage?” She asks.

Kihyun nods, standing up.

“Fine then.” She smiles again. “Hoseokie-kun is there waiting for you with-”

She’s cut off by a loud and exaggerated cough coming from Wonhyun. They all turn to him, even Dohyun;

“With great enthusiasm.” He adds with a smile.

Even Hyunwoo knows there’s something they’re not telling, but apparently the both of them are too tired to press on it. “See you later. Probably tomorrow.” The younger says.

“You’re not having dinner?” Wonhyun asks as they walk out of the bedroom.

“I’d love to, but I don’t think my body can handle not being asleep right now.” The brunette explains.

“You can’t go without eating. You’ve only had train food all day.” Their mom intervenes, walking in.

“We had black bean noodles at Yongsan Station.” Kihyun tells her.

“But that was _hours_ ago!” She snaps back.

“Eomma. I can make food at the cottage.”

“You can barely stand straight, Yoo Kihyun.”

“I’ll make him food, eomani.” Hyunwoo intervenes. “I’m feeling okay. I’ll make him food when we get there.”

Kihyun groans and smushes his face against the older’s shoulder.

“Take some food with you. It’s simpler.” Mr. Yoo tells him, apparently coming out of nowhere. “Won-ah can you put the leftovers in a container for them?” He asks his older son.

Wonhyun nods and walks out of the living room to go into the kitchen.

“As long as you eat something.” Mrs. Park sighs, following Wonhyun. Kihyun’s dad shrugs at them and walks upstairs, where Hyunwoo deduces is his and his wife’s bedroom.

Kihyun falls to the couch. “I wanna _go._ ” He complains.

“To the bathroom?” Jokes the older. He stops smiling when the younger glares at him. “Sorry.”

“I miss Hoseok so much.” Kihyun whines. “And I’m gonna see him. I’m so goddamn happy.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.” Hyunwoo chuckles.

“Are you happy, though?” He asks. His pretty fox eyes widen.

The older frowns. “I am.” He answers.

“Hm. Okay then.”

Wonhyun and their mother walk in not long later and give them the containers with the leftovers for them to heat.

“I’ll drive you guys there.” Wonhyun offers, grabbing his parent’s car keys.

“Thank you.” Hyunwoo smiles at him before practically dragging Kihyun along with him into the car. “Kihyun-ah, use your legs.” He complains. “I’m gonna let you fall.”

“But I’m _so_ tired.” He dramatically proclaims. “Don’t let me fall, my love, _please_.”

“Jesus Christ.” Hyunwoo murmurs.

He’s finally able to shove Kihyun inside the car, and figures he deserves to seat on the back after his little show.

When they arrive at the cottage two minutes later, Wonhyun helps them with the baggage before leaving back to the house.

The place is cute. It’s sized like a medium sized house, but it looks more rustic. There are trees and plants all around, but they’re not exactly inside a forest or anything like that.

They walk in, carrying all their luggage when someone walks into the living room.

“Kihyunie.” The man says, and Hyunwoo looks up to find a very handsome man with light blonde hair and a kid-like smile that doesn’t quite fit the rest of him, and at the same time fits perfectly.

“Hyung!” The younger smiles at the other man. Then the man Hyunwoo assumes is Hoseok finally notices him.

“Who’s that?” He asks the younger, smile wavering.

Kihyun all but freezes in the spot.

“I’m his boyfriend. My name is Son Hyunwoo, hi.” He steps in and offers a hand, which Hoseok takes with a baffled expression.

“You’re dating?” He asks Kihyun. “How long? Wait, is this the same Hyunwoo you’ve been living with?”

Hyunwoo can see from where he’s standing the way the brunette swallows.

“Yes. Three months in two days. And yes.” He answers, and finally turns to look Hoseok in the eye. “I wanted to tell you, but I was scared of jinxing it if I did. Not even my mom knew!”

Hoseok frowns. “So that’s why you moved in with him?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head.

“We started dating two weeks after he moved in. We didn’t know each other before that.” The younger explains.

“That’s brave of you, dating your roommate knowing that might not work.” The blond raises his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Kihyun says again.

Though, Hyunwoo notices Hoseok doesn’t seem upset. He looks rather relieved.

“I’m glad you haven’t told me, actually.” He says.

“Excuse me, what?” Kihyun asks, eyebrow raised and facial expression that could probably turn a person into stone.

“I have something to tell you, and I hope you’ll be as happy for me as I am for you.” Hoseok starts. “And not mad at all.”

“Hyung, what the hell are you talking about?”

That’s about the exact moment a guy walks out of the same room Hoseok did. He’s tall and lanky, and as handsome, if not more, as Hoseok is. He could be a model if he isn’t already. _This one_ is definitely taller than him.

“Who’s that?” Kihyun asks mechanically, pointing at the man with dark brown hair.

“Kihyunie, this is Hyungwon.” Hoseok says slowly. The man who’s called Hyungwon shows them a shy smile. “He’s my boyfriend.”

There’s a silence, and then Hyunwoo is moving faster than the speed of sound to stop Kihyun from hitting the floor.

“You okay?” He asks the brunette, but is ignored.

“Your _boyfriend?_ ” Kihyun asks in indignation. “You’re dating a guy?” He frees himself from the taller’s hands as he steps towards his best friend.

“Uh, yeah.” The blond nods, seemingly embarrassed.

“You’ve been straight your whole life and then all of sudden you bring me a boyfriend?”

Hyunwoo can’t stop but think about the irony of the moment.

“I can explain. Please.” Hoseok tries, getting closer to Kihyun. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if it was gonna work. I didn’t know if we were going to last and I didn’t want to have you worry about me like I know you would have.”

Kihyun rubs his forehead.

“I’m sorry Kihyun-ah.”

“Since when?” The brunette asks.

“We’ve been officially together for a little over a month.” The blond tells him.

“And before that?”

“About three or four months.” This time is Hyungwon who answers. His voice deeper than expected.

The brunette seems hesitant to voice his thoughts.

“Is this why you didn’t move to Seoul?” Kihyun asks.

Hyunwoo feels like he should be stopping the younger from falling again, even though he’s standing firmly.

Hoseok nods.

Kihyun takes his eyes away from him and looks down instead. He takes Hyunwoo’s hand in his.

“I’m tired, I’m going to bed.” He tells them. “I don’t want anyone going into my room.” He says before dropping the older’s hand and walking away. Then he pauses and adds “Except for Hyunwoo.” without looking back.

Hoseok is left looking defeated.

Hyunwoo bows slightly to Hyungwon as he passes by him and the guy smiles back. He takes the bags all by himself and carry them into the place Kihyun has walked into just the minute before.

“Sorry for that.” The younger says as he walks in. “I didn’t plan to make a scene.”

The older sits behind him on the bed, facing his back.

“It’s a lot to process, I imagine.” The ravenette comments, bringing his hand to Kihyun’s shoulder to squeeze it in a reassuring manner. “You don’t have to apologize, though.”

“I got so mad I didn’t even hug him.” He sighs. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

Hyunwoo shifts closer to Kihyun and pokes his side so he’ll get the message and turn to him.

“What’s the actual reason you’re upset?” He asks when the brunette is facing him, but not exactly looking at him.

“I’m both angry and happy for Hoseok.” His voice is small. “I’m mad that he didn’t tell me. And I’m mad he just admitted he stood me up in Seoul because he was fucking a guy he wasn’t sure he liked.”

The older can’t relate to the feeling, but he doesn’t judge Kihyun when he notices his eyes are watering.

“At the same time I’m happy it worked out after all. And that he likes this guy enough to bring him here.”

“Are you gonna talk to him?” Hyunwoo asks. Kihyun nods, then sighs loudly, shoulders moving. “We should eat something first. I can heat the food your parents sent and bring it here if you don’t wanna go outside yet.”

The brunette nods.

He looks so upset Hyunwoo’s brain activates protective mode, and he has to fight back to refrain from want to hold the younger male like he’s a baby Dohyun’s age.

“I think I’m jealous, above all.” Whispers the brunette, his tone so low it sounds like he’s afraid to admit it. Maybe he is. “I’m so jealous.” He says with a bitter laugh, and sniffles right after.

“What?” The ravenette tries to speak with the quietest voice he’s able to make.

“I’ve been alone all my life. I’ve come out of the closet a long time ago, and I’ve been alone all this time.” His voice wavers the more he cries. “Hoseok finds a guy he likes and gets into a relationship just like that, and he thought he was straight all this time.” He explains. It comes to a point where it becomes difficult to understand because of his hiccups. “I love him, and I’m glad he’s happy. I hope he stays like that, but…” He stops his explanations to try to catch his breath, but he’s heaving and sobbing, and can’t seem to stop. His face contorted like he’s in pain. “I- I can’t help but think it’s me. The problem is _me_. I’m the one who’s supposed to be alone. There’s something wrong with me that makes people not want to be with me and I’m going to be alone all my life watching everyone around me being happy and…” He sobs loudly, and Hyunwoo is sure both Hyungwon and Hoseok can hear if they’re still in the living room. “The only person I’m ever gonna date is my straight roommate who’s only dating me because he pities me.” He says, loud once again, not being able to control the volume of his sobs anymore.

“Hey, hey.” The older says, almost desperate. No. _Completely_ desperate. “Please don’t do that. Please don’t.” He says. His voice wavers. “That’s not true, Kihyun. Don’t say that.”

“It _is_ true!” The brunette shouts, standing up. “It is fucking true! Can’t you see it? I should’ve come alone. I should’ve accepted whatever asshole my mom found me and and I should have stayed with him. At least I wouldn’t be alone!” He cries. Everything is escalating too quickly. “That if he didn’t bail out after fucking me too.”

Hyunwoo breaks before he can stop himself, and stands to pull Kihyun to him. He’s not one for affection. He’s never been, but there are always exceptions. And in this specific case, seeing someone you care about deem himself worthless and unlovable is enough.

“Don’t.” Kihyun pleads, but he accepts the embrace, his side against the older’s front, face in his hands, sobbing quietly. “I’m tired.”

“You’re tired, you’ll be fine.” He whispers into Kihyun’s hair. He pulls the younger in, and he hides his face in the crook of Hyunwoo’s neck, arms around himself protectively. “You need to rest.” He tells him. They’re not pulling apart from each other yet. “Take a hot shower and I’ll heat up the food and be right back, okay?” He feels the brunette nodding against his chest. “Okay.” He says then, and finally lets go.

Kihyun moves away and wipes his eyes and cheeks, then wipes his hands on his hoodie. He’s avoiding the taller’s eyes, and Hyunwoo knows, but doesn’t mind.

The younger goes through his suitcase and pulls out clothes, then grabs his toiletries and opens the closet to take out a towel. “I won’t take long.” He tells the older.

Hyunwoo walks alongside him as they leave the bedroom. No one at sight in the house. The taller goes to the kitchen and Kihyun enters the bathroom localized right in front of the bedroom. The ravenette takes a container and puts it inside the microwave to heat, and then turns around to see Hyungwon just arrived in there.

“Oh, hi.” The older awkwardly waves.

“Hey. Nice to meet you.” He smiles. “You’re Hyunwoo-ssi, right? That’s your name?”

The older nods. Hyungwon grabs a glass and goes to the fridge to pour himself some water as the other watches. The microwave beeps to call his attention and he takes out the container inside to put in the other one.

“Can I ask you something?” Hyungwon says all of sudden. The ravenette turns to him, a little jolted, and nods. “Right after that… Um, that moment, that happened. Hoseok left to our bedroom.” Hyunwoo asks himself what does that have to do with him. “But I stayed in the living room. You guys left a bag outside, by the way.” He says, pointing at a backpack thrown on the couch, which is, in fact, Hyunwoo’s.

The microwave beeps again and he takes the other container out. The other opens a cupboard and hands him two plates and moves to take some chopsticks and spoons to give him too. “So what’s up with that?” Asks the older.

“I heard you guys talking.” He reveals. The ravenette looks up at his face. Hyungwon isn’t actually taller than him. They seem to be the same height. “I didn’t mean to, but I did.”

“What did you hear?” The older starts getting defensive against his own will, trying to save their plan that had taken so long to get used to and to get ready for. This can’t be happening. It can be ruined just like that. “Did you tell Hoseok?”

Hyungwon shakes his head. He tilts his head. “You two aren’t dating for real. It’s all an act.” He affirms.

“It’s for a good reason.”

“It’s okay.” The mocha brown haired male shakes his head. “I heard him crying.” He confesses, looking down at the empty glass on the counter. He frowns. “I’m sorry he got so upset. I wish he’d hear Hoseok out. But I get it. He has the right to be hurt.”

“You should tell him that.” The older comments. “Where’s Hoseok right now?”

“He’s in the room. We’re watching a drama and I said I was going to grab something to eat. I’m going back in there to find him bawling his eyes out in a minute. He cries very easily watching dramas.” Hyungwon chuckles, but has a fond look in his eyes. “Anyways. I intend to talk to him, but I figured I should give him some space.” He shrugs. “And I get it.”

“Get what?”

“That you’re doing this for him.”

“Yeah. Hoseok can’t know though. Kihyun said he’s a bad liar.”

“Oh I know.” Hyungwon laughs at what’s apparently an inside joke. “I won’t tell Hoseok.”

“How did you figure out? Kihyun could just be saying stuff because he was upset, you know?” The ravenette questions. “How did you know we aren’t together for real?”

“You guys act like you’re stranges skinny loving around, not boyfriends. Hoseok isn’t as perceptive and I’ll mislead him.” He explains. “I’m an actor. I know when other people are acting. You’re not dating.”

“Wrong. We _are_ dating. We’re just not together.” Kihyun says from behind them. The two tall man turn to him, startled. “I heard you guys talking.” He explains. Then looks away. “Hi Hyungwon-ssi. It’s nice to meet you.” He bows slightly. He looks like he’s just got out of the shower. Hair damp and a new hoodie, this time black, with sweatpants and socks on. “I’m sorry for what you had to see earlier. I don’t dislike you and I’m happy you’re making my hyung happy.” He says politely. “But I’m not ready to talk yet, so I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, hyungnim.” Hyungwon bows back.

“I’m coming with the food.” Hyunwoo tells him before turning to the other again. “You should go back to Hoseok. And remember it’s a secret.”

The brown haired male nods. “Of course.” Then walks away.

Hyunwoo takes the plates and starts walking back to the bedroom. Hyungwon called Kihyun _hyungnim,_ which means he’s younger than the both of them. He doesn’t look like it though.

He pushes the door open with his shoulder.

“You befriended the enemy!” Kihyun complains as soon as he walks in.

“And you _lied_ to the ‘enemy’.” The older shoots back. “You just said you didn’t dislike him.”

“I don’t. I was messing with you.” The brunette explains. “Don’t talk to him while I’m not around though.” He’s sitting on the bed with the covers around his waist. Hyunwoo hands him his plate and he grins at him. “Thank you for the food.”

“Your mom made it. I’m just bringing it to you.” He rolls his eyes and sits on the edge of the bed.

They eat silently. Kihyun finishes his plate quicker than usual, even though he wasn’t in the mood for dinner.

“Are you going to bed now?” Asks the ravenette when he’s back in the bedroom from the kitchen, where he went to leave the dirty dishes in the sink, and Kihyun is once again lying down.

“Yeah, I just brushed my teeth. I’m feeling exhausted.” He sighs, letting his head fall back on the pillow. “Are you coming to bed too?”

“What?”

“What, did you think we were sleeping in separate beds? Are you or not?”

“Oh.” Hyunwoo starts laughing. “Sorry, you asked if I was coming to bed and I heard it the wrong way.”

The older keeps laughing as Kihyun glares.

“Thanks. You haven’t made it weird at all now.” He says sarcastically. “Well, are you?”

The taller nods. He turns off the light and leaves just the lamp on. “But I’m not gonna fall asleep right away.” He says. So he grabs his phone and sits next to where the younger is sleeping, on what is apparently gonna be his side of the bed, and rests his back against the wall.

“Did you like Hoseok?” Kihyun asks, arm thrown over his eyes.

“He seems nice.” Hyunwoo comments. “Is everyone you know fit to be a model, though?”

The brunette hums in inquiry.

“Back home there’s Minhyuk and Changkyun putting everyone to shame and here there’s Hoseok and Hyungwon. Who’s gonna be the next person I’ll meet? Park Hyungsik?”

The younger chuckles and says “Now you know how I feel around you guys.”

“How _you_ feel? What about how _I_ feel? I live with you.” Hyunwoo interjects. “And you’re handsome.”

“I’m handsome, okay. But not nearly as good-looking as any of them.” Kihyun says softly, taking his arm away from his eyes and looking up at the older with a tired smile. “You forgot I have to live with you, who looks like a runaway model.”

“I’m not good-looking.”

“I don’t care what you think. You’re very good-looking. You’re _too_ good-looking.” The brunette says.

“You too, dumbass.” He laughs at him. “I think you’re even more handsome than Minhyuk, even if he’s very good-looking.”

“Be careful with your words.” The younger jokes, laughing softly. “I might like them.” His eyes are droopy and he’s smiling like a stoner.

“Go to sleep.”

Kihyun hums once again and stays quiet. The older assumes he’s asleep, so he’s surprised when he hears the younger’s voice small.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier.” He says, eyes already closed. Maybe he’s sleep talking.

Hyunwoo pets his hair, and Kihyun sighs involuntarily. “I don’t pity you, jagiya.” He says with an uncomfortable smile. How can you smile genuinely saying something like that? You shouldn’t have to prove that to anyone.

He nods, then falls into deep slumber in the seconds that follow.

Hyunwoo is tired. So tired. The sudden breakdown and then acting like nothing happened, consecutively, are too much altogether. He lets his head fall back against the wall and sighs. Maybe he can sleep right away after all. And this is gonna be, for sure, a experience to get used to. He hasn’t slept on the same bed with someone he wasn’t fucking in a very long time.

Nonetheless, he puts his phone away and lies down next to the smaller body, pulling the blankets up to conceal the cold that gets worse the further the hours pass by. He closes his eyes and waits for slumber to take him over.

Some time later, something has Kihyun waking up in a jolt. He doesn’t know exactly what’s happening. He feels a body next to his and knows that’s not something that happens. Whenever he hooks up either he or the guy leave right after, and he hasn’t met with anyone in months.

Then he realizes it’s just Hyunwoo, and remembers he’s not home, and that this is his fake-but-they’re-dating-for-real boyfriend lying next to him. What a day.

He sits up and looks around. The room is dark, the only light in the room comes from the window, which they forgot with the curtains pushed open. It’s a nice view, the rectangle of light illuminating their legs with the light from the lamppost outside. Poetic, very poetic.

Kihyun crawls out of bed, since he’s stuck between Hyunwoo and the wall, and immediately regrets it. It’s cold even though the heater is on, and he can’t even walk around wrapped in the duvet, because his is being shared with the older male. Accepting his doom, the brunette walks out of the bedroom.

What he doesn’t remember, of course, it’s that he’s supposed to be mad at Hoseok. So when he walks into the living room and sees the older with his boyfriend sitting next to him and another man, he doesn’t know exactly what to feel.

“Um… Hi?” He waves awkwardly.

They all look up at him, and the unknown guy turns around to look at him. Oh.

“Joshua.” He smiles, walking closer to the smiling male who’s also standing up. “Oh my god, it’s you!” He exclaims brightly, opening his arms to hug the slightly taller male. “I can’t believe it.”

“Hyung, it’s good to see you.” The younger hugs back tightly.

“How long has it been?” Asks the brunette, pulling away. “What you even doing here at this hour?” He’s smiling too wide for it to sound like a scolding.

“I heard you were here and I had to come see you.” The younger smiles. Kihyun remembered him being handsome, but the boy has sure outdone himself in these past years they’ve been away. “Your mom mentioned it and I wasn’t sure I should come, but-”

“ _Of course_ you should!” He waves his hand dismissively. “I’m so glad to see my dongsaeng. You look so good.”

“You look even better.” The younger says politely. “Any news?”

“Not really.” Kihyun shrugs. “I still work with Minhyuk at our coffee shop. That’s basically all.”

“Living alone?”

“Ah, no, actually. I live with my roommate Hyunwoo.”

“Good! Glad to know you’re not lonely in such a big city like Seoul.” Joshua shows his beautiful smile once more.

“I’m glad about it too.” Kihyun jokes. Then he yawns against his own will, and tries to hide it with his hand, but Joshua sees it anyways.

“I’m sorry, you must be tired. I should get going.” He says.

“Are you coming back tomorrow? Please?” Kihyun asks, a genuine grin on his lips.

The younger nods. “I’ll be here.”

They hug again.

“I missed you a lot, hyung.” Confesses the taller.

“I missed you too, Shua.” Says the older with a feeling of nostalgia.

He walks him to the door and helps him put his coat on.

“You’re walking home this late?” Kihyun asks as the other is putting on his shoes.

“I came in my parent’s car.” The younger explains, standing up. “I’ll go now.” He announces.

“Take care.” Kihyun says, then stands behind Joshua as he opens the door.

“Oh my god.” The taller exclaims lowly.

“What?” Kihyun asks, looking over his shoulder. “ _Oh my god!”_

“What happened?” Hoseok asks, he and Hyungwon having been long forgotten by the other two.

“It’s snowing.” Joshua tells him, a soft smile on his face. “Anyways. I’ll leave. Stay away from the outside if you’re wearing those clothes, okay?” He says to Kihyun. “Bye.”

Then he closes the door and leaves.

Hoseok whistles. “Cute.” He chuckles. “Why didn’t you tell him Hyunwoo is your boyfriend?” He asks.

Kihyun wakes up from his happy dazed style to look at him. “What?”

“You didn’t tell him Hyunwoo is your boyfriend. You said ‘roommate’.” The older explains.

Kihyun isn’t looking at him when he answers, but at the door of the bedroom. “I got used to lying about those things.” He says bitterly, mostly because he’s still upset. “It just came out.”

Hoseok sighs and shares a look with Hyungwon. The taller nods and squeezes his hand before standing up and walking to the bedroom.

“We need to talk.” He asks more than he affirms. “Please, hear what I have to say?”

Kihyun sighs and closes his eyes. He’s upset, but the blond male has been by his side all his life. If he hurt him then he should at least have a good reason for that.

“Okay.” He says quietly, going to the older and sitting next to him.”Go on.”

“Four months ago I met a girl.” He goes straight to the point. Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “I watched a play and she was the antagonist. It was endearment at first sight. I wanted to talk to her, but whenever the play was over, she vanished.”

“Did you fall in love with the phantom of the opera or something?”

“Believe me, I thought I had.” The older widens his eyes at how stupid his own story is. “I asked around for her, but I didn’t know her name. I kept looking for her, but she wasn’t in the poster with the names of the rest of the cast and no one knew who the hell Dodo was. I spent a whole month looking for her. Everyone thought I was crazy. _I_ thought I was crazy.”

“I don’t judge them for it.” Says the brunette sarcastically.

“Then, through a friend who knew someone in the cast, I found a way to get a pass to the backstage. And I saw her for the first time up close. She was something… So beautiful and tall, just like a true model.” He sighs with a smile. “Then she walked into a dressing room, and Hyungwon walked out half an hour later.”

“She was fucking Hyungwon?” Kihyun frowns.

Hoseok laughs loudly. “No. She was Hyungwon.”

The younger is at a loss of words.

“Hyungwon is an actor. He was playing her character in the play.” He explains. “You should have seen my face when I realized I was practically in love with a guy.” The blond shivers at the memory. “I kept trying to push him out of my thoughts. But I couldn’t. So I talked to him. I explained everything because it was eating me alive and he…”

“What? What did he do?”

“He asked me out.” Hoseok says simply, completely serious. “He said I didn’t need to worry too much about it, and that we could just try it out. But one week in and I already felt something else.” Kihyun frowns at how his expression looks painful. “I felt for him something I never felt before in any other relationship I’ve been. Something so strong that a month in, I couldn’t bear the idea of being away.” He explains. “I didn’t tell you or Minhyukie because I didn’t want to worry you and I didn’t want you to think I was brushing you off because of a hook up. I needed to know I loved him to have the guts to tell you that I left you there because I had finally found him. He’s the one I’ve been waiting for.”

“You’re so stupid.” Kihyun sighs. “We would’ve always supported you.”

“I was scared. I didn’t know what was happening. Everything was too intense and I just didn’t know what to do, how to act, how to feel.” You can hear the confusion the older had been through in his tone, and Kihyun feels it as if it was himself.

“Hyung.” The brunette whispers, and pulls the older into his arms. “My god, hyung. You went through that alone?” He says, hurting, Hoseok hugging him back tightly.

Kihyun himself knows what is like to find out you’re different. That who you are is what people call wrong and weird, and that you’re not allowed to live happily in any way. As if it wasn’t scary enough to know you like boys when you’re a boy. But when that all happened, he had Hoseok and Minhyuk by his side. Hoseok was alone in this. Because he was scared and thought he was wrong. He’d been alone.

“There’s no such a thing as being too old or too young.” He tells the blond who cries quietly, starting to tear up as well. “You could’ve figured out you like dick when you were seventy and it would still be valid, and we wouldn’t have cared. We love you.”

Hoseok nods. The younger frowns. His heart feels heavy, like he’s guilty of something. He’s crying silently, hugging his best friend tight. What will Minhyuk say? He’s probably gonna come over to slap the older in person and then hug him so tight he’s probably gonna choke him.

“Are you okay, though? Are you okay now?” He asks, parting away to look the blond in the eyes. “Please tell me.”

“I am.” He nods. “Hyungwon took care of me.” He chuckles. “He helped me, untangled the mess I was and stayed around.” Hoseok looks down at his hands and frowns, then takes the younger’s in his and whispers “I love him.”

The brunette holds him by the back of his neck and presses his forehead against the crown of his head. He cries harder, and lets Hoseok cry too.

They’re such a mess.

Then he hears a click, and seconds later Hyunwoo’s voice is there. “Is everything okay? What happened?”

Kihyun looks up, and the blond does too. The taller male looks concerned, like he’s just woke up and has no idea what’s happening, and he probably doesn’t.

“We’re okay.” The younger reassures, wiping his eyes, and sniffs. This probably looks so worrying.

“You sure?” He walks closer to them, Hoseok is also wiping his eyes and cheeks. “You’re crying again.”

“Yeah, but this time I’m okay.” He smiles at Hyunwoo, not big, but sincere.

“Sorry for making him cry twice today. You must be wanting to kill me.” He shakes his head with a smile.

“I let Kihyun take care of himself unless he asks me for help.” Hyunwoo tells him. “And I know you don’t mean to hurt him.”

“I don’t.” Hoseok says, without missing a beat.

“I’m gonna go back to bed.” Says the brunette to the older male. “Go back to your Hyungwon. Tell him we’re fine.” He smiles, and brushes a strand of blond hair out of the older’s eyes. “I’d do it myself but I need to sleep.”

Hoseok nods. “Go.” He says.

The younger stands and goes towards Hyunwoo, who’s been watching them with a blank expression. He smiles up at him, and is about to walk past the taller when he holds Kihyun softly by the waist and leans in to kiss him. It’s quick, and chaste, during only a couple of seconds, but Kihyun has barely even kissed anyone in months, so it leaves a longing feeling, and he’s left wanting more.

But he doesn’t ask for it.

“Let’s go.” Hyunwoo says, pulling the younger along with him. “Goodnight, Hoseok-ssi.” He tells the older male, who nods to him before walking towards his own bedroom.

They walk in and close the door behind them. “Wow.” Kihyun says, feeling his face. It feels warm, probably from crying, maybe because of the kiss, but he’s not sure.

“You sure you’re okay?” The older asks, pushing the younger softly towards the bed.

He nods. “I’m just fine. We’re okay now.” He explains with a small smile. “I’ll explain everything tomorrow.” The brunette gets under the covers on his side of the bed and watches as Hyunwoo does the same. It’s still a little awkward.

“It’s okay. Let’s just sleep now.” He says. “And please don’t cry anymore.”

Kihyun chuckles. “I won’t.”

They lie down next to each other in silence.

“Why did you tell my mom we fart in front of each other, you asshole?” The younger whispers.

The two of them start laughing uncontrollably. Kihyun burying his face in his pillow.

“I fucking hate you so much.” He laughs.

“Did you see her face?” Hyunwoo snickers, then makes a terrible impersonation.

“My poor mother.” The brunette is giggling, trying to dry his eyes with the duvet. “She’ll never be the same.”

“Neither will I after-”

“Don’t you dare.” Kihyun stops him with a slap to his arm. “Let’s stop talking about fart, _please.”_ He begs.

The older nods, and they wait for their laughter to die down, starting all over again two times before finally calming down.

“I’m so tired. Stop keeping me from sleeping.” The brunette whispers with a smile as a remnant of their previous state.

“I’m not doing anything.” Hyunwoo says, and moves to turn to Kihyun. He realizes, when he’s finally facing him, that they’re really close, so he scoots back until he can look at the younger without being cross-eyed. “It’s you who’s laughing.”

“I refuse to take the blame for you mischievousness.” Kihyun says. “Now goodnight.” He turns to the other side, leaving the older staring at the back of his head.

It takes some time, but eventually, they’re both asleep again.

It’s about half past ten in the morning when Hyunwoo wakes up. Kihyun’s back pressed against his, and the room still dark due to the curtains being closed.

He ponders on whether or not he should wake the brunette up, and ends up deciding it’s a good idea.

“Kihyun-ah.”  He shakes the younger’s arm. “Wake up, dude.”

“Fuck off.” The younger mumbles.

“You’re gonna get a headache if you keep sleeping.” The older warns him.

The brunette groans. “Fine.” He sits up against his will. “Did you have breakfast yet?” He asks.

“I just woke up.”

The younger hums.

“Tell me the thing that made you cry again? Before we go outside?” Hyunwoo asks.

The younger nods, rubbing his eyes.

Outside, Hyungwon and Hoseok are up already, sitting together at the table and having breakfast.

“So you decided to tell Minhyuk too?” The taller asks. “Are you gonna do it in person?”

The blond shrugs. “I’m gonna ask Kihyun what he thinks I should do. But his family lives really far away from here so I don’t know if we have stomach to actually move to do that.”

“You can be lazier than me sometimes.” The taller mutters.

“Actually, that’s you rubbing off on me.” He comments, taking some rice to his mouth.

“Hope it doesn’t go both ways.” Hyungwon mocks, and the older makes an offended noise and hits him with his chopsticks. The dark haired male laughs and reaches out to take the older’s hand and kiss the back of it.

“Good morning.” Kihyun says, walking out of the bedroom. “You’re up already?” He asks, frowning.

“We went to bed just after you guys did.” Hyungwon clarifies. “Good morning, Kihyun-ssi.”

“You’re dating my brother, you can call me hyung, Hyungwon.” The brunette smiles, and bumps his fist against his arm.

“Morning for you too.” Hyunwoo follows Kihyun into the kitchen. “Did you leave anything for us, or did you eat everything?” He asks.

“Is he only talking to me like that because he’s big enough to kick my ass?” Hoseok asks Kihyun loudly.

“Nope! It’s because he knows you’ve got a heart soft like butter.” He answers.

“That’s true.” Adds Hyungown, taking a bite of the fried egg.

They eat together, and after they finish, they go to the living room to watch something. Kihyun says that’s their ‘bonding moment’, but is proved wrong when he and Hyungwon start arguing over the program they’re gonna watch.

“What’s wrong with watching Knowing Bros?” The taller complains.

“There’s nothing wrong, but we’ve all watched all of it! We should watch something we haven’t yet!”

“Oh, and Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon is so original!”

“Do Bong-Soon is a heroine and I will not sit here and watch you offend her show like that!”

“Okay, let's stop.” Hyunwoo announces. He grabs the shorter by the shoulder and drags him to one of the sofas. “Sit, and wait.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” He complains.

“Please, jagiya, Kihyunnie my baby, let me solve this.” He tries.

The younger ruffs. _“Fine.”_

“I see where you got it from.” Hyunwoo says to Hoseok, who rolls his eyes.

“Hyunwoo, what do you want to watch?” The blond questions.

“I’m fine with any, so I’m letting you pick.” The taller says, sitting next to Kihyun.

“I can’t go against Hyungwon or he’ll kick my ass.” Hoseok explains.

“You see, that’s also my problem.” Hyunwoo smiles.

Kihyun yells indignant. “You _know_ I wouldn’t hurt you.”

The ravenette sighs. “We’re watching Reply 97.”

“Not a bad idea.” Hyungwon raises his eyebrows.

“Good job, aein.” The brunette smiles, patting the taller’s arm.

They rearrange, Kihyun sits on the armchair by himself and Hoseok, Hyunwoo and Hyungwon sit together on the couch, the taller’s legs thrown over his boyfriend’s, much like Kihyun did to Hyunwoo in the train.

“Wait, Kihyun is sitting by himself? Why?” Hoseok asks.

“He said he’s more comfortable there.” Explains the ravenette.

The blond frowns. “But he loves to cuddle.” He says. “Whenever we watched anything together or whenever he was bored, he’s always cling onto me or Minhyuk.”

Kihyun blushes. “That’s not true.”

“It is true.” The oldest raises an eyebrow. “What’s up with you two?”

“Hoseok-ah, maybe they’re comfortable being touchy in front of us. Let them be.” Hyungwon interferes.

But the younger is having none of it.

“I don’t have anything to hide from you.” He says to the two of them. “Hyung, come here.” He stands up and waits for a confused Hyunwoo to approach him, only to push him onto the wide armchair and sit between his thighs, back resting on his chest. “Are you okay with this?” He whispers to him.

Hyunwoo nods. “You didn’t have to get competitive.” He says.

“Hoseok gets on my nerves.” The brunette explains.

“See, we can hear you.” Hoseok calls from the couch. “Shut up.”

The other two ignore them. They settle like that, and Hyunwoo wraps his arms around Kihyun for good measure. It’s comfortable, and it’s cozy. They’re fine.

Hours later, when they have lunch, Kihyun asks them all if they want to come to his parent’s house to play with Dohyun, but Hoseok and Hyungwon explain they’re already going to Hyungwon’s family’s house. They’re trying to make up for not spending christmas with them, but with Kihyun’s family.

So, after their meal, both Kihyun and Hyunwoo put warm clothes and coats on, including beanies, and go outside into the snowy path, to walk up to the other house.

“It’s so pretty.” Hyunwoo comments. “I’m used to snow in Seoul, with big buildings and fancy houses. This neighbourhood makes me feel like we’re in a small town, y’know? Like if we try hard enough this could turn into a horror movie.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Changkyun.” The younger says. It’s muffled because of the thick ass scarf around his neck. Honestly, only his eyes and nose are visible under all those clothes, and the tip of hia pointy nose is red from the cold. He kinda looks like a wax figure, or a plushie.

“Didn’t you say I have to take care of him?”

“That’s not taking care. That’s being influenced by your dongsaeng.” Kihyun sighs, and a puff of fog comes out from under the scarf. “I can’t believe me and Minhyukie are the only ones immune to that.”

“Yeah right.” The older scoffs. “You-”

But he’s cut out by his foot sliding and him falling on his ass.

“Oh my god.” The brunette exclaims, chuckling. He comes up to the other male. “Are you okay?” The laughter in his voice is noticeable.

“I think I broke my butt.” He answers.

“No you didn’t.” Kihyun laughs. “C’mon. Get up.”

Hyunwoo holds the hand the younger is offering, but he stands up on his own, practically, knowing if he let the other pull him up, he’d probably come crashing down too. “You’re so clumsy.” The brunette comments.

He knows it’s due to the cold, but Kihyun could swear he just saw the ravenette blush. He doesn’t let go of his hand, and starts walking more carefully.

“Is it too far away?” Hyunwoo asks.

The younger shakes his head. “It’s right around the corner.”

And it’s true, they arrive there soon enough, and Mrs. Park fusses over them as soon as they enter the house. They take their thousand layers of coats off and greet everyone properly, still holding hands for the most part. They only let go when Soona points it out, swooning.

“How is my baby boy?” Asks the brunette with the biggest smile and a tiny voice. “Did you have a good lunchie?”

“Yes I did.” His mother answers in a baby voice, pretending to be Dohyun. “I ate the peas granny made for me.”

“You ate _all_ of them?” He gasps exaggeratedly, making the baby squeal in contentment. “You’re such a good boy.”

Hyunwoo is watching closely, fondly. The kid is really cute, he can’t deny. He’s probably got chubbier cheeks than he and Jooheon combined.

Then Dohyun opens his arms towards the brunette, asking for him, and the older swears Kihyun’s about to cry. But he reaches for his nephew anyway, and sits him on his thighs, his older brother watching with a proud smile.

Dohyun observes Kihyun for a few moments before opening a wide gummy smile and squealing again. Mrs. Park seems to be holding back her own squeal.

“I love you so much, my baby. You’re so smart. Uncle missed you so much.” Kihyun smiles, bumping his legs up and down to entertain the kid.

“You should let Hyunwoo hold him.” His brother suggests.

Kihyun looks at him like he’s just shot him on the chest, and his sister-in-law chuckles.

“Come here.” She motions to him. The taller shifts awkwardly and sits down on the ground next to Kihyun, who watches him suspiciously.

“Be careful.” Says the brunette softly. He holds Dohyun from under his armpits and hands him to Hyunwoo, who holds the kid awkwardly.

Dohyun settles on his thighs and looks around, confused.

“Oh?” His dad exclaims. “He’s not crying.”

“I think he likes Hyunwoo’s fat thighs.” Kihyun comments, patting one of said thighs. “Must feel comfortable.”

“Or he can feel how much Hyunwoo means to you.” His mother intervenes. “Babies know stuff.”

The brunette hums, but doesn’t pay attention to them, as he lets Dohyun wrap his little fist around his finger. He leans in to kiss is head, and smiles at the baby smell. Hyunwoo watches them.

Dohyun starts fidgeting, so the older tries to lift him up and give him back to his mother or uncle before he breaks the kid. But he doesn’t get to do that, because as soon as he lifts him enough, the boy plants his feet firmly on his thighs and stand up wobbly, held by Hyunwoo. He looks rather proud of himself.

“He’s standing up?” Kihyun exclaims.

“He does that.” His brother explains. “He’s six months old.”

“I think I’m gonna cry.” The younger mumbles. Hyunwoo chuckles.

“This is the smartest baby I’ve ever met.” He comments, and it seems to please the brunette, since he drops a kiss on his shoulder and grins.

“That’s because he’s my nephew.” He explains.

Soona laughs.

They spend a good part of the afternoon playing with Dohyun, the kid warming up to the both of them quickly. When they finally have to go, Soona thanks them for looking out for the baby and giving her a time to rest. Of course Kihyun offers to help whenever they need him. Or them, in this case.

They once again put on all their layers of clothing, and wave them all goodbye before qalking out into the crippling cold. They hold hands once again, not only because it’s slippery, but because it’s dark. Hyunwoo’s hands feel even bigger with gloves on, Kihyun notices.

When they’re about halfway in, the brunette spots a friendly face.

“Shua!” He calls out, letting go of Hyunwoo’s hand to wave at the man.

Joshua turns around, surprised, but smiles widely when he sees who it is.

“Hyung! I was just heading there.” He comments as they approach him. “Who’s this.”

“This is Hyunwoo, my roommate.” The younger tells him. “Hyung, this is Joshua. He’s american, and we went to the same high school and the same church.”

Hyunwoo smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you, Joshua-ssi.”

“Equally. Anyone who’s a friend of Kihyunie-hyung is already a good person to me.” He smiles cheerfully.

It’s nice, but a little weird, Hyunwoo notices.

“Let’s go to the house. It’s freezing outside.” The brunette tells them, walking ahead alongside Joshua, with Hyunwoo following closely behind. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Oh, no. I have to go back in a few, actually. I just came back because you asked me.”

Kihyun is about to say something when he slips and almost falls. Joshua reaches out to hold his arm, but what keeps him from falling is the older who’s faster and holds him from the back.

“You okay?” Both Joshua and Hyunwoo ask.

“Mhm. I’m fine, sorry.” The shorter says, a little out of breath from the scare.

“Be careful.” Hyunwoo tells him, walking next to him with his arm around his waist, letting go when he’s sure Kihyun is stable.

He notices Joshua looking at his hand on the other’s waist for longer than normal.

They walk inside the house, Kihyun and Joshua talking away about how their lives have been and how things are around the city.

Hoseok and Hyungwon aren’t back yet, so it’s just the three of them. They sit on the living room together. Kihyun says he’s gonna make them tea, but the older intervenes and tells him he’ll do it himself.

“Be careful!” Calls out the brunette. “He’s very clumsy.” He explains to the younger male.

Joshua smiles.

They both of them sit on the couch, and the older sits on the armchair by himself, not at all adding anything to their conversation. The minutes pass and turn into an hour, and Joshua finally realizes he need to go home.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” The shorter asks.

“I want to, believe me, but I need to go home. My grandma is staying with us.” He explains.

“Fine.” Kihyun pouts. “Be safe, then.”

The younger assures him he’ll be okay before leaving.

“You guys went to school together?” Hyunwoo asks when Kihyun walks back to the sofa, throwing himself on it.

“Yeah. He was younger though, so we barely talked. We met more at church.”

“He does seem like the type.” The taller muses. “You didn’t tell him we’re dating.” It’s not a question.

“I know, okay?” The younger groans. “I’m scared of his reaction. What if he’s homophobic? What if he hates me?”

“Listen, if he’s gonna judge you for loving people then you don’t need his friendship.” Hyunwoo tells him, standing up and gathering their mugs to take them to the kitchen. "And I think it’s safe to say he’s not homophobic.”

“Why are you saying that?”

The older shrugs, sitting back on his chair. “Just a feeling.”

Kihyun lets go.

They mophe around until it’s late enough to start dinner. They don’t make anything too complicated, just some rice, eggs, noodles and chicken.

When they’re almost done, Hyungwon and Hoseok finally return. “Honey, I’m hooome!” Calls the blond.

“You’re cheesy as fuck.” Hyungwon comments, both taking off their coats and shoes by the door. “Are you guys making dinner?”

“Yeah.” The ravenette answers.

“We’ll be done soon.” Kihyun supplies.

They get the other two to set the table while they’re finishing.

“Did you have a good time with Dohyun?” Hoseok asks when they’re all seated.

“We did. He’s so smart. We played all afternoon until he got tired.” The brunette says dreamily.

“Did he and Hyunwoo-hyung get along well?” Hyungwon asks between bites.

Kihyun nods. “Surprisingly, yeah. And we met Joshua on the way back.”

“Oh? He came again?” The blond raises an eyebrow.

“He did.” Hyunwoo confirms.

“A day of many happenings.” Hyunwoo comments. “We should celebrate it. December twentieth.” He announces, raising his glass of coke. Everyone follows.

“You guys should kiss to celebrate.” Hoseok comments around a mouthful of rice.

“Hey, weren’t you going to talk to Kihyun about telling Minhyuk?” His boyfriend intervenes. “Hoseok wanted to know if you agree calling him is the best option. You know, to tell him about us.”

“I think, yeah. ‘Cause he’ll only get here tomorrow and his family lives really far away, so I don’t think meeting up just for that is gonna be worth it.” Kihyun explains.

“See? I told you.” The oldest pokes Hyungwon.

As soon as they finish eating, they all take the stuff away.

“You think he’s gonna be mad?” Hoseok asks as he and Kihyun fold the table cloth together.

“Less mad than me.” The younger laughs. “He won’t mind too much, though, I think- Yah!” He turns around to stare at Hyunwoo. “Did you just slap my butt?”

The older nods.

“Why?!”

He shrugs. “I felt like it.”

“I’m gonna kill him.” The younger threatens, face pink.

Hoseok laughs.

The night goes by rather quickly. They find an old Game of Life and end up playing it together until one in the morning, Kihyun and Hyungwon getting into fights and saying the other was cheating. In the end, Hyunwoo ended up being the bank.

No one saw him slipping Hoseok a fill bills.

They also call Minhyuk. They put the phone on speaker, and try to let Hoseok explain by himself before letting him know they’re there.

“Does Kihyun know? Is he okay?” It’s what Minhyuk asks, voice serious.

“I’m here, Minhyukie. I’m fine.” The brunette speaks up. “It was all a mess, but now I’m okay.”

“I’m glad. I guess I’m okay then. I’m happy you’ve found someone who can endure your annoyingly clingy ass.”

“Says the clingiest person in the world.” Hoseok bites back.

The bickering is normal for them. Minhyuk talks to Hyungwon for a bit, and greets Hyunwoo before he has to hang up.

When they go to bed later that morning, Kihyun falls asleep facing Hyunwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your comments so much ;-;  
> They make me wanna finish soon so that you'll be fed with some more showki  
> Thank you!  
> Feedback is always appreciated ❤  
> Y'all can imagine Joshua like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0rcqkM-8bQ)
> 
> Hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) if needed!  
> And here's my [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) if you wanna know about updates, send me stuff or whatever. Anything you need to know I'll try to answer! (Unless it's a spoiler lmao.) Don't worry, I'm nice c:


	6. Trespass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was(n't) going to update today. I was writing at work when I got a text from a friend. She never texts me when I'm at work unless it's urgent. I went on twitter to see if she was okay and then I saw it.  
> I lost my aunt yesterday guys, and today we lost one of the most amazing and talented people I've ever heard of.  
> When I saw the news I thought "I can't do this. I can't write right now, I can't post today." And I wasn't going to.  
> But talking to a friend who reads this too, she said she almost wanted to ask me to post it, so she'd have a distraction. I was on the fence on this, I really was, but I thought maybe updating would be a good thing. Take your minds out of it for a bit.  
> I'm devastated, and you probably are too. We can go through this together. You did well, Jonghyun.  
> Stay strong, Shawols.  
> Don't forget that it's okay to be sad, and please, take care <3  
> I hope you enjoy this.  
> It's also 10k

 

 

 

> I’m different from those pretty boys over there  
>  Excuse me, excuse my charisma  
>  I’m gonna be rude and enter your heart  
>  My love knows no manners, excuse my charisma

 

“So they’re out?” Kihyun asks, taking off his gloves and shoving them on his coat’s pockets before Hyunwoo helps him take it out.

“They said they had some last minute shopping to do.” His mother nods. “But we can still have fun together, can’t we? We can sit and talk and you can tell me everything about your relationship like I deserve to be told. Since I was, you know, kept in the dark for three months.” She smiles eerily.

“Uh, sure, eomma.” Kihyun says, slowly. “We can do that, right?” He turns to Hyunwoo for an answer.

“Yes, eomani. We can, of course.” He smiles at her, trying to make it as genuine as possible.

She makes them all tea, and asks Mr. Yoo if he’d like to join, which he politely declines saying he’s watching the news. Kihyun whispers to the older man that it’s probably because he’d be uncomfortable.

They sit by the sofas. Hyunwoo and Kihyun side by side while she sits on the other side of the L-shaped couch.

“So.” She starts. “You met when you moved in together?”

“No.” Hyunwoo says.

“Yes.” Kihyun says, at the same time.

They both share a look. Mrs. Park raises an eyebrow.

“We met a few weeks before, when I called you to know about the place.” The ravenette clarifies.

“Oh.” The younger’s jaw falls slightly open. “I wasn’t considering that.”

“And who made the first move?” His mother interrupts.

Kihyun blushes. “Eomma!” He groans.

“What? It’s a simple question.” She retorts, looking at Hyunwoo expectantly.

“Hyung knows better than I do.”

The taller looks at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “I…” He looks at the woman. “He did.” He says. “He flirted with me first.”

“ _Excuse_ me?”

“But he thought I wasn’t interested so he stopped. But that’s because I’m not very expressive. He only realized it was a misunderstanding when I asked him out.”

“That’s adorable.” Mrs. Park beams. “That does sound like my son.”

The brunette frowns, because she’s right. It does sound like him.

“What are your intentions towards my youngest son?” She asks, eyes turning dark in a nanosecond. “You know if you hurt him I’ll have you moving to another city.”

The older looks at Kihyun with wide eyes. It doesn’t help the other male is sharing the same expression as he is.

“He won’t hurt me.” Says the brunette, taking Hyunwoo’s hand and interlacing their fingers. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Oh, good!” She smiles. “You know, I haven’t met any of my Kihyunie’s boyfriends before so this is a new and exciting experience. I never thought I’d be meeting a boyfriend, honestly, since I’d given birth to two boys, but thankfully I’m being able to experience everything.”

The younger squeezes the ravenette’s hand in his and leans on him.

“I’m glad to be the first.” Says Hyunwoo politely.

“Do you love each other?” She asks.

There’s a silence.

“I, uh…” Kihyun tries. “Eomma you can’t go asking people that.” He says in a small voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” She leans forward to reach him, but Hyunwoo’s between them.

“Well, I am in love with him.” He explains. “Jagiya feels bad because he doesn’t often expresses it. Because he gets embarrassed because of his lisp.”

The brunette wonders when Hyunwoo got so good at lying.

“I-” The younger speaks up. “I’m sorry about that.” He tells the other, hoping he sounds convincing.

“It’s okay.” Hyunwoo says.

“What do you like the most on each other?” She asks, eyes glistening.

They both seem to take a deep breath at the same time. This conversation feels endless.

“I like his eyes.” The ravenette speaks up first. “And I like how caring he is.” He adds.

Then Mrs. Park turns to Kihyun with curious eyes.

“Oh. I like his smile?” He says like it’s a question. “Yeah. I like Hyung’s smile. And I like when he doesn’t complain when I nag.”

“Because I know you’re only doing that because you care.” The older explains.

“I know you do and I really appreciate that.” Kihyun confesses. “You’re very considerate. Thank you.”

“Makes me so glad to see you happy like this.” His mother is smiling, hands clasped together. “Do you still wake up early, my dear? Does he wake up at ungodly hours and starts cooking?” She asks the last to the taller one.

“Only when he’s worried about something, or nervous.” Answers the older. “He fusses around a lot on those days.”

Kihyun didn’t know the other male knew that about him, or that he notices the days when he wakes up at dawn to stress cook.

“So he normally doesn’t wake up that early?” She inquires.

“I do.” This time is the brunette himself who answers. “I usually get the morning shifts at the café because Minhyuk hates waking up early.” He tells her. “But that also means I get to leave earlier.”

She hums in acknowledgement. “I understand.”

“I work all day at the library shop too, so we wake up around the same time.” Hyunwoo says.

“Library shop? What is that?”

“It’s a place that’s like a library and a book store all at once.” He explains. “It’s a nice place.”

“It sounds like one.” Mrs. Park acknowledges. “I’ve been meaning to ask… How is it with living together and eating meals together? You know Kihyunie doesn’t eat seafood. He can’t even stand it when it’s around him. Don’t you miss it?”

This is an answer the younger male wants to hear too.

“I eat just about anything.” The ravenette confesses with a chuckle. “So it doesn’t bother me as much as it would bother other people.”

“You both are like a match made in heaven.” She sighs. “I’m very happy you’ve found each other.”

Kihyun almost feels like telling her the truth right now, because it’d probably make him feel less shitty.

“Thank you, eomma. I feel the same.” He says with a smile, trying to look at Hyunwoo instead of her.

“I have one last question though.” She mentions with a serious expression.

The brunette swallows. “Yeah?”

“Are you wearing protection?” She asks, crossing her arms. “Because I know this young generation has a thing for not liking to wear preservatives, which is stupid and immature, because diseases are a thing, even if you can’t get pregnant.”

“Okay, this conversation is over.” Kihyun declares, standing up. “This was great, mom, but I think dad would love your company.” He smiles eerily wide at her. “And I’ll let you know you have _nothing_ to worry about.”

She looks pleased enough to let them be, and walks out of the room, living them alone. Kihyun sits back down with a whine.

“Why does she have to be like that? That’s so fucking embarrassing.” He moans.

“‘Cause she’s your mom and she loves you, jagi.” The older smiles sympathetically.

“Yeah, but what _were_ those questions? Like I’d let you or anyone fuck me without  a rubber on. How does she even know I bottom?” He says, incredulous, arms falling heavily against his sides, one of them on Hyunwoo’s leg.

“Maybe you let it slip?”

“Of course. ‘Cause when we’re talking on the phone I start all the conversations with [ ‘Hey! By the way, I like it up the ass!’ ](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/137542110) and she laughs away.” He comments sarcastically.

“You don’t have to be mad at me because your mom asked embarrassing questions. I’m supposed to know embarrassing things about you anyways.” The ravenette affirms.

“Because you’re my boyfriend?”

“I was gonna say because I’m your roommate, but that too.” He chuckles, patting the younger’s thigh.

They sit in comfortable silence. The younger pondering over his life choices at the moment and the older not focusing on anything in particular. Enjoying the homey atmosphere and warm body beside him.

“Do you wanna go out for dinner?” Suggests the brunette, mumbling with his eyes fixated on the window. Rather the white landscape it reveals. “I can show you around maybe.”

“Like a date?” Hyunwoo asks mindlessly, playing with the younger’s fingers.

“Yeah.” Kihyun answers.

“Okay.” The older mumbles.

“What do you wanna eat?” The shorter asks.

“Dunno.”

Kihyun groans, pulling his hand away from the older’s. “C’mon, you always do that. Just pick something.”

Hyunwo shakes his head.

“Hyung, come on.”

“You know I’ll eat anything. Just choose yourself.”

“I don’t wanna be with the burden of choosing. Just choose already, please.” He pleads.

“Kihyunie it doesn’t matter, it’s just food.”

“Then you can just simply choose what we’re eating.” The younger says, exasperated.

“I’m not gonna choose for you to complain about it.” The older argues.

“Goddamnit, can’t you just choose it? It’s just food you’re gonna eat!”

The older sits up. “Again. I’m not gonna choose, because if I choose _anything_ you find unpleasant in the slightest, then it’s my fault for ruining your day or some shit like that.” He bites, annoyed.

“I’m not that picky about food! You just have a shitty taste.” The younger shoots back.

“You don’t fucking eat seafood! What kind of Korean are you?”

“I’ve got a fucking sensitive nose! Surprises me I can even live with you.” He shouts.

“It doesn’t matter! You could lose the sense of smell and you’d still find a way to whine about everything like you always do.” Hyunwoo points a finger at the younger.

“Fuck you!” The younger pushes him on the chest, hurt, and the older takes a step back from the force it.

Hyunwoo doesn’t push back because he knows he might actually hurt Kihyun if he does so.

“You’re not perfect, Kihyun. You’re only around to complain, and nag. Act like the mom when you can’t even care for yourself.”

“I can’t take care of myself? I’ve been taking care of myself all of this time. _I’m_ the one who makes you food. _I’m_ the one who buys you and the boys medicine when you’re sick and makes you all take it. _I’m_ the one who got fucking worried thinking you were dead in the middle of the road in Seoul and waited up for six fucking hours for you to come back. Not knowing if you would!” He inhales, and it comes out shaky. “I’ve been taking care of myself since day one.” Hyunwoo realizes he’s fucked up at the same time he realizes Kihyun’s brother is back with his wife and son, and that his parents are also watching the fight from the corridor that leads to the bedrooms.

So he does the first thing that comes to his mind and cups the younger’s face, and leans in to press their lips together.

He has no idea when the younger started crying, but he feels the wetness of his tears on his hands around his pretty jaw. The younger lets out the smallest sob, and reaches out to wrap his arms around Hyunwoo’s neck. The older lets his own hands run down to Kihyun’s waist and holds him there, against him.

Everyone seems to realize they shouldn’t be watching this, because Hyunwoo can hear them scurrying away to give them privacy. They don’t acknowledge their surroundings, though, because in the next second, in which they’re hopefully already alone, the brunette’s tongue slips through his parted lips and meets his own. The older instinctively pulls him closer, making Kihyun arch his back and angle his head differently, one arm still around his neck and the other hand resting against Hyunwoo’s firm chest, coincidently over his heart.

Hyunwoo notices, in the midst of their tongues dancing together and hands gripping each other, that Kihyun is a great kisser. It has something to it, like the younger is trying to lead him into leading, like he’s showing Hyunwoo how it’s done so that he can do it the same way to him. And it’s addicting.

But it’s all over too soon, when the younger pulls back and pushes him away, looking at him with wide eyes. His expression then turns into a furious one, and he pushes the older aside to walk past him, puts his shoes on at record speed. He opens the door and walks out into the cold air.

That’s how Kihyun ends up walking the first minute of the ten minutes walk to the other house without a coat on, freezing like a damned man. Only the first minute because as soon as the older realizes he didn’t have his coat with him, he grabs both of them and runs out after the brunette.

Kihyun doesn’t say anything when he feels the heavy fabric falling against his shoulders. He knows Hyunwoo is walking right behind him, but he doesn’t thank him, just puts the coat on and hugs himself so he’ll warm up faster.

The rest of the walk home is silent and awkward, just like they used to be before they came here.

“You came back earlier than I thought. Was Dohyun asleep?” Hoseok asks as soon as they walk in.

“He wasn’t there.” Kihyun says curtly, taking off his coat and shoes.

“We were thinking of going out to eat. What do you think?” Hyungwon asks, sitting on the kitchen counter with his legs crossed.

The younger doesn’t glance at them as he walks past everyone and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Both Hoseok and Hyungwon turn to look at Hyunwoo questioningly.

“We had an argument.” The older provides. “And I think he’s mad at me.”

The blond scoffs.

“You think?” Hyungwon snickers. “You’re gonna talk to him?” He asks Hoseok.

“Yeah.” The older nods with a weak smile and goes to follow Kihyun. He knocks on the door softly. “Kihyunie?” He calls.

There’s a click, then the door’s opening and a small hand reaches out to pull the blond inside.

“Creepy.” Hyungwon jokes when the door shuts closed again. “What did you do?”

The ravenette sighs and walks closer to the other male.

“We had a pretty ugly argument, then we kissed.” He tells him. Hyunwoo scratches his temple with his fingers, face scrunching up. “Not sure which got him mad, though.”

“Probably both.” The younger whistles.

Hyungwon looks down at his hand, wiggling his fingers.

“Do you like him?” He asks.

It takes the older a few seconds to answer. “I don’t think so?”

“Then why did you kiss him?”

“‘Cause everyone was watching and I wanted it to look like it was all just a lovers quarrel or something. Also I made him cry and I felt bad.” He explains, mumbling the last part.

“How many times before this week had you seen him cry?”

“I think... Twice.” The older says thoughtfully.

“Did you like kissing him?” Hyungwon asks with a smirk.

“Yes.” Confesses the ravenette. “He’s a really good kisser.”

“Maybe he trained with Hoseok.” Hyungwon jokes.

Hyunwoo doesn’t know how he feels about the idea of younger Kihyun and Hoseok making out, but he knows such a thing didn’t happen, so doesn’t think about it anyway.

“Aren’t you straight?” The brown haired asks.

Hyunwoo sighs, rubbing his face. “I don’t know.”

Hyungwon hums.

“Tough life.”

“You sound straight-er than me now.” The older points out.

“I’m dating a guy, doesn’t matter how straight I sound.”

“I’m dating a guy too.”

“Yeah, but…” He starts. “Are you fucking him?”

The older swallows thickly.

“I’m not.” He says.

“I bet you’d like to. He’s got a cute ass.”

“Stop fucking hitting on my boyfriend.” Hyunwoo pushes the other playfully, and accidently throws him off the counter.

“That’s attempted murder!” The younger screeches from the floor.

“Sorry.” He apologizes, getting closer and pulling Hyungwon up by the hand.

They hear a door opening and closing and one second later Hoseok’s there.

“We’re not eating out.” The blond announces. “But I’ve seen him worse than that before.”

Hyunwoo bites the inside of his cheek. “Do you wanna start dinner then?”

“It’s three in the afternoon.” Hyungwon points out.

“Never too early.” The ravenette shrugs. “And why the hell aren’t you using honorifics with me?”

Hoseok raises his eyebrows.

“Sorry. I just never use them with Hoseok and I forget to do it with you.” Hyungwon explains. “Kihyun doesn’t use them all the time with you either, though.” He observes.

Hyunwoo realizes he’s right. He hadn’t noticed before, but since the train trip the younger hasn’t used honorifics in all situations he was supposed to. He wonders why.

“Why don’t you use them with Hoseok?” He decides to ask.

The brown haired male shrugs. “Because we’re dating, and he doesn’t care that much about them.”

Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything, just nods. He’s still thinking about Kihyun. How the younger is mad at him but he doesn’t know the reason, how he didn’t realize the drop in the honorifics, how surprisingly good it felt to full on kiss him.

The ravenette walks past the both of them and stops by the counter like he’s about to prepare something, but just stands there with unfocused eyes.

“Kihyun doesn’t have to use honorifics with me ‘cause he’s my boyfriend.” He says, finally, and for some reason his shoulders drop like he’s just got rid of a giant burden. “He still uses them with Hoseok, so you should use them with me.”

The other two don’t answer right away, so he turns to look at them. Both men are looking at him with curious eyes.

“Okay, hyung. If that’s what you want.” The tallest of the two says.

“I’m bored.” Hoseok announces.

“Who’d have guessed Kihyun was actually our moodmaker.” The brown haired comments.

“The problem is that he won’t do anything unless Kihyunie joins. He’s whipped like that.” Says the blond, completely ignoring the fact Hyunwoo is right next to them.

He doesn’t say anything though. He doesn’t really feel like talking.

“So, uh…” The brown haired male starts. “Hyung, we’re gonna go to our room.”

Hyunwoo looks up and means to ask what they’re gonna do, but realizes he probably shouldn’t. “Will you be okay on your own?”

He nods.

“Call if you need anything.” Hoseok declares. Then guides Hyungwon to their room, hands linked.

The ravenette stares at the marble counter.

He doesn’t know how long he’s there for. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. He heard noises coming from the room behind him, and he’s sure that was Kihyun going into the bathroom for a shower. He’s thankful he can’t hear a thing from the other two’s room. Maybe the house being old and having thick walls was a giant advantage, after all.

Hyunwoo starts wandering around. He goes to the living room, then realizes he doesn’t wanna be too close to their room in case he hears something, so he stops on his tracks and turns to the opposite direction.

There’s another room in the house, next to his and Kihyun’s. The door has a different design from the ones in the bedrooms, and he doesn’t have the slightest idea what’s inside. So he figures it won’t hurt to peek, since he’s not doing anything, his boyfriend’s mad at him and the other two residents are having sex in the next room.

So he grabs the doorknob and opens the door.

It’s a room, just as big as their bedroom, but with a big glass window on the wall opposite to the door. The space is empty apart from a black grand piano in the center and a navy blue divan against the right wall. He enters the room cautiously, like he might be intruding something personal. He walks over to the piano, slowly, and presses a few keys, like everyone always does when they find a piano.

The instrument looks like it’s had it’s days. It’s not particularly old, but not new either. The divan, on the other hand, looks like it’s pretty new. It can be more than a year old, and it’s long enough for a person as tall as him or Hyungwon to lie down.

Maybe he can sleep here tonight, instead of the sofa.

“So you’ve found it.” He hears Kihyun say, and turns around to look at him. The younger is standing by the doorframe, wearing a white hoodie and black sweatpants, his hair messy as if he’s been running his fingers through it.

The older nods, he takes a step back from the piano.

“Sorry.” He says, voice low.

Kihyun frowns. “You don’t have to apologize for touching the piano, Hyunwoo.” And walks away before the older can explain himself.

Hyunwoo also notices the absence of honorifics.

“You’re making dinner? You don’t have to.” He tells the younger when he gets to the kitchen to see what he’s up to.

“I’m not making dinner. I’m heating the leftovers from last night.” Kihyun grumbles, not looking towards Hyunwoo as he grabs the containers in the fridge and gets pans to heat up some of the food, putting the other part in the microwave. “Where are Hoseok and Hyungwon?” He asks.

“In their room.”

Kihyun pauses. “Did they sexile you?”

“Not really.” The ravenette looks towards their room. “I was never in their room to begin with.”

The younger laughs bitterly. “Okay then.”

They both don’t say anything else. The taller watches from a few metres away as Kihyun heats up the food, feeling like a kid who was grounded and is trying to tiptoe around their parents.

“Come here.” The younger calls, still not making a move to look at him.

The older paces towards him quietly, looking rather odd since he’s a tall broad man, and has the facial expression of a five year old right now. “Yeah?” He asks.

“Try this and tell me if it tastes okay. I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore.” He says, pointing at one of the pans before going to do something else by the sink, at least a meter away from him.

The older does try the food, and tells the younger it tastes just fine, so the brunette dismisses him.

Hyunwoo sits on the couch with his phone in hands, and starts scrolling through instagram, liking friend’s pictures and just mindlessly going over dance accounts.

Thankfully, Hoseok and Hyungwon come out of their room in ten minutes after that.

They don’t talk much. Hoseok jokes around with Kihyun, and Hyungwon comments here and there, but Hyunwoo is quiet, only speaking up when the oldest asks him something.

When it’s around past five in the afternoon they decide to have dinner already. Hyungwon won’t stop commenting on how that’s an old people thing to do, and Kihyun snaps at him saying this was his grandma’s house and he can do whatever he wants.

“Do you wanna go out later?” Hoseok asks Kihyun.

The brunette looks up with curious eyes. “What, just you and me?”

“I gotta watch the new episode of this series I like. I can’t go.” Hyungwon shakes his head.

Kihyun glances at Hyunwoo. The older looks around and realizes they’re all waiting for him to do something.

“Oh, I… I’m good. I’m not in the mood for going out. Have fun.” He says, mumbling and waving his hand.

“Maybe we can ask Shua if he wants to come?” The brunette suggests, taking a sip of his iced tea.

“I wanted it to be just us.” The blond pouts. “Just like it used to be in high school.”

“Then Minhyuk would have to come too.” Kihyun comments.

“I was going to call him, but he’d just arrived.” He explains. “I hope he can visit. I miss him like hell.”

The smaller male smiles sadly.

“Okay. Just the two of us then.” He smiles. “Maybe I’ll bring someone home tonight.” He chuckles.

Hyunwoo looks at him with wide eyes.

The other two look at him expectantly, then at Kihyun, and repeat the process until the brunette lifts his head in realization.

“I was joking.” He says, stunned. “I was joking.” He repeats, now to Hyunwoo. “It was out of habit, I’m not bringing anyone home or going home with anyone, okay?” He clarifies. “I’m coming home to you.”

“Okay.” The older says, looking Kihyun in the eyes. “It’s just a joke.” He says.

“When was the episode supposed to come out anyway?” Hoseok asks the brown haired male sitting next to him.

“December twenty second.” He answers. “I’m waiting for midnight so I can watch it.”

“Is it an american show?” Kihyun questions.

The taller nods.

“Doesn’t that mean it’s already out? With time zones and stuff?” Hyunwoo asks.

Hyungwon’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, I’m so stupid.” He slaps a hand on his face. “A friend had told me it was coming out on December twenty first and I didn’t believe him.” He groans. “I’ll watch it after dinner, it’s fine.”

The blond beside him laughs, slapping his leg.

“Wait, December twenty first?” Kihyun swallows the coke with wide eyes. “It’s our three month anniversary.” He murmurs.

“Oh, right! I forgot about that.” Hyunwoo comments, taking a bite of a chicken wing, he side eyes the younger carefully.

“This is amazing! Congratulations.” Hyungwon smiles.

“You guys should kiss.” Hoseok incentives, mouth full of rice. “Go on.” He motions with his hands.

Kihyun thinks Hoseok is being annoying. He knows the brunette is mad at Hyunwoo, and that might be his try at helping them make up, but the fact he’s trying to force the older onto him like that, when kissing is why he’s mad in the first place He might think they’re okay because of the “I’m coming home to you” conversation, but they’re not. He’s done with it. He felt like shit when Hyunwoo kissed him like that, without a warning and not apologizing for the shit he said before, like kissing him would make him forget it.

He’s too pissed off for that. He’s done.

“Stop with this shit. You don’t get to tell me what I do or not with my boyfriend. And I don’t wanna fucking kiss him!” He snaps, slamming his hand down on the table. “You mind your own goddamn business.”

The room falls silent.

“I’m sorry.” Kihyun sighs. “I lost my temper. I’m sorry.”

“It’s… fine. I was being inconvenient.” Hoseok says slowly, looking down at his almost empty plate. “Let’s just finish this and then we can decide where we’re going.”

The younger nods, frowning at himself.

They’re not really talking. Kihyun mostly puts up an act when they’re with the other two, but apart from that he doesn’t do much. He stays in their bedroom, and Hyunwoo stays out, only walking in when the younger goes into Hoseok and Hyungwon’s room to watch the series episode with them, for lack of something better to do.

It’s a boring day. Hyunwoo watches random series and movies on netflix all day, until Kihyun and Hoseok start to flap around as they get ready to go out, around eleven, when Hyunwoo is already considering going to bed. Or the sofa, in this case.

“I thought Kihyun would be left waiting outside with us, but it seems to me he takes as long as Hoseok to get ready.” Hyungwon comments, sprawled on the armchair with an empty bottle of beer in hands that had once belonged to his boyfriend. Kihyun and Hoseok have already started drinking as a ‘warm up’

“Kihyun can take either forever or no time at all to get ready.” Hyunwoo sighs, sipping on his own beer. “We don’t go out together that much.”

The other hums, not seeming interested in the slightest. “You sure you don’t wanna come? Just check out the place.” He invites once again.

“Nah.” He snorts. “If I get in a car with Kihyun I probably wouldn’t come out alive.”

The younger frowns. “Does he hit you?”

“What? No! No. It’s just the heavy tension around us. He’s really not happy with me.” He explains.

Hyungwon nods. “Okay then. If you don’t even wanna drive them there with me then I’m not gonna question.” He acknowledges. “But it’s weird. Hoseokie had told me Kihyun isn’t the type to hold grudges.”

“He isn’t. So it was probably a sore spot I touched or something like that.”

“We’re ready!” Hoseok’s voice echoes into the room. They both turn to find the blond standing there with a black button up and light wash jeans, with black boots. He looks like a proper model, as always.

“Where’s Kihyunie?” Hyunwoo asks.

“Coming!” The younger calls out from inside.

“Why is he dolling up so much for?” Hyunwon asks, chin resting over the back of the chair.

“He looks _hot.”_ The oldest wiggles his eyebrows.

A protesting sound can be heard from inside once again. A whole minute later Kihyun walks out.

“Well… You do look hot.” Hyungwon comments.

Hyunwoo stares. The ravenette will be damned if that’s not a [ good look ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f6/49/05/f649058da9a3a4e3da624fc57838f46c.jpg) on the younger.

His mouth feels dry.

“I personally like the earring.” Comments the blond casually. “Anyways, let’s get going.” He says, going back inside the room and walking back out with two bottles of beer. They down all of it and giggle before leaving them in the kitchen sink. “Don’t wait up, Hyunwoo.” The older calls back.

“He means it.” Kihyun clarifies, looking over his shoulder at the ravenette before grabbing his coat and walking out of the house and closing the door behind them.

The ravenette isn’t sure what he should do. The TV is on, but he’s not in the mood to watch, so he just stares at the ceiling on the hopes that’ll make Hyungwon come back home faster.

Soon, though, he’s being shaken awake by said man.

“Hyung. I was out for thirty minutes and you already feel asleep?” He laughs. “Go to bed if you’re so tired. They won’t be back for some time now.” He says.

“I’m not tired, I’m just… Bored.” The older explains. “And anyways, I won’t be able to sleep ‘till I’m sure they’re home.”

The brown haired shakes his head. “Hoseok will be texting me all night, you can be sure of that. He always does that when we’re apart.” He giggles. “Gets funnier the drunker he gets.”

As if on cue, the younger’s phone dings in his pocket.

“Are you guys’ minds connected or something?” Hyunwoo asks.

The other ignores him as he gets his phone and looks at the screen. “They’re at the bar.” He tells him.

“Any idea of something we can do to pass the time?” The ravenette asks.

“There’s a karaoke thingy around here somewhere.” He comments distractedly. “I’ll go get it.”

Most of the evening goes by like that. The machine can be connected by bluetooth, so they end up singing all kinds of songs. Hyungwon starts with Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey, and does his best to sound the most dramatic possible.

All night he keeps receiving texts from Hoseok, and even some pictures or videos. Hyungwon will update the older on the funniest ones, and sends back pictures and videos of them dancing around and singing in the karaoke. They’re having fun together even though they don’t know each other very well, and it makes Hyunwoo wonder why it took him and Kihyun three months to get there.

“They’ve made a friend!” Hyungwon laughs while the older is in the middle of Everybody by the Backstreet Boys. The older does his best to keep singing as he squints at the brown haired’s phone to see a video of Hoseok smiling at the phone and Kihyun sitting next to him, in the background, not looking at the camera, but at a red haired man sitting next to him. They seem to be laughing loudly at something, but the video is muted. “Apparently his name is Hoseok too.”

The older hums, going back to his song.

But it’s not too long after that when they’re singing Under Pressure together, the other receives another messages. They’re almost done with the song, so they finish singing it and then take a break.

“Give me your number.” Hyungwon asks.

“What?” The older frowns. “What do you need it for?”

He shrugs. “Hoseok’s asking for it. He wants to send you something I guess.”

The older thinks that’s weird. If he wants to send something for Hyunwoo to see, he can simply send it to Hyungwon, can’t he? He tells the other his number anyways as he knows it probably won’t make a difference to argue with drunk Shin Hoseok.

He receives a video almost immediately. He opens it, and Hyungwon is glues to his side as soon as the video starts playing. It starts with Hoseok grinning widely at the camera, clearly intoxicated, and wiggling his eyebrows before turning the camera to whatever is in front of him.

Which turns out to be Kihyun swaying his hips to Havana by Camila Cabello. In the background the other Hoseok is cheering him on and doing the same thing. Kihyun doesn’t seem to notice though, eyes closed and arms above his head. The camera goes back to film the blond’s face and he’s got a shit eating grin on before the video is over.

There’s a silence.

Then a text comes in and it reads “bet thst was e nough to srduce you ㅋㅋㅋ”.

Hyunwoo throws his head back with a groan. _“God.”_ Hyungwon is looking at him intently. “Why did he send me this?”

“‘Cause he thinks you’re dating and…” He trails out before adding “Kihyun looks really hot.”

The older glares at him.

“What? It’s true! I’d totally hit that if I wasn’t already hitting Hoseokie.”

 _“Jesus Christ.”_ The ravenette straightens up. “TMI.”

“Just admit you want his ass.” The other sing-songs, checking on his nails.

“I don’t want his ass, goddamnit. I’ve got an ass.” He says. “And my ass is fine.” He mumbles the last part.

“True.” Hyungwon nods.

_“What?”_

“But I bet his ass is better to squeeze.”

“Could we stop talking about my roommate’s ass?”

“Ha! He’s your boyfriend. You can’t run away from that.” The younger chuckles. “You guys are gonna fuck by the end of this year, I’ll bet all I have.”

“Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

They eventually give up on karaoke and shift to watching anything else on Netflix. It ends up being Friends.

They’ve watched half a season already when Hyungwon gets a call. Hyunwoo can hear Hoseok’s drunken yells from where his sitting.

“Yeah I’m going to pick them up.” The younger announces. “You’re staying?” He asks.

“Yup. Have fun.” He waves.

You see, when Hyunwoo pictures the boys coming back home, he doesn’t actually think it through. He knows for sure Hoseok is pissed, but he doesn’t consider the fact that Kihyun might be too.

Big. Mistake.

Hyungwon walks in with a practically asleep Hoseok hanging from his neck and a giggly Kihyun skipping behind.

“Hyung!” The youngest screeches. “Please help!”

Hyunwoo stands and goes to him, helping him drag Hoseok to their room, which is just basically his and Kihyun’s, but mirrored and with a different color pallette.

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of him from now.” The younger sighs. “You should go make sure Kihyun doesn’t run away, though.”

The older frowns, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

“Hyuunnnng.” Kihyun calls. “Dance with me, hyung, let’s dance.” He sing songs, moving his hips with his arms dangling on his sides. _“Wae yeppeun nal dugo gashinaaaaaa.”_ He sings, then dances to the imaginary beat.

“Kihyun-ah, you-”

“Shush! I’m mad at you.” The younger glares out of nowhere, raising a finger at the older as he’s still dancing. “I don’t wanna hear from you.”

The older sighs.

“I’ll get you some water.” He mumbles, and walks off to the kitchen.

When he comes back with the glass, the brunette isn’t there anymore. Hyunwoo almost walks out of the house to find him, but soon there’s music coming out of their bedroom.

“Do you like this song? I love it. I just downloaded it, it’s my new favorite.” Kihyun babbles when the other male walks into the room to find him doing the same dance he was doing in the video.

“Please drink the water.” The older asks, trying to look at the younger’s face and his face only. Then all of sudden the younger does a [ _slut drop_ ](https://pa1.narvii.com/6497/1a7437433f8c3fae47e2abe98b575c028839408b_hq.gif). It’d be hotter if he wasn’t so clearly drunk, but it’s not awful per se. It’s sexy enough to get Hyunwoo uncomfortable. “Kihyun.”

“I don’t wanna.” The younger pouts with a frown. “Let me dance.”

“It’s too late to dance. You should go to bed.”

That seems to get the brunette’s attention, because his eyes widen comically and a lazy grin forms on his lips. “That’s a great idea.” He giggles.

He walks towards the older and takes the glass on his hand, and downs it all before putting it on the bedside table. He turns to Hyunwoo once again and grabs his wrist, dragging him along, a few steps closer to the bed. The brunette then pushes the older onto the bed, making him lose balance and fall on his butt on the mattress.

“Stay put.” The younger orders. And god, he’s so cute. He grabs his phone and starts scrolling through it with his face scrunched up in concentration. It takes so long Hyunwoo wonders if he’s forgotten whatever he was going to do, but then “Ha! Found it.” He giggles.

Kihyun touches the screen and a new song starts playing.

And it’s Move by Lee Taemin.

“What’s happening?” The older asks, looking between the phone on the bedside table and the brunette in front of him.

“You’re a really bad boyfriend.” Kihyun complains, and starts taking off his socks, standing up, almost falling over, but he succeeds. “And I’m gonna show you how to be a good boyfriend, okay?” Kihyun whispers with a wicked smile.

The older is confused, until the younger’s hands go to the front of his pants, which makes him very alarmed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asks, reaching out for the younger’s arm, but Kihyun pulls back immediately.

“No touching!” He warns. “I’m gonna give you a strip dance and you’re gonna sit there and watch.” He says.

“Kihyun, I’m really not sure if this-”

“Shut up or I’ll kick you out.” The younger glares, and it sends a shiver down the ravenette’s spine. He nods.

Kihyun then starts dancing to the song and tries to open his pants. He gets it all undone after some struggle, and pulls them down swiftly, stepping down without losing balance, which is an achievement, judging the younger’s state.

Hyunwoo won’t admit it out loud, but Kihyun is just black boxers and that big oversized distressed white sweater is one of the cutest things he’s ever seen.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore. I’m cold.” Kihyun announces, and throws himself on the bed, next to Hyunwoo. “I feel dirty.”

“E-excuse me?”

“I need a shower.” The brunette explains.

“You’re not even sweaty. Just take the makeup off and go to bed.” The older suggests, patting the younger’s butt.

“I’m tired.” He complains. “Take my makeup off, jagi?” He asks in a cutesy voice.

“Are you trying to win me with aegyo?”

The smaller giggles, his face pressed against the mattress. “I don’t need to win something I already have.”

“Spoiled little shit.” The older sighs, but stands and goes towards the bathroom, where he knows the younger keeps baby wipes. When he comes back Kihyun is sitting in the middle of the bed with his legs crossed and droopy eyes. “You weren’t so tired two minutes ago.” The older chuckles.

The younger doesn’t respond, just sits there and waits. Hyunwoo rolls his eyes and goes to sit on the edge of the bed, one of his thighs fully on the mattress, and holds the younger by the back of his neck to wipe his face with one of the wipes.

“You’re so gentle.” Kihyun comments. There’s a silence, then the younger is snorting and giggling uncontrollably. “You’re treating me so well, oppa.” He says in a ridiculously high tone.

“Stop that.” Hyunwoo laughs. “I’m trying to clean your fucking face.”

“You sure you don’t wanna kiss my fucking face?” Kihyun asks seriously, eyes opening fully to look Hyunwoo in the eye. It’s not an invitation, he doesn’t look happy.

“Let me finish this and you can go to bed.” The older mumbles, concentrating on keeping his eyes at the spot his wiping, with the other’s heavy gaze on him. “I’ll leave you alone, then.”

“What do you mean?” He frowns. “Where are you going?” He asks. The older doesn’t answers, trying to wipe the younger’s jaw, but the brunette stops him with a hand around his wrist. “Where are you going to sleep?”

“On the sofa? Or maybe that divan in the piano room.” Hyunwoo tells him, taking the used wipes in one hand and the packet on the other.

“Are you insane? It’s cold outside.” The younger pouts again. “Sleep with me.” He whines. “I came home for you.”

“I don’t wanna bother you anymore.” The older says sincerely.

“Just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I want you to sleep on the sofa or feel uncomfortable in the house.” Kihyun whispers, his eyes start closing and opening due to how tired he feels. “Come to bed.”

The older sighs, and goes to Kihyun. He pulls the younger's sweater out and takes his earrings out before laying him down and covering him.

“I feel like a baby.” The younger whispers with a small smile.

“You kind of are.” The older says, taking off his shirt. “But that’s okay.”

He lies down next to Kihyun, and observes as the younger moves around, trying to find a comfortable position.

“You okay?” He asks.

Kihyun looks up with wide eyes, like he’d forgotten Hyunwoo was right there next to him. The younger doesn’t say anything, but hugs the older’s arm and lays his head on his shoulder.

After some silence, he mumbles. “I’m cold.” And stays like that.

Hyunwoo figures he doesn’t have much of a choice. He stares at the ceiling, even after Kihyun is long asleep, and after hours, sleep takes over him too.

It’s around four in the afternoon when he wakes back up, and it’s because he’s cold. Hyunwoo opens his eyes and takes some time to process why most of the covers are thrown off him. Then he realizes there should be a _body_ next to him.

The next thing that happens is the noise of someone being sick in the bathroom, so he practically jumps out of bed and powerwalks to the bathroom.

“Kihyun?” He calls.

The younger is curled in front of the toilet, pouring what seems to be all the contents of his stomach inside the bowl.

“Go away!” He cries, gripping onto the ceramic and making a loud hiccuping noise before heaving again.

Hyunwoo doesn’t listen to him. He goes to the younger and kneels next to him, using his hand to pull the brown hair back and the other to rub the younger’s back. “It’s okay, let it out, it’ll be over soon.” He whispers.

The younger whimpers in between puking, and keeps coughing and hurling onto the toilet even though nothing seems to be coming out anymore. “Make it stop!” He pleads, his stomach is probably hurting at this point.

“C’mon, sit back, relax. It’s over.” The older says calmly. “I’ll go get you some water.” He announces, closing the lid with a scrunched up nose and flushing the toilet.

“Don’t go.” Kihyun pleads. “Don’t leave me here to die.” He says.

He’s really pale, and panting heavily, looking like he can’t raise an arm for dear life.

“Let’s wash your face and brush your teeth, okay?” Hyunwoo whispers, holding onto the younger and pulling him up with him, helping Kihyun stand as he opens the sing and holds him so he can wash his face.

“The water is cold.” He whines.

“Good, it’ll help.” Hyunwoo says. He watches as Kihyun brushes his teeth as quickly as possible and rinses his mouth before splashing water on his face, whining at how cold it is. He hands him a towel, and lets him dry himself up.

“What happened?” He asks as he gives the towel back to Hyunwoo. “I can’t remember anything and my head hurts like a bitch.”

“You guys got home drunk. I don’t know about Hoseok, since he was with Hyungwon, but you were all kinds of things at the same time.” He comments.

“What did I do?” Kihyun turns around with wide eyes. “Oh my god, hyung, please tell me I didn’t do anything stupid.” He pleads.

The older stays silent, and that’s enough to have the younger sighing.

“Guys? I’m making breakfast.” Hyungwon calls from the kitchen. “I didn’t know you were awake.”

“We just got up.” Hyunwoo calls back, and the younger grimaces at the volume of his voice.

“Us too. Come to the living room, we’re eating there.”

“Okay!”

“Stop yelling.” The brunette complains. “My head _hurts._ And I don’t wanna go there, I’m cold. I wanna go to bed.”

“Well looks like you want a lot of things, none of which you’ll get.” Hyunwoo clicks his tongue. “Jump on my back.” He says, then turns around.

In any other situation, Kihyun would question it, maybe think it through, but right now this means he doesn’t have to walk, so he simply climbs onto Hyunwoo’s back and holds onto him as he loops his arms around his legs.

“Go, horsey.” He announces, pointing towards the door.

“I’m gonna drop you.” Hyunwoo threatens, going to the bedroom to grab the covers and then going to the living room, finally, and letting Kihyun get onto the couch next to a seemingly less hangover Hoseok.

“Hi.” The older waves.

“‘Sup.” Hyunwoo says back before going to where Hyungwon is.

The brunette groans, covers himself with the duvet and lets his head fall onto his hyung’s lap. “I’m dying.” He says.

“You’re not dying.” Hoseok says. “You’ll be okay. Eat something and then we’ll give you medicine, okay?” He says.

“Why are you dealing with this so well? You drank as much as I did.” Kihyun asks.

“‘Cause I’m better at getting hammered.” The older explains with a grin, running his fingers through the younger’s brown locks.

“Food is coming!” Hyungwon announces, bringing two bowls with him, Hyunwoo following.

They eat in silence, mostly, because everytime anyone tries to say something Kihyun starts whining, so they decide it’s better to keep quiet.

“I feel like shit.” Kihyun complains once they’re done, wrapped up in the covers and lying down on the couch with his cheek pressed against a pillow.

“Here’s some medicine for your head, jagi.” Hyunwoo approaches him with a glass of water and a pill.

“My saviour.” The younger whispers dramatically. He sits up with much more struggle than needed and takes the pill, chugging it down with water. “I need to pee.” He announces right after downing the glass.

“What do you expect me to do about that?” Hyunwoo asks, eyebrow raised.

The brunette reaches out for him with both arms and makes grabby hands at him. “Carry me.”

The older rolls his eyes.

“He likes to be babied, in case you hadn’t noticed in the three months you’ve been dating.” Hoseok comments from his end of the sofa, watching the scene with boredom.

“I have noticed.” The other guarantees. He leans down to pull Kihyun up then turns around and bends down so he can jump on his back.

The brunette isn’t actually heavy. He feels soft against Hyunwoo’s own firm body, and it’s basically like carrying a very grown kid.

“You’re the best horse ever, you know?” Kihyun tells him when he’s carrying him back from the bathroom. The older wants to drop him for being such a brat, but he’s at least happy they’re on good terms again.

“Does that mean you like riding him?” Hoseok asks from the couch.

Hyunwoo’s face heats up in record time.

“Okay, fuck you, hyung.” The brunette curses. “Ignore him.” He says to the man carrying him, who’s lowering so he can climb down and get to the couch.

“Sometimes I ask myself why I’m dating you.” Hyungwon says matter-of-factly to the blond.

“It’s because our love story is a Disney worthy fairytale.” The oldest grins at him.

“Oh yeah, can’t wait to tell my grandchildren the story of how uncle Hoseok fell in love with a man on a wig and didn’t notice.” Kihyun mutters sarcastically.

Hyungwon couldn’t be laughing harder.

“Stop that shit! I’ve got a headache.” Complains the brunette with a glare.

“Everyone’s in a bad mood.” Hyunwoo comments.

“I know how we can relax.” Perks up the brown haired male. He stands and goes into his bedroom, and a few moments later walks out with some packages in hand.

“Sheet masks?” Kihyun asks. “Are you trying to say my skin looks like shit?”

“No, I’m trying to say all of our skins look like shit, and we’re also ridiculously stressed for some fucking reason. So come on, fetch.” He says, throwing the masks on the smaller man’s lap.

“I want this one.” Hoseok says, grabbing the Neo from Kakao Friends mask before anyone else can.

“I’m gonna be Gudetama.” Kihyun says. “And you’re gonna be Pooh.” He tells Hyunwoo, handing him the mask.

“I guess I’m left with…” Hyungwon takes the last package. “Okay, I didn’t buy this mask.” He says, throwing a pointed look at Hoseok, who’s smiling guiltily.

“They were free.” He explains.

The taller sighs. “Okay, baby. Of course you’d get one.” He plops down next to his boyfriend. “I’m gonna be guy fawkes.”

“That’s great for you. Now you can go terrify citizens.” Kihyun comments, opening his package and putting the mask on his face. He then turns to Hyunwoo and helps him put his own mask on. “There, all pretty.”

The older squints at him. The brunette is clearly trying not to laugh. “You’re a spawn of satan.” He declares.

Kihyun tries his best to look offended with the big smile he has on while Hoseok wheezes behind him. “I’m just being helpful.” He says.

“How do I look?” Hyungwon asks.

They all turn to him.

“Worse than Hyunwoo.” Kihyun says.

“Why don’t you wrap yourself with this and shut up?” The ravenette suggests, taking the covers he’s brought for the bed and putting them around the younger’s shoulders, who’s giggling at him.

Hoseok lets his head fall back against Hyungwon's shoulder, and the latter has his head thrown back. Kihyun rests his own head against Hyunwoo’s and fumbles with the covers. They sit like that for twenty minutes.

“I feel like a new man.” Hoseok announces.

“I feel like a moist man.” Hyunwoo grimaces.

The brunette chuckles. “That could be your superhero name.”

Hyungwon starts rubbing his face so the toner will be absorbed well. “I hope this helps. My face’s been ridiculously dry with this cold ass winter. I need to look good to get paid.”

“Thank god that’s not a rule to everyone.” Kihyun jokes.

“Stop that.” Hoseok scolds.

The brown haired male takes all of the used sheet masks and throws them away before coming back to sit on the armrest next to the blond.

“Don’t start, hyung.” Asks the brunette, pulling the covers around himself tightly and sighing. “My headache is going away.” He smiles at Hyunwoo. “Thank you.”

“I only gave you the pill.” The ravenette laughs, amused.

“That’s not true. You’ve been helpful.”

The older knows he simply did the bare minimum, but smiles anyway.

“Did I tell you guys what happens in the new episode?” Hyungwon asks out of the blue. They shake their head, and he takes that as a cue to start recalling the whole thing, even though none of them are watching the series.

In the middle of the story, Hyunwoo leans in to brush off an eyelash that’s on the younger’s cheek, but Kihyun pulls back like he’s been burned. “Don’t kiss me.” He says, interrupting Hyungwon’s excited story-telling.

The older pulls back slowly, looking like he was slapped on the face.

The tension in the room gets a ton heavier.

“...I just remembered I gotta go take a shower.” Hyungwon announces. “Hoseok, come with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I need you to watch over to make sure I’m shampooing correctly. _That’s why.”_ The taller roars, pulling his boyfriend along with him by the arm.

“You’re still mad?” Hyunwoo asks.

Kihyun sighs. “We have to talk about this.” He says, and turns to the older, fully. “About yesterday.”

“Okay.” The ravenette nods, waiting for the other to start.

“I didn’t like what you said yesterday.” He starts slowly. “I didn’t like the things you called me and I didn’t like the way it made me feel.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I also didn’t like that you kissed me.”

“Why?” Hyunwoo frowns, already feeling bad at the memory of the things he said to the other.

“‘Cause it made me feel stupid! We were arguing and I was mad at you, then you kissed me out of nowhere just because my family was watching. And I kissed you back! Like the _idiot_ I am. What do they think of me now? I felt like I had no voice, like you can kiss me and I’ll forget you called me spoiled and irresponsible. ‘Cause I’m that simple.” He says, without missing a beat. “And you didn’t even apologize after. You let me stay locked up in the room feeling like I was a ragdoll or something like that.”

“No! That’s not what I wanted when I kissed you.” Hyunwoo tries to explain. “I panicked. I thought if they saw how we were arguing they might suspect of something, so I kissed you.” He says, taking the younger’s hands. “I was going to apologize, but you looked so upset and I wasn’t sure what exactly had got you like that. I didn’t want to annoy you even more than you already were.”

“You should have just said something. I didn’t know what to do. I was feeling stupid already, I felt like it’d be even more ridiculous of me to demand apologies.” Kihyun says lowly, staring at their hands.

“That’s not true. You deserve my apologies for the shit I said.” The older corrects him. “I’m sorry for being stupid, okay? You’re not spoiled, I understand you don’t like seafood because the smell bothers you, and that’s fine. And you absolutely can take care of yourself. I had no reason to say that, I was just angry. It was something I did in the heat of the moment, but I didn’t mean it.” He says. “I guess I just don’t have anything to complain about you. Nothing serious.”

The younger smiles at him. “Thank you.” He says.

“Do… Do you forgive me?” Hyunwoo asks.

The younger’s eyes widen in surprise. “Of course! We’re okay.” He chuckles. “Only…”

Hyunwoo perks up. “Yeah?” He squeezes the other’s hands in his.

“We didn’t get to celebrate our fake three month anniversary.” He says. “Sorry about that, hyung.”

The older shakes his head with a smile. “That’s fine. We can celebrate our real anniversary today.”

“Huh?”

“Three days today. Happy anniversary, jagiya.” Hyunwoo jokes.

The younger starts laughing, letting his head fall against Hyunwoo’s shoulder, his forehead resting there. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You like it.” Hyunwoo teases.

Kihyun raises his head with a fond smile. “I do.” He says.

And he’s not sure what happens in the next few seconds, but the younger probably doesn’t either. He lets go of one of his hands and holds Kihyun by the back of the neck, looking him in the eye, then leans in and kisses him. Kihyun responds immediately.

It’s just like the kiss from yesterday, but this time they’re both absolutely sure of it. The brunette holds Hyunwoo by his shirt, gripping it like his life depends on it, and trying to pull him closer than he already is.

The younger nibs playfully on the ravenette’s bottom lip, and sucks on it right after. It takes Hyunwoo two seconds to pull him to his lap, thighs squeezing on each side of his body. He holds Kihyun by the waist, and lets the younger do whatever he wants, kissing back lazily, tongues pushing and pulling in an almost erotic way.

He runs his hands up and down the brunette’s body, squeezing his thin waist whenever he runs his hands over it. Kihyun presses closer to him, their bodies flushed against each other, and tilts Hyunwoo’s head up with a finger under his chin so that they can kiss better. He brushes a thumb over the older’s nipple, and chuckles when his breath catches.

“I see you’re sensitive.” He whispers wickedly against Hyunwoo’s lips.

“I bet my ass you’re more sensitive than me.” He mutters back, squeezing the younger’s upper thighs.

“Why don’t you find out?” The younger suggests before going in again to claim the older’s plump lips. He holds his face in his hands as he falls into the bliss of tasting his mouth.

Hyunwoo feels the younger up as well as he can, squeezing his thighs, caressing his waist, tangling his fingers in his hair, pulling lightly just for a reaction.

The best one is, of course, when he brushes his fingers over Kihyun’s nipples and the brunette arches his back with a gasp.

“So I guess I was right.” The older chuckles.

“Never said you weren’t.” The younger snaps back, trying to go in for another kiss when his phone starts ringing.

The ravenette groans. “Who is it?”

Kihyun takes the phone in his hands and looks at the screen. “It’s Joshua.” He says.

“Don’t pick up.”

The younger shoots him a glare and answers the call.

“Hey, Shua! What’s up?” He says with a bright smile.

Hyunwoo looks at him with an expression that’s the impersonation of “Done”. Kihyun is still on his lap, and he’s still in the mood for making out, so he simply leans in and starts to distribute kisses down the column of the younger’s neck, nibbling here and there.

“O-oh? You wanna know if I’m busy? Why? It’s six in the afternoon already? I hadn’t noticed.” Kihyun tries his best to keep his voice steady, trying to push the older away with a hand. “Actually, I went out yesterday and I’ve got this terrible hangover.” He says into the phone. “Yeah, me and Hoseok. We’re a mess right now-” He cuts himself off with an airy moan when Hyunwoo sucks on his neck and brushes a finger over his nipple. “N-nothing, just pain. My head really hurts and stuff.” The brunette’s given up on the fight already, and is letting the older do whatever he pleases. “Yeah. I really have to go. I need to sleep it out, sorry. Bye Shua.” He waits for the other to answer before hanging up. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m just kissing you. Something wrong with that?” Hyunwoo asks innocently.

“Stop that.” The younger scolds. “Now, I’ve just remembered you didn’t tell me what I did yesterday.”

The ravenette chuckles. “You tried to strip for me.” He says.

“I did _what_?” Kihyun gasps. “You’re joking.”

Hyunwoo shakes his head.

“Remind me to never get drunk around you again.” He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Why? Wanna strip for someone else?”

Kihyun groans. “You’re a dick.”

“Thanks.”

They kiss again.

Even though they’ve only woken up two hours ago, after having dinner at around nine, they all sit in the living room together. Kihyun lies on his back and Hyunwoo is settled on his front, between his legs, with his face pressed against the younger’s sternum. It’s weirdly comfortable, more so when Kihyun plays with the other’s dark strands.

When they fall asleep like that, the other two don’t bother trying to wake them up, simply covering the both of them with the blankets they’d brought from the bed and turning the TV off.

They sleep uninterrupted for the whole night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: they do take a shower before falling asleep on the couch. I just didn't mention that.  
> Contact me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) if you wanna talk to someone. I'm here for you, we all are. You're not alone, okay?  
> Don't dismiss your mental health, please.  
> Take care, see you in the next update <3  
> Thank you guys for all the support you've been giving to this story btw, it means a lot. Every comment I receive is a reminder out there good things are waiting for me.  
> Face every chapter I post as a reminder good things are out there for you too.


	7. All In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long ;-;  
> Guys! I'm so frustrated. I wrote this thinking Kihyun had a nephew 'cause everyone kept saying the kid was a boy even thought my gut feeling told me it was a girl, and now I've found out it IS a girl... smh  
> Anyways in this story it's a nephew so whatever.  
> This is one of the chapters I was most excited to write ;-;  
> Hope you enjoy it!  
> This is about 8k  
> (I don't proofread things before I post them I'm sorry okay. Eventually I correct things but that's it)

 

 

> I’m all in for you, my body and heart  
>  My time and money, I’m all in  
>  I’m all in only for you  
>  From now on  
>  I’m all in for you

 

“Can you come over today?” Kihyun asks, fiddling with a pillow on his lap as he waits for the other’s answer, lying on the divan in the piano room with a blanket over his legs.

_“Not today, I’ve already made plans with my brother. Can I come tomorrow?”_

“Of course. Anytime. You can even spend christmas with us if you want, you know that.” He rolls his eyes. “Mom misses you like crazy too.”

 _“And I miss her.”_ Says the other dramatically. _“I’ll come tomorrow. I can’t wait to see hyung’s stupid face again.”_

“Well he sure can’t wait to see your stupid face either.”

 _“Tell me about this boyfriend of his.”_ Minhyuk whispers, as if anyone could hear him besides Kihyun. _“What’s he like? Is he better looking than I am?”_

The brunette whistles. “Do you want me to be honest?”

A pause. _“You can tell me that one last.”_

Kihyun laughs “Okay.” He gazes at the ceiling. “He’s nice. A little annoying, a bit like Changkyun, but more daring like you. He makes Hoseok-hyung happy though, very.” He scratches his cheek in thought. “He makes Hyunwoo feel comfortable too. Makes him company when I can’t. Honestly? I think he’s gotten along better with Hyungwon than with hyung.”

The blond on the other side of the line hums. _“You’ve dropped the honorifics already? Did you have sex with him?”_

“No, I haven’t. I just got used to doing it ‘cause we’re supposed to be dating. Though I still do it sometimes.” Explains the younger. “And anyways, he doesn’t seem to care much.”

_“Bet he’d kick my ass if I tried that.”_

“What are you trying to say?”

 _“I’m not trying to say anything. I’m_ saying _he’s whipped for you, for some reason. Probably ‘cause you make him food.”_

Kihyun stays silent.

 _“Uh...You didn’t snap at me. What’s going on?”_ Minhyuk questions. The other can easily picture the frown on his face.

“We kind of… Kissed.” Kihyun mutters.

 _“Like a full on kiss? With tongue and all?”_ Minhyuk noses in.

“Minhyuk! Oh my god.”

_“I can’t believe the kids were right.”_

“About what?”

_“About you two ending up having sex.”_

“We’re not fucking, Minhyuk. We just kissed.” He rolls his eyes.

_“Were you two alone when you kissed?”_

Kihyun, once again, doesn’t say anything.

 _“I knew this was a stupid idea.”_ He audibly sighs. _“I don’t want you to get hurt, Kihyunie.”_

“I won’t let him hurt me.”

_“Don’t hurt him either, okay?”_

The brunette looks down at the pillow again. “I won’t.”

 _“Okay, now let’s talk serious business.”_ Says the blond in a serious tone. _“How much hotter than me is he? This boyfriend guy?”_

The younger purses his lips in thought. “Not that much, but he sure is hotter than you.”

 _“I feel outraged. I bet Hyunwoo-hyung doesn’t agree.”_ Minhyuk says in an offended tone.

“Hyung probably thinks you’re hotter, but he also thinks I’m more good-looking than you.”

_“I’ve lost my one ally.”_

“I’ve been the ugly one of the trio my whole life, Minhyuk. Let me have this.”

 _“You’ve never been the ugly one, are you crazy?”_ The blond sounds annoyed. _“No one in their right minds would call your annoying ass ugly.”_

“Wow. Thanks.” Says the other sarcastically. “I kind of really hate you.”

_“I love you too, Kihyunie. I should go, my mom wants me to help her out with something. See you tomorrow.”_

“Okay. Bye Minhyuk-ah. Be careful with that life of yours.”

_“I will be.”_

They hang up.

The younger lies there for a few seconds, thoughtful. He thinks about Minhyuk,. If his friend is gonna end up being luckier than he is and finally finding someone. He knows the blond is seeing someone already, and that it might end up working out for him. He wonders what it must feel like to actually date someone. If it's like what he has with Hyunwoo, but something more certain, where he's not afraid to do something that will freak him out, whenever he feels like it.

He sits up and throws the covers off his legs and waist before standing. He stops there, looking forward without a objective in mind. Not exactly.

Not that he has to, in this room. He can do whatever in here. There's the piano, which's always been keeping his secrets. Like how his grandma used to play it, but he only got an interest for it at age eleven when a cute boy named Yoongi had played for him.

Or when he first made out with Yoongi, four years later, in that same room. That seemed like a relationship that would've worked, but Yoongi ended up having to move back do Daegu.

He also came out to Minhyuk in here, when he was sure the blond was important enough to him that he could confide in him his most precious secret.

It feels like the piano knows something he doesn't know.

The brunette sits at the bench in front of it, and lifts the keyboard cover to look at the keys. They're clean. A lot more than you'd expect.

He hasn't played in months. But the boys are outside watching TV and the walls in this room are pretty thick.

So he presses the first key, and starts playing the [ first song he can think of ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO8tWyMT4FM&feature=youtu.be&t=8).

The first time Kihyun ever listened to this song was after another hook up that didn’t end well. It’d happened last year. He had come to Minhyuk’s house at three in the morning crying after being thrown out by a guy that had treated him nicely, for what ended up being getting laid. He had been sitting on his best friend’s sofa, waiting for him to prepare the tea, and the TV was on. The song played in a commercial for a drama called Goblin, and it had caught his attention first thing.

He went home that night and looked it up, making sure to watch all the episodes that had been released. The song had stuck in his mind since then, and it felt like a natural step to learn how to play it.

The melody echoes in the room, and it makes him feel lighter. Trying not to think about the things he is and isn’t feeling right now. Trying not to think of his parents, his brother, Hoseok or Hyungwon. Trying not to think of Hyunwoo.

Easier said than done.

He doesn’t know why he’s so preoccupied about the case in point. They kissed, so what? They’d planned this. They had _trained_ for this. Of course, it was supposed to be done when someone was watching or at least around, and it was supposed to be a peck, not a full on makeout session. And it sure didn’t feel like they were doing it for someone else.

Maybe this is just what it feels like to kiss someone just for the sake of kissing, not with the finality of having sex.

He wouldn’t be able to tell.

Kihyun scoffs at himself, paying attention to the keys as he scolds himself mentally for it. He keeps up with the act of feeling sorry for himself. That won’t change anything, and he knows that, but he can’t help it when there’s not much he can do about other people’s preferences. He never seems to be a preference, and it hurts in a way that leaves him to keep pondering on it when he’s awake late at night, in the nights Hyunwoo is sleeping somewhere else, with a girl that he met somewhere, probably. He never thought of asking.

He doesn’t like the small twinge he feels on his chest at the memory of those days.

He tries to breathe in slowly and then out, letting the melody he’s playing wash out the worries. He can think about all of that later. For now, he just wants to feel.

Music is one of the only things he’ll put everything aside for.

The song’s soon over, and lets his hands rest against his lap as he revels on the climate that’s left in the room.

There’s the sound of soft footsteps. He doesn’t look to see who’s got in. The door closes and the person approaches him, sitting down next to him on the bench.

“Hi.” Says the brunette quietly, still staring at the keys.

“Hello.” Hyunwoo says back, sitting far too close to Kihyun, looking at him in curiosity, his breath fanning over the younger’s skin. “This is the first time I’ve ever heard you play.” He adds.

That’s true. Kihyun had already stopped playing for a couple of months when Hyunwoo moved in with him. There’s not a piano at their home anyways, just an upright brown one at the coffee shop. He used to play on it a lot, back then.

He simply nods at the statement.

The older shifts his gaze from him to the keys, and observes the place where the younger’s fingers had been before, causing that beautiful melody to happen.

Kihyun notices this, and brings his hands up once again to brush his fingers over the keys, not enough to emit any noise, but enough to make him feel something. He thinks for a few seconds, and remembers what was the [ last song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZdioPcm5uY) he learned how to play before taking a break from it.

He presses the first keys carefully, trying to regain the confidence on it. Hyunwoo is slightly startled by the action, and looks back at the younger’s face. He pouts when he concentrates on something, and the ravenette had already noticed that before, but this time around the vision of it makes him feel funny inside.

The brunette plays, and this time not only to himself. He feels like this song fits Hyunwoo, like it’s for him he’s playing, and maybe he is. If it were anyone else he would’ve stopped playing and tried to run from them. With the older, though, he just wants to play more. He wants to play for him.

This is the first time Hyunwoo’s seeing him play, and he’s playing for Hyunwoo, above all.

The song fills the room like it’s air itself, and it’s both suffocating and relieving to the both of them. It’s an intense feeling, and at every note the older feels the magnetic pull coming from Kihyun becoming stronger. He wants nothing more than to submit to it. Wrap his arms around his body and stay there. It’s weird, and something he had never felt for a guy before. It’s similar to what he’s felt towards his old girlfriends, but completely different all the same. He feels like even if he had liked guys before, this being Kihyun everything would still be incomparable.

Hyunwoo doesn’t know where all of it is coming from, and it scares him to no end.

But god, Kihyun is beautiful. The perfect amount of both pretty and handsome, the perfect size to fit Hyunwoo’s arms. His profile is stunning. His pretty pointy nose and the curve of his lips, the slight frown of his eyebrows as he concentrates on the song he plays. He wants nothing more than to reach out to him, have him pressed against his own body, but doing so right now might mess up the moment. It feels wrong to stop him before the song is over.

Meanwhile, the brunette looks down at his fingers to make sure all is fine, and there are butterflies on his stomach from the burn of Hyunwoo’s gaze on him. He can feel the _want_ coming from the older’s body, the way he looks him up and down and watches him play. He knows. He just _knows._

He shouldn’t be feeling this for his roommate.

His fingers dance over the keys as he reaches the end of the song. The image of the brunette’s hands moving like that might be engraved in Hyunwoo’s memory forever.

When it’s over, Kihyun is shivering from the gaze, and a bit reluctant to look up at Hyunwoo. He does anyway, and meets the ravenette’s eyes, supporting the gaze with a blank look. His strong eyebrows just a bit frowned, like he’s trying to decipher something quite difficult. It makes him look even more handsome.

“You look really beautiful.” Hyunwoo mutters, his gaze flicking from the younger’s eyes to his lips.

It’s so intense Kihyun feels like he needs to take a step back to breathe.

“I bet I don’t.” He jokes, smirking lightly.

The ravenette’s gaze is fixated on his lips for three whole seconds before he looks the younger in the eyes and says “I promise you do.”

He laces his arms around Kihyun’s waist, and it should be awkward since they’re sitting side to side, but it isn’t.

This time the younger leans in first, his hands cupping Hyunwoo’s jaw as he presses their lips together. Their tongues tangle around each other first thing, teasing and getting what they want. Kihyun doesn’t know how he should feel, if he’s supposed to feel turned on or entranced by how passionate it is. Slow and careful, like Hyunwoo’s scared he might break Kihyun.

He likes it. He likes that it feels like he’s being taken care of. Sometimes being in the receiving end is nice, refreshing.

He feels infatuated, completely enchanted by the older’s lips on his, his hands slipping under his sweater to feel his skin, running up and down his back softly, ticklish even.

“Hyung...” Kihyun whispers, pulling back. Hyunwoo opens his eyes to look into his again. He then pulls back to stand up. The younger watches as he walks around the bench and reaches for him, lacing his arms around the brunette’s upper body and helping him stand up and turn around, pushing him back until Kihyun’s butt touches the keys, emitting a loud noise. The older is hovering over him, and Kihyun’s got a hold of his biceps with his hands, staring into his eyes with his foxy ones slightly widened. He’s there, waiting for the ravenette to do something.

So Hyunwoo claims his lips again. He kisses Kihyun with as much passion as he can, pecking his soft lips a few times before letting his tongue meet the younger’s. He wants to stay like this forever, just feeling Kihyun against him, the younger letting him do whatever he wants. The older tries to lift the brunette’s legs so he can get between them, but the keyboard of the piano isn’t firm enough for Kihyun to sit on. So Hyunwoo does the _obvious_ thing anyone would do in this situation: He lifts the younger and carries him, Kihyun’s legs wrapped around his waist.

The brunette gasps in surprise, breaking the kiss. He then chuckles softly, his forehead pressed against Hyunwoo’s, and his arms around his neck. The ravenette lays him down on the divan and gets on top of him, still looking at Kihyun like he’s caught in a spell.

Hyunwoo wonders if it’s possible for anyone to kiss Kihyun and not fall in love with him. He wonders if that’s what’s happening to him.

“I don’t know what to say.” Hyunwoo confesses, more to himself than to Kihyun, but the younger hears him anyway.

Cupping the older’s face yet again, he whispers “You don’t have to say anything.” Before sealing their lips.

The kiss is slow, almost shy, soft lips and warm tongues meeting, hands caressing and bodies touching. It’s like they can’t get enough. The pace is vehement like they’re teasing each other, soft touches here and there. Kihyun’s arms around Hyunwoo’s neck, hands going down his back every now and then, gripping, and the older’s hands around his waist, feeling his hips and squeezing his thighs.

The ravenette kisses the corner of his mouth, then goes down to his jaw, and trails teasing kisses down his neck, stopping where his neck meets his shoulder to suckle on the place, nipping the skin there. Kihyun is left breathless, head tilting back to let Hyunwoo do whatever he wants, thighs squeezing his sides. His whole body shivers at the slightest touch. This is all new to him. The closest he’s ever gotten to this type of slow and teasing contact was making out with some random straight-y boys back in high school.

Hyunwoo grinds down on him, and everything in the younger’s mind is long forgotten. His legs weaken and fall open wider and he tries to grind up back against Hyunwoo, fingers digging against the skin of his back. The older starts steadily rolling his hips against his, and if Kihyun had been trying not to get hard until this moment, he definitely isn’t anymore.

Maybe he shouldn’t trust his own judgement right now, but he kind of really wants Hyunwoo to fuck him.

He knows he’s not going to, but he can still want.

“Call me pretty again.” Kihyun asks as the older sucks on the spot right under his ear. “Hyunwoo.” He pleads.

“You’re not pretty, Kihyun-ah.” Hyunwoo whispers in his ear, and despite the words, Kihyun shivers. “You’re beautiful. And handsome. You’re all the synonyms possible.” He says, and pulls back to look into the brunette’s eyes. He notices how flushed Kihyun is, maybe from the words, maybe from the friction of their hips moving against each other. Either way, he wants to see more. “You’re gorgeous, dazzling, stunning, cute, exquisite, charming, _fine.”_

“Stop!” The shorter blushes, covering Hyunwoo’s face with his hands, the older’s nose peeking out from between his fingers. “Stop that.” He whines.

Hyunwoo chuckles, and balances his weight in one arm so he can lift the other and take the younger’s wrists in his hand. He moves them away from his face slowly and kisses his palms before settling Kihyun’s hands on his chest and leaning in to peck his lips. “Handsome.” He mutters.

“You too.” Kihyun tells him, breaking his wrists free to cup Hyunwoo’s face. “I mean it.”

They share that same look for a few more seconds before the taller pushes himself away, trying to ignore his hard on, as well as the younger’s. He pulls Kihyun up and sits in front of him. “We should go. I came in here to get you, we’re going to the main house.” The older explains. “We’ve been here for longer than I anticipated. We’re lucky the other two didn’t come looking for us yet.” He chuckles.

Kihyun grins. “They probably know what was going down in here.” He says softly.

“Let’s go?” Hyunwoo asks.

The younger leans in and seals their lips for a couple of seconds. “Let’s go.” He whispers with a smile.

The both of them stand up and try to smooth out their clothes and hair, and try to conceal their erections, before walking out of the room to find both Hoseok and Hyungwon dressing in warmer clothes, waiting for them.

“Hi, I was wondering if you guys intended on leaving today?” The older asks.

Kihyun smiles, embarrassed. “Sorry, we’ll just change and we can go.” He answers.

Hyunwoo follows him into their room so that they can change into something warmer, more suited to protect them from the cold from the ten minute walk outside.

“You’ve done a real job on my neck.” Kihyun mutters. “I’ll have to wear a turtleneck.”

“At least it’s winter.” The older grimaces. “Sorry about that.”

The other shakes his head. “You don’t have to be sorry.” He says as he pulls a cream colored turtleneck over his head. “There.” He says to himself.

They’re about to walk out when Hyunwoo stops the brunette with a hand around his wrist and hisses a “Shit.”

“What’s up?” The younger asks, looking up at him.

“There’s one the turtleneck won’t hide.” He explains, getting closer and brushing the tip of his fingers over the place right under his right ear. “Right here.”

Kihyun groans. _“Son Hyunwoo.”_ He hisses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ll have to ask the boys for makeup to cover that up.” He adds, walking out before the older can say anything else.

“Can we go?” Hoseok asks when they walk back into the living room.

“Just…” Kihyun starts. “Do you have like, a full coverage foundation or something like that?”

“Why? Your face looks just fine.” Hoseok frowns.

“Well…” Hyungwon adds with a scrunched up nose.

“Yah!” Kihyun points at the taller, offended. “Anyways, I need to cover up a hickey.”

“Where?” The brown haired asks. “Aren’t you wearing a turtleneck?”

“You didn’t have any hickeys earlier.” The blond comments with an amused smile.

Kihyun can _feel_  the way Hyunwoo is trying to disappear.

“Yeah, but now I do. Right under my right ear. So are you going to help me or what?” Fumes the brunette.

“Or what.” Hyungwon says.

“Right under my right.” Hoseok says with a dumb smile as if he’s tasting the words in his tongue. “L-M-A-O.”

“Okay, yeah, I have foundation.” Hyungwon rolls his eyes at his boyfriend, standing up. “Wait a second.”

The three of them wait in silence for some time before Hoseok breaks it. “So did you enjoy leaving that hickey on him?” He asks Hyunwoo.

Kihyun violently throws a pillow at him.

“Hoseokie, have you seen that small red bag I brought?” The brown haired male yells from the room.

“It’s next to my phone charger!” The blond male answers.

“Where the hell is your phone charger?” The younger asks.

The oldest sighs and stands to walk towards their room in the hopes of helping Hyungwon find the bag. Kihyun and Hyunwoo share a look.

“Here.” Says Hyungwon, walking out of the room. “Let me put it on you.”

The brunette shows him where the hickey is located, and the younger covers it up after a nasty comment about how dark it is.

“I’m gonna put it on twice ‘cause just once won’t cover it up that well.” The taller mutters, dabbing with the makeup sponge against the skin of the other’s neck. “There, all set.” He announces.

They wait for Hyungwon to put away the foundation and bag before putting on shoes and coats so they can walk to the other house.

“So goddamn cold.” Mutters Hyungwon from under the scarf wrapped around five times around his long neck.

“You get cold easily.” The blond reminds him, reaching for the younger’s gloved hand with his own.

Kihyun can’t contain the smiles that grows on his face as he watches them intertwine their clothed fingers. Hyunwoo’s arm is warm around his waist, and the moment is nice, even if it’s cold. Just for those few moments the younger can pretend he hasn’t got any other worry in life than whether he and his friends are happy.

“Careful not to slip.” Hyunwoo mutters, walking with firm steps next to him.

“I could say the same. If you fall with your arm around me I’ll come crashing down with you and you’ll crush me.” The younger says, chuckling, the tip of his nose red.

The ravenette goes to move his arm away, assuming that’s what Kihyun’s asking, but the younger stops him and puts his arm back around him. “Doesn’t mean I want you to let go.” He says adds softly. Hyunwoo’s lips are a pretty shade of dark pink from the cold, and he wants nothing more than to kiss him. “Just don’t fall.”

They arrive at his parents’ house, and knock on the door almost desperately, wishing to get away from the cold.

“Hi!” Soona is the one to open the door. She grimaces from the cold air coming from outside and steps aside quickly. “Good afternoon. Come in.” She proceeds to say, rushing them inside into the warmth of the house. “I can’t believe you boys came here walking in the cold.” She scolds, her accent getting stronger. “If you had called someone would’ve picked you up.” She says.

“You sound like the perfect mom, noona.” Kihyun jokes, kissing her forehead. “We’re fine. It’s just snow.”

“That one doesn’t look fine.” She says, pointing at Hyungwon.

He really doesn’t. The taller is shaking so much he could win a contest against a chihuahua. “I’m f-f-fine.” He babbles, trying to look as well as possible.

“Who’s at the d- Oh my god! You guys turned poor Hyungwonie into a popsicle!” Mrs. Park comes into the living room to receive them. She crosses her arms and shakes her head. “Kihyunie, why did you let him come by feet?”

“I always come by feet and you never say anything.” The brunette points out.

“G-guys, I’m fine.” Hyungwon insists.

“Well, that’s because you grew up doing that.” His mother shighs. “Frankly…”

“Baby, you should take your coat off.” Hoseok is telling his boyfriend, who shakes his head desperately. “It’s cold due to the snow. You’ll warm up faster if you take it off.” He’s saying, holding Hyungwon’s still gloved hands in his.

“I’ll make you all tea. Help the boy onto the couch.” She tells them before walking away.

“I told you so.” Soona says after she walks off.

“Aish.” Kihyun rolls his eyes. He turns to the older men and waves his hand. “You both help him. I’m gonna go see my baby.” He says before running off into the house.

“That boy…” Soona sighs, going after him.

Both Hyunwoo and Hoseok eventually convince Hyungwon to take the coat, gloves and scarf off and sit down on the couch. He takes the cup of tea with a thankful expression and hold it close to his body, Hoseok’s arm around him.

“Look who’s here!” Kihyun announces happily, walking into the room with Dohyun in his arms. “Everyone came to see you, baby boy!” He says in a small voice, nudging the baby’s head.

Hyunwoo’s heart is about to burst. He excuses himself after an awkward handshake with the little fella and runs to the kitchen.

He doesn’t notice right away, but Mrs. Park is in there making the tea. Of course she would be, that’s the obvious thing. She said she’d be here, didn’t she?

“Ah… Eomani, I-” He starts.

“Hyunwoo-ah, my dear, why don’t you stay here while I take these cups of tea to the boys outside?” She suggests, looking at him with smiley eyes. “Here, have yours, I’ll be right back.” The small woman puts one of the white cup with red details all over on his hands before walking out.

The man doesn’t know why exactly he was asked to stay, but stands there sipping on the tea, waiting for Kihyun’s mom to walk back in. Soon, she does.

“You’re not very good with children, are you?” She questions with a sympathetic smile.

He laughs shamefully, shaking his head. “I love kids, but I’m awkward and I don’t have full control over my strength so I’d rather not risk it.” He explains.

She nods. “Be careful with all that strength around my son, he better be in one piece next time I check up on him.” Mrs. Park jokes, threatening him with a finger pointed towards his wide chest.

“Of course.” He answers, raising both his hands in playful surrender.

“Do you wanna help me make dinner?” She asks after a moment, when he finishes the tea and puts it on the sink.

Hyunwoo nods.

“I’ll teach you how to make kimchi.” She says with a tilt of her head, motioning for the man to approach her and get a pot on the top shelf.

“Should I sing a baby song to him?” Hyungwon asks as Hoseok blows a raspberry against Dohyun’s stomach and the baby squeals in delight.

“Do you know any baby song?” Kihyun asks him.

“I know songs from when we were kids.” The taller answers.

Kihyun shakes his head. “Then no.”

“Wow, this is so well done, Dohyun. I’ve never seen a kid so good at making a Play Doh… uh, thing.” Compliments the blond, staring at the grey dough in his hands. “Really nice indeed.”

“Aga, you’re such a bad liar.” The brown haired male chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.

“I’m not lying!” The older sputters. “How dare you, Chae Hyungwon.”

“Noona, I think he needs to get his diaper changed.” Kihyun tells Soona, scrunching up his nose.

“Oh, I’ll…” She starts, but Wonhyun interrupts her by standing up and reaching for his son on Hoseok’s arms,

“I’ll do it.” He tells her, smiling.

Kihyun can’t stop the smile that grows on his face.

Then he smells food.

“Eomma! Why didn’t you ask for help with dinner?” He calls, standing from where he was sitting next to the other two on the floor.

“It wasn’t needed, honey.” She answers.

Kihyun frowns, walking into the kitchen. He spots Hyunwoo doing what seems to be cutting up radish. He’s got his back to the younger, and he notices how wide they are. His mom turns to look at him, and smiles. “Hyunwoo’s been helping me already.”

That’s when the ravenette notices his boyfriend’s in the room. He turns to look at him and smiles. “Hi.”

“Hi…” He answers half-heartedly.

“Need more helping hands?” Hoseok jestes as he walks into the kitchen with Hyungwon right behind him.

Kihyun ignores them.

“You.” ***** He says, slowly. The other four widen their eyes and stare at him, probably trying to figure out why Kihyun is talking like that. “Thank you, jagiya.” He says now quieter, stepping closer to Hyunwoo. He wraps his arms around his torso and lets his forehead rest against his nape. The older visually relaxes when he realizes the brunette wasn’t trying to offend him.

“You’re welcome.” He whispers back.

Hoseok and Hyungwon look towards Mrs. Park, who seems to be on the verge of tears, and then share a look.

It’s been a dramatic week.

The rest of the evening comes by and they have dinner at the house before returning to the cottage, and the whole night is a blur to Kihyun, because, sadly, all he can see is Hyunwoo.

That’s why when they’re in bed ready to sleep, he turns away from the older and lets himself tear up a little.

 

*****

 

“Hyung, you have to calm down.” Kihyun says, sitting on the couch with his feet perched up on the coffee table.

“Is he acting like that ‘cause of Minhyuk?” Hyunwoo asks when he walks in with the newly made bowl of popcorn, handing it to the younger before sitting down next to him.

“Yep.” The brunette nods. “I don’t even know why.”

“What if he hates Hyungwon?” The oldest babbles, gripping his hair as he paces up and down the hall. “How am I gonna live with that?”

“Why would Minhyukie hate Hyungwon?” The ravenette asks, stuffing his mouth with popcorn as he lets Kihyun put his legs on his thighs instead of the coffee table.

“‘Cause Hyungwon’s hotter than he is.” Explains the shorter.

“I don’t agree.” Hyunwoo says.

“I knew you wouldn’t.” Kihyun chuckles, shaking his head.

“Guys, this is serious business!” The oldest groans, gripping his hair. “What if they don’t get along well?”

“Hyung.” The brunette starts, looking at him with a now serious expression. “Look, if I like the brat, then Minhyuk will probably like him too. You know we just want you to be happy.”

“Guys, what’s going on?” Hyungwon’s sleepy voice echoes into the room. He’s standing by the door frame, still in the clothes he slept in and hair messed up. “What time is it?”

“One in the afternoon, we let you sleep in.” Hyunwoo answers him.

“Why is Hoseok going nuts?” He asks, yawning mid sentence.

“Minpuppy is coming and he’s afraid he won’t like you.” Kihyun explains.

Hyungwon hums, half-heartedly acknowledging the situation as he rubs his left eye.

“Didn’t we watch this episode last week?” Kihyun asks the man next to him, pointing at the TV where She Was Pretty is on.

The older nods. “You said you wanted to watch it again ‘cause last time we didn’t pay attention, remember?” He answers, mumbling due to the popcorn in his mouth.

Kihyun blushes when he remembers the day. “Oh, yeah.” He whispers.

“Why didn’t you pay attention?” Hyungwon asks with a smirk, suddenly paying attention to them.

“None of your business.” The shorter snaps.

There’s a loud knocking noise, and they all look towards the door to see that Hoseok has banged his head against it.

“That can’t be healthy.” The ravenette mutters.

Hyungwon sighs and walks up to the blond, stretching out his arms and looping them around his torso, resting his head against his shoulder, his front pressed against the older’s side. He doesn’t say anything, particularly, but Hoseok appreciates the affection. A simple way of saying ‘don’t worry, it’ll be okay’ and ‘I’m here with you’.

Then the doorbell rings.

“Fuck!” Hoseok curses out loud. The men on the couch watch as he does the ridiculous thing to do and lifts Hyungwon as if he’s made of paper, and runs into their room with him draped over his shoulder, slamming the door behind them.

“Jesus Christ.” Kihyun mutters, exasperated, standing to open the door and reveal Minhyuk. “You should have seen the shit show that just took place here.”

“I work with you, Jooheon and Changkyun. There’s plenty of shit show in my life already.” The blond answers, stepping inside and taking off his coat and scarf before lacing his arms around the shorter.

“Jooheon doesn’t work with us.” Kihyun observes, returning the brief hug.

“No, he doesn’t get paid, but whenever Changkyun’s on shift he works in his place.” Minhyuk says, a wide smile on his lips.

“That’s slavery.” Adds Hyunwoo, patting the other on the back. “Hey Minhyuk-ah.” He smiles.

“Hey hyung.” The shorter smiles, high five-ing him. “Where’s Hoseok-hyungie?” He asks, taking off his boots.

“That’s what I was talking about. He screamed, threw Hyungwon over his shoulder and ran into their room.” The brunette tells him.

“Ahh, so _that’s that_ noise I heard.” Minhyuk laughs. “I’m gonna go surprise him. What are the chances of me opening the door and walking in on them sucking each other’s faces?”

“Very low since Hoseok is freaking out and Hyungwon just woke up.” Hyunwoo answers.

“Considering those factors, I’d say very high.” Kihyun adds.

The blond male simply shrugs and walks towards the closest room, opening the door without knocking.

Hoseok screams again.

“Hyung!” The younger says cheerfully, entering the room and leaving Kihyun and Hyunwoo’s line of sight.

A silence follows.

“Are they dead?” Hyunwoo asks.

The shorter walks towards the room and stops in front of the door frame. Hyungwon is sitting on the bed and Hoseok and Minhyuk are hugging each other. Very tight as it seems.

He feels emotional.

So he walks up to them and tries to hug both, and they happily welcome him.

“I missed being around you, idiots.” The oldest murmurs.

“Don’t cry, hyung, for god’s sake.” The shorter threatens.

“Yeah, if you cry Kihyunie here’s gonna cry too.” The taller blond says.

Kihyun pulls away. “Who invited you here?” He asks, crossing his arms.

Minhyuk laughs in that way that annoys Kihyun _so much._ “You did.” He says.

“Ugh.”

“By the way Hoseok was freaking out I wasn’t expecting this.” Hyungwon comments in a bland tone, like he wants to go back to bed.

Minhyuk looks like at him and stares for a few seconds before turning his whole body in his direction and offering a hand. “I’m Lee Minhyuk. Best friend number two and now the only straight one.”

“You’re not best friend number two, we’ve discussed this.” The brunette insists.

Hyungwon takes his hands and shakes it. “Chae Hyungwon, very gay. Also an actor.”

The taller blond nods.

Hoseok and Kihyun share a look, Hyunwoo finally enters the room.

“Do you love hyung?” Minhyuk asks.

“Yes.” The brown haired answers without missing a beat.

“Are you gonna break his heart?”

“No.”

“Do you think you’re hotter than me?”

“Yes.”

“I like him.” Minhyuk announces. “Get your skinny ass up. You and Hoseok-hyung are taking me to the house.” He waves his hands. “I wanna see my family.”

The brunette would correct him if he wasn’t actually family. “Aren’t we coming with? Why are you leaving us behind?” He asks. Hyunwoo approaches them.

“Nah, you and hyung could use some time together. Maybe talk about stuff.” The blond smiles acidly, but Kihyun’s the only to notice.

“I agree with Minhyuk-ssi. You should stay behind.”

“Why are you talking like we’ve been fighting? We’re fine.” The ravenette asks, a slight frown.

“Don’t question me, hyung, respect my choices.” Minhyuk tells him.

“Get out the three of you, I’m gonna change.” Hyungwon mumbles. “And go to the house to be fed by Mrs. Park since no one in this house offered me any food.”

“Drama queen.” Hoseok teases.

“You like it.” Hyungwon shoots back, standing to get clothes.

The three remaining males all walk out and wait and Hyungwon puts on what’s approximately five layers of clothing after taking a quick shower.

“Let’s go, I’m starving.” He says as he passes them sitting on the couch, Minhyuk and Kihyun kicking each other’s feet.

“Finally.” The blond rolls his eyes.

“Let me live.” The taller complains, wrapping himself up with his coat and scarf and putting on his gloves, the other two mirroring him.

“Please don’t tell me you’ll be bickering all the way there.” The oldest sighs.

“Don’t worry, hyung, I drove here, I’ll drive us there.” Minhyuk assures him.

The brown haired male’s eyes twinkle.

“I wanna date this one now.” He announces.

Hyunwoo chuckles from the couch.

“Let’s go before I change my mind.” Hoseok takes them both by the wrist after everyone puts on their shoes and pulls them outside.

Kihyun whistles. “What do you wanna do now?” He asks.

The older shrugs, watching his socked feet as he wiggles his toes. “I don’t have any ideas. You?”

The younger doesn’t answer for a second, but stares at the wall next to the front door, a few meters in distance from him. “Do you wanna go out in the snow?”

A frown finds it’s home between Hyunwoo’s eyebrows. “Why would you want to do that?”

Kihyun shrugs. “Looks pretty, life’s short.”

A pause.

“Okay.” Hyunwoo nods.

“Let’s go get dressed then.” The younger says, moving to stand up, but Hyunwoo holds him in place by circling his his wrists with his hands.

“Wait.” He says. “I wanna do something first.”

Kihyun feels his whole body heating up.

“What?” He asks. Hyunwoo arches his eyebrows. “Do you really wanna sit here and do exactly what they think we’re doing?”

Hyunwoo chuckles, pulling the brunette closer to himself. “Do you care?” He whispers with a mischievous smile. “Do you really care, when it feels so good?”

The younger’s whole body shivers, and he lets himself be pulled onto the older’s lap, with half-lidded eyes, and wraps his clothed arms around his neck. “I don’t.” He answers, honestly.

The older wraps his arms around his waist and brings their faces closer together until their noses brush against each other. He presses their foreheads together and stays there for a moment, eyes closed.

“What are you doing?” Kihyun chuckles.

“I feel at ease.” Hyunwoo explains.

A small smile forms on the younger’s lips, and he grips the back of the other’s shirt as an automatic response to the feeling that overcomes him. “I feel a little stupid.” He admits with a silly smile.

“Why?” Hyunwoo asks, opening his eyes and pulling back slightly to look Kihyun in the eyes.

“‘Cause I thought you were going to kiss me.”

“Well I _am_ going to kiss you. Be a little patient.” The ravenette teases, pinching his thigh. Kihyun makes a noise of complaint, but Hyunwoo silences him with a kiss, finally.

And kissing Hyunwoo is so fucking _addictive_ that Kihyun already wants to push him down on the couch and have him right there.

He settles for just sitting here and doing this, though, knowing he shouldn’t play his luck like that.

 

*****

 

They’ve been sitting there for a little while now, chatting happily as Hyungwon’s sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, having lunch right there. Dohyun sleeping soundly in Minhyuk’s arms, thankfully, for his tired parents, and Hoseok and Mrs. Park on each of his sides.

“Kihyun tells me work is doing good but I always worry about the both of you. Is it really okay?” She asks him, tone mild since the baby is asleep. “What about Changkyun?” She questions.

“Work is good. It really is. We have fun there, like we’re not even working at all. People like going there to relax and they love when Kihyun cooks or when I make the special drinks, all of that. Changkyunie’s doing just great too. When he finishes college we’ll offer a full time job in case he’s interested. But in the meantime we’ve been thinking about hiring someone else to help out.”

“That’s great, dear!” She smiles fondly, putting a hand on her chest. “You’ve grown so much, my kid. I bet your family’s just as proud as we are.”

“I hope they are.” He jokes back.

“Of course they are, stupid.” Hoseok pokes him.

“Is lunch okay, Hyungwon-ah?” The older woman asks. The man on the floor looks up with shiny eyes and stuffed cheeks, nodding. “Good.”

Minhyuk looks down to make sure Dohyun is comfortable. He loves this baby.

“I’ve been meaning to say this, but Kihyunie’s been around all the time.” Mrs. Park starts, looking rather reluctant. “Now that you’re both here, and you too Hyungwonie, it’s the perfect opportunity.” A pause. “When he called me to tell he’d be bringing over his boyfriend, I was a little scared. I was worried, most of all. I wasn’t sure about it all, because Kihyunie didn’t sound sure on the phone. Everything he said sounded unsure. The way he was talking like he was trying to convince himself it was a good idea…” She sighs, then smiles. Two of the three men in the room hold their breaths, Hoseok leans in curiously, clueless. “Now that I’ve met Hyunwoo and seen them together I can’t express how happy I am to see he’s found someone who loves him so dearly and cares for my boy like I’d want anyone to.”

“How do you know they love each other, eomani? I’m sure they haven’t said it yet.” Minhyuk questions.

Mrs. Park pats his knee. “A mother always knows.” She smiles. “Just like I knew Hyungwon and Hoseok were perfect for each other the second I saw them together.”

“Ah… Eomani.” The shorter blond grunts, falling back against the couch.

“Shh, Dohyunie’s asleep.” Minhyuk scolds. Hyungwon chuckles from the floor.

“What about you, Minhyuk?” She asks.

“What? What about me?”

“Have you been seeing someone? Something I need to know.”

The blond falls uncharacteristically quiet.

“Oh my god.” Hoseok whispers. “You’re dating!”

“I’m not _dating,_ I’m just… seeing this girl.”

“Tell me everything.” The older presses.

“What’s her name? Where is she from? What does she look like?” Mrs. Park asks.

“She’s foreign. She’s not from here but she was raised here so she’s practically korean.” He starts. “Her name’s Naomi.”

“That’s a pretty name.” Hyungwon comments. “Where is she from? The United States? Is she European?”

“Isn’t that a japanese name?” Mrs. Park asks. “Soona has a friend called Naomi.”

“She’s from South America.” Minhyuk tells them. “She’s from Brazil.”

A silence follows.

“Wow.” Hoseok says.

The taller blond glares. “Don’t make a comment that’ll get you hurt, hyung.” He threatens.

“What does she look like?” Hyungwon asks. “Does Kihyun know her?”

“He’s seen her once or twice, but not that much. He likes her though.” He tells them. “She’s really pretty. She’s got these high cheekbones and her nose has a pretty curve and the tip is round-ish, and her eyes are big and pretty and she’s got really soft nice dark brown hair. She’s really pretty.”

“You said pretty about a hundred times in that sentence.” Hyungwon observes.

“Can’t a man live?” Minhyuk rolls his eyes.

 

*****

 

“God, hyung, you’re so slow.” Kihyun teases as he walks ahead of Hyunwoo.

“You’re walking fast for no reason at all. The snow won’t run away.” The older says.

After ten minutes of making out on the couch, they were finally able to pry themselves away from each other and get dressed and ready to go out on the snow.

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” Kihyun asks.

There’s a brief silence, and then Hyunwoo snorts. “Go away Anna.” The older mocks a higher voice.

“Why are you like this?” The brunette sighs, shaking his head.

The older starts laughing harder at the younger’s frustration. “Sorry.” He says.

“Stop spoiling my fun. Come on.” The younger motions at him, handing him his phone when the taller walks closer. “Take pictures of me making snow angels.” He tells him.

Kihyun finds a spot he thinks will result in the best snow angels, and lies down on his back, making sure not to disrupt the snow too much yet. Then he moves his arms and legs to form the silhouette of the angel. Hyunwoo takes pictures of him, then takes out his own phone to picture the moment, taking advantage of the fact the younger has his eyes closed.

He puts his phone back in his pocket, then the younger calls for help. “I’m freezing please take me out of here.” He calls desperately.

Hyunwoo walks up to him and pulls him up, brushing away the snow while the younger wraps his arms around himself to retain warmth.

“At least it looks pretty.” Kihyun tells himself, looking at the angel. “Why don’t you try?”

“I’m wearing too much fabric.” He explains.

The brunette takes a look at him. “You really are.” He says. “You look like a giant bear.”

_“Thanks.”_

“That’s not a bad thing!” Kihyun laughs. “You look cute.”

“You look cute too.” Hyunwoo rolls his eyes. “Anyways, now what?”

The younger shrugs.

They stand there looking at the angel for a few seconds, then the next minutes talking about what how they played with their friends as kids when there was snow outside.

“It looks so pretty, doesn’t it?” Kihyun asks with a smile, looking around at the small road and the houses around them, and the trees and cars, everything covered in a white sheet of snow. _It must have been nice to grow up in a place like this._ Hyunwoo thinks. Then he glances at Kihyun, all pink lips and pink nose and pretty fair skin, looking like the perfect porcelain doll.

“It’s beautiful.” He agrees with a smile, looking at the younger rather than at the landscape.

He feels weird. Like this moment is the decisive moment where he’s sure of something he doesn’t really know what it is.

Or maybe he doesn’t wanna tell himself it took him only a week and seeing the younger with a red nose for him to fall in love with Kihyun.

“Kihyun-ah.” He says.

The younger turns to him, still smiling. “Yes, hyung?”

His smile could light up the dark days Hyunwoo has sometimes.

“I-” He starts, but is cut off by something hitting his arm. “What the hell?”

“Yes!” Minhyuk cheers, high fiving Hoseok.

“They’re attacking us!” Kihyun gasps. He immediately drops to his knees and starts forming a snowball. “Cover me, hyung.” He says when a ball Hyungwon throws flies right past his head. “This is war.” He says darkly before sprinting towards the other three and throwing a snowball right at Minhyuk’s chest.

The older sighs. He guesses it’s better like this.

That’s how five grown men spend their afternoon: having a snowball war until it’s too cold for them to want to stay outside for another minute.

If you ask them who won, Kihyun would say he and Hyunwoo did, but the other three wiped their floor with both their asses.

They went back home, got cleaned and changed, and watched a movie together before Minhyuk had to go back home with the promise of checking back on them, and hugging Hoseok so tight it’s surprising none of his ribs are broken.

Kihyun kisses Hyunwoo one last time before going to take a shower, and that’s it. He doesn’t kiss him anymore, only smiles at the older when they’re laying down, almost asleep.

He’s scared of kissing Hyunwoo, both because doing it on their bed might cause him to want more, and because he doesn’t want to look into his eyes after kissing him and try not to think of what that look means.

He’s so fucked up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dangshin (당신) is the second person singular polite form, a formal way of saying ‘you’. It can be considered offensive unless used in a specific situation. Dangshin can also mean 'dear' as in the affectionate term that married couples call each other.  
> -  
> Remember feedback is always appreciated and I love you all <3 <3  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat)!


	8. Shine Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> I'm not gonna justify why I took so long and all of that because you guys probably just want to read it  
> And please, do read it, because this is a big one  
> Have fun, more at the end notes  
> (I'm not letting you know the word count lmao good luck)  
> As usual this wasn't proofread
> 
> I've only been able to hold up and finish this thanks to these people  
> First of all Will ofc bc she and I are the same person  
> Here you go Val, thank you for the death threats and for screaming in showki and jookyun language along with me, Kieran for reading it (finally, cough) and just being the best in general, Mi for being the sweetest about my stories and just an overall sweet person <3, Naomi for being sulky for two whole months about the lack of update, Yousra, who I did not know had read all my stories, and last but not least: Fatima for being hype all the time and reading this fic every night before bed (that is not healthy at all fvbrbfvet) I really appreciate you all <3  
> DISCLAIMER: NOTHING AGAINST WHO’S INTO WATERSPORTS, that was just comic relief  
> Also, did you know korean homes have their heating system under the house? Because they do.
> 
> EDIT 031418: I've put quotes of the songs in the beginning of the chapters to help you understand why they were given those names; the connection between the title and the content of the chapter.

 

 

 

> Smile for me again just like that  
>  Spread your arms and come into mine  
>  Tightly be held in my arms  
>  I wanna fill up the empty spaces with you  
>  I’ll shine on you

 

Kihyun wakes up not being sure exactly what time it is or what’s happening in the world right then and there. One thing he’s sure of, though, is that Hyunwoo’s lying right next to him, sound asleep. He can feel the older’s body heat next to him and hear his slow steady breathing. He pries his eyes open and glances at the other through his lashes. A small sleepy smile grows on his lips, and a feeling of endearment, just like the one he felt back in the train trip at the sight of Hyunwoo’s swollen sleepy face, overtakes him.

The ravenette is lying on his back, but his head is turned to Kihyun just in the slightest. He frowns in his sleep, and it always makes the younger wonder how he hasn’t got wrinkles because of that.

He lies there, on his side, still sleepy and cozy under the covers, looking at the older’s pacific semblant, daydreaming about him waking up and taking Kihyun in his arms to kiss him good morning. Of course in his dreams no one has morning breath, so it’d be a pleasant kiss.

Hyunwoo must feel the heavy gaze on him even if he’s asleep because, only a few minutes after Kihyun, he opens his eyes slowly, frown deepening. The brunette doesn’t take his eyes off him. The taller male is looking around as if trying to understand where he is and what’s happening, and it makes Kihyun wonder if he’s awake or still sleeping. But even if he’s sleeping, Hyunwoo turns his head back to the side and looks Kihyun in the eyes, not even questioning why he was awake looking at him, and brings his hand up to brush his knuckles softly against his cheek. The younger’s eyes flutter closed at the affection and he can’t help the small smile that places itself on his lips.

“What time is it?” The older asks with a rough voice from sleeping.

“Don’t know. I just woke up.” Kihyun whispers, not in the mood to talk.

Hyunwoo moves like he’s thinking of standing or maybe reaching for his phone on the bedside table, but Kihyun’s having none of it. He’s comfortable, and he doesn’t want to get up yet.

“No!” The younger calls softly, pulling the older to turn back to him. “Don’t leave.”

“I was just gonna see what time it is.” He says, but doesn’t resist to the younger cuddling up to him, wrapping an arm around his torso and fitting his head under his chin.

“Don’t.” Kihyun says. “Let’s just stay here for a bit.” He whispers, nails lightly scratching the older’s lower back under his shirt.

Hyunwoo can’t say no to that. He wraps his arm around the younger too, and closes his eyes. Kihyun breathes in the older’s scent, liking the way it makes him feel safe. Hyunwoo smells like home. Not like Gwangju, but his small apartment in Seoul that has become his home too, along with his roommate. He runs his hand up the other’s back and hugs him tightly. The older male doesn’t know why he’s being hugged, but rubs his hand up and down the brunette’s back anyways, and kisses the top of his head.

“Are you okay, jagiya?” The older asks after some time.

Kihyun nods against his chest, sighing in contentment. “I’m cold.” He tells him.

It’s not a lie. Hyunwoo noticed how cold Kihyun’s nose had been when he first pressed his face onto his chest. But he was asking about the fact that the younger male had been crying in bed the previous night and two nights before that too. He probably thinks the older hasn’t realized, but he has.

“I don’t actually want to get up. Like, ever.” The younger mumbles. “Is that bad? I’m so comfortable.”

“Your mom’s not gonna be pleased when you don’t show up to the christmas party because you didn’t want to get out of bed.” The older says, his fingers rubbing the younger’s lower back.

“Don’t bully me.” He scowls, moving his hand and pinching the older’s nipple over his shirt.

Hyunwoo’s breath catches and he tightens his arm around the other, his hand going down and squeezing Kihyun’s butt as a response. “Don’t.” He warns.

“You’re not making a very strong point of wanting me to stop by groping me.” Kihyun moves his head to look at him. “If we didn’t have morning breath you’d be in so much trouble.” He sings.

“Of course.” The older comments. “Then we should go outside, shouldn’t we?

“What, out in the snow?” The younger frowns and his eyes widen, his fingers clutching onto the fabric of Hyunwoo’s shirt in uneasiness.

It makes the ravenette chuckles and bring his hand from the younger’s lower back to rest it on top of the smaller hand on his chest. “No. I meant outside. The kitchen, maybe the bathroom, the living room and etcetera. Out of the room.”

The younger lets out a relieved sigh. “Well then.” He starts. “Okay, we can do that.” Kihyun nods.

“Will you let me see what time is it now?” Hyunwoo questions, already pulling away to reach his phone. The brunette lets him go, snuggling onto the sheets by himself and closing his eyes with a satisfied hum.

Almost twelve o’clock, the time on the phone reads. They don’t really have to get up, since they’re on holiday and there’s a chance the other two people habitating the place are probably still asleep. Hyunwoo puts the phone back down and turns to Kihyun. The younger has his eyes closed, as if he’s asleep, but in reality he’s just resting his eyes. He looks peaceful and cozy. He makes Hyunwoo never want to leave this bed again.

_Control yourself._

The ravenette moves on the bed, shifting closer to the man beside him, and kisses his lips briefly.

Kihyun’s eyes snap open and he covers his mouth with a hand, exclaiming “Hyung! I’ve already told you I have morning breath.” Staring into the older’s amused eyes, right by his face.

“It was just a peck, you coward.” Teases the older, poking Kihyun’s side.

“I’m not a coward for having hygiene, asshole.” The brunette presses his palm right onto the other’s face and pushes him back.

“Why do you like doing that so much?” Hyunwoo questions, getting out of bed.

“What?” Kihyun frowns once again, stretching out his arms with a lazy whine.

“Putting your hand on my face.” He explains, reaching out and pulling Kihyun out of the comfort of the bed. The younger whines once again, but this time in protest.

“I… Actually have no idea? I’ve never thought about it before.” Confesses the brunette, standing up against his will and wrapping his arms around himself to retain his own warmth. “I didn’t even notice I do it a lot until now. Does it bother you?”

Hyunwoo shrugs. “Not really. I think it’s kinda cute.” He confesses.

“Thanks, I guess.” The younger mutters. He pulls out a sweatshirt from his suitcase and puts it on. When he glances at the mirror his face heats up at the hickeys that haven’t faded yet. He’s lucky he remembered to cover everything with makeup before Minhyuk came over yesterday, or he’d still be receiving a lecture from his friend.

Both walk out of the room and go straight to the bathroom to wash up. Then they go to the kitchen. Hyunwoo goes to the rice cooker as he’s told and Kihyun approaches the fridge, trying to figure out what to make the for breakfast-slash-lunch.

“Do you think we should just eat those triangle kimbap?” Kihyun asks thoughtfully.

“You don’t eat Kimbap.” The older points out as he closes the rice cooker and turns it on.

The younger shrugs. “I can make myself something else.” He says.

“I’ll make you rolled eggs.” The older says, moving from the counter and towards the cupboard to get a friend pan.

“You don’t have to.” Kihyun tells him.

“I know I don’t.” Answers the ravenette. “Let me do it.” He adds.

The younger simply stares at him for w few seconds as he moves around to get eggs, ham and vegetables.

“Okay.” He gives in. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, babe.”

Kihyun finishes getting the kimbap ready first, since they are bought ready, he just has to get a plate and heat them. Hyunwoo takes his time making the younger’s rolled eggs, and the brunette sits on the counter as he watches his boyfriend cook something for him.

Hyunwoo looks at the shorter briefly and chuckles. “You comfortable there?” He asks with a smile, looking back at the pan.

“You look hot.” The brunette comments casually.

The older male’s muscles go rigid. The younger hasn’t said something like that since they started dating. Before it wouldn’t have affected him at all. Maybe a scoff at best, but _now_ … Hyunwoo feels his body warm up inappropriately. He feels a pull towards Kihyun. A need to get closer and touch him everywhere.

The way the other male visibly tenses and doesn’t say anything makes Kihyun wonder if maybe he’s said something wrong. He might have crossed a line and made the older uncomfortable. The shorter starts worrying, and it lasts a few seconds because Hyunwoo finally says something.

“You look hot too.” He says, and looks straight into the younger’s eyes as he adds. “Really.”

Kihyun smiles shyly and looks down at his feet, his legs raised in the air as he’s sitting on the counter.

“Why haven’t you been wearing your glasses?” He asks quietly.

The other curses quietly as he turns off the stove. He had been hoping Kihyun wouldn’t notice. “I… forgot them at home.” He admits.

Kihyun sighs. He gets a plate from the cupboard behind his head and hands it to the older. “You’ve been wearing your contacts all the time?” He asks in concern. “That can’t be good for you.”

“Sometimes I just go bare for an hour or two.”

“That can’t be good either.” Kihyun points out.

“I’ll be fine.” The older dismisses it. “I’m done with your eggs.” He tells him.

The brunette hums. “They look good.” And it’s true. Hyunwoo’s done a real good job of whisking the eggs and vegetables and of rolling them at the right time. “Thank you for making them.”

“Sure.” The older smiles.

“We should get you some backup glasses for me to carry around.” The younger thinks out loud, getting the things to the dining table so they can eat. The ravenette looks at him with a puzzled look. “So you won’t be hopeless if you either lose or forget yours.” He explains. “I don’t like the idea of you wearing contacts all the time. It’s not good for your eyes. It’ll strain them.”

Hyunwoo smiles fondly at him. “You sound like a parent.” He says.

“I’m sorry if I care.” The younger mumbles, huffing.

“I like that you do.” The older pokes his side. “You make me feel safer.” He finishes.

Kihyun doesn’t say anything to that, but smiles to himself. They sit down in a comfortable silence and start to eat.

It’s already half an hour later, Hyunwoo watching TV lying on the couch with his head on Kihyun’s lap and the younger sitting with his feet propped up on the coffee table, all wrapped up in blankets, and scrolling through his phone, when Hoseok wakes up. He walks out of the room rubbing his eyes and looking around. He’s got that I-just-woke-up pout on and squints at every trace of sunlight that seeps into the house.

“Good morning.” Kihyun says without looking up from his phone. “There’s triangle kimbap for lunch and we still have some banana milk in case you’re feeling adventurous.”

The blond grunts as an answer and drags himself to the kitchen with a scowl.

“It’s like having a kid, really.” The younger mumbles to himself.

“I thought Changkyun was your kid.” The older says, looking up at Kihyun’s face.

“I can have more than one kid.” He explains, still not looking away from the phone, and Hyunwoo takes it as fair, remaining silent and returning his attention to the TV.

Five minutes is enough to have Kihyun taking that back.

“Oh my god, I’m disowning Changkyun. He’s not my kid anymore.” The younger says, exasperated. “He’s also fired.”

Hyunwoo sits up, concerned, and turns his body towards Kihyun. “What happened?”

“He texted me the grossest and most disturbing thing he’s ever texted me. And that’s coming from _Changkyun.”_

“Tell us what he said!” Hoseok yells from the table, mouth full of kimbap.

Kihyun looks down at his phone and raises his eyebrows. “He said, and I quote ‘Imagine fisting-’, don’t look at me like that Hyunwoo, that’s not the worst part. Anyways. ‘Imagine fisting, but with the ball of your foot.’” Kihyuns stops with a sigh, then continues. “‘What would it be called?’” He finishes.

There’s a moment of silence in which Hyunwoo’s stoic face falls into a disturbed expression.

“What _would_ it be called?” Hoseok says out loud.

“I can’t believe I gave this kid all my love and care and he returns it all like this.” Kihyun groans, rubbing his forehead.

“It could be called ‘footsting’” Hoseok keeps going. “Like fisting but with a foot.”

Kihyun turns his head around and looks at the blond male with disbelief. “What the _fuck_ are you doing?” He questions.

“Being helpful.” The oldest shrugs.

“To whom?”

“Anyone who might be interested.” The blond snaps, stuffing his mouth with more food. Kihyun rolls his eyes.

“I wanna watch a movie.” Hyunwoo announces. The younger is running his hands through his hair now, and looks down to pay his full attention to the older.

“What movie?” He asks, running his hands through his bangs and displaying his forehead.

Hyunwoo shrugs. “Not sure.” He says. “Do you have any in mind?”

The brunette chuckles. “I don’t. You gave the idea.”

“We should watch Harry Potter.” Hoseok suggests.

Kihyun clears his throat. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion?”

Hyunwoo pinches his thigh, and he yelps.

“Who put their whole arm up your ass?” The oldest questions, unimpressed. He stands up, ignoring the younger’s angry scowl. “I’m gonna go wake my boyfriend up.” He announces, taking his dishes to the kitchen before going towards the bedroom.

“I hate him.” The brunette mumbles.

“You do not.” Hyunwoo grins, poking the younger’s cheek.

“Shut up.” He pulls weakly on the older’s strands as a threat-less warning.

“Do you wanna watch Harry Potter?” The older asks.

“Okay.”

They choose the movie they want to watch - It ends up being first one - and sit through it. They stop twenty minutes in, when Hyungwon finally gets up, to make popcorn. When they settle again the other two are making them company, Hyungwon having his lunch on the couch.

“What Hogwarts house do you think you’d be in?” Hyunwoo questions.

“Griffindor.” Kihyun says.

“No way.” Hyungwon snickers. “You’re a slytherin all the way.”

“Am not!” The shortest complains. “Why am I from the evil house?!”

“See, that’s a misconception.” Hoseok bids in. “It’s not the evil house.”

“But you’re kinda of a meanie.” Hyunwoo tells him.

“I’m gonna break up with you again.” The brunette sings.

“See?” Hyungwon laughs.

“Fine. I’m gonna be from the evil house and defeat all of you.” He says. “Hyunwoo would totally be a Hufflepuff though.”

“Nah. Hyung is a Gryffindor. Hoseok is the Hufflepuff here.” The brown haired male says.

“Are we not gonna keep watching the movie?” Hyunwoo asks, but is ignored.

“Why does Hyunwok get to be from the cool house?” Kihyun asks with indignation, accidently bumping his hand against the ravenette’s forehead, who still has his head rested on his lap. “That’s unfair!”

“Hyunwoo isn’t scared of anything.” Hoseok explains.

“I beg to differ.” The brunette says.

“Keep acting like a little shit and I’ll never kill bugs for you anymore.” Hyunwoo threatens, reaching up to pinch Kihyun’s nipple.

The younger yelps, then proceeds to cover his chest with his hand and slap the older’s arm.

“Hoseokie is the loyal and friendly baby here.” Hyungwon announces, even though no one asked, and smiles happily at his boyfriend.

“Whipped.” Kihyun scoffs.

“As if you weren’t.” The brown haired male scoffs, stabbing a kimbap triangle with a chopstick.

“I’m not whipped.” The shorter frowns.

“You both are. It’s ridiculous how neither of you notice it.” The oldest reinforces his boyfriend’s words.

“Anyways, I feel like Hyungwon could be a ravenclaw.” Hyunwoo says out of the blue. “But I don’t know exactly why.”

“Because you want to have one person from each house?” Kihyun raises an eyebrow.

The ravenette chuckles. “Hadn’t thought of that, actually.”

“Who gives a kid such a powerful stone anyways?” Hyungwon asks, looking at the screen. “Why the hell would anyone do that?”

“Are you regretting having come along yet?” The brunette asks Hyunwoo, an arm on the backrest of the couch and the other hand playing with his hair.

The other shakes his head with a smile.

“When should we go to the other house?” Hoseok asks. “Are we gonna go help with something or should we just go when it’s time for the party?”

Kihyun raises both eyebrows in thought.

“I’m gonna go to help with the food I think. You guys can stay.” He answers, pursing his lips.

“Okay.” Hyungwon shrugs.

“I’m coming with you.” Says the ravenette, not taking his eyes away from the TV. He reaches up blindly for Kihyun’s hand, and the younger gives him his hand which was resting on the back of the couch for his to hold. He’s noticed before the older likes to play with his fingers, and that’s exactly what he does when he has the brunette’s hand in his.

“Why?” The younger asks, watching the older’s profile, how his face looks from this angle.

“I wanna be with you.” He answers simply, and five seconds later he seems to notice what he just said and his eyes widen. Kihyun chuckles.

“I’m gonna puke.” He hears Hyungwon comment.

“You can come if you want.” He says with a smile, running his fingers through his black locks.

Hyunwoo turns on the couch so he can look at the younger’s face.

“Come here.” He says, pulling on his hand to get him to bend down.

The brunette blushes. “Hyung-” He starts.

But Hyunwoo doesn’t let go, and insists a bit more until the younger gives in and leans down to kiss him. It’s a little weird due to the angle of their heads, but still nice, and he cups Hyunwoo’s face with a small smile against his lips.

“You taste like tuna.” The younger pulls away wrinkling his nose.

“Who cares.” Mumbles the ravenette, and pulls him in again to kiss him, sliding his tongue into his mouth.

“And he says he’s not whipped.” Hoseok comments. Kihyun flips him off without pulling away from the older’s lips.

It’s nice. _Really_ nice. The way Hyunwoo’s lips feel on his are almost perfect, and Kihyun almost doesn’t want to let go.

“We should get up now if we’re gonna go to the house to help my parents.” He tells the other, nibbling on his lower lip.

“Are you sure we can’t just stay here and make out ‘till we gotta go the party? I bet your mom wouldn’t mind.” He whispers back.

Kihyun chuckles, kissing the tip of Hyunwoo’s nose and straightening up. “She might not care, but I do, so we absolutely have to go.” He explains. “Now get off my lap before I push you off the couch.”

“You couldn’t move that massive ass man even if you had all the determination in the world.” Hyungwon jokes, a lazy smile on his lips and an empty plate in front of him.

The brunette ignores him.

Hyunwoo sits up and stands in a second. He starts walking towards the bedroom to change, Kihyun on his heels. “Do you even wonder why it’s so cold at night even though the heater is on?” He thinks out loud. “Like, how did your grandmother survive this?”

The younger chuckles. “When grandma lived here there was only one big bedroom and the piano room, and she had a fireplace she’d light it up every night.” He explains. “It was fun. Sometimes me, Minhyukie and hyung would roast marshmallows in front of it.” Kihyun smiles at the memory.

“Remember back in our flat when you told me you used to play video game at your grandma’s house?” Hyunwoo questions, closing the bedroom door behind him. The younger nods. “I thought you had said you still have it?” He takes off his old shirt as he says that, looking around for another one, more presentable.

The brunette tries to look away so he won’t blush. He can’t believe he no longer manages to see his roommate shirtless without blushing. What has he done to himself? “I do. It’s in a box somewhere.” He answers, picking up a dark red sweater from his suitcase. “Why?”

“Does it still work?”

“I think so?”

“Why haven’t we played with it then?” Hyunwoo asks, finally. Kihyun looks at him and they hold the stare for a few seconds before the younger shrugs.

“I forgot about it.” He says honestly. “We can play with it tomorrow.” The brunette promises.

It might be enough, because after that Hyunwoo simply finishes changing and says nothing more. They walk out of the room and Hyungwon is lying on the couch and Hoseok is off somewhere Kihyun assumes is the bathroom.

“We’re leaving.” He tells the brown haired male on the couch. “Will you be here when we come back later?”

Hyungwon nods. “We’ll only go to my parents’ house after midnight. My family is a bunch of night owls.” He explains.

“So you’re staying for the party then?” Hyunwoo asks, and the younger male nods again.

“Okay then, we gotta go now.” The brunette says. “Don’t burn the house down while we’re away.” He calls over his shoulder as they walk towards the front door.

“Can’t promise anything.” Hyungwon shouts back.

And just like that, they leave.

“They do know they’re in love with each other, right?” Hoseok asks, taking Hyungwon’s dirty plate and chopsticks and taking them to the sink, returning a few moments later to his boyfriend moving to sit on the couch instead of the floor, looking at him with a smug smile, his knees pulled up to his chest.

“I hope they do.” He answers with a sincerity Hoseok doesn’t catch. “I hope they know they’re annoying too.”

The blond snorts. “Aw, come on.” He starts. “Hyunwoo is not so bad.”

That has Hyungwon giggling, looking up at the other who’s standing behind the couch and laughing along.

“Why are you so mean to your best friends?” He asks, moving his hand up to cup Hoseok’s face and caress it. The older smiles lovingly at him.

There’s a notification sound, and Hoseok chuckles. “Speaking of the idiots.” He takes his phone out and walks around the couch to sit next to the taller, who watches him curiously. “Minhyuk’s texting me.” He explains. “Oh, and it’s about his girlfriend?” He says as he reads it.

“He said she isn’t his girlfriend.” Hyungwon reminds him.

“Yet.” The blond scoffs. “Details.”

The younger rolls his eyes.

“Hey, listen to this.” Hoseok says with a smile. “He’s saying she sent him a porn video and asked him if he recognizes the song playing in the background.” He explains. Hyungwon frowns, and he continues. “Apparently she really liked it and wants the name.” He keeps going. “And Minhyuk added _‘I think she’s the one’_.” He drops the phone to his lap. “I’m surrounded by idiots.” Groans the older, throwing his head back.

“Says the guy who fell in love with a crossdresser.” Hyungwon sneers.

Hoseok glares at him. “Not my fault both you and Dodo are so hot.”

“Well, one thing I know.” The brown haired male says. “You’re never having sex with Dodo.”

There’s a loud offended noise, and the blond is pushing him on the shoulder. “Rude!”

“You’re such a kinky fuck, Hoseok.” The younger laughs as he covers his face.

“Am not. I don’t even wanna fuck Dodo, I’m happy enough fucking you.” He smirks.

“You need a fucking filter.” Deadpans the brunette. “No pun intended.”

The blond male doesn’t answer as his phone rings again, but he shoots Hyungwon a warning look that makes the other snicker.

“Oh god.” The older grimaces. “Minhyuk’s texting me about pee kink.” He moans.

The taller perks up and leans in to look a the phone screen. “Oh my god, is he into it?!” He asks with an incredulous and disgusted smile, like a five year old boy who enjoys gross things like eating bugs.

“God hopes he doesn’t.”

“Aw, don’t kinkshame.” The younger says, resting his chin on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you have a hidden pee kink.” Hoseok begs. “I mean it.” He pleads.

“Are you telling me you wouldn’t like it if I peed in you while I fucked you?” The taller asks, trying to keep a straight face.

“You better pee in the toilet, bitch.” Says the blond with a serious expression.

Hyungwon bursts out in laughter.

The older laughs quietly next to him as he keeps texting Minhyuk, his boyfriend falling backwards onto the couch from how hard he’s laughing.

“You better pee in the toilet.” He’s repeating between large intakes of breath and exaggerated laughter.

“It wasn’t even that funny you moron.” Laughs Hoseok, poking the younger’s belly. “You’re ridiculous.” He shakes his head.

Hyungwon finally gets himself to calm down after a few more seconds. He lies there panting, a small smile on his face, and a hand resting on his belly.

The older observes him. He has his eyes closed, hair still messy from sleep and Hoseok running his hands through it last night. He looks so soft and cute, wearing a long sleeved navy blue shirt and black sweatpants. The older tells Minhyuk to get a job and throws his phone on the coffee table before turning around and crawling over Hyungwon, who opens his eyes, unimpressed, to watch as his boyfriend makes himself home lying between his legs with his face in the crook of his neck.

“You’re so cute.” He mumbles against his neck, lips tickling the younger’s skin. The brown haired male wraps his arms around the shorter when he’s settled.

“You think so?” Hyungwon asks teasingly. “Why don’t you date me then?” He mumbles, lips pressed against the older’s temple.

“Shut up.” Hoseok laughs, raising his head to look at the other. “You look like a mess right now.”

“Well that’s not nice is it.”

“You’re a mess of a frog.”

“I hate you.” The brown haired throws his head back and laughs, pushing Hoseok on the chest. “If I’m a frog then you’re those big dogs who think they’re still a small puppy and try to fit inside a shoe box.”

The older simply laughs and leans in to capture the other’s lips. Hyungwon holds his face in his hands gently as they mold together, long legs moving to wrap themselves around the other’s lower back. Hoseok bites his plump lower lip, earning a satisfied hum from the younger.

“I love your frog face.” The blond reassures, and Hyungwon starts giggling.

“Least romantic thing to say right now.” He laughs.

The older shrugs with a smile and kisses his boyfriend again, both smiling. He pecks his lips repeatedly until Hyungwon makes a noise of complaint, then he pulls back just to see his pretty face, eyes closed and thick lips waiting to be kissed again, and chuckles at the frown that forms when he takes too long to lean in again. He finally does though, and sucks on the brown haired male’s lower lip. He loves kissing Hyungwon so much.

Hoseok still remembers the first time they kissed.

They were out on a date, their second, and it was nearing the end of the night. The older watched as Hyungwon told him a story about his job, and all he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss him, but didn’t know how to. He wasn’t sure if it’d be moving too fast, how guys do this since he’s never done this before, should he ask first? Would that be too awkward? Thankfully, the taller seemed to notice his inner turmoil, and called his name to get his attention. When Hoseok’s eyes refocused on his beautiful face, Hyungwon was looking at him with an intense gaze, and stepped forward to cup his face and seal their lips together. Hoseok remembers lacing his arms around his waist and lifting him up to twirl around like an idiot as they kissed, and how Hyungwon laughed and blushed when they parted. That’s when he was sure he was in love.

“Hyung.” Hyungwon chuckles. “Baby be careful or you’re gonna end up eating me.” He says, the older’s lips on his long neck.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Hoseok jokes.

Hyungwon snorts and runs his fingers through the blond strands, rubbing his fingers against his scalp affectionately.

“Do you wanna go to bed?” Hoseok asks, eyeing Hyungwon’s lips as he speaks.

The younger groans. “I’m feeling too lazy to have sex.”

“Baby.” The older moans, dragging out the las syllable.

“We had sex last night Hoseok.”

“But last night I fucked you and now I want you to fuck me.” The blond pouts, expression not at all meeting the argument.

“But I’m so comfy.” Whines the brown haired male.

Hoseok stares at him for a few quiet seconds. “We can have sex here.” He suggests.

“Hell no.” The other says quickly.

“Pretty please?” Hoseok pouts again.

“You ass, no means no!” He complains with a smile. “I am not moving my ass from here, I’m comfortable.”

“I can ride you!”

“Bitch.” The younger starts, squinting his eyes. “You better stop that shit.”

“Ugh, fine.” Hoseok groans, letting his head fall back to Hyungwon’s chest, cheek pressed against his sternum.

They stay like that for a few moments, until the younger speaks up. “You ever wonder how people steal canoes?” He asks.

The older frowns. “Taking them away from the rightful owner?” He answers.

“No.” Hyungwon laughs. “Like, people just get the canoe and take it somewhere else and no one sees it?” He explains. “And when they rob a store, how the hell doesn’t anyone notice?”

“Where did that come from?” Hoseok questions.

He feels when the taller shrugs and clicks his tongue. “I was just thinking and it occurred to me that’s ridiculous. Even if they take it at night, it’s still a whole ass canoe!”

“Hannah Montana just started playing in my mind.” Hums the blond. “Dunno why.”

“What song?”

“I don’t even _know_. I’m too old to have watched Hannah Montana.” He says.

“Too old and too asian.” Hyungwon points out. “That doesn’t stop you from watching The Amazing World of Gumball though.”

“Gumball is for _everyone.”_ The older says, sounding offended. He lifts his head to rest his chin on the younger’s chest instead and stare at him.

“Let’s steal a canoe.” Hyungwon suggests.

“To test the theory?”

“To test the theory.”

“I’ll get you a canoe.” Hoseok tells him softly. “Take you on a romantic trip on Yeongsan river.”

Hyungwon smiles. “You’d be scared out of your ass.” He says.

“I would.” The older nods, smiling brightly.

“Glad you’d take that risk for me, but luckily for the both of us I don’t dream of sailing in the Yeongsan river with a canoe.”

“I don’t think sailing is the word here.” Hoseok mumbles.

“I don’t care.” Says the brown haired male with a raise of both eyebrows. “You wanna know what I’m thinking about?”

“Not sure I wanna find out so many weird things about you in just one day.” He grimaces.

“Jesus Christ Hoseok you’re so annoying.” Hyungwon groans. “Remind me again why I’m dating you.”

“‘Cause I got a _huge_ personality.”

“I didn’t even compute the possibility of you saying dick, ‘cause that’s not even true.” Hyungwon says, pushing Hoseok’s buttons head on.

“Weren’t you gonna tell me what you were thinking of?” The blond questions in annoyance.

Hyungwon can only laugh.

“Well, I was gonna say I’m grateful I don’t have to use algebra nowadays.” He says.

“Did bad in school?” The older questions.

“Not really, it’s just not fun.”

Hoseok hums. “So last night I was wondering…”

“Before or after we had sex?” Asks the taller. “Or during the sex?”

“After.” The blond laughs. “When I was reliving the blowjob I gave you.”

_“Hoseok…”_

“I started to wonder, is it called deepthroat if your throat isn’t even that deep?” He finally says it. “Like, what if I’m deepthroating but the dick is still not completely in?”

 _“The_ dick? That dick better be mine.”

“Then does it mean I’m not doing it right, or maybe my throat isn’t that deep?” He keeps going.

“Or maybe my dick is too big?” Hyungwon suggests, but Hoseok ignores him. “If it’s all the way down your throat and there’s still dick left then it’s still deepthroat, there’s not an exact measurement.” He says.

“Hm. Makes sense I guess.”

Another moment of silence drags out.

“Do you wanna make out?” Hyungwon finally asks.

“If I carry you to the bedroom can we have sex?” Hoseok asks with his voice muffled by the younger’s shirt against his mouth.

The brown haired male stares at him in thought for a moment, then nods.

Hoseok kisses him so deeply Hyungwon’s sure he’ll be bruised in the next few hours.

 

*****

 

“I’m done with the bean paste, eomma.” Kihyun calls over his shoulder. She hums at him, indicating she’s heard what he’s said and will be there in a minute, still seasoning the meat. “How are you doing there, jagiya?” He asks Hyunwoo, having left the older man to mix the cake batter they had made together. The ravenette lifts his head and gives him a thumbs up, still holding the electric mixer over the bowl. The younger leaves the bean paste on the counter and moves towards him. He looks into the bowl and tells him to turn off the mixer. “I think this is good.” He explains, smiling proudly at Hyunwoo.

“I’m not a kid, you know, I can mix cake without you having to talk to me like I just came back from the moon.” Hyunwoo chuckles.

“I’ll still be proud of you no matter how simple the things you accomplish are.” Kihyun tells him, reaching for the already greased cake pan. “I don’t like taking you for granted.” He adds.

The taller snorts. “Since when?”

“I’m never praising you again.” Gruffs the shorter. “Ever.”

There’s a snort and a kiss to the top of his head. “That’s what I thought.”

“The bean paste looks good, sweetheart. You two can put the cake in the oven now.” Kihyun’s mother tells them, taking the paste with her to put it away till dinner.

They pull away from each other, Hyunwoo blushes faintly and Kihyun cleans his throat, pouring the cake mix onto the pan and putting it in the already preheated oven.

“I’m gonna finish the stuff with my mother. You can go snoop around.” Says the brunette to his boyfriend, waving his hands at him. “Go have fun.”

“...Doing what?” The older whispers at him, frowning.

“You’ll figure.” Kihyun tells him, taking his face in hands and pecking his lips before pushing him towards the living room.

He stands there not completely sure of what to do. Wonhyun and Mr.Yoo are sitting on the sofa watching some news on the TV and discussing about the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, and Soona is nowhere to be seen.

Hyunwoo decides he should look for her, for some reason. She makes him feel at ease.

He walks towards the hallway, and ends up bumping into her as she’s leaving the room.

“Oh! Hyunwoo-kun!” She exclaims, smiling. “Hello, are you looking for something?”

“I, uh, I was wondering where you were, noona. Kihyun told me to find something to do since he and eomani don’t need help anymore.” He explains. “I thought maybe you needed help with Dohyun?”

She nods in understanding. “I just put him to bed, actually.” She tells him, showing him the electronic babysitter in her hand. “I want him to be up as late as possible for the party today. But it’s too bad, you could try warming up to holding him if he was awake.” Soona looks sympathetic.

“No, that’s okay.” He smiles. “Maybe I’ll do that tonight. We’ve got time.”

She nods. “Kihyunie will be happy if you do that.” She tells him.

“Yeah. I know.” Hyunwoo nods.

“Be good to my boy.” She then adds. No harm to her words, but it’s almost like she’s pleading. Like she knows something he doesn’t.

“Of course.”

“Aga, we can go now.” Kihyun walks in. He stops and looks between the two of them. “Hi noona. Is Dohyun asleep?”

The older woman nods. “Yes, Just fell asleep.”

“Hm. Me and Hyunwoo-yah are going home now.” He tells her. “We’ll see you guys tonight.”

“Sure! I’ll help eomani with anything else she needs.” Soona smiles, holding the baby monitor against her chest. “Go now, you still have to get ready and all that. Take your brother’s car so you won’t have to walk all the way here.” She tells them, walking them to the door as she takes her husband’s car keys and hands them to Hyunwoo. “He won’t mind.”

“Thank you, noona.” The older male smiles at her, handing Kihyun the keys since Hyunwoo himself isn’t the best driver out of the two and the younger knows the way better.

“See you tonight.” The brunette hugs her briefly after putting on his shoes and grabbing his coat and beanie.

Hyunwoo puts on his own coat after his shoes then waits for Kihyun to put on his coat before opening the door and walking out along with him. They walk towards the car parked in front of the house and get in, fastening their seat belts even though it’s a three minute drive.

“What were you two talking about?” Kihyun asks, turning the car on and starting to pull away from the driveway.

“I wanted to see Dohyun, but she was telling me he was asleep.” The older explains.

Kihyun hums. “I heard my name, though?” He frowns as he says that, indicating he’s curious and know there’s more to it.

“In these past few days, when have I not been talking about you?” The older asks distractedly.

The younger male doesn’t say anything, and Hyunwoo doesn’t see it, but there’s a small smile on his lips. He sighs loudly, and then says. “Let’s hope hyung and Hyungwon aren’t having sex. Or at least that they’re not being loud.”

“Or having sex on the couch.” The ravenette reminds him

“They wouldn’t do that.” Kihyun says, shaking his head. He then widens his eyes and glances at the older. “Would they?”

Hyunwoo shrugs.

The younger male lets out yet another long sigh and grimaces. “Awesome.” He says sarcastically.

They arrive at the house shortly after, and walk in holding their breaths, hoping not to hear anything. Which they thankfully don’t. The house is silent, but signs of the other two residents are noticeable, their bedroom door closed.

“They probably fell asleep after fucking or something like that.” Kihyun says, and the older nods in agreement.

“Do you wanna just laze around till we have to go?” Hyunwoo proposes.

“Sure.” Smiles the younger. “Let’s find that playstation you were talking about.”

“So it was a playstation?” Questions the ravenette. “Does it still work?”

“I think so.” Kihyun shrugs, both of them moving towards the kitchen and into the storeroom. “It’s in a box, I think. Beware of the dust.”

The older hums. “I’ll beware but there’s not much I can do besides that.”

They start digging through the boxes. There can be found old board games that are missing half of their pieces and old story books for kids. Some of the boxes contain old electronics like an old telephone and cake mixer. Hyunwoo coughs and Kihyun sneezes about seven times before they quit.

“The thing isn’t here. There’s a chance it might be in our bedroom, and there’s a chance it might be on the other one.” The younger sighs, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms.

“Wouldn’t we have found it if it was in our bedroom?” Hyunwoo stands up and rolls his head to soothe his stiff neck. Kihyun’s eyes stare at the way his muscles moves until the older’s voice brings him back. “Kihyun?”

“...Yeah, probably.” He nods, acting as if he wasn’t drooling all over Hyunwoo just seconds ago. “Then it must be in the _other_ room, and I very much don’t want to go in there right now.” He scrunches up his nose.

“Okay, well...” Breathes the older. “What do we do, then?”

The shorter shrugs. _Helpful._ Hyunwoo thinks.

“Let’s just watch TV again or something.” The brunette murmurs. “And take a blanket, it’s too fucking cold.” He continues. “Is the heater broken?” He then asks, more to himself than anything, turning to look around as if the answer was floating in the air behind his head.

“Do you wanna lie down on the floor?” The older finally asks after some seconds of observing Kihyun look around in despair.

There’s a small hum and the other male turns to look at him as he was previously doing. “Haven’t done that since I was a kid.” He confesses. “I want to.”

“Okay.” The older say softly. “Let’s go get a blanket then.”

What goes through the younger’s mind is _‘Just one?’_ but he doesn’t say anything, in fear of making things awkward. He follows the older to the bedroom, where he hands the younger the blanket from their bed and gets a pillow. Kihyun also wants to know why just one pillow, since they both do, in fact, have one head, which equals two, but he’s curious to see what he has in mind.

“Where do you wanna lie down?” Inquires the ravenette with the pillow in his arms, looking like a rather giant teddy bear, and it’s just too cute.

“The floor is warmer in the living room, behind the couch.” Points the shorter, walking towards the spot as Hyunwoo follows. He waits for the older to put the pillow on the floor. Then they both do exactly nothing. “Aren’t we going to lie down?”

“You go first.” Hyunwoo motions. Kihyun frowns, and starts sitting down on the floor, the other mimicking him. He lies down first, and stays flat on his back with his head on the pillow. The older lies down so close to him his head is resting on his shoulder. The warmth of his body and the floor combined are warming him up already. Hyunwoo uses the blanket to cover them up and then laces his arm around Kihyun’s waist and hides his face in the crook of his neck, making the younger giggle at the feeling of his breath against his skin.

“Is this payback for this morning?” He asks, moving his hand up to play with his hair.

He feels the ravenette nod against his skin, and smiles even wider. A dork, really, but he’s still his dork. Still.

The brunette male closes his eyes and lets his head fall to the other side and wraps his arms around the other, allowing Hyunwoo more space and thinking about how nice it’d be if he kissed his neck. At the same time, he hopes he won’t do that, because they’re on the floor and Kihyun isn’t sure what that kiss would mean. He doesn’t know where they’re at in this “relationship”.

“Are you gonna fall asleep?” Hyunwoo mumbles against the younger male’s skin, giving him goosebumps.

“Maybe.” Kihyun whispers back. “Should I not?” He asks.

There’s not a proper answer, but a hum and a small kiss on his skin, and that has the younger closing his eyes and breathing in deeply.

Hyunwoo, on the other side, feels himself bursting. He doesn’t know what this is. It’s a familiar feeling but at the same time he’s never felt something quite like it before. It’s something Kihyun-like. It’s bold and impatient, trying to get his attention at all costs. And he wants to let it take over. Wants to open his mouth and let it be known, show himself to the younger like he hasn’t before. He breathes in his nice scent.

“Hey. Kihyun.” He calls softly.

There’s no response. Kihyun seems to have fallen asleep already. The older male moves his head away and looks at him. He has his eyes closed, and is breathing slowly. He accepts his faith, and rests his head back on the younger’s shoulder. When he settles, it doesn’t take him long to quiet down.

The brunette isn’t actually asleep though. He opens his eyes and stares at the back of the couch. He doesn’t know for how long he can stand this. He wonders if he should tell Hyunwoo how he’s feeling. But the prospect of letting him know is terrifying. He’s not sure how he would react, what it would mean. Would he comfort him or tell him he feels the same?

He’s not sure he wants to find out.

They probably stay there for an hour or so. Kihyun’s not sure if he falls asleep or if he was in a trance state of some sort. Doesn’t matter, really, because right now they should get up and start getting ready. Hyungwon makes sure to let him know, crouched next to them and shaking Kihyun’s shoulder. “You both should get up.” He tells him, quietly. The shorter frowns as he opens his eyes to look at the brown haired male. It’s weird to hear that soft tone in Hyungwon’s voice. His face is not much different. It matches his tone, almost sympathetic.

“What’s up?” Kihyun asks him.

Hyungwon looks down to their lower bodies then back at Kihyun’s face. He shakes his head with a sad smile, then stands and walks away.

The brunette frowns to himself, and decides to ignore. The side of his neck is hot due to the older’s breathing against his skin all this time. He figures he should wake the ravenette too. When he thinks of Hyunwoo, he notices he’s holding him tight. He loosens his arms and stares at the ceiling in realization.

“Hyung, wake up.” He mumbles, tapping the older on the shoulder. “Come on, Hyunwoo, you have to wake up.” He tries moving his own body too, and the motion makes him feel how stiff he is from sleeping on the floor for so long.

The older finally does, and raises his head with his hair flat on one side and an eye closed, looking around with a painful expression. Kihyun chuckles.

“Yeah, not sleeping on the floor ever again.” He comments.

“Hm. At least we’re warm now.” The taller answers with a deep voice.

“That was probably you more than it was the floor.” Kihyun chuckles again. “You’re a human furnace.” He comments.

“As long as I can warm you up, I guess.” Says the older as he stands up, warmth leaving the younger’s body to be replaced by an unfamiliar cold.

He sits up and rubs his eyes, arching his back and groaning at the stiffness of his muscles. “What time is it?” He asks.

“Ten minutes to seven.” Hoseok tells him.

Hyunwoo offers him a hand, and the brunette accepts it, being pulled up the next second. “Should we eat something before we start getting ready?”

“Won’t we have dinner there as soon as everyone arrives?” Hyungwon asks, leaning against the counter.

“Yeah, that’s what they told me.” Hoseok nods, a glass of water in his hands. “But if anyone’s hungry we can just eat.”

“Hyunwoo might want to eat, he’s always hungry.” Kihyun jokes, leaning down to get the pillow.

The ravenette looks mildly uncomfortable, and both Hoseok and Hyungwon notice, sharing a look.

“I’m good. I’ll eat there.” The older says, walking away to go to the bedroom after taking the pillow and the blanket from the shorter’s hands.

Hoseok waits until Hyunwoo has the bedroom door closed to speak up. “What did you mean by that?” He questions.

“What did I mean by what?” Questions the brunette with a slight frown, walking up to the blond to get the half full glass of water and drink it himself.

“Saying he’s always hungry. Do you comment on it a lot?” Elaborates the oldest.

The shorter shrugs. “I guess not. Just sometimes. He _does_ eat a lot, after all.”

“Do you say anything else?” Hyungwon asks him, Kihyun moving to the sink to wash the glass before putting it back in a cupboard. “Like about his habits or…?”

“Well I just tell him he should be careful not to get fat, you know?”

Hoseok raises his eyebrows and Hyungwon grimaces. “You can’t say that.” Says the blond.

“Why not?” Frowns the younger once again.

“He looked upset when you said he’s always hungry.” Hyungwon tells him.

“Why would he be upset? I’m not saying he’s fat, I just tell him to be careful.” He shrugs, looking at the both of them with confusion clear on his face.

“Yeah but you can’t say those things. People get offended.” The oldest crosses his arms, sighing. Hyungwon comes up behind him and laces his arms around his waist and rests his chin on his shoulder. “You should talk to him.”

“That’s such a nonsense, really.” Scoffs the brunette male. “It’s not a reason to be upset. So now I gotta apologize for looking after him just because he’s hurt by it?” He asks, sounding a little more bothered by it than necessary, when in reality he’s starting to feel bad for making the older upset. But he won’t admit that to the others. He’s already told them he’s right and he’s too proud to go back on it.

“Don’t be like that.” Hyungwon mutters, looking at him with disappointment.

“You love him, you should be more worried about his well-being than if you’re right or not.” Hoseok tells him.

The words are like a spear right through his heart. No, he doesn’t. He can’t.

He doesn’t love Hyunwoo, he doesn’t.

“Shut up.” He groans, leaving the cup on the sink and walking out. The other two don’t call after him, and he doesn’t want to go back either. Kihyun walks into the bedroom to Hyunwoo in his underwear, looking like he’s ready to go in the shower. “Hey.” He mumbles.

The older looks over his shoulder and gives him a small smile before looking back to the toiletries bag in his hands. Kihyun sighs, looking down. He has such a nice butt.

“Thank you?” Hyunwoo says with a confused smile, and the brunette realizes he’s said it out loud accidentally.

“Uh, I…” He starts, sitting down on the bed.

“I’ll go take a shower. Promise not to use up all the hot water.” The older tells him, still smiling, and walks out.

Kihyun’s not sure what just happened.

He lies on bed, staring at the ceiling and going through all his life in his head, trying to figure out why exactly he’s the way he is.

It’s not an uncommon occurrence.

“I’m done.” Announces his ex-awkward-roommate-slash-boyfriend as he walks in with a towel around his waist.

“Yeah, me too.” Mumbles Kihyun to himself, sitting up.

“What was that?” Hyunwoo calls distractedly.

“Nothing.”

Time passes, and eventually of of them get ready. It might take an hour, all in all.

“Is everyone ready to go?” Kihyun asks, putting on his coat. He’s dressed [ simply](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/01/4e/88/014e8832b32a1b6e82e9a67c4d898ac0.jpg), cozy but still dressed up enough his mother won’t nag at him.

“Yeah, we can go.” Hyungwon walks out of the room, buttoning his cuffs with Hoseok right behind him, wearing what’s almost the stark opposite of his boyfriend’s outfit. Standing side by side, they could be a modern remake of the [ lady and the tramp](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/3e/79/89/3e7989e414e6e5dcab4eaa3fa9289724.jpg).

“Why is Hyungwon so dressed up?” Questions Hyunwoo, putting own his own coat.

“You’re not much [ better](https://youtu.be/XUJ_xpOVfyw?t=48), hyung.” Points out the brown haired male.

“At least he’s not wearing a tux.” Kihyun teases.

The younger looks completely offended. “This isn’t a _tux._ It’s a _suit,_ thank you very much. And I’m not even wearing a tie.” He protests.

“If you were I wouldn’t let you leave the house.” His boyfriend mumbles, getting the other’s coat to hand it to him before putting on his own.

“You’re all so annoying. I dress to impress.” Mumbles the man, puffing up his chest and opening the door to walk out.

“Remind me again why you’re dating him.” Kihyun says to the blond male next to him, shooting him an unamused look.

“He’s pretty.” Hoseok shrugs, following his boyfriend outside.

Kihyun sighs, both he and Hyunwoo standing by the doorstep, watching Hoseok reach for Hyungwon to fix his coat and make sure he won’t get too cold, standing by Wonhyun’s car, waiting for them.

“Jagiya.” Hyunwoo calls, gaining the younger’s attention.

“Yeah?” He asks quietly, hating how he already responds so well to the petname.

The older leans down and kisses his forehead softly. Hyunwoo stays there, so close he could still be kissing him, but he doesn’t. It almost feels like the older doesn’t want to pull back.

The ravenette clenches his eyes shut, expression almost painful, feeling like he’s gonna burst with what he’s not saying. Thankfully Kihyun can’t see his face.

“Hey, you two morons! Let’s go, I’m freezing!” Hoseok calls annoyedly.

The older pulls away and walks out without looking at Kihyun, leaving him confused and stilled. He moves mechanically to lock the door and walks towards the car, getting in the driver seat.

“Did anyone forget something? Check your pockets because I’m not turning this car around.” He tells them, making sure everything’s in place before starting the car.

“I forgot something.” Hyungwon tells them.

“What?” Kihyun questions, turning to look at him.

“My dignity.” He deadpans, looking out of the window dramatically.

“You never had that to begin with.” States the brunette, taking out the car.

When they arrive at the house, everyone’s settled in the living room.

“Hello! We were wondering what time you would come.” Mrs. Park exclaims with a bright smile, standing from the couch to hug her son and the other males. “Very glad you all decided to spend this day with us.”

“Kihyun always says wonderful things about christmas at home, so I wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity.” Hyunwoo tells her, smiling as he hangs up his coat.

“I see my friends all the time so I wanted a change.” Hoseok explains, hugging her tightly.

“Baby, you don’t know your own strength, be careful.” Hyungwon warns him with a fond smile.

“I don’t know how such a skinny boy is still one piece with a boyfriend strong like that.” She comments. “Same goes for my son.”

Kihyun doesn’t mind her a glance, greeting everyone else in the room and going straight to the coloured foam mat his nephew is playing with some toys on. “Hey baby.” He says with a bright smile and a high pitched voice. Dohyun looks up at him with wide eyes and then lets out a happy chuckle, lifting an arm to point his chewing toy towards his uncle. “Hi. I love you too.”

“Have you been waiting for long?” Asks Hoseok.

“No, we just finished getting Dohyun ready.” Answers Wonhyun with a nod.

“He looks so pretty. So elegant, my nephew.” Says the brunette to the kid hitting his toy with the palm of his hands. “Clearly you took after okasan.”

“That’s not rude at all.” Mumbles his brother, his wife giggling next to him.

“Should we have dinner?” Asks Mr. Yoo.

“Do we all agree?” Kihyun’s mother questions, looking around. Everyone seems to agree.

“As Minhyuk would say, you will not ever see me opposing to food.” Jokes Hoseok, earning a laugh from everyone.

“Let’s go then.” Says Kihyun, taking Dohyun in his arms after standing up. “He’s already had dinner, right?” He asks Soona.

“Yes. But he can sit in his baby chair while we eat.” She tells him, standing up and smoothing down her dress. “We can put him between the both of us if you want to sit next to him?” She suggests, offering her pointer finger for her son to wrap his little hand around it, which he does.

“I’d like that, thank you, noona.” He smiles.

They all go to the dining room, were all is settled with exception of the food. Kihyun helps Soona put Dohyun in his chair, and Hoseok and Wonhyun help Mrs. Park getting the food in the kitchen and bring it all to the room.

“The food looks great, eomani.” Hyungwon says with a bright smile.

“It really does, yeobo. You never fail at surpassing yourself from the year before.” Mr. Yoo says, taking his wife’s hand in his and smiling at her.

“Stop that.” She tells him with a huff. “I didn’t do all of this alone. Soona, Hyunwoo and Kihyun helped me.” She adds.

“We barely have a fifth of the credit for all of this, shi-eomani.” Interjects the ravenette, sitting next to Kihyun with a shy smile towards the woman.

“Come on, eomma. Sit down and eat. You should rest after working so hard all day.” Wonhyun tells her, motioning with his hands so she’ll sit down.

“I still have to cut the meat.” She tells him, reaching for the kitchen shears.

“I’ll do it.” Says Soona, standing and holding out her hand for the shears. Mrs. Park sighs and hands it to her, smiling gratefully and sitting down, finally.

The dinner time runs smoothly, in general. They eat and chat about life and the past, like you always do when you spend holidays with the family. They talk about where they’ll be spending Chuseok and new years. Kihyun mostly pays attention to Dohyun, taking breaks while eating just so he can talk to the baby and make him giggle. Hyunwoo barely takes his eyes off him the whole time.

“I was surprised you all decided to come here instead of going out with friends.” Wonhyun comments. Doesn’t the youth go out to have fun these days?”

Kihyun snorts.

“We’ll, I live here and I see my friends all the time. Besides, Hoseok wanted to come and I wanted to meet all of you since he’s only ever said wonderful things.” Hyungwon tells them with a charming smile that always has Mrs. Park enchanted. She adores him already. “And he wouldn’t shut up about spending christmas here, honestly.”

That earns a laugh from everyone and en embarrassed chuckle from Hoseok.

“I’m from Seoul and I wanted a change of scenery for once.” Explains Hyunwoo. “Also I wanted to meet Jagiya’s family.”

Kihyun blushes. “I, uh, The friends I have in Gwangju are Hoseok and Joshua. And of course Minhyuk. And I’ve met all of them while we’re here.”

“Speaking of Jisoo, do you have plans of meeting him before you leave? The boy adores you.” Asks his mom. Kihyun lets Dohyun play with his hand as he thinks about it.

“Yeah. Probably, I don’t know. I’ll call him and see if he’s free.” He tells her.

“He’ll probably make some time for you.” Comments Hyungwon under his breath.

“Yeah, maybe you should take Hyunwoo with you.” Soona agrees.

Everyone at the table nods. Kihyun frowns. They all seem to know something apart from him and Dohyun. “What are you talking about?” He questions.

“Nothing, of course.” Waves his mother.

“Maybe you should get Shua used to Hyunwoo since he’ll be around a lot more now.” Hoseok explains, not looking up from his plate.

The shorter narrows his eyes, but doesn’t say anything else.

Once they’re all finished, everyone takes their plates to the kitchen. Kihyun and Wonhyun are assigned to wash the dishes while the others go to the living room and turn on the karaoke player Hyunwoo and Kihyun brought with them when they had come earlier.

“Who’s gonna go first?” Asks Wonhyun as he and his younger brother walk into the living room.

“I think Hyunwoo should start. Then Hyungwon.” Mrs. Park announces.

“See? You’ve just arrived and she already likes you both more than she likes her kids.”

Mr. Yoo laughs at that, and his wife rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want to disappoint.” Hyunwoo laughs.

“Hyung is a little nervous. Let Hoseok and Hyungwon go first since they are show offs.” Kihyun says, sitting on the floor next to his brother.

“That’s mean.” Hoseok comments. “Come on, aga, let’s go.” He then adds, standing up and pulling his boyfriend along with him.

“What song are you gonna sing?” Soona asks them, her son sitting on her lap as he tries to put his toe in his mouth.

“It’s a surprise, noona.” Hoseok answers with a smile, grabbing his phone and connecting it to the player.

“Why does Hyungwon look like he’s ready to marry someone?” Asks Wonhyun.

“And Hoseok looks like he’s ready to debut as an idol.” Comments Kihyun, laughing.

“Will you ever let us live?” Asks the taller, smiling with narrowed eyes.

Everyone keeps laughing and making comments until they put the song to play. Then each of them grab a mic and stare intently at the TV.

“Are you serious?” Asks Hyunwoo, laughing.

Hyungwon just laughs in pre embarrassment, and looks at Hoseok when he sings the first line. “[ I’m bringing sexy back ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTZAEDYA8n4).”

Kihyun is unable to hold his laughter.

“Them other boys don’t know how to act.” Continues Hoseok.

“Is this a famous song?” Asks Mrs. Park.

“Kind of, eomma. It’s pretty old though.” Answers her oldest son.

They try to sing along, but even Hyungwon and Hoseok get some parts wrong. None of them are fluent in english, after all, and the ridiculous dance they attempt to do compensates for it. It even makes Dohyun giggle.

When they’re over, the other’s applaud, and Hoseok falls to his knees to bow at Hyungwon for absolutely no reason at all but the fact he’s whipped for him.

“What score are they gonna get?” Asks Soona, all of them staring at the TV intently.

“Seventy eight?! We were a lot better than that.” Complains the taller.

“The TV didn’t catch the whole performance.” Kihyun comforts them.

“Who’s gonna go next?” Asks Mr. Yoo. “Why don’t you go, yeobo?” He turns to his wife.

“Oh, I shouldn’t. Let’s just let the kids have fun.” She shakes her head shying away.

“Nonsense, eomani, you should go.” Soona says. “Go on.”

“Yeah, we wanna hear you sing.” Kihyun adds in.

Hoseok goes to the woman and hold a hand out to her, which she hesitantly takes with a sigh.

“Okay, fine.” She gives in, walking to the front. “Go easy on me, I haven’t sang in a while.”

“Not true.” Intervenes her husband.

“You were singing just this morning.” Laughs Wonhyun.

Dohyun squeals, as if to agree with his grandpa and father.

“How do I chose the song?” She asks, looking at the younger males in the room.

“Ah! Let me do it.” The blond male smiles, standing back to help her choose the song on his phone.

“This one’s for the old days.” She says in the phone, trying to act like she’s on a real concert. The others cheer her on, playing along.

Hoseok puts the song to play, [ and it’s a known one ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ykrh2dHoZs), so they all recognize it by the instrumental.

“Go eomma!” Yells Kihyun.

She puts her heart into it, and it brings some humidity to Mr. Yoo’s eyes. She sways side to side as she does, and Wonhyun takes his phone out to turn on the flashlight as a joke.

“Eighty-seven! Good job eomani.” Hyungwon congratulates.

Soona decides to go next.

“What are you gonna sing, jagi?” Asks her husband.

“Is it a japanese song, noona?” Kihyun questions, Dohyun now on his lap, bashing two toys together and hitting his uncle’s face every one in a while.

“No. I’ve heard this pop song the other day and I’ve been really into it ever since so I wanna try it.” She tells them, looking it up in the phone. She finds it and puts it to play, starting to [ sing ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs2Tj3aB87g) almost immediately.

“Oh my god!” Hyungwon laughs.

“Is this an idol group song?” Asks Wonhyun with a confused smile.

“It’s Red Velvet, hyung.” Explains Kihyun, laughing until Dohyun accidently shoves a toy in his mouth.

“Go noona!” They cheer.

“This is such a nice song.” Comments Mrs. Park, doing a little dance with her hands.

Hoseok surprises them all (not actually) by doing the fanchant.

“You and Jooheon would get along well.” Says Hyunwoo to the blond. “He has a crush on them.”

Kihyun nods. “Don’t tell Changkyun though.”

Soona tries her best to get all the lyrics right, but in the end her score is fifty-nine.

“You did amazing, baby.” Wonhyun tells her, taking her hand and kissing it.

“Can I go next?” Kihyun asks. Everyone agrees, so he hands Dohyun to his mother and goes towards the phone.

“Are you gonna sing Hyeya again?” Asks Wonhyun.

Kihyun shakes his head. “No. Not this year.”

“Why Hyeya?” Hyunwoo questions.

“He used to sing it every year. It’s his favorite song to sing on karaoke.” Explains Mr. Yoo.

The raven haired male figures Kihyun might be acting out of respect.

“I’m gonna sing Moon of Seoul. Because grandma used to play that all the time.” He explains, choosing [ the song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc3R0jVx0sA) in the phone and then getting ready for it.

“Is it fair that he owns a karaoke place and is going to beat our asses?” Hyungwon says to Hoseok and Hyunwoo quietly, who laugh.

“He’s always been good at this, even before that.” His boyfriend explains.

Kihyun starts singing. Everyone in the room had heard him sing before, with the exception of Hyungwon. And his expression says it all.

“His lisp always gets a little more noticeable when he sings.” Comments Hyunwoo, completely enamored by his boyfriend’s voice.

“Hoseok’s does that too.” Hyungwon tells him. “I didn’t know Kihyun could hit those notes though.”

“Oh how much I love this song.” Dances Mrs.Yoo. “Reminds me of my eomani.”

“It’s very pretty.” Soona agrees.

Kihyun’s score ends up being ninety-two.

“I’m winning!” He celebrates, doing a little dance.

“Hyunwoo has to go.” Says his mother, patting the ravenette on the back. “Go on.”

The man doesn’t say anything, but stands, accepting his fate, and takes the mic from Kihyun, who wiggles his eyebrows at him and then moves to sit back on his place.

“Why don’t you sing DIA?” He teases.

Hyunwoo glares at him.

Though, [ the song ](https://youtu.be/jK04k656Oug?t=10) he chooses isn’t that far off.

“I can’t believe this.” Hoseok laughs.

“He’s not bad though.” Wonhyun says.

Hyunwoo laughs more than sings, and does some playful body rolls. Mrs. Park covers Dohyun’s eyes and Soona laughs at her.

“Go jagiya! Show them you can do this.” Kihyun cheers, singing along.

“If he does the choreography I’m leaving.” Hoseok threatens.

“I hope to god he doesn’t know it.” Mr.Yoo comments with no emotion in his voice, and Kihyun laughs so hard he falls to his side.

They clap when Hyunwoo is over, and right after, gasp at his score.

“Ninety-nine.” Hoseok whispers.

“I can’t believe you beat my record.” Kihyun says, mouth open in shock. “We’re breaking up.” He deadpans.

Hyunwoo laughs and goes sit next to him, a very small part of him panicking for real at the statement. “I’m sorry, nae sarang.” He says, mouth against his shoulder.

“Hm.” Kihyun huffs, but smiles teasingly at him.

“I’m gonna go next.” Wonhyun announces. “And I’m gonna sing a song my eomma used to be very fond of when I was younger.” He continues.

Kihyun already has an idea of what it might be, but still laughs when [ Invisible Wall ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez6NJ2BfP78) by The GazettE starts playing.

“Oh no. Not this.” Groans Mrs. Park.

Soona is laughing too, fully aware that her husband used to be very into the band when he was much younger.

Wonhyun sings it from the top of his lungs, and Kihyun and Soona sing along to some parts, laughing. They even headbang to the chorus.

“I can’t believe we’ve come back to this.” Mumbles their mother, shaking her head with a sigh, but not actually that bothered.

“We’re a whole mess, eomma.” Kihyun tells her, chuckling.

She rolls her eyes.

Wonhyun makes seventy-six points, and simply shrugs.

They keep playing. They all get together to sing Bang Bang Bang by Big Bang, then Hoseok goes for a round of Catallena by Orange Caramel, getting the lowest score yet.

It’s after Hyungwon sings Single Ladies that Kihyun takes the mic from him and sings Lip and Hip by HyunA, making Hyunwoo feel uncomfortable on his seat. When Wonhyun suggests he should go next, his mother intervenes.

“I think it’s time we give out our presents.” Mrs. Park announces, trying to run away from another ‘rebel phase’ song. “Don’t you think?”

She stands up, so everyone else does too. They had stopped gifting when the boys had turned into teenagers, since giving out presents wasn’t a korean tradition, and they simply wanted to mimic what they watched on western TV shows as kids. But they’re all too soft for Dohyun, so basically the whole family bought him toys and clothes, including his parents.

Kihyun goes back to his friends as soon as Soona thanks him for the cute shirt and pants he bought his nephew. They’re all sitting on the couch while the others are in Wonhyun and Soona’s room, where they have more space to put the presents on.

Kihyun barely sits down when Hoseok stands up, Hyunwoo going right after him. He shares a puzzled look with Hyungwon, who just shrugs and shakes his head.

Hoseok arrives first, and hands Hyungwon a perfectly wrapped box. “Here. Merry christmas, baby.” The older tells him, kissing his lips. “I love you.” He says, blushing slightly. Hyunwoo sits next to Kihyun, who’s watching the other two curiously and completely awed.

Hyungwon looks at him, suspicious. “What did you buy me?” He asks.

“Open it.” Encourages the blond.

The taller sighs and starts undoing the wrapping paper, tearing it, and gasps when the box is revealed. “You didn’t.” He whispers.

Hoseok smiles brightly. “Yes I did.”

“Oh my god, Hoseok. These are so expensive.” He exclaims, hugging the box against his chest and looking at the other with so much fondness the other two can practically feel it.

“I know.” Chuckles the older. “But I completely destroyed the ones you had before and we had just met back then. I’ve been saving since then, because I just… I felt so bad. I know how much you love DJing even as a hobby and you need a good set for that, so I wanted to get you a new one.” He explains.

Hyungwon reaches for the box, and opens it, taking out [ black and gold wireless Beats headphones](https://www.beatsbydre.com/content/dam/beats/web/pdp/studio_3_wireless/product_card/443_tile_0001_MQUF2-RGB-thrqtrlft.png). “These are so much prettier than the ones you broke.” He says.

“Woah. They are really expensive.” Kihyun comments. “Now I wish _I_ was dating Hoseok.” He says, then grimaces. “Actually, no, ew.”

The other three laugh at him.

“I’ve got you something too!” Hyungwon perks up, as if he’s just remembered it. “I didn’t know you were gonna give me something so expensive or else I would…” He mumbles, reaching for something in the inner pocket of his jacket. “Here.” He hands the older a small package.

Hoseok takes it without a word, eyeing his boyfriend, and opens it, taking a small box from the inside. “[A necklace](http://item.ssgcdn.com/03/21/77/item/1000022772103_i1_500.jpg)?” He asks, expression unreadable, something Kihyun has only seen on Hoseok’s face few times before.

“Yeah.” The brown haired male agrees shyly. “It’s very simple, but I just wanted to give you that because… I don’t know. Something to have on you, so you’ll think of me whenever I’m not around.” He adds. “It’s a circle, and it’s supposed to be us, because I feel like… I can’t tell where I end and you begin anymore. Just like a circle.” His voice starts dying down by the end, and he looks at the necklace quietly, embarrassed.

“I love it.” Hoseok says. “I love it so much, Hyungwon.” He tells him, and takes his face in his hand to seal their lips. The younger puts one of his hands around Hoseok’s wrist and kisses back, sighing.

“Okay, gross.” Kihyun comments in a small voice, turning to Hyunwoo. He opens his mouth to say something when he notices something on the older’s lap. “What’s that?” He asks, frowning, and looks up to look into the older’s eyes. “Hyunwoo, what is this?” He asks.

The older hands him the bag in his hands without another word.

Kihyun sighs and rolls his eyes. “We weren’t supposed to buy each other anything.” He complains already taking out the wrapped box from the bag.

“I know. But when you told me we were coming it didn’t feel right to just… not get you something.” He explains.

“You didn’t have to, baby.” Kihyun says with a small smile, feeling soft. “But thank you.”

He undoes the wrapping carefully, aware that even if it looks like a small child wrapped it, Hyunwoo must have done it himself, and that he’s not good at these things, but it’s still a sign he tried. He finally undoes it, and smiles quizzically at the older. “What is this?” He asks.

“It’s a [ Mighty Mug](https://www.virginmegastore.ae/medias/sys_master/root/hff/hce/8862814470174/635913-main.jpg).” The older explains. “You know, those things that don’t spill. Because you said the main reason we have stains everywhere is because we spill our drinks around too much-”

“We?” Asks the brunette with a raised eyebrow.

 _“So_ I thought it would be nice to get us that. So it will prevent us from spilling things.” He continues, ignoring Kihyun’s question.

“That’s so thoughtful of you.” Kihyun smiles brightly at him.

“There’s something else inside. Open it.” He tells him, pointing at the mug.

The younger frowns and reaches out to open the box and pull out the creme colored mug. He shakes it, and there’s the soft thud of something inside it, so he screws open the lid and there it lies. A [ gudetama keychain](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3e/42/dd/3e42ddc1aa2de12d567e7642a39495c0.jpg).

“Oh my god! This is so cute.” Kihyun says, voice several octaves higher. “How did you know I love gudetama?” He asks.

“Because you never shut up about it.” Hyungwon tells him.

“Go suck Hoseok’s face or something.” Kihyun snaps at him, shoving his hand on his back pocket and taking something out. “This is for you.” He tells the older. “I bought it some time ago and I figured I should give it to you for christmas.” He explains. “It’s very simple though.”

Hyunwoo shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He says. He opens the tiny package and pulls out two [ gold and black earrings](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DT1rxzeXkAE8igR.jpg).

“Because you lost one of yours a month ago. And you only had those. So I thought I’d buy you new ones.” Kihyun tells him, looking into the ravenette’s eyes with uncertainty.

The older takes them out of the card paper they come in and immediately puts them on. “I love them.” He says. “I’ll always wear them from now on.” He says.

“You don’t have to.” Kihyun tells him.

The older leans in closer to the other, Hyungwon and Hoseok share a look. “I think we both know we didn’t need to do many things we’ve done already.” He says, and Kihyun blushes at what that statement encompasses.

“I think we should call the boys.” Kihyun says, looking down at his lap. “To wish them a happy christmas.”

Hyunwoo nods and pulls back, looking around to avoid Kihyun’s gaze.

The younger takes his phone out and turns so he’s not only facing Hyunwoo, being careful not to drop the things on his lap. He taps on Minhyuk’s number first, and puts it on speaker.

He answers after the fourth ring. _“Kihyunie!”_

“Minhyuk-ah. Hi.” Hyunwoo is the first to answer.

“You’re on speaker.” Hoseok adds.

 _“Ohhh, dangerous.”_ Jokes the man on the other side of the line. _“What’s up?”_

“We just called to wish you a happy christmas. How are things going there?” Kihyun asks, rubbing his philtrum with a finger.

 _“Oh! Thank you guys. Merry christmas to you too and all that. I’m with my brother and some of our friends. We went out to a bar.”_ He tells them. It’s noticeable, the voices in the background, Minhyuk’s brother’s familiar voice closer than the others.

“Be careful on your way home.” The brunette warns.

“Call an uber.” Hyungwon tells him.

 _“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”_ He promises.

“Be safe then, and have fun.” Hoseok says.

Minhyuk hums. _“Will do.”_ He says with a smile on his tone. They all bid their goodbyes and hang up.

“Can you guys with Changkyun and Jooheon a happy christmas for us? I need to do something with Hyungwon real quick.” Hoseok asks, already standing up and taking the brown haired male’s hand in his.

“Well, sure.” Kihyun says, confused.

“Okay guys, thank you.” He smiles, walking away towards the kitchen.

The brunette shares a confused look with Hyunwoo, but takes the phone anyways to call Chagkyun.

The younger only picks up after the second time they try calling. _“Hyung! What a surprise!”_ He yells.

 _“Who is it?”_ Asks another voice, Jooheon.

 _“Kihyun-hyung.”_ Changkyun answers.

There’s only one second of silence before Jooheon is also screaming into the phone. “ _Hyunnnnnnngg.”_ He says.

“Hey guys.” Kihyun laughs. “You-”

 _“How are you and Hyunwoo-hyung going? Have you fucked yet?”_ Interrupts Jooheon.

Kihyun’s face might as well be on fire. “Guys, respect your elders!” Hyunwoo scolds.

There’s a moment of silence, and then some muffled conversation on the other side. _“Are we on speaker?”_ Changkyun’s voice finally asks.

“Yes.” Kihyun says exasperated. “And what we’re doing with our lives or not is actually none of your business.” He adds.

 _“Sorry, hyung.”_ They say in unison, then Jooheon continues. _“We’re at a club. And we’re not sober. Don’t listen to what we say.”_

“I never _do_ listen to what you say.” Answers the brunette.

“We called you to wish a merry christmas.” Hyunwoo says, trying to save all of them from that awkward conversation.

 _“Sure, of course. Happy birthday hyungs.”_ Says Changkyun.

 _“He meant christmas. It’s christmas, you airhead.”_ Jooheon intervenes, sounding more sober than his own boyfriend.

“Sure, yeah, good. We gotta go now. Be safe, you petty pretzel.” Kihyun shakes his head with a sigh.

 _“Okay hyung. Have a nice night.”_ Changkyun tells them, then hungs up.

The brunette sighs and lets himself slump against the couch. “Why is life like this?” He mumbles.

“Kids! Come say goodnight, Dohyun is going to bed now and so are we.” Mrs. Park comes into the living room with the kid in her arms. Kihyun stands up as fast as he can, going for the baby and taking him from his mother carefully.

“I loved spending time with you, baby. Happy christmas.” He tells his nephew, kissing his forehead. The brunette rests his nose against the baby’s forehead, and closes his eyes, feeling Hyunwoo approach them.

“Kihyun.” His mother calls quietly, and the man opens his eyes to look at her curiously. She’s trying to say something with the look she has in her eyes. The younger pulls back and looks the the baby, only to notice he’s staring intensely at Hyunwoo. Big round eyes directed at him while the older male stares right back.

Kihyun looks at Hyunwoo, who catches his gaze. He doesn’t take his eyes off of his as he hands him the kid, trusting the older to take the baby. The ravenette does that, holding Dohyun against himself rather comically, but the baby doesn’t cry, and nor does Hyunwoo.

“You’re holding him!” Kihyun says quietly, excitedly. He smiles bright and full, the image of Hyunwoo holding his nephew too much for his heart to handle.

“Now, let’s put this big baby to bed.” Mrs.Park says, reaching for Dohyun.

“Goodnight eomma. Merry christmas.”

“Goodnight you two. Have a happy christmas.” She smiles.

“A happy christmas, eomani.” Hyunwoo says.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, after succeeding on hanging a mistletoe right above the door, Hoseok gets down from the stool and smiles proudly at his work.

“Do you really think this is a good idea, jagi? What if they get upset?” Hyungwon asks, resting against the wall.

The blond male shakes his head. “They need this. They need to loosen up, have some fun. They haven’t had sex since they got here, and we won’t be home tonight. I’m doing them a favor.” He explains.

Hyungwon can’t help but think the results might either be amazing or disastrous.

“I like how much you care about your friend, but the fact you noticed they haven’t had sex yet is pretty creepy.” He teases.

“Like you haven’t noticed too.” The blond says, shifting closer to Hyungwon and wrapping his arms around his thin waist. He noses his neck and rests his face against his collarbones. The younger wraps his arms around him.

“You know I appreciate all of you, right?” Hyungwon asks. “I’m proud of you.” He says softly before kissing the top of the older’s head.

“Proud of me for what?” The shorter asks with a muffled voice.

“You were so strong dealing with your parents. With all of this. Having a whole sexuality crisis and not being able to spend the holidays with your family after such a hard time. And I know what they said broke your heart, but I’m sure they’ll come around.” Hyungwon says everything as he rocks his boyfriend slowly in his arms. “I love you and I’ll be here for you until you get tired of me.”

“I love you too.” Hoseok whispers back, holding Hyungwon a little tighter. “Let’s put our plan into practice.” He says, pulling back. “Kihyunie! Hyunwoo-yah! Come here.” He calls.

There’s the sound of Kihyun’s voice as they approach, saying “You guys just missed Hyunwoo being able to hold Dohyun.” And then Hoseok is telling them to stop.

Both males stop walking immediately, looking at him with a confused frown.

“Look up.” The blond says with a smirk.

They have a mirrored response to it, both the brunette and the ravenette looking up to find the mistletoe there, stuck to the top of the doorframe.

“Where did this come from? It wasn’t here earlier.” Kihyun asks, looking at the both of them suspiciously.

“Doesn’t matter where it came from.” Hyungwon shrugs.

“Only matters is that you have to kiss now. So go on.” Hoseok adds.

“This isn’t an american TV show.” Kihyun rolls his eyes.

“Don’t ruin the fun.” Complains the brown haired male. “Just kiss him already.”

The both of them make a point of how serious they are my shoving them aside and walking out of the kitchen, pecking quickly on the way, since they too walked under the mistletoe.

Kihyun sighs, but turns to the older with a questioning look in his eyes.

Hyunwoo steps forward and takes him by the waist, waiting for Kihyun to respond. The brunette cups Hyunwoo’s face in his hands, and leans closer to merge their lips together softly, moving against each other like a second nature. Kihyun knows it’s stupid to even think about it, but just in the few hours he wasn’t kissing Hyunwoo like this, he had missed it. From the way his lips feel against his own to the way Hyunwoo holds him against his sturdier body and lets Kihyun feel his how heartbeat synchronizes with his own.

When they pull apart, the younger bites his lower lip as he savours the feeling that’s left from the kiss.

“Guys.” Hoseok calls, walking back into the kitchen.

“Yeah?” Kihyun turns to him, acting as if he didn’t just kissed Hyunwoo like his life depended on it.

“We’re going to my parent’s house now.” Hyungwon tells them, reaching up to take the mistletoe out. “We’ll only be back tomorrow, so remember to lock the house.”

“I’m always the one who locks the house.” Hyunwoo points out.

“Yeah, well, anyways. Have a happy christmas, and take care.” Hoseok waves his arms.

“You too.” Kihyun waves. They walk out of the kitchen together, and wait for their uber to arrive.

Once they’re sent off to the Chae family’s house, the other two are left alone to wonder what they are to do next. Hyunwoo reaches out and takes Kihyun’s hand in his gently, tugging on it in a silent way of asking him something.

Kihyun knows what it is. He knows because he’s asking himself that same question. He knows what the older wants because he wants it too. And honestly. He’s gonna let himself have it. He deserves this, at least this once, he deserves to feel this. So he smiles at Hyunwoo and lets him know that _Yes,_ that it’s okay.

So they both go around taking their things, the presents included, nervousness bubbling up in their stomachs as they face each other by the door, putting on shoes and coats before walking out in the cold air outside. Wonhyun had told them it was okay to take the car back if they wanted to, but they didn’t need that right now. They needed the walk, needed to feel the sharp cold air against their skin as they held onto each other’s hand and walked slowly through the path.

When they arrive at the house, they take off their clothes and their shoes slowly, take their presents to the living room and leave them on the couch. Kihyun faces the older and his insides fill with butterflies when he catches the way Hyunwoo’s looking at him.

“I’m gonna go… freshen up.” Kihyun says, sounding unsure without meaning to. He doesn’t know how to word things right now. “Give me some minutes?” He asks.

Hyunwoo nods, the intense gaze he has fixated on him not letting off for even a second. The ravenette leans down to capture the younger’s lips, and Kihyun doesn’t try to stop the content sigh that escapes from his lips. He wraps his arms around the older’s neck and kisses back with passion, losing himself in Hyunwoo’s lips once again, but this time briefly. He pulls away from him and looks into his eyes as he pushes him away with his hands on his chest, slowly.

“Just a few minutes.” He promises.

Hyunwoo nods again, but this time doesn’t try pulling the brunette against him, letting him go and lock himself in the bathroom before going to the couch. He stops, then, figuring if he’s going to be waiting for Kihyun, he should at least do it in that room.

The piano room.

He walks there slowly, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world, and walks into the room to sit on the divan and wait, staring at the ceiling and trying not to think too much about anything in particular that isn’t the other male’s smile.

In the bathroom, Kihyun is quick to wash up, being certainly used to it. He finishes and walks out of the shower box to get the towel and dry himself up before putting his boxers, pants and shirt back on. He knows it doesn’t make a lot of sense to put clothes back on when he’s about to take them off, but he likes the feeling of being undressed in front of someone else. The idea of doing it in front of Hyunwoo sounds even better.

He looks for a condom he knows he has in his wallet, shoving it in his back pocket, leaving the wallet itself on the counter. He can worry about that later.

Kihyun opens the door and walks out. At first he expects to see Hyunwoo sitting on the couch or their bed, but when he doesn’t see him in either of them, he realizes the older wouldn’t have gone to those places, no. His bare feet barely make a sound against the hardwood floor as he walks quietly to the piano room, showing up at the door. Hyunwoo is there, just like he’d suspected, and looks towards the younger just as he shows up by the door. The younger sighs, feeling his whole body shiver. The older is no longer wearing the sweater, but simply a white shirt he had underneath.

The ravenette motions for him to get closer, and the younger does without hesitance. He stops right in from of Hyunwoo, who takes him by the waist, closer, looking up at him like Kihyun’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen.

“You’re sure about this?” Asks the younger.

“Absolutely.” Whispers the raven haired male.

“You ever fucked an ass before?” Asks the brunette, running his fingers through the older’s dark strands.

The taller nods, his gaze not seeming to be able to leave the younger’s lips. “I have, with an old girlfriend. Yeah.” He answers quietly, tightening his grip on Kihyun’s body.

The shorter bites his lower lip, gripping the hairs by the nape of Hyunwoo’s neck softly, just to see his eyes flutter closed. “Good. Then you know the basics.” He murmurs, voice deeper than usual. “Did you take off your contacts?” Another nod. “Okay.” He whispers. “Take me to the bed.” Commands the brunette, letting his hands rest on the older’s shoulders.

“You don’t wanna do it here?” Asks Hyunwoo, standing slowly and almost accidentally shoving Kihyun away. He plays with a strand of his soft brown hair and looks into his eyes.

“I don’t wanna ruin the divan. It’s not easy to clean and I like it messy.” He explains, smiling teasingly.

The older pulls Kihyun up by the waist, carrying him bridal style. “I believe you.” He chuckles, leaning in to peck his pretty pink lips as he carries the shorter out of the room and into their bedroom. “You know, a guy tries to set up a whole romantic scenario and you shake him off like that.” He jokes.

“You didn’t set up a scenario.” Kihyun chuckles, playing with the hairs by the back of the older’s head, still. “You just sat there.”

“Is this because you’re gonna show me your Digimon kink?” Aks the older playfully, lowering the younger onto the bed and climbing on top of him.

Kihyun slaps his chest weakly with a glare. “I hate you.” He says, spreading his legs so Hyunwoo is able to settle his body between them.

The older is quick to seal their lips again, missing the feeling of the younger’s soft ones against his own, savouring the way he kisses almost expertantly. One of his hands run down to Kihyun’s thigh and pulls it so their bodies are pressed tightly together. Their tongues play together, wet and messy, but slow, lustful movements taking over instead of frantic hurried ones.

Hyunwoo grinds down onto the younger, fully aware they’re both getting rock hard very fast. He pulls back from the brunette’s lips to distribute kisses down his neck, nibbling on the skin there, happy to see the once covered hickeys back where they belong. He feels like making some new ones, so he does. Just a few, though, two or three purple marks against the milky white skin. He moves towards the younger’s ear, fully aware he’s very sensitive in the area, jumping whenever someone comes too close. That’s why he makes a point of breathing heavily against them, nibbling on the arch and kissing where it meets the lateral of his head. Kihyun lets out a surprised gasp at that, the reaction sending a shiver down the ravenette’s body.

“Lie down.” Kihyun asks, pushing against his shoulders to reinforce his point. Hyunwoo hesitantly moves away to lie down next to the younger, back against some pillows so he’s not completely flat down. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s relieved he’s not expected to do everything, having never done this before. Kihyun climbs on top of him, straddling his body with a soft smile on his lips. “It’s okay to be nervous.” He reassures. “I’ll guide you.” He promises. “Do you trust me?”

Hyunwoo agrees without missing a beat. “I do.” He nods.

Kihyun sits on his lap, ass perfectly positioned over the older’s hard on. He rolls his hips slowly, balancing himself with a hand on his chest. Hyunwoo hates that they’re still dressed. “Tell me what you want.” He says.

“I wanna touch you.” Hyunwoo confesses, looking at the man on top of him with glazed over eyes.

“Where?” Kihyun whispers huskily, leaning down to peck the ravenette’s lips teasingly, only letting it linger for a second.

“Everywhere.” Breathes out the older, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. The shorter feels himself heat up as if he was made of metal and had just come in contact with flames.

He takes the older’s bigger hand in his and never leaves his eyes, both lost in desire as he slips the older’s hand under his shirt to touch his torso, run them over his chest, then going back down to his stomach, and even more south, where the older doesn’t even blink when his hand comes in contact with the younger’s clothed erection. “All yours.” Kihyun tells him.

The almost whiny sound Hyunwoo makes at the statement makes all of this worth it, if it already wasn’t. “Take this off.” Asks the older, pulling the hem of the younger’s shirt up, trying to get it out of the way.

Kihyun chuckles and straightens up, pulling off the shirt easily. He’s barely got rid of the piece of fabric and the older’s hands are on his body, feeling up his torso, waist, the dip of his back, his collarbones, and brushing his thumbs over his nipples, which has the younger arching his back and letting out a breathy moan as he rolls his hips against Hyunwoo’s.

The raven haired male pulls Kihyun down softly, sealing their lips together again. Kihyun wraps his arms around his neck and kisses back passionately as he grinds slowly against the older, humming at the delicious friction. This is unfamiliar, and the best thing ever in every single way. He can’t recall a time where he had had this much fun with someone during foreplay. Everything with the guys he’d been with was hurried and messy, wanting to get to the fucking part as quick as possible. This is new. This feels refreshing, feeling the older’s hands all over his body as they rut against each other like horny teenagers just for the sake of it, just because they can.

Though, as much as the brunette loves it, he feels like he might die if he doesn’t get some action soon. He refuses to come in his pants.

“Wanna suck your dick.” He whispers, pulling back. Hyunwoo stalls, expression the most turned on Kihyun has ever seen.

“Yeah, okay, you can do that.” The older nods, breathing heavily.

Kihyun crawls down, lifting the older’s shirt so he can kiss the center of his chest, then distribute the kisses down his torso, running his hands over it slowly, up and down, feeling the hard muscles under his hands, the way Hyunwoo tenses up whenever his fingers get a little too close to his nipples. Kihyun comes around to kissing Hyunwoo’s happy trail, nibbling around the dark hairs.

“I can’t fucking believe you’re so hot you got me to think even your happy trail is attractive.” Kihyun grumbles, looking up with a scowl to meet the older’s eyes. “Whenever I see you shirtless and you go out displaying these fucking belly hairs it makes me wanna mark you up, have my way with you.” He confesses.

Hyunwoo lets out a breathless laugh. “Maybe you should just do that, then.” He teases, running his hands through the younger’s brown strands.

“I’ll keep it in mind.” He hums, nibbling at the place right under Hyunwoo’s belly button as he undoes his pants. He pulls back a bit to watch as he slips his hand inside the older’s pants, over his underwear, to grab his cock, moving his hand up and down slowly, teasingly. He’s so _hard._ Kihyun almost feels pressured by it, but he tries to ignore. He pulls down the pants a bit, the underwear coming with accidently, revealing the angry red of the head of the older’s cock, already leaking a fair amount. The brunette bites back a whine, and just moans instead, biting his lower lip and saying. “Your cock looks like it’s gonna taste so good, jagiya.” He murmurs, voice low and careful. “Can I put it in my mouth, baby?” He asks, looking up at the older through his eyelashes.

Honestly, Hyunwoo couldn’t have nodded faster.

The younger leans down and places a wet kiss on the red head of his cock, giving it a little lick right after. He hums, enticing the older even more. He chuckles wickedly to himself, then wraps his lips around the exposed head, sucking softing, reliving on the way Hyunwoo bucks up weakly into his mouth.

He massages the tip with his tongue, playing with the frenulum for a bit before he gets hungrier for it, and straightens up to pull Hyunwoo’s pants all the way down. He throws them somewhere not important. Kihyun takes the time to take in the other’s naked lower half. He looks right at his cock, and moans at the sight. It’s a little crooked to his left, so goddamn inviting it makes Kihyun shiver all over.

“Fuck, baby, your cock bends to the side.” He groans, taking the shaft in his hand and moving it up and down slowly. “It’s gonna feel so good inside me.” He whines, moving down. He  spreads Hyunwoo’s legs to lie between them, getting in the perfect level to take his cock in hand and share the ravenette’s gaze as he licks his member from base to tip. The older groans inwardly, looking at the shorter with the heaviest lustful gaze Kihyun’s ever had over him.

He doesn’t hesitate on taking his shaft in his mouth, sliding his lips down around it, making it as wet as he can. He closes his eyes and moans, deciding he should stop teasing for now, and bobbing his head up and down the shaft, gripping the older’s thigh contently. Call him a slut and all you want, but Kihyun loves having a cock in his mouth. He stops at the head to suck on it hungrily, playing with tongue, then runs his slick lips down the underside to stop at the base and suck on it, going souther and taking one of Hyunwoo’s balls in his mouth, which has the older throwing his head back and moaning out.

Kihyun’s really good at it. The older had been expecting it, really. Not because his roommate looks like the type of person who loves to suck dick, but because he looks like he’d be very determined at anything he puts his mind to. Not weirdly enough, giving a blowjob is in that list of “anythings”. His mouth feels like velvet, and the perfect amount of wet. He does it like he loves the taste of cock in his mouth, and just the sight would be enough to make Hyunwoo come, but he’s fucking great at it too, on top of it all.

He pulls off to press the head against his tongue while he jerks him off quickly, looking the older straight in the eye, as if daring him to come. Hyunwoo thinks he might end up doing it if things follow the rate they’re doing right now.

“Stop! Ah, fuck, Kihyun I’m gonna come if you keep that up.” He practically begs, taking the sheets in his fists and gripping for his life.

The younger then stops, wrapping his hand at the base of the older’s cock and moving his head up to say “No coming yet.” Before wrapping his lips around the head again and sucking softly.

The stimulation feels like hell, his cock too sensitive but not enough to make him come at the same time. He moans lowly, his mouth slightly parted and his forehead frowned as he grows absolutely insane inside Kihyun’s mouth. It’s stronger than him, the impulse to take the younger’s hair in his first and thrust into the hot velvety cavern that’s his mouth slowly, doing his best to get close to coming, but not exactly there yet.

The younger lets him. He lets Hyunwoo thrust and moan as he gets close to losing himself, but not exactly there, just because it’s so hot to watch and feel that he can’t even process the possibility of not letting him do it.

When the younger decided it’s time to start the _real_ fun part, he pulls off and smirks at the frustrated noise Hyunwoo makes.

“Come on, big boy, come fuck me.” He whispers, crawling over to the older.

Hyunwoo doesn’t hesitate on pulling Kihyun to kiss him, shoving his tongue in his mouth straight away, tasting himself inside the younger. The brunette isn’t done having his fun, though. He pulls away with a smirk and kneels up. “Undress me.” He says.

The older doesn’t know why that turns him on so much, but it does, so he reaches out to smooth his hand over the younger’s clothed erection before starting to undo his pants. He pulls down the pants to reveal the younger’s underwear, then pulls that down too, the brunette’s hard on bobbing against his stomach.

“Never thought I’d think a guy’s dick is cute but here we are.” He comments dumbly, reaching out to take it in his hand and jerk him off. Kihyun bites his lower lip and moans at the direct contact, he wasn’t expecting the older to just grab him like that, so naturally, as if he hadn’t thought he was straight his whole life. The ravenette doesn’t know where he should look at. Kihyun’s cock is smaller than his own, probably a little smaller than average too, but that’s not a big deal. It’s still pretty and pink and a shade lighter than his own, and he kind of really wants to put it in his mouth.

“Lube, we need lube.” Kihyun breathes. “I’ll go get it. Give me a second.” He pushes the older’s hand away gently and leans down to kiss him before taking his pants all the way out and getting off the bed. Hyunwoo takes advantage of the moment to pull off his own shirt.

The younger comes back with the bottle, and stops to take in Hyunwoo’s shirtless body. It’s not exactly new, but knowing he’ll be able to touch and do whatever he wants with him is satisfactory, and it turns him on even more.

“I’m gonna prep myself.” Kihyun tells him. “And you’re gonna sit there all pretty and wait, okay?” He states, straddling the taller once again.

“Why can’t I do it?” Hyunwoo asks, running his hands up and down the milky thighs. “I’ve prepped girls before.” He adds.

“Don’t you wanna watch me do it?” He questions, arching an eyebrow.

The older swallows a around the lump that just made itself present in his throat and nods quietly.

“Good.” He hums, opening the bottle and drizzling some of it on two of his fingers. He closes the cap and throws it to the side, moving his hand between his legs and circling his rim with his middle finger. His eyelids flutter closed, and he sighs. When he starts pushing a finger in, his cock visibly kicks in interest, and Hyunwoo almost chokes on his breath at how hot he looks.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, playing with one of his nipples, the other hand holding him by the hip.

The younger doesn’t say anything, just bites his lip and nods, eyes still closed and head tilted back. He moves the finger in and out for a bit, and he’s so relaxed that he feels ready to push another in. So he complies to what his body is pleading him to do, and pushes the second finger inside, making sure to lube himself up as well as he can. He lets out a breathy moan at the feeling of his fingers pressing against his already swollen prostate and the older’s fingers teasing the hard buds of his nipple.

He pulls the fingers out, not wanting to elongate this more than he has to. So he lowers himself and reaches for his pants to take out the condom packet. “You’re absolutely sure you wanna do this, aren’t you?” He asks the older again, looking him in the eye, trying to tell him silently that if he wants to back away it’s okay.

But Hyunwoo has never been so sure of anything before this moment, and he makes sure Kihyun knows that.

The younger rips open the package, and rolls the condom down Hyunwoo’s cock smoothly. He takes the lube bottle and gets some on him.

“Come on, big boy.” He whispers, leaning in to kiss the older softly. The ravenette wraps his arms around Kihyun’s waist and kisses back, almost in a trance at this point. “Let’s see how you like it.” He teases, lips brushing while he lines Hyunwoo up and starts sinking down. The older moans out, gritting his teeth and tightening his arms around Kihyun’s waist.

The brunette lets out a soft moan, and takes Hyunwoo by the hair, making the older look him in the eye as he rolls his hips slowly around him, grinding teasingly. “Do you like that, big boy?” He asks. “Is it better than fucking a pussy, hm?” He whispers against the older’s lips, swiping his tongue over his lower lip. “Does my pussy feel better?”

Hyunwoo can’t do much besides moaning and trying to buck up into the younger. Kihyun takes mercy on him, though, and starts bouncing up and down on his cock, feeling the older’s slightly crooked cock hit him in the most wonderful places. “Ah, Hyunwoo. You feel so good.” He moans, gripping the ravenette’s hair a little harder. “Fuck!”

“Oh my god.” Moans the taller, bucking up at the same time Kihyun slides down onto him, moaning quietly and desperate. Kihyun pushes him against the pillows and holds himself over him, in a way that makes it easier for Hyunwoo to hold him in place and fuck up into him as fast and hard as he can.

The first powerful thrust has Kihyun screaming out, digging his nails on the ravenette’s shoulder. He bites his lower lip and tries to muffle his sounds, out of habit, and rolls his hips down onto the older’s cock frantically. Hyunwoo moves his head and catches his lips, swallowing his desperate moans as well as muffling his own.

“Fuck into my tight pussy, go on.” Kihyun groans into his mouth. “Fuck my boypussy like I know you can, big boy.” He practically roars, biting into his lower lip and whining at a pointed thrust against his prostate.

Hyunwoo is gonna go insane. He hold onto Kihyun like his life depends on it, thrusting upwards and moaning as if he’s damned. His body doesn’t understand what he’s feeling. He himself doesn’t understand. Feeling this strongly both romantically and sexually about someone feels like it could be dangerous, but it is a game of survival after all.

Kihyun throws his head back, legs aching from the movements he’s making. He whimpers at every touch, cries out when Hyunwoo starts sucking and biting on his neck. He feels like he’s going to burst at any moment. This might be the hottest moment in his entire life, getting to feel somewhat dominant towards this built, tall guy who’s all wrapped up around him and snug inside him, and crying into his skin like he’ll do just about anything he asks.

“You feel so fucking good inside me, hyung.” Kihyun moans. “I’m gonna make you come so good you’re gonna forget what is like to fuck a pussy. The only thing you’ll be thinking about is my ass.”

“F-Fuck!” Hyunwoo cries out. He leans down and takes one of the younger’s nipple into his mouth, and suck on it hungrily, fucking into him desperately, reaching his release. Kihyun grips his hair yet again, and tightens his fingers around his shoulder. He clenches around Hyunwoo erratically, rolling his hips onto him and calling his name like a mantra.

The older takes his cock in hand, trying to get him there too, but ends up climaxing first with a low moan and a frown, holding the younger by the hips and slamming him down onto him. He falls back and pants, recovering from the orgasm.

Kihyun clenches weakly around him, also panting, accidentally. The ravenette pulls him closer so that the younger is practically lying on him, his softening member slipping out and fits a hand between his legs and pushes two fingers inside, wrapping the other around his cock.

It only takes a few thrusts against his prostate and some tugs on his cock for Kihyun to come onto the older’s stomach, crying out softly and sobbing quietly at the feeling.

“Ah, fuck.” He whispers, sounding like he’s whimpering.

“You okay?” Hyunwoo asks, rubbing his back and kissing his temple.

The brunette nods against his skin. “Yeah.”

They sit there in silence. Kihyun slips his hands down to pull the condom off Hyunwoo’s now soft member and ties a knot on it, throwing it into the bin that’s placed conveniently close to the bed. He sighs and falls back onto the older, not seeming to care too much about the sperm that’s gluing their bodies together.

“We have to get cleaned up, yeobo.” Hyunwoo tells him. The younger hums, but doesn’t move immediately.

Only about two minutes later he lifts himself up, sitting next to Hyunwoo and then grimacing.

“Hurts?” Asks the older, also sitting up.

“Nah. I just feel gross.” He explains. “There’s come and sweat all over me and lube in my ass.” Kihyun elaborates.

“Understandable.” Hyunwoo jokes.

They take turns in the shower. Kihyun goes first since he’s the one who gets more bothered by it.

When Hyunwoo walks out of the bathroom, he’s already dressed. He brushes his teeth and then turns off the lights. The ravenette walks around the house to make sure everything is locked, and then walks back to the bedroom. He stops by the door, observing as Kihyun lies there, wearing pajama pants and a jumper he probably hasn’t noticed used to be Hyunwoo’s.

The image of the younger lying on his bed, with his clothes on, and sporting hickeys he made on him makes him feel giddy. Everything about the younger screams “mine”, and a rather selfish part of his brain seems to like that a lot.

He’s so focused on the image that he ends up accidentally tripping and banging his head on a wall.

“Fuck!” He groans, gripping his skull.

“What was that?” Kihyun’s voice asks, and soon enough he’s there, crouching next to the older. “Are you okay?” He questions, trying to get the older to look at him.

“Yeah. I’m just stupid.”

“What happened?” Asks the brunette, helping the other to stand up and follow him onto the bedroom.

Hyunwoo doesn’t know how to phrase he tripped because he was being possessive over the younger, so he uses the other excuse.

“I’m not wearing my contacts.” He explains.

Kihyun hums in understanding, pulling him to the bed along with him.

The older turns to him, laying on his side with Kihyun mirroring him, and wraps an arm around him to have the younger against him, as if what they just did wasn’t enough.

“You’re really pretty.” He mumbles, looking into the younger’s eyes. Kihyun is almost asleep at this point, so his acknowledgement to the statement is a sleepy smile.

Hyunwoo doesn’t mind, though, because just this moment is enough.

“Happy christmas, jagiya.” Hyunwoo whispers, pecking Kihyun’s lips softly before the both of the drift off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember you guys can always ask me about updates on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) or in the comments. I'm always around even if I'm not posting, and I'll answer whatever you want to know unless it's a spoiler <3  
> I hope not to take that long for the next one  
> Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed it, they make me very happy and motivated and I really need that rn haha <3  
> This whole chapter might sound like a lot but Idk, I can see it happening  
> (I was just being mean, the word count is: 18,911)


	9. Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something random I feel like I should address: I've mentioned in the first three chapters how "single" Minhyuk was. All of those times it was Kihyun who said that. Kihyun, Jooheon and Changkyun are the only ones who knew Minhyuk was seeing someone. But since he and Naomi aren't official yet, it's a recurrent joke how single Minhyuk is since he hasn't seriously dated in some time. I did it on purpose, but then realized it might have been confusing for you guys. So hopefully this will clarify some things.  
> -  
> -  
> Y'ALL  
> This is a rather short chapter, it's only 7.4k  
> I hope you don't hate me by the end of it <3 <3  
> Happy friday the 13th!!!

 

 

 

> Why is it you? I’m going crazy  
>  What is this? I think I’ve fallen for you  
>  All day, in my head  
>  Round and round it goes  
>  A question mark, every day  
>  I know you have thorns  
>  But I want you, red rose

 

When Kihyun first wakes up, he feels warm. Not warm because the heater is finally working properly, no, but because he has his cheek against Hyunwoo’s chest, and the older’s arms around him. It’s because he’s in the older’s arms just like the older had been times before, when they fell asleep on the couch, when they laid on the floor, all those times Hyunwoo would bury his face against the younger’s warm skin. This time it’s the other way around, and it’s just as nice. The warmth is more of an emotional thing than anything.

The brunette has an arm resting on the older’s chest, palm down, fingers curled in due to his body relaxing as he fell asleep, as if he had been feeling his heartbeat. If he tries to pay attention, he will actually be able to hear it. Sometimes he wakes up at night and doesn’t remember, as if he was sleepwalking. He’s only aware of that fact because he’s been told, but he usually doesn’t do much, the farthest he’s come to is sitting up and saying something and then lying back down. It’s possible that’s what happened, that the explanation to why he’s waking up in a position he didn’t fall asleep in is because he moved towards the older in his sleep, into his arms, and Hyunwoo might have either woken up or reacted the same way while asleep.

He’s overcome by an unusual feeling altogether. He’s woken up cuddled up to someone before, but that’s usually just Minhyuk. It’s not happened before for him to wake up cuddled up to someone he’s had sex with the night before. Usually his hook ups either leave first, or he does, and if he stays the night to be rejected the next day, it’s by sleeping on each opposite side of the mattress.

Just the fact that this is _Hyunwoo_ next to him, after having his way with him and holding him like they belong together just like that, makes his chest burst with what could be explained as confetti for some, a warm beam of light to others, maybe popping candy too, if the person in question is feeling creative, but no description is ever enough, because he feels overwhelmed by whatever it is. Kihyun feels intensively; physically and emotionally attracted to this man. He doesn’t know what to do if he’s being honest. He gets torn between distributing kisses all over his cheek-ful face and wanting to push him down on the bed and sucking him off sometimes. He usually settles for the first one, but it’s a hard choice.

He pushes himself up, then, after thinking hard about what to do, and lets his chest touch the older’s as he watches him. He looks cute, as always, and it makes the younger want to wake him up so he can tell him that and kiss him silly. He doesn’t do it because he knows that would be mean, but _god,_ does he want to kiss this man.

Kihyun figures he should, anyways, and that he can do it quietly enough the ravenette won’t notice. He leans in slowly, trying not to make any noise or move too much, and presses his lips softly against the older’s. Just a quick peck, to satiate him for now. Then he pulls back and lies back down, his face hidden in the crook of the older’s neck. He breathes in, inhaling the familiar scent, and smiling softly.

First comes the thought of wanting to express it, then his body goes rigid, and he almost scolds himself loudly. Just the idea that he could have _thought_ of it is too much to bare. He can’t think of it, let alone say it. He needs to control himself before he lets it escape.

What would happen if he told Hyunwoo he loves him just like that? Out of nowhere? He would rather not find out.

Kihyun decides that this is too dangerous already. He pushes himself away and up, crawling out of bed. He’s feeling giddy, full of emotions, so he might as well go to the piano room — where everything seems to take place — and play something.

The brunette walks there slowly, almost as if he was dancing. He’s the only one who’s already up, and smiles widely as he tiptoes to the other room, the sleeves of the hoodie he’s wearing reaching the tip of his fingers. He holds onto it, realizing this might be Hyunwoo’s.

It only makes him smile wider, and hide his face in his hands as his chest bursts with happiness as if he was a teenage girl who just got to kiss her crush.

He throws himself onto the divan first, running his hands over his bare thighs and picturing Hyunwoo’s hands instead. It would be nice if he laid there and looked extra cute and sexy, and the older found him. Who knows which of the numerous possibilities would take place. But with his luck, he might end up being found by either Hoseok or Hyungwon. Or both, worst case scenario.

If Hyunwoo walked in on him like this. It would be pretty romantic, like an old movie, if they were to make out in the divan, if they got to have sex over the piano. Only in the real world, it would break, and they would be in a lot of trouble.

Kihyun is not the most romantic person in the world, but the fact he has a chance to be romanced for once is enough for his brain to go crazy.

The brunette sighs, pulling down his shorts so it won’t look like he’s not wearing pants and sitting up, running his hands over the smooth surface of the divan. He looks right, getting a glimpse of the outside through the window, and then stands, taking quiet and small steps to the piano, feeling as light as a feather. As he sits down, he closes his eyes and inhales deeply, remembering how it felt to play while Hyunwoo kept a heavy gaze on him. Recalling the feeling of being the center of attention to the only person that matters.

He presses onto random notes with his right hand, emitting a small sound. He breathes out, a small smile on his lips. He can’t express what he feels with words, but maybe with music. So he thinks. Wonders what it should be, what songs he still knows how to play, and if that even matters.

Back in the day, when he learned how to play Beautiful, another song had also caught his attention, for no other reason than the fact that the melody was beautiful, along with the lyrics, and he wanted it to himself. He wanted so desperately that strong attachment to someone who wanted him back. So he [ starts playing it ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFlNsADD5a8), trying to feel his emotions at their maximum, so he can let go of the overwhelming feelings that have taken over him, and he won’t be stuck with them and feel it all over again whenever he looks at Hyunwoo.

Love, on itself, is a funny little thing. Comes up behind you when you least expect it to. And as much as he’s scared to admit that’s what might be happening, Kihyun knows what he’s been feeling for Hyunwoo these past days isn’t just a crush anymore. _He’s so scared._ Incredibly enough, though, all of that doesn’t seem to matter at this exact moment, when the bliss of having spent the night with the other and woken up in his arms the next day is still engraved in his body like scarring flesh.

The melody that’s filling the room is completely ambiguous. He knows that because if he had chosen to play in a moment of despair, broken hearts or disappointments, it would still fit. And maybe that’s why he chose it, because he does not know if he should be jumping around in joy or recoiling in bitterness. That’s probably what it is;

_Bittersweetness._

He starts wondering, going back to when he met the man who’s now sleeping on their shared bed, if this was bound to happen from the beginning. He remembers thinking he was attractive, remembers thinking he was nice if not a little awkward. He remembers warming up to his stoic but serene personality, how the older can crack a joke out of nowhere, and just the randomness of it makes you laugh, not the actual joke. He remembers the first time they sat down together on the couch to watch something, and how you could cut the tension with a knife, and remembers the terror of thinking Hyunwoo might have been caught in an accident, and staying up, restless, waiting for news, and also remembers hugging him for the first time and being hugged back, and realizing that day that Hyunwoo was a part or his home too, and not just someone who lived in it.

It makes him wonder, in all honesty, if maybe meeting Hyunwoo was good for him. If this thing happening between them was supposed to affect him so deeply out of nowhere. And there is a part of his brain, a rational part of his brain, that knows he’s fallen so deeply and quickly because he’s already known this man for three months, already has an emotional attachment to him, and coming back to his hometown with him, seeing him interact with his family and act towards Kihyun in a way that was unknown by him, has made these feeling develop in a way that could very well already be love.

Nonetheless, he smiles. He can worry about all of this later. He can have all these worries take over him later, when he actually _cares_ about it all, because right now he doesn’t. Kihyun honestly doesn’t give a shit. He deserves to have this, to feel this bliss and to feel content at least once. He needs this.

The piano always listens. It’s there when he needs to talk and it never judges, and he remembers Yoongi once telling him, back when he was fifteen and the boy bid his farewell to him, that he should trust the instrument. Back when he learned how to play because of a crush on the same boy, he had his words as incentive, took them as his strength. The day Yoongi left, he had told him the same thing, but added something else just for him. The boy had said _‘The piano accepted me, and if you need it, it’ll accept you too.’_

God knows how much acceptance he would need in the years that followed. Maybe Yoongi did know, after all. Maybe he knew it was all gonna happen. Though it’s a little ridiculous to think about the possibility of the boy knowing, about ten years ago, that he would be falling in love with his roommate.

The things his brain does to stop him from thinking about feelings are unbelievable sometimes.

He chuckles and finishes the song, bringing his hands to his lap and shaking his head slowly. The sound of someone clearing their throat has him snapping his head back, startled.

“Good afternoon. Sorry for surprising you like this.” Joshua chuckles as he walks into the room. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay.” Kihyun smiles, moving aside so the younger can sit beside him. “I wasn’t paying attention so I didn’t hear you come in.” He explains. “Good afternoon to you too.”

“Yeah, I rang the doorbell a few times and was about to give up when Hoseok-hyung opened the door. He said you’d be in here and went back to bed when I told him I’d come call you myself.”

The younger raises his eyebrows. He was so focused on playing and deep in his thoughts that he missed the sound of the doorbell. “Sorry about that.” He says. “My mind was elsewhere.”

Joshua beams at him. “That’s okay.” He says. “Did you have fun last night?” He questions.

Kihyun blushes slightly at the thought Joshua might know about what happened between him and Hyunwoo, then remembers christmas is also something that happened the night before.

“Yeah! You know, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but it was nice to spend time together like that.” He says. “What about you?”

“Just picture a typical american christmas party and a typical korean christmas and mash them up together. Basically that.” He laughs. “It’s fun. Totally not traditional, but I like it.”

“That’s nice.” The older smiles with a nod. “Did you come to wish us a merry christmas?” He asks.

“That too.” Joshua agrees. There’s a pause in which he seems to be in deep thought. Then he smiles and says “Happy christmas.”, chuckling immediately after.

“Happy christmas.” Kihyun says back, smiling even if a little puzzled.

The other brunette sighs. “The other thing I wanted to say, well…” He trails off. “We’ve known each other for quite a while, haven’t we?” He asks. “We lost contact because life got in the way and I’m guessing we’ve never been that close to begin with, anyways.”

“That’s not-” Kihyun tries to say.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Joshua smiles. “As you know, I’ll be moving to Seoul next year. So I thought I should maybe give myself a chance, and tell you something, since we’ll be seeing more of each other, hopefully.”

Kihyun couldn’t be more lost in this conversation than he is right now, but still nods in encouragement.

“I’ve always felt a little different towards you, hyung, if I’m being honest. And I didn’t want to admit it before, or allow myself to accept what it was. But then you came out five years ago, and I realized that I’ve always had this stupid crush on you.” Kihyun’s eyes widen at the statement. “Everytime I see you, it’s like a fire relights in me, because I feel it all over again.” He bites the inside of his cheek. “So I thought I’d give this a shot, finally, and try my luck at being with you.” The younger says.

Kihyun doesn’t really say anything, too worked up on what’s happening at the moment to react. He’s trying to process, even if slowly.

But then Joshua leans in and seals their lips together, and Kihyun’s mind goes blank. The younger waits, planning to pull away if the older doesn’t respond to it, knowing there’s a chance he might not, but Kihyun does. Joshua’s lips feel nice against his, and he kisses back, bringing his hands to his chest as he enjoys the moment for what it is. The younger is a good kisser and Kihyun doesn’t really think about anything else but how nice this is.

None of them hear when Hyunwoo walks out of the bedroom and enters the room, only to stop on his tracks and take silent steps back, stunned by the sight of his boyfriend kissing someone else. His face assumes a shocked expression, and he leans with his back against the wall next to the door, where he can’t he be seen.

The ravenette had woken up to the sound of Kihyun playing, and had waited for a few minutes after he was finished, wondering if he was planning to play more, and if he meant he was on a good mood. So he decided to walk in there and take him in his arms and kiss him good morning, maybe lie him down on the divan like they did two days prior and kiss him all over, running his hands all over his body until the younger is soft and pliant with his touches. He had dreamed big, probably, but all of those thoughts were so nice he didn’t want to let go of that fairytale.

So to walk in on Kihyun kissing Joshua like he didn’t have any other care in the world, like they hadn’t had sex the night before and he hadn’t told Hyunwoo he was all his. He smiles bitterly. Of course. He was stupid to think this wouldn’t happen. Kihyun was bound to find someone who would love and appreciate him fully, who can just come clean to him about their feelings. He had heard their voices before entering the room, and he had heard enough.

He decides it’s not on him to have a say on this. It’s Kihyun’s life after all, and they’re going to break up after they go back to Seoul anyways, so why should it matter? Maybe they’ll break up before that so that Kihyun can be with Joshua after all. Kihyun deserves the best, and maybe Hyunwoo isn’t it. With those thoughts in mind, the older walks away slowly, going back into the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Joshua parts the kiss first, but stays close and smiles softly, looking at Kihyun’s speechless expression. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” He chuckles. “You have no idea.” He adds, taking the younger’s hands from his chest and holding them in his.

The older doesn’t say anything. He’s not processed this yet. He feels dizzy, too much information all at once, when he already had a storm inside him to begin with.

“I’m gonna ask you to think about this. It’s all I want. If you don’t want anything then we can still be just friends. I’m going to Seoul anyways and maybe we can hang out more there.” Joshua tells him, pulling away.

“Shua, I-”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t say anything now.” The younger interrupts. “I’m going to show myself out. Don’t stress over it, hyung.” He says softly, and kisses the older’s forehead before walking away.

Kihyun’s feels as if he’s underwater. Like he can’t really hear or see anything straight, and everything’s a little farther away than comfortable. He lets his head fall on the keys, emitting a loud out of tune sound. He doesn’t know if he wants to cry or scream. Or what the hell is happening in his head. He’s done with feelings, honestly, can’t they be medically extracted or something?

He tries to shake it off. The brunette stands up and runs a hand through his hair, telling himself this is stupid and that it’s gotta stop. He was kissed by Joshua, and all he has to do now is turn him down easy. He can just tell Hyunwoo about it and they’ll laugh it out and have a nice afternoon together, like the one he woke up wishing for.

But first, eat something.

He walks out of the room looking around like the place is completely unknown to him, even if he practically grew up here, it feels weird, like he’s outta his mind. He probably is, the confusing feelings he’s trying to ignore are still affecting him. He stops in front of the kitchen counter, staring at nothing at the stone surface, but his mind elsewhere. Should he wake someone else up? To distract himself? Should he just go up to Hyunwoo and tell him Joshua kissed him and that it was so unexpected he almost cried?

Kihyun doesn’t really have to think hard about it, because a few minutes into his inner turmoil, Hyungwon walks out of the bedroom.

“Morning.” He mumbles.

“It’s past noon.” Kihyun tells him, chuckling, but now looking up from the counter.

“Whatever.” The younger says. “Something really interesting happening on that counter?” He asks, approaching him and trying to see what the hell the shorter is staring at, but Kihyun turns around and meets his eyes.

“I was just thinking.” He smiles, moving away.

Hyungwon hums. “Ooookay.” He whispers to himself. “How was your night?” He decides to ask.

The younger stops on his track for about 0.5 second before proceeding to take the plate from the cupboard. “What do you mean?” He asks, back to the other.

The brown haired male frowns. “I mean… How was your night? I don’t know how to be more clear.” He states, confused, then realization downs on him. “You had sex with him.” He says. It’s not a question.

Kihyun sighs and lets his head hang forward. “Maybe.” He says.

“Oh my god!” The taller whisper-yells. “Tell me everything.” He rushes to the brunette and turns him to face him. “Was it amazing? Did you feel like you were in the olympus or something? Did his cum taste like ambrosia?”

 _“Jesus Christ,_ how much fucking nasty can you get?” The older splutters, pushing him away as Hyungwon falls into a fit of giggles. “Yes, my god, we had sex. It was okay.”

“Just okay?” The younger says, sounding disappointed. “Was it because it was his first time with a guy? Did he bottom? I thought you were a bottom.” He says a sentence after the other, not waiting for the other to answer a single one. “When me and Hoseok first-”

“Okay! I don’t wanna know!” The brunette interrupts him before he feels the need to glue his ears shut. “That’s none of your business. But since you seem to be so invested in it, yes I bottomed, and it was great. Happy?”

“Very.” The younger smiles wide.

“You’re so goddamn creepy.” He mumbles back. “You and Minhyuk would make a great pair.”

“Stop attacking me. You can’t tell Hoseok because he doesn’t know and you can’t tell Minhyuk because he would be pissed, so at least you have me.” The taller says.

Kihyun stops in his tracks and curls his lips. “Yeah I guess you’re right.” He says.

“Why are you so quiet though? Shouldn’t you be at least in a good mood after getting laid? Did something bad happen?”

“No, nothing bad happened between us, It was-”

“Hyung! You’re up!” Hyungwon cuts him off, smiling wide at Hyunwoo, who’s walking out of the bedroom.

“Hey.” The older’s deep voice echoes into the room. Kihyun frowns to himself. Before, he was excited for when the older woke up so they could be all over each other, but now he’s not so sure. The thing with Joshua took him out of his dazed and in love mind. But he has to remember Hyunwoo doesn’t know it happened, and doesn’t deserve to be treated coldly just because Kihyun’s mind is all messed up.

So he turns around and smiles at the older. “Hey.”

The ravenette looks at him. Actually, he _stares,_ and the younger feels the need to touch his face to make sure there isn’t a hole burned through his head. It’s a weird stare, and Kihyun’s about to ask him about it, when Hyunwoo smiles softly at him and walks closer. The brunette’s heart jumps so wildly in his chest he feels like it might collapse. The older presses a kiss to his forehead before moving aside and grabbing a glass to fill with water.

“Sleep well, hyung?” Hyungwon asks.

Hyunwoo hums as he gulps down the water, then puts the glass in the sink before looking in the other’s direction and saying “Very well.” And smiling. Kihyun blushes a deep scarlet. “You?”

“Well, me and Hoseok got home about five in the morning, but all things considered, we slept well. We got home and fell straight to sleep, barely had time to wash up.” He tells the ravenette.

“Okay, we get it, you didn’t have sex.” Kihyun says with no emotion in his voice, and walks out towards the dining table.

Hyunwoo follows him with his eyes and then shares a look with Hyungwon.

The bedroom door opens, and the last resident walks out rubbing his eyes and stretching out his arms. “Are you guys having a party without me?” He asks with a chuckle.

“Absolutely.” Hyunwoo replies.

“Such a bummer.” Hyungwon adds in. “We wanted to have fun without you.” He says with fake disappointment.

The blond clicks his tongue. “Impossible.” He smiles. His boyfriend rolls his eyes. The older then approaches Kihyun, who’s setting the plates on the table, and pokes his side. “Yo, what did Joshua want?” He asks.

Hyungwon frowns. “Joshua was here? When?”

The brunette coughs. “He just wanted to wish me- uh, _us_ a happy christmas.” He explains.

“How nice.” Hoseok comments.

Everyone misses the looks Hyunwoo shoots the brunette, sad and disappointed, if anything.

“Hey! Can we have ramen for lunch?” The blond asks.

“I can’t see why not.” The ravenette answers.

Kihyun looks down at the table with a pout. “I just put down these plates though.” He says.

“If it means so much to you we have eat on the plates. But we’ll make a mess.” Hyungwon tells him.

Kihyun moves faster than ever seen before to take the plates away.

Hyungwon starts taking out bowls to put them on the table and Hyunwoo starts filling a pot with water to help the two youngest. Hoseok does the bare minimum.

“Hey, Hyunwoo-yah, what happened to your head?” Hoseok asks when the taller pushes his fringe back as he runs a hand through his hair.

The ravenette frowns. “What do you mean?” He asks, and touches the top of his head.

“Your forehead. It’s bruised and it looks swollen.” The oldest elaborates. Hyungwon twists his body so he can have a look, pushing the older’s hair back. It’s by the top of his forehead, disappearing under his hairline.

“He’s right.” He says. “Does it hurt?”

“Oh! That.” Kihyun interrupts. “He hit his head on the wall.” He explains.

Hyunwoo seems to be able to catch up on what they’re talking about and nods. “Yeah, I tripped on my way back from the bathroom and hit the wall.”

Hyungwon grimaces.

“Ouch.” The blond says. “Are you okay though?” He asks.

The taller nods. “Yeah, if I don’t hit the place then it doesn’t hurt.” He assures them.

Kihyun approaches him. “It does look swollen though.” He says, moving to push the older’s black strands back, but Hyunwoo holds his wrist.

“I said it’s fine.” He says. “Stop worrying about it.” And drops the younger’s hand.

Kihyun feels a little hurt by the sudden cut off, but just nods and moves to get the ramen noodles.

“I’m feeling so lazy today.” Hyungwon comments.

“When are you not?” The blond male asks with a smile, wrapping his arms around his thin waist.

The taller drops his head forward and bumps their foreheads together. “I feel like I’m always being attacked around here.” He mumbles with a pout.

“Stop with the PSA!” Kihyun complains, throwing a dish towel at them. They chuckle and separate, and the brunette stares at them longingly, remembering that’s what he was hoping would happen between him and Hyunwoo this morning.

So maybe not.

“Do you guys wanna do anything today?” Kihyun asks as he starts making the ramen.

“I don’t know. Maybe play a game?” Suggests the brown haired male.

“That reminds me.” Hyunwoo starts. “We think Kihyun’s old Playstation 2 might be in your room.”

Hoseok lights up immediately. “Oh my god! I remember that!” He claps his hands. “Let’s go find it!” He pulls both Hyungwon and Hyunwoo by their arms and drags them to the bedroom. Kihyun chuckles at what it looks like they’re doing.

Soon there are voices and laughter, and the shorter male can’t help himself but to make fun of them.

“Don’t you have too much fun in there without me!” The brunette calls out.

The three of them com out carrying a worn out box that looks very familiar to him.

“You can’t expect us to let you have Hyunwoo all to yourself.” The blond jokes before putting the box down on the coffee table.

“I know he’s hot and kind, but he’s also all mine, so you better keep your hands off.” He sing songs, smirking.

There’s a sound of someone snorting, and the shorter male looks up expecting an amused expression, but the ravenette’s face is lacking emotions, as it used to be constantly when they first started living together. He could even pass as annoyed, if you looked hard enough.

“What games do we have?” Kihyun asks the other two man trying to put up the console.

“Well…” Hoseok starts, squinting. “There’s like four games.”

“Nope, five. There’s two discs inside this case here.” Hyungwon announces, waving the plastic in hands.

“So what are we playing?” Hyunwoo asks, moving closer to them.

The two of them hum before Hyungwon speaks up. “We have Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi.” He says, squinting at the package.

“2.” Hoseok adds.

The taller male rolls his eyes. “Yes. 2. And we’ve also got Super Mario Bros, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, FIFA 2-” He interrupts himself with a sneeze. “2007.” Hyungwon finishes with a sniff.

“And in this case there’s GTA San Andreas and Justice League Heroes.” The blond male on the floor adds in. “I wonder if all of them still work.”

Kihyun snorts. “You can count on GTA not to work.” He calls out to them.

“I remember this shit not working well when it was like only two years old.” Hoseok laughs.

The ravenette approaches them and sits on the sofa, watching as they test each game.

Soon Kihyun is done with the ramen, and they all grab their bowls and chopsticks to line up and serve themselves some.

 _“God,_ Kihyunie. I missed your ramen. Hyungwon can’t cook for shit.” Hoseok groans as he shoves the noodles in his mouth.

Kihyun chuckles at him, and Hyunwoo snickers when Hyungwon emits an offended whine from the back of his throat.

“That’s not fair! _You_ cook your own damn ramen.” The taller brown haired man punches his boyfriend’s shoulder lightly. “Ass.”

Kihyun is giggling wildy at this point, face pink, trying not to choke on the ramen in his mouth, nor spit it out.

“Be careful.” Hyunwoo laughs as he takes a napkin and wipes Kihyun’s tears with them. The younger finally swallows down the food and takes in a deep breath.

“I thought I was gonna die.” He whispers. “Don’t make me laugh when I’m eating!” He scolds, the blond male shooting him a toothy smile. Hyunwoo brushes a strand of brown hair off the younger’s eyes. “Thank you, jagiya.” Kihyun says.

The older grins at him and goes back to eating, scrunching up the napkin he used to wipe the younger’s cheeks.

As they eat, bickering and snapping at each other as usual, the younger finds himself lost in thought as he glances at Hyunwoo and takes him in. He eats like he’s angry, frowning and bringing in his eyebrows. He eats fast and as if it was his last meal. Kihyun feels a bit flattered by how much he seems to like the food, and almost reaches out to run his hands through his soft black hair, but doesn’t. He doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Hyungwon points it out.

The brunette blushes and looks down at his food, shoving it into his mouth and pretending to be very concentrated on it.

“Okay, so FIFA and Justice League aren’t working anymore. We have Dragon Ball, Crash and Mario.” Hoseok explains as everyone sits down in the living room.

“I think Dragon ball since you can play Versus. Otherwise it’s just gonna be the remaining three screaming at the person playing.” Kihyun says, tugging on his earring.

Hyungwon sighs with a smile. “Just like the old times.”

The brunette scoffs with a roll of his eyes.

“I wanna go first.” Hyunwoo says, sitting down and taking a joystick in hands.

“I’ll go against you then.” Hoseok sits next to him.

“Oh this is gonna be so boring.” The brown haired male sighs, lying down and resting his head on Kihyun’s lap.

“Yeah. You’re both so soft it’s gonna be like watching kids play with dolls.” The shorter agrees.

And besides Hoseok’s screams and Hyunwoo’s booming laugh, the match is essentially friendly. Hyunwoo wins, and passes to the second round.

The chaos itself starts when Hyungwon and Kihyun go against each other, and by the end of it they have to be held back by the other two males. In the end, Hyungwon wins, and Kihyun sits on the couch, annoyed, while Hoseok pokes at him.

The two tallest male go against each other rather smoothly at first. Then, as Hyungwon is winning by a considerably high score, Hyunwoo pushes him to the side, and the skinnier male falls with an “oof” sound. The older wins the match and smiles wickedly at Hyungwon, who squints at him angrily.

“Not fair.” The younger claims.

Kihyun snickers. “Great job, baby.” He says to Hyunwoo, who looks over his shoulder with a small smile that the brunette knows is not that genuine.

“Thanks.” He says.

Kihyun sighs, they’ll have to talk. Later.

Hoseok and Hyungwon go against each other, and the older loses. He wins against Kihyun, and the brunette wins against Hyunwoo. Once they get fed up with it, they switch to Crash Bandicoot, and play rock paper scissors to see who’s gonna be the first one.

Kihyun wins and sits down to play the first level, the other three watching and complaining from the sofa. Once the younger goes through, Hyungwon takes over to play the next level, getting mad quickly at the other three for telling him what to do and complaining about his mistakes.

“You’re all annoying as hell, Jesus Christ.” He mutters as he passes the joystick to Hyunwoo and throws himself on the couch next to Kihyun.

“Stop being a drama queen. You were horrible.” Kihyun tells him.

“Once again, I have all the right to be a drama queen. I’m an actor.” He snaps right back, crossing his arms.

“I’m not sure I’m good enough at this not to fuck it up.” The ravenette says, not taking his away from the screen for even a second.

“If Wonie did even with his fucked up finger then I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Hoseok encourages.

Kihyun takes Hyungwon’s right hand in his. “What fucked up finger?” He asks. The taller takes his hand away and shows Kihyun the other one.

“Here.” He shows. “I broke this middle finger when I was younger.”

“Twice.” The blond adds.

“What? Why _this_ finger? And how did you do it twice?”

“Well usually the middle finger is the longest finger so it usually is the one that gets fucked with balls.” Hyungwon tells him.

There’s a moment of silence before Hoseok snorts and starts laughing uncontrollably and Kihyun laughs so hard with his hand over his mouth he’s almost sure he’s drooling. Hyungwon looks like he’s regretting all of his life choices.

“I meant at PE classes! Goddamnit.” He says, slapping Hoseok’s biceps.

“How many innuendos can you find in that sentence?” Kihyun asks, wiping his eyes.

“What did I miss?” Hyunwoo asks, trying to jump over a turtle.

“You were supposed to use the shell as a trampoline, hyung.” Hyungwon says.

“Shit.”

“Guys, while we were laughing Hyunwoo lost about five lives.” Hoseok says. “Shit, now I’ve gotta survive with two.” He groans, throwing himself over Hyungwon’s lap.

“Get the fuck off me you weirdo.” The taller laughs, pushing him away. “Go take over the responsibility over the hedgehog.”

Hoseok groans. “Goddamnit.” He takes the controller Hyunwoo’s offering to him and sits down. Hyunwoo moves to the couch so he can sit where Hoseok was seated before.

“You’ve got this.” Hyunwoo assures him.

“Easy to say when you used up all the lives.” Hyungwon mutters.

Kihyun kicks him. “Respect your elders!”

The taller looks around with wide eyes as if trying to look for someone else who might have witnessed the injustice he’s been through.

“Break that box over there and you’ll have enough apples for a life!” Kihyun calls out, seconds before the older falls into a hole and dies. The brunette sighs. “Unbelievable…”

“Shut up.” Hoseok bites back. “I’ve missed playing this.” He comments from the floor.

Kihyun lies on his side, throwing his legs onto Hyungwon’s lap and his head on Hyunwoo’s.

“You’ve gotten better, clearly.” He comments.

The older snorts.

“Careful with the plant!” Hyungwon calls out.

“Remember when we used to play it back in Ilsan and your mom would get so mad at us for screaming that she threatened kicking us out?” Kihyun asks, smiling fondly at the memory.

Though, in the game, Hoseok promptly dies from accidently jumping on a Nitro box, and stares at the Game Over screen silently, his back turned to the couch. Hyungwon moves to him, kneeling down next to the older, and the other two are left confused.

“What’s up?” Kihyun asks, looking puzzled as he watches the muted exchange of words.

Hyungwon stands back up and smiles at him, a tight lipped one. “Nothing.” He says. “Should we play something else?”

“What something else?” Asks Hyunwoo, also standing.

“Maybe a board game?” The brown haired suggests. “What else do we have besides the Game of Life?”

“We could play some dominoes.” Kihyun shrugs. “I’m pretty sure we might have battleship too if I look hard enough.” He adds.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how Hoseok is still on the floor, quietly turning the Playstation off.

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” The ravenette bides in.

 _“Again?”_ Kihyun says with a groan. “We’ve done that every day almost.”

“Well, do _you_ have a better idea?” Hyunwoo bites, and the younger’s breath catches as he meets the older’s somewhat heated gaze.

“Hyung-” He starts, but Hoseok cuts him off.

“Listen, let’s just do our own things.” He says, standing and waving his hands. “I feel like lying down for a bit. You guys can do something else.” The blond finishes before walking off, the tension left by him uneasy in the air.

“I’ll…” Hyungwon motions to the older, their bedroom, and then shares apologetic gazes with the both of them as he leaves to accompany his boyfriend.

Kihyun sighs and lets his head hang. The black haired male walks off, leaving him alone.

 

*****

 

“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks quietly as he closes the door behind himself. There’s no answer. “Hoseok-”

“Did Kihyun really have to say that?!” The blond whisper-yells, motioning angrily. “Did he really have to remind me?”

Hyungwon stares, arms crossed. “He doesn’t know.”

“Well he _should_ know!”

The brown haired male scoffs. “That’s not fair.”

“You know what isn’t fair? That he gets to be all lovey dovey bringing Hyunwoo here to his perfect family and I-”

“Now, you better stop that!” Hyungwon yells. Hoseok looks at him with wide eyes. It’s rare for the younger to act up. “You can’t say that when you know, when you’re the one who watched as he had to live three years of his life with his parents trying to deny it.”

“I didn’t…”

“I know.”

Hoseok sighs and sits on the bed with his face in his hands.

“Baby, I know it’s hard on you and that what Kihyun said triggered you, but you know very well it’s not his fault.” Whispers the brown haired male into his hair, after he sits on the bed by his side and wraps his arms around him. “You have to tell him.”

“I know.” Hoseok says quietly, eyes wet. “I will. I just… I didn’t want to steal his thunder.”

Hyungwon snorts. “I think you already did that in the first few minutes he entered the house and you broke the news you’re gay now.”

The blond male chuckles. “Maybe you’re right.” He wipes his eyes.

They sit in silence. Hoseok hugs the taller back and breathes in his scent as he calms himself down, and Hyungwon kisses his hair and rubs his back as he holds him.

“I love you.” Whispers the older.

A chuckle, then Hyungwon slips his hand under his shirt and runs his fingers over his back, making him shiver. “I love you too, my big baby.”

“Do you think Kihyun is mad at me?” He whispers.

The brown haired male shakes his head. “He might be concerned, but… I guess he has some more important matters at hand right now.”

“You mean with Hyunwoo?” Hoseok pulls back and looks him in the eyes.

The taller nods. “Yeah. You noticed they’re a little off too, didn’t you?”

It’s the blond’s time to nod. “I hope they’ll be okay.” Hoseok mutters.

“Yeah me too.”

 

***** 

 

“Hyung.” The younger calls as he follows Hyunwoo into their bedroom. “Hyung!”

“What is it?” The older answers without turning to look at him.

“What’s up with you?” He asks.

The ravenette shrugs. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says, fussing around and starting to make the bed, back still to the younger.

“You’re acting weird.” Kihyun elaborates, trying to move around Hyunwoo to look at him but not being able to. The taller seems to be dodging him, almost.

“I’m not acting weird, I’m just-”

“Would you please look at me?!” Kihyun goes off, exasperated.

Hyunwoo turns to look at him as he gets surprised by the outburst. He’s got wide eyes and an almost impressed expression. Kihyun ruffs.

“What is it?” The older asks, finally. He drops the pillows he had in hand and turns fully towards the brunette.

“Why are you acting so weird? Is it something I’ve done? Have I- have I done something wrong?” He asks, voice starting to grow weaker as the sentences fall through. “Is it… Because of yesterday?”

“No.” Hyunwoo answers it fast enough for the younger to feel a bit of relief overtake him. “Look, I’m fine. I’m just tired and all. You know, the party, the games, we went to bed late and all. I’m fine.” He smiles, tight lipped and strained, but Kihyun can tell he’s doing his best even though he wishes he didn’t. “I guess I’m just homesick.” He shrugs. “Now let me make this bed.” He mumbles and turns around to proceed to make the bed.

All Kihyun can think of is _‘Bullshit.’_ , but he doesn’t say anything. In fact, he leaves the room, and walks towards the kitchen almost zombie-like, lost in thought and moving on autopilot to take a glass and fill it with water.

He downs the glass of water and puts it in the sink, wiping his lips with the back of his hand in thought, wondering what could have possibly gone wrong between them. What he might have done to push Hyunwoo away. Maybe it’s something he does during sex that makes people not want him anymore? Maybe it’s the kink? Maybe taking charge is what turned the older off? He sighs. It probably was the whole “pussy” thing. He should have kept quiet about it. And calling him Big Boy? Why did he think that would be funny?

His line of thought is interrupted by the sound of a groan of pain he recognizes as Hyunwoo, and moves quickly to find the source of the noise.

“Hyung?” He calls. “Are you okay?” Kihyun questions as he enters the room and sees the older rubbing his head.

“Hey. I’m fine. I just hit my head again and it’s still sore.” He explains, pained expression in his face.

The brunette moves closer, arms reaching for the older. Hyunwoo lets him, too concentrated in the pain to move away or even think of how he’s feeling towards Kihyun.

“You’re so clumsy.” The younger whispers. “I’ll get you some ice for that. Sit down on the bed.” He tells him.

The older tries fighting back by saying he’s fine, but the shorter is having none of it.

Hyunwoo sits down with his back to the wall, feeling like a child, and feeling guilty, almost. Then he remembers Kihyun kissing Joshua, followed by how the younger held him tight against his own nude body the night before, and the headache seems to get worse.

“Here.” Kihyun walks back into the room with an ice pack. He sits next to the older, turned to him and carefully placing the cold surface on the bruised area, pulling back slightly when he winces. He holds it there, brushing away a few stray strands of hair that fall on his eyes. “Thanks.”

Kihyun shakes his head. “It’s fine.” He says. He doesn’t smile, but looks him in the eyes. Hyunwoo knows he didn’t believe him before, but doesn’t know what else to tell him. He wants Kihyun to be happy, after all, and if Joshua’s the best choice for him then he’s willing to give up what he’s discovered in himself for it.

If he needs to push Kihyun away first, then be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 Remember to leave a comment and kudos if you liked it, they make me very happy and motivated c:
> 
> PSA! If you love showki as much as I do and you're not reading [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715228) yet, then I don't know why y'all are taking so long to do that. It's too good to be slept on, go give it a read <3 (it has a trailer! in case that might encourage you to read it c: [here it is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-BWRKVLKOI))
> 
> Here are my [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) <3 Don't be afraid to send me something, I don't bite


	10. Stuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... does Kihyun fight for Hyunwoo or does he settle on Joshua?  
> Place your bets <3  
> 2 chapters left  
> (This chapter starts where the last one left off, or like a few minutes later)  
> And as usual I didn't proofread ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> 11.7k words long c:

 

 

 

 

 

> I completely fell for you  
>  I can’t help but to get greedy  
>  The more I look at you, the greedier I get  
>  I’m curious about everything about you

 

The muted sound of someone stepping on snow. It’s a soft sound, almost the perfect midpoint between a  _crunch_ and a  _thump._ It doesn’t echo, and no one’s there to hear, but the noise is still there. It still exists.

_If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?_

The air he exhales comes out in hot puffs and dissipates in the air, the white fog disappearing before his eyes in a mere second. His lips feel cold and more on the numb side. He wonders what it must feel like to kiss like this, when he can’t feel his lips properly. The idea of going inside to pull Hyunwoo by the hand and drag him outside comes, and it goes just as quickly, before he can properly picture the scene.

He can’t do that. He has to remember that’s why he’s outside. Because Hyunwoo doesn’t want to see him, Hoseok seems to be upset over something, and Hyungwon has to watch over him. And, well, Kihyun… Kihyun doesn’t know what they’re all hiding. He wonders if this is karma, or maybe a prank. He hides a secret from his family and best friends, and then suddenly everyone else hides secrets from him.

Then there’s Joshua, who went completely raw on his feelings and left Kihyun feeling like… He doesn’t even know what he’s feeling.

The man walks up to a bench. It’s probably freezing cold, even if he brushes off the snow. He can feel the coldness of it even through the thick fabric of his mittens, so he decides maybe sitting down isn’t the best choice at the moment. Kihyun’s stuck in a crossroad. He doesn’t want to face the men inside the cottage, but he’s freezing out here in the cold.

So he decides upon walking up to his parents’ house.

He hasn’t walked up there by himself once since the last time he came to Gwangju, but doing it right now makes him realize how lonely it is. It’s slippery and no one’s there to hold him in case he slips and falls, no one there to hold his cold hands in theirs or put their arm around him and smile at him like he’s their whole sun. He doesn’t know when Hyunwoo became all that to him, or when he realized they had indeed done all that, but now that he’s stated all of it in his mind, the idea that the older is distanciating himself makes his stomach drop even more.

He wishes he had Minhyuk here. But he knows he can’t keep hanging onto him when things get hard.

If he could at least tell Hoseok… But how would the older male feel? Maybe betrayed by how Kihyun hid it from him even after he opened his heart to the younger. Maybe he’ll understand and say it’s okay. Or maybe neither, since Hoseok seems to be dealing with his own problem right now, and Kihyun wouldn’t dare gifting him with more stuff to stress over.

He doesn’t realize he’s arrived at the house until he walks up the steps to the front door. With a heavy sigh, teeth chattering as he gets colder by the second, he rings the doorbell. He has a beanie on, but his ears are still numb from the cold.

“Kihyun?” Asks his mother as she opens the door.

“Hey eomma.” He walks in and hugs her briefly, almost crying at how warm it is inside.

“God! You’re freezing, boy! Go sit down on the couch, I’ll make you some tea.” She shoos him away after pulling his coat off, hanging it and walking to the kitchen.

The brunette walks up to the couch and hugs a throw pillow against his chest as he looks around and notices how quiet the place is.

“Where is everyone?” He calls out.

“Your brother and Soona went to the city with Dohyun so they could show him around before they go back to Japan, and your father has gone out to run some errands as well as dealing with some stuff from work.” She tells him. The boy nods to himself. If he’s being honest, it’s a good thing everyone left. He’s not really in the mood to socialize. “What about you?” His mother then asks.

“What about me?” He questions, not quite understanding.

His mother finally walks out of the kitchen, a tray in her hands. “Why did you come by yourself? I haven’t seen you alone since you arrived.” She elaborates, sitting next to him. Kihyun moves quicker and pours her the tea before he does so to himself. She smiles and shakes her head. “Thank you.”

He nods and blows at the hot tea before taking a sip. “I wanted to come alone.” He says. “It’s not going so well at the cottage. There’s like, this tension in the air, and I wasn’t feeling very well in there.”

Mrs. Park squints curiously, then puts down her cup and puts her hands on her knees. “Did you and Hyunwoo fight?” She asks.

“No.” He shakes his head, then sighs. “I don’t know?” He confesses. “I’m not sure what happened, if I’m being honest.” He chuckles dryly. “He seems to be mad at me or something? But I don’t know what’s up.”

“He’s mad at you?” Asks the woman with a frown.

“Well, no. He’s not mad. He just seems a bit… Uncomfortable around me.” Kihyun clarifies. “It’s almost like-” He cuts himself off with a deep inhale. “It’s almost like he doesn’t like me anymore?” His voice wavers by the end of it, and he looks to the other side, not allowing himself to cry nor let his mother see if he does.

“So you don’t recall anything happening, but Hyunwoo’s been acting off? Since when?”

“This morning. He was perfectly fine yesterday.” Kihyun shrugs.

“Doesn’t Hyungwon or Hoseok have any idea what happened?” She asks then, rubbing his arm, sensing her son needs some comfort right now.

Kihyun shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Something’s also happened to Hoseok, but he and Hyungwon locked themselves in their room and I don’t know.” He says. “I don’t know what’s happening.” He whispers, his voice desperate, in need of answers. “Just this morning when I woke up everything was okay, and…” He trails off, shaking his head.

Mrs. Park watches him with a sad look, but also an understanding one. “Oh my dear, are you crying?” She asks, moving and trying to see his face, but Kihyun doesn’t let her, turning to the other side.

“I’m sorry, eomma.” He says, painly. “I’m so sorry.”

“For crying?” She chuckles, rubbing his back.

“For being like this!” He cries. “For being gay, and stupid.”

The smile falls from his mother’s face, and she straightens up, frowning. “Why are you saying that?”

“Because I know you’d rather I wasn’t. And honestly? Me too. I wish I wasn’t gay either. And maybe if I was a real man I wouldn’t have had to bring Hyunwoo home and…” He stops himself when he realizes what he’s about to say.

“Kihyun.” Mrs. Park calls, pulling the man to her. “Son, that’s not it.” She says.

The brunette gives in, and lets her hold him.

“I love you. I love who you are.” She whispers. “You’re my son. I might have said stupid things before when you told me you liked men, but I don’t care anymore.” The woman sighs, also feeling tears in her eyes. “I think it was mostly because I was scared.” She says.

Kihyun pulls back, giving her a puzzled look, cheeks stained with tears. “What? Scared? Scared of what?”

She shakes her head. “Life is so hard when you’re different.” She says. “People are not able to deal with differences. You and your brother are two of the people I love the most in this world, and I’d never wish to see you suffering. I guess accepting that you’re gay would be like accepting life would be hard on you and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.” She tells him.

The man widens his eyes. It’s the first time he’s ever heard his mother say the word ‘gay’ in his life. “Eomma…”

“I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like who you are is wrong.” She tells him, cupping his jaw with a hand, giving him a sad smile. “I don’t care who you love, as long as you’re happy.”

Kihyun feels a heavy weight leave his chest, and nods at her.

“Now. Why do you think bringing Hyunwoo home doesn’t make you a real man?” She asks. “You love each other, and you brought him across the country to meet us. Your brother took a lot longer than that to introduce us to Soona.” She comments, raising her eyebrows and rolling her eyes. Kihyun giggles.

“I-” He starts, frowning at himself. “I lied.” He tells her. “I was mistaken about Hyunwoo, I think. I don’t think he actually likes me.” He elaborates, rubbing his nape.

“What are you talking about? You’re saying that just because he’s been a little off today? He loves you, son. He spent eight hours in a train to spend christmas with complete strangers just because of you.” She says, scoffing like Kihyun’s being completely ridiculous.

“Hyunwoo and I aren’t dating.” He says, and looks into her eyes, dead serious, so she’ll know he’s not lying. “I asked him to pretend he’s my boyfriend. We’re just roommates.” He says. “And he’s straight.”

Mrs. Park lets out a loud short laugh. “That boy is  _not_ straight. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” She says. “Why did you lie, though? Why did you tell us he was your boyfriend, Kihyun?”

“Eomma… Please understand that I love and appreciate you very much, but-” Kihyun coughs. “I’ve already got a horrible love life, and your attempts at finding me someone were always terrible.” He adds.

His mother is speechless for a few seconds. “Well then, I think I have a confession to make as well.” She grimaces.

Kihyun’s eyes widen. “Oh no. What did you do?”

She laughs awkwardly. “I was gonna set you up with Jisoo before you called to tell us you were bringing Hyunwoo along with you.” She says.

Kihyun sputters. “You  _what?!”_ He asks, drawing away from her with a frown. “With Joshua? What? How?”

“I was hoping something would happen between the two of you. That’s why I let him know you were coming. Unfortunately I did it before I knew about Hyunwoo.”

 _Well, that part you got right. Something definitely happened._ Kihyun thinks to himself.

“God. Why is today being such a difficult day?” He groans, falling back onto the couch.

“You should go talk to Hyunwoo, son.” She tells him. “You might have started all this because of a favor, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening anymore.”

Kihyun nods.

“It’s very easy to fall in love.” His mother adds.

“The tea is cold.” He points out, staring at the abandoned cup on the coffee table.

“Forget that.” She waves. “Go home, talk to Hyunwoo.” She says. “Don’t let that one go. I like that boy, he’s good for you.”

The brunette smiles. “He is, isn’t he?” He bites his lip in thought. “I’ll go talk to him.” He announces, standing up. “I have to get some things done first, though.” Kihyun adds.

“Off you go, then.” Mrs. Park says, kissing his cheek then walking him to the door, watching as he puts on his coat, mittens, shoes and beanie.

“Thank you.” He says to her as he opens the door, a grateful smile on his lips.

She shakes her head, in a silent indication that it’s okay. So Kihyun waves, and walks off into the cold.

This walk is not as lonely as before. He needs to find Hyunwoo, and he needs to tell him the truth, then make sure Hoseok is okay. But first, he needs to call Joshua.

He gets home shivering, thanking god the sun is still up and it’s not cold enough he turned into a popsicle. As he opens the door to the cottage, he finds a rather unusual scene.

Hyungwon sitting on the couch with Joshua next to him.

“Oh.” Kihyun mutters, standing by the doorframe. “Hello.”

Joshua’s looking at him in a very  _intense_ way, to say the least. Kihyun blushes at the heat of his gaze on him, like the younger wants to kiss him over and over again.

“Welcome back.” Hyungwon waves emotionlessly. “You didn’t tell us you were leaving.”

“I went to see my mom.” Kihyun clarifies, taking off his shoes after he hangs up his coat, beanie and his mittens. “You were all busy, so I didn’t think you’d mind.” He adds rather bitterly.

“Well.” Hyungwon starts. “Joshua’s here to see you.” He says, motioning to the man next to him, who waves.

“Yes, I can see that.” He rolls his eyes. “Hey, Shua, I was actually about to call you. It’s a good thing you came.” He smiles.

“Then… Have you thought about it?” He asks with a hopeful expression.

Hyungwon quirks an eyebrow.

“Perhaps we should talk in private.” Kihyun tells him. “Hyungwon-ah, where’s hyung?” He asks the taller, who’s now standing up.

“Hoseok’s in the bedroom. He was in bed when I left, might be watching something in his phone, if he didn’t fall asleep yet.” He chuckles, fond smile on his face.

Kihyun smiles to himself. He’s really is grateful that the two of them found each other. The way Hyungwon talks about his hyung is the only way he’d ever want anyone talking about someone else he loves.

“And Hyunwoo?” He hesitates before asking.

“Haven’t seen him yet. I think he was in the shower just now.” The brown haired man says, tilting his head. “I’ll go see how Hoseok is doing, and give you guys some privacy.” He points to the bedroom door with a thumb.

Kihyun nods, sighing.

Both he and Joshua watch as the taller walks into the bedroom and closes the door.

“You’re unusually quiet.” Kihyun comments.

The younger laughs. “I guess I’m just nervous.” He shrugs.

“Let’s sit.” The shorter smiles, sitting on the couch where Hyungwon previously was, and motioning for the other brunette to do the same.

Joshua sits next to him, and watches intently everything the older does. He’s got that soft smile that always seems to be on his lips, and he’s just as beautiful as Kihyun recalls him being, if not more. He can barely believe that this man right in front of him wants him, is interested in him, just like he’s always wanted someone to be. Joshua, who treats him nicely and has soft lips and warm smiles, who would never do anything to hurt him.

All of that just makes it harder for Kihyun to do what he’s about to do.

“Shua.” He starts, looking into the younger’s brown eyes, chest fluttering at his intense gaze. “I really like you. And I’m so,  _so_ flattered that you feel so strongly about me and wants to be with me, but…” He breaks the gaze, not being able to watch as he says the next words. “I don’t feel the same way about you.” He confesses.

There’s a silence, and then Joshua speaks up. “That’s okay.” He says.

Kihyun’s head perks up, and he watches the other curiously.

“I’m glad that you’re being honest.” He shrugs, a sad smile on his lips.

“The thing is, Shua-” He stops, not sure if he should continue, but he does. “I like Hyunwoo.” He finishes with a sheepish smile and a shrug, shaking his head. He then proceeds to say something he’s been scared to admit to himself. “I’m in love with him, in fact. We’re dating.”

“...Oh!” The younger’s big eyes widen.  _“That’s_ why he looks at you like that!” He looks around, shocked, then the realization downs on him. “Oh my god, hyung! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have- I can’t believe I kissed you like that. You should have punched me or something!”

“No!” Kihyun interrupts with a chuckle. “No, that’s okay. I was caught up in my own feelings, I didn’t understand what was happening until it was too late.”

“I should have asked if it was okay to kiss you.” Joshua curls his lips, disappointed at himself. “That was a dick move.”

“You  _should_ have asked. But don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t know. I should have told you he was more than just my roommate.” Kihyun rubs the younger’s arm.

“And why didn’t you?” Joshua questions, turning back to the other.

“I don’t know.” He confesses. “I guess I was scared?” He frowns. “Maybe?”

“Scared of what?”

“Of your reaction.” He explains. “I didn’t know you liked guys too, and I knew you from church, so I…”

“Yeah, well.” The younger nods. “I understand, that’s okay.” He smiles. “So is everything okay? Can we still be friends?”

“Of course!” Kihyun smiles wide. “Yes, of course. I’ll love to hang out when you’re in Seoul. You can come over and we can play video game and karaoke and you can meet my friends.”

The younger nods, blushing lightly. “That sounds nice.” He chuckles. Then he stands, and Kihyun does so too. They both walk up quietly to the door.

“Are you walking home?” Kihyun asks.

The younger nods. “Need some time to think.” He explains.

“I know that feeling.”

The younger smiles at him.

When Joshua’s all dressed up to go, he turns to the shorter and says “I’m sorry once again for everything.” He whispers.

Kihyun shakes his head. “Really, it’s okay.” He says.

And they hug. Kihyun holds him tight, having missed the feeling of being held by a friend, and knowing Joshua might need this, since Kihyun, too, understands what having a broken heart feels like.

“Call me. We’ll meet up.” The older tells him when they pull away.

“I will.” Smiles the brunette. He leans in and kisses Kihyun’s forehead before opening the door and walking out, exchanging a wave.

“Bye, Shua! Be safe!”

“Bye hyung!”

Kihyun sighs. Another weight has left his chest. He closes the door and walks in, but stop in his tracks when he meets Hyunwoo’s eyes.

The older’s standing by the kitchen counter, arms crossed and unreadable expression.

“Hey, hyung.” Kihyun says quietly. “How’s your head?”

Hyunwoo moves his hand up to touch his forehead. “It’s fine.” He shrugs.

“Since, since when have you been standing there?” Questions the younger, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

“Just got here.” The ravenette shifts. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, don’t worry.” He says.

“No, I didn’t mean-”

“Kihyun?” Hyungwon chooses that moment to open the bedroom door, calling for the brunette. “Oh, there you are, hyung. What’s up?” He nods to the older.

“Same thing.” Hyunwoo shrugs.

“What is it?” Kihyun asks Hyungwon.

“Hoseok needs to talk to you.” The taller says.

The shorter shighs. Looks like he’ll be doing a lot of talking today.

Kihyun glances at Hyunwoo one last time, and catches the older checking him out.

_Hm._

Seems like even if he doesn’t wanna do the whole arrangement anymore, maybe Hyunwoo does still want to fuck him.

Kihyun doesn’t know how he should feel about it, but he doesn’t feel good. He doesn’t need yet someone else wanting him for his body and sex. Though he won’t dare to think that of Hyunwoo. He hopes he’s right about giving him a chance to prove himself.

He walks up to the other bedroom.

 

*****

 

Hyunwoo watches as Kihyun leaves. It’s been hard to stop recalling the night before. He keeps thinking of the younger in that way, keeps remembering how good he felt against and around him, how his lips tasted when he was saying all the dirty things that came up in his mind.

What makes everything harder is, of course, the thought that Kihyun might not want him anymore. He now has the option to be with Joshua, and by what Hyunwoo has just witnessed, he’s taken that chance. He longs for someone who doesn’t need him anymore, and Hyunwoo knows how stupid he is for feeling like that, but he can’t help it. He can’t help his feelings.

“You okay?” Hyungwon asks, breaking the older out of his daze.

Hyunwoo frowns, not looking at the other, but rather the bedroom door Kihyun just walked through. “I don’t know.” He says. “Is Hoseok okay?”

“He will be.” Hyungwon says mutely. “That I know.”

The older finally looks at him. “That’s good.” He nods, walking past the brown haired male and into his bedroom.

He has to remind himself why he agreed to all of this. He was supposed to help Kihyun get his mother off his back. That was it. When did everything get more complicated? When did it all go from acting into real feelings? Real needs?

It’s selfish of him to want the younger to choose his confused mind over Joshua, who seems to know very well what he wants. He came over, told Kihyun what his feelings were, kissed him. He was sweet, caring, didn’t make him cry once. He’s borderline perfect, while Hyunwoo himself is not. And he knows Kihyun deserves nothing short of perfect.

But he can’t seem to let himself accept that. Because, in the end, he’s in love with him.

 

*****

 

He walks up to the other bedroom. Hoseok is there, in bed scrolling through his phone. He locks the screen and sits up when he notices Kihyun there.

“Hey.” The younger says, crawling into bed next to him. “Hyungwon said you wanted to talk to me.” He adds.

“I do.” Hoseok answers. “I need to tell you something.”

Kihyun nods. “Go on then.”

“Promise you won’t be mad?”

“I won’t.” The younger smiles. “I promise. I don’t think I have the right to be anymore.”

Hoseok doesn’t know why, but he might be about to find out.

“Have you ever wondered why I came to spend christmas with you?” Asks the blond.

Kihyun frowns. “No? You do that sometimes.”

“Yeah, but I have a new boyfriend. I could have wanted him to meet my family like you did.” The older says.

“But you didn’t want to?” The younger is lost.

“I did, actually.” Hoseok confesses. “But they didn’t.”

A second for Kihyun to process it.

“They… they didn’t?” Kihyun whispers. “They told you they didn’t wanna meet Hyungwon?”

Hoseok breathes out shakily. “They told me-” He stops, swallowing. “They told me not to come home.”

It’s like a slap to Kihyun’s face. How has he not noticed? How could he have overlooked the fact Hoseok wasn’t spending the holidays with his family and new significant other? Was he really so far up his own ass he failed to realize it?

The need to comfort his hyung is overwhelming, so he hugs Hoseok, lets him wrap his arms around his waist and hide his face on the crook of the younger’s neck.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.” He whispers.

“My mother said they’re not ready to see me.” He confesses, sounding like he wants to cry, but like he’s done that too much already and is tired of it. “She basically said not to come until I was over this phase or whatever.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re twenty-seven years old. You know what you want.” Kihyun says, indignant.

“It’s what I told her, but she doesn’t want to know.” He laughs bitterly.

“You should’ve told me.” The younger whispers.

“I was okay. Hyungwon was with me. He was my support.”

Kihyun smiles. “Thank god you’ve found Hyungwon.” He says.

The older smiles. “I thank the heavens everyday.” He whispers. “Every day.”

“You’re not religious.” Kihyun chuckles.

“Well, yeah, but Hyungwon is the exception to every rule.” He shrugs.

“Even the best friend one?” The younger pouts.

The blond rolls his eyes. “Maybe not  _every_ rule.” He says. “You and Minhyuk are far too annoying.”

“Are you perhaps insinuating Hyungwon isn’t annoying?” Backs off the other, arching both eyebrows with a smirk.

“He is, but not as much as you both little shits.”

Kihyun clicks his tongue. “Unbelievable.”

Hoseok chuckles, a fond look in his eyes, and they settle in silence for a few moments.

“I don’t understand.” Kihyun says so quietly the other almost doesn’t catch it.

“What don’t you understand, Kihyun?”

The brunette shuffles and sighs. “Your parents were so accepting and nice when  _I_ came out. Why did they act like that to you?” He says, a disappointed and somewhat sad look in his eyes.

“I guess things are easier to deal with when they don’t happen in your family.” The older mumbles.

“Please don’t keep things from us.” The younger begs. “I know you said you didn’t want to burden us, but hyung, we’re your best friends. That’s what we’re there for. To help.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Yeah, I know. I guess I wasn’t ready. Having to say everything out loud just makes it all more real.”

Kihyun feels that hit a little close to home. “Well.” He starts. “I have something to tell you too.”

“Wait, deja vu.” Hoseok grimaces at an imaginary headache, and Kihyun hits his arm playfully.

“Idiot.” He scolds. “Listen to me. It’s about Hyunwoo.”

“You’re not gonna tell me you top, right?” The blond asks.

“Okay, one, that’s none of your business, but since you asked, two, yes I do top. I just haven’t with him yet.”

“Welp, none of my business indeed, I didn’t wanna know that.” The older says, making a face.

“Entirely your fault.” The younger laughs, pushing Hoseok’s shoulder. “Anyways, what I gotta tell you is… It’s about Hyunwoo, yeah. Listen, this might make you feel betrayed, and sad, even angry, but please promise you’ll try to understand me, just like I tried to understand you.”

Hoseok frowns and sits up, concerned. “Okay, sure. What’s up? Did he do something? Are you okay?”

“You know how I ‘hid’ our relationship from you, just like you hid your with Hyungwon?” He asks, air-quoting at the  _hid._ The blond male nods anyways. “Well… That’s because there never was a relationship.” He bites his lip. “Me and Hyunwoo are nothing but roommates who have been pretending to be together all this time.” He confesses, finally.

“So… So you’ve never actually been together?” He asks. Even after- You guys had sex last night, didn’t you?”

“I- Yeah? How do you know?”

Hoseok smiles. “You’re transparent when it comes to feelings.” He says. “It’s written all over your face, your body language says it all.” He motions towards the younger. “That’s not important, though. You guys aren’t together, but you had sex with him.” He states.

“There’s something else.” The brunette closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. “He’s straight.”

 _“What?!”_ Hoseok yells out. “No fucking way.” He shakes his head.

“He is!”

“Not possible. He’s a pseudo hetero at  _most._ He fucked you, goddamnit. He’s been kissing you and holding you and looking at you like you’re his entire world, even when he thought no one was looking. I don’t know him, but I don’t take Hyunwoo for such a good actor. And I’m dating an actor.”

“Doesn’t matter, hyung.” Kihyun covers his face with his hands.

“So why did you lie to everyone about having a boyfriend, though? Does Minhyuk know? Who else knows?” The older asks, pulling at Kihyun’s arms gently so he’ll be able to see his face. “Why are you hiding?”

“Minhyukie knows. Changkyun and Jooheon know too.” Kihyun sits up as well, turning towards the older, legs criss-crossed. “Hyungwon also knows. He found out in the first day. And I just told my mom.”

“Let me guess, you lied because of her, right?” The blond male crosses his arms.

Kihyun nods.

“Yep.” He chuckles. “I think she got the picture now.” He shrugs. “Anyways, now I gotta deal with all of this.”

“I wanna know, what was Minhyuk’s reaction when you told him about this?”

“He despised the whole thing.” Kihyun chuckles. “He said it was stupid, and that I should just tell the truth and that I might end up getting hurt, or Hyunwoo might end up getting hurt. Or the both of us.”

“And did you?” Hoseok asks carefully.

Kihyun tugs at his earring. “I guess… A little. Stuff happened.”

“What stuff?”

“I can’t tell you.”

The older groans. “Come on, Kihyun. I thought we were gonna be done with secrets.” The older insists.

“We are! It’s just… This is something I gotta tell Hyunwoo first. It’s not fair to let him be the last to know.” Kihyun explains. “I’ll tell you after I talk things out with him.”

“Is that why you’ve been acting weird today?”

“I don’t think so. He doesn’t know about the thing.” The younger pouts. “I’m glad you also noticed he’s been off, though. Good to know I’m not paranoid.”

“But do you like him?” Hoseok asks the one million dollars question.

“I… I love him, I think.” Kihyun whispers.

“Since when?”

“I don’t know when it happened, but it was during the trip.” He says. “Am I crazy? Is that too little time to fall for someone?”

The other male chuckles. “I fell for Hyungwon the moment I saw him.” He rolls his eyes with a smile. “Fell even harder when I saw him as Hyungwon and not Dodo. Maybe that’s why I got so thrown off.” He scratches his neck in thought.

“Good to know Hyungwon literally turned you gay.” Kihyun laughs.

“Well.” Hoseok smiles sheepishly. “You turned Hyunwoo gay too.” He snickers.

Kihyun’s eyes widen. “Jesus.” He whispers.

Hoseok laughs so hard his eyes fill with tears. “God, I love it when you make that stupid dumbfounded face.”

“Shut up!” Kihyun laughs, hitting Hoseok with a pillow from the bed. “I hate your guts.”

“Whatever.” Hoseok wrestles the pillow out of his hands. “Go talk to Hyunwoo before I kick you out of the room by force.”

Kihyun chuckles, crawling out of the bed. “Fine.” He says.

He starts leaving, but then turns around last minute, already next to the door, to ask Hoseok something.

“You’re not angry I didn’t tell you?” He asks.

“Nah. I really am shit at keeping secrets. I could barely do it when I was literal cities away from you.” He shrugs, looking unbothered.

Kihyun smiles. His hyung really is something else.

He walks out, passing by Hyungwon who’s lying on the couch, watching what seems to be a music video on his phone. He hits him on the back of the head as he passes by, running to the bedroom as he does, since Hyungwon seems to be invested enough in his bewilderness to stand up and race after him.

Kihyun’s recent found good mood is cut short when he walks into the room to find Hyunwoo packing.

“What are you doing?” He asks, staring at the open suitcase on the floor.

“I’m packing.” Hyunwoo says simply.

“W-Why?” The younger walks up to him, the other walking around as he takes his scattered things and put them in his suitcase.

“Because we’re leaving tomorrow?” The older says it like it’s obvious. And that’s because it  _is_ obvious. Kihyun nods when he realizes it.

“You seem eager to leave.” The younger laughs dryly. “Packing so early. You usually do things last minute.” He says quietly.

Hyunwoo turns to him with a frown, sensing the younger’s uneasiness. He walks up to him, a shirt he was about to put in the suitcase still in hands. He throws it over his shoulder and stops in front of Kihyun, cupping his face with both hands, feeling his heart jump in his chest when the shorter male closes his eyes with a soft sigh, and his smaller hands come up to hold his wrists.

He opens his mouth to say something, but Kihyun beats him to it. “That’s mine.” He says quietly.

The older frowns. The brunette opens his eyes and giggles at his reaction. “That shirt, hyung. It’s mine, not yours. I wouldn’t fit you even if you really wanted it to.” He finishes with a chuckle.

“Oh.” Hyunwoo says, hands dropping from the other’s face to grab the shirt he had thrown over his shoulder, handing it to Kihyun. “Sorry.”

The younger takes it. “It’s fine.” He says.

The ravenette takes a step back, intending to go back to packing, but Kihyun holds his forearm, regaining his attention. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you.” He says.

 _Maybe this is when he tells me he’s chosen someone else already._ The older thinks, but nods.

They sit on the bed, turned to each other. Kihyun plays with the ridges of the covers as he wonders how he should start this conversation, but Hyunwoo makes everything easier for him.

“Hyunwoo. This morning while you were sleeping-”

“I know about Joshua.” He says.

Kihyun looks at him with wide eyes.

“You- what?”

“I saw you two.” He says.

The brunette stares at him for what feels like the longest time, unable to organize his thoughts.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks.

“What did you want me to say?” Hyunwoo asks, laughing bitterly. “That I saw you kissing someone else and that I didn’t get affected by it at all? Or that it’s okay if you wanna be with him but-”

 _“Be with him?_ I don’t wanna be with him.” The younger says.

Hyunwoo is completely and utterly confused. “Then… then why did you kiss him back?” He asks.

Kihyun scoffs, incredulous. “First off, I was gonna tell you about it all, but you seemed to be avoiding me so I got scared of what your reaction might be. I thought I might upset you even more. Is that why you were acting like that?” He looks into the older’s eyes as he asks that.

The ravenette sighs. “I thought it would make things easier if I pushed you away so you could be with him.” He confesses.

The younger runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, let’s talk about this.” He says. “About Joshua.” He starts cautiously. “This morning, he came in to wish us a merry christmas, and he also told me he has feelings for me. He sat there and told me he’s liked me for a long time, and then he kissed me and I kissed him back.” He admits, shaking his head and bringing in his shoulders.

“The reason I think I did that is… I don’t want you to think this is my way of saying ‘please pity me and forgive me’, I’m just being honest to why I did it. I think the only explanation I have is that it felt good.” Hyunwoo scoffs, and Kihyun is quick to add. “Not the kiss. I mean, the kiss was okay, it was a kiss and kisses are nice in general, but what felt good was… being wanted. Do you know how many people before kissed me without the intention of taking me to bed? Three. One of them is you, and the other was a girl. It felt good to know he wanted me for who I am, that he wanted to be with me because he likes me and not because he wanted to get laid.” He shrugs. “I kissed back because my brain was telling me that it felt nice. It was like it was telling me ‘you’re wanted, enjoy it while you can!’ and I guess I was so overwhelmed with everything that I was feeling that I just… did.” He finishes quietly. “Or maybe I chose that option consciously anyways.”

Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything.

“Then, just after it was over… I realized that was goddamn ridiculous. And I know how cliche that sounds, to regret something right after you’ve done it. But when it was over I realized that was nothing compared to how I feel when I kiss  _you._ And when Joshua told me to think about it, I already had my answer right there. I never considered him. Because kissing him felt nice, but kissing you makes me feel like I’m gonna burst. In the best way possible.” He sighs, staring at the older, expectant for a reaction. “But all of that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I cheated on you.” He frowns to himself.

“I don’t really- I don’t know if it can be considered cheating.” The older mutters. “We’re not together.”

“But  _officially_ we’re dating.” The younger points out.

“Well yeah, but what does it matter if there’s no emotional attachment?”

“Half the couples in Korea would disagree with that statement.” Mumbles the younger. Hyunwoo is unable to disagree. “What you’re saying is that there’s nothing between us, then? Even after…”

“What I’m saying is that we’re not  _together_ together. So technically, you didn’t cheat on me.”

“Who the fuck cares about technicality, Son Hyunwoo? What matters is if you were hurt by it or not, because if you were, I’m sorry, and I’ll accept whatever judgement you give me. If you weren’t, then I’m still sorry, but I’m also ending things here.” He states, firmly, slightly annoyed at how emotionless the older is being about the whole thing.

“I was hurt, okay? Is that what you want me to say?” He bites. “I saw you kissing the guy, when just the night before you were all ‘I’m all yours’, of course I was goddamn hurt! I felt betrayed, but I also felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything. You find someone who wants you, and I’m gonna be the asshole to tell you you can’t be with them just because I’m emotionally constipated? Of course not.” He says, his expression now the complete opposite of what it was before. Full of every emotion he’s been keeping to himself.

“...So you’re saying you don’t want me?” Asks the younger quietly.

“No!” The ravenette says, frustrated. He takes Kihyun’s hands in his and puts them on his chest. “I want you. You have no idea how much. It’s the fact that you had a better option. Joshua is amazing. Who am I to say he’s not the best choice for you? He’s nice, and kind, and your family loves him, and you’ve known him for so long, and he knows your friends and gets along with them.”

“You also do all of those things.” The younger points out.

Hyunwoo doesn’t have a comeback to that. “It’s not the same.”

“And why not?” The brunette asks with a laugh. “Why isn’t it? Are you scared? Is that why you don’t want to see yourself as enough?” He pulls his hands out of the taller’s grip, and puts them on his lap. “Say what’s on your mind.”

“You deserve the absolute perfect. That’s him, not me.” The older states, simply.

Kihyun laughs, wide, dimpled and bright, and Hyunwoo stares in confusion. The younger is still laughing softly when he crawls onto the older’s lap, straddling him. The ravenette doesn’t question the action, not planning to ever refuse affection from the younger, and his arms automatically lace around his hips as he waits for an explanation.

“I don’t want perfect, I want you.” Kihyun whispers, still smiling.

Hyunwoo is surged with a wave of relief he didn’t know he needed. It’s like he can see everything clearly. How even when he was acting off about the younger, Kihyun didn’t seem to return the posture. The younger was confident from second one that it was Hyunwoo he wanted, not Joshua. He didn’t cry while talking to the older because he had an objective in mind. He was sure of what he wanted to say, and he did it. He wasn’t afraid, and Hyunwoo feels like a fool for doing so.

“If this were a drama, you would’ve said ‘you are perfect’.” Hyunwoo whispers, a smile on his lips.

Kihyun giggles, a hand holding the older by the back of his neck and another hand gripping the front of his shirt. “Shut up.” He laughs, forehead pressing gently against Hyunwoo’s. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

“It does.” The ravenette promises, tone serious. The arms around Kihyun squeeze him a little tighter, and he does what all his body cells are yelling at him to do and surges forward to press his lips against Hyunwoo’s.

The older receives all he has to give. Responds to the kiss automatically, holding Kihyun against himself and feeling all the passion the both of them have to give, what they’re both feeling. His body is burning with the need to have the younger, to take him and never let go, press him against his own body and push delicious sounds out of him.

Kihyun can feel it. He feels, just by touching his warm skin and kissing his lips, how much the ravenette wants him right now, and knows he wants him just as much. He bites down on his lip, then pulls away with a gasp. “Someone should close the door.” He whispers. “Just in case they walk in. I don’t wanna scar any of them more then we already have.” He chuckles at the last part.

Hyunwoo laughs along. “Maybe we should, uh…” The older motions to the door, briefly.

The younger nods. “Yeah! We should, yeah. I’m- I’m gonna…” He makes many unnecessary hand movements, and then smiles and runs to the bathroom. Hyunwoo breathes in deeply and lets himself fall back on the bed. That small man is gonna be the death of him.

Kihyun’s back a few minutes later, hair damp and new clothes on. “I hadn’t showered today yet, was feeling gross.” He explains, walking up to bed, where Hyunwoo is still lying down. The older hums in acknowledgement, sitting up, and the brunette jogs to the door, closing it behind him, then turning to find Hyunwoo walking up to him.

Arms wrap themselves around Kihyun again, and he smiles at the older, hands on his biceps. Hyunwoo’s smile matches his, and they just look at each other like that for a few seconds before the older leans down, brushes his lips against Kihyun’s, and presses them together, now with his tongue slipping inside his mouth and meeting the brunette’s. The shorter male hums against his mouth, running his hands up from his biceps, feeling him up, brushing his small hand over his chest, fingertips tracing his collarbones peeking from the wide collar of the shirt he’s wearing. The kiss deepers, Hyunwoo bending forward a little, Kihyun going along, having nowhere else to go, and gripping the fabric of the ravenette’s shirt in his fists, kissing back as if he was in a trance, not even having to think about it with how natural it feels. His heart bursts, his body shivers, and his ears grow redder by the second, overwhelmed.

Kihyun gasps against the older’s mouth with every little thing he does. Hyunwoo nibbles on his bottom lip, sucks on his tongue, pecks his lips over and over just to tease, and stops just to brush their lips together, breathing in the younger’s pants as he tries to regain his breath after being kissed to intensely. What drives Kihyun even madder is how the taller smirks when he notices the effect he’s having on him. But he’s quick to regain the upper hand.

“I wanna see you getting hard.” Whispers the younger against the other’s lips.

Hyunwoo blushes slightly at the statement, grinning shyly. “Too late now.” He chuckles.

The younger male pulls back and gasps softly, hand running down and taking the older’s member in hand, only to realize that he’s already sporting a semi. He shoots him a questioning look, to which Hyunwoo bites his lower lip and smiles sheepishly.

“I keep getting flashbacks from last night. All day.” He confesses.

The brunette laughs adoringly, and pushes the older back until he falls sitting on the bed, and straddles him just like he had before, body aching for his touch. Kisses him right away and lets his arms wrap around his neck, his fingers play with his hair while Hyunwoo himself grips his waist and hips, groping him all over. The small sounds the both of them make are intoxicating. It’s like the air gets heavier by the minute, their kiss getting more hurried, hands reaching out to feel what they can, like that moment could end just like that, with no warning.

That is, until Hyunwoo rolls them over, lies between Kihyun’s legs and kisses him silly, slow and sensual. Kihyun makes an amused sound against his lips.

“I didn’t know we were gonna do this, but okay.” He says when they’ve pulled away to catch their breaths. Hyunwoo chuckles along like he’s just said the funniest thing, and kisses his cheeks and pecks his lips, starting with quick touches against his skin, then the kisses start to last a little longer, linger more. He keeps doing it, teasing, until Kihyun’s had enough and pulls him down by the nape, practically shoving his tongue in his mouth and wrapping his legs around his hips.

It feels amazing. The brunette closes his eyes and lets his head tilt back, legs still wrapped around Hyunwoo’s waist while the older undoes his pants, lips attached to his jaw, kissing down his neck as he finishes pulling down his sweatpants just enough to palm Kihyun over his underwear, moving away his hand to grind down on him just a few seconds later, seeming unable to decide what is it that he wants to do now.

Kihyun would tell him to calm down, that they have all the time they need, but he himself also doesn’t know what to do, or what he wants besides Hyunwoo, so he says nothing on the matter. They kiss slowly, feel each other up, take off their shirts, and then Hyunwoo pulls off his pants and underwear before attaching his lips to Kihyun’s neck, sucking and kissing, and running his hands on his hips, down to his outer thighs, under both his pants and underwear, pulling them off just like that. When the underwear gets caught on his hard on, Hyunwoo moves one of his hands and uses two fingers to pull the boxers further down, then wraps his hand around the younger’s erection, kissing up his neck, jaw, and catching his lips, swallowing his quiet moans.

Kihyun bucks up into the taller’s hand, impatient, wanting to be touched properly, for the older to take his pants off all the way. At this point, he wants anything.

“Baby.” He whispers quietly. It’s almost a whine, really, and it’s what makes Hyunwoo pull back to look into his pupil blown eyes. The younger doesn’t have to say anything for him to understand.

The ravenette sits back on his heels, his erection standing proudly and already a little wet, Kihyun notices. He pulls off the younger’s pants all the way and throws them somewhere, none of them really care where, and looks the younger up and down. Kihyun’s blushing, but he feels hot and he doesn’t hate it, the way Hyunwoo’s looking at him. The older feels up his sides, runs his hands down his stomach, revelling on how the younger’s back arches beautifully as he does it, how he shivers when he pinches his nipples.

“You’re so pretty.” Hyunwoo whispers, so low the younger almost doesn’t catch it. “So hot.” He adds, and Kihyun’s sure he’s beet red by now.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He says, motioning for Hyunwoo to come closer. The older lies between his legs, and Kihyun bucks up against him when their bare skins touch. He moans quietly, wrapping his legs around Hyunwoo’s waist again and going back to kissing him.

The kiss is messy. The both of them concentrated on rolling their hips against each other, on how their erections feel pressed together, moving deliciously like that. Kihyun can’t help but to moan into the older’s mouth, to grip his biceps and arch his back as he rolls his hips up. Hyunwoo is completely entranced by Kihyun, like he didn’t know he could be. Things are intense, even more than the night before, and he thinks he might lose his mind, because all he can think about is the pretty brunette under him and how much he wants to make him moan his name over and over.

“How do you want to have me?” Asks the shorter, pulling away so he can breathe.

The older backs away slightly, enough so that Kihyun can see his face without getting cross-eyed, and looks at him as he seems to go over his possibilities. The younger almost chuckles at it.

“Against the wall.” He finally answers, his voice an octave deeper from arousal, and the brunette is reminded of how much that turns him on. Hyunwoo pulls back, sitting up and helping Kihyun out of the bed along with him.

“Okay.” Says the younger, sounding a bit surprised. He walks up to the wall next to the bedside table. “I didn’t think you would want to, because of our height difference and stuff, but if you-” He’s cut off by Hyunwoo lifting him by the waist and pressing him up against the wall, between his legs. “...Oh.” He breathes. “...So this is what you mean by-” He cuts himself off, shuddering from a shiver that runs down his spine. “Against the wall.” Kihyun finishes, breathless, diving in to lick over Hyunwoo’s lips, that are shaped into a smirk, and kiss him again, holding onto his shoulders, worried about being dropped.

Hyunwoo tastes him, moving his own plump ones over Kihyun’s pretty and beautifully shaped lips. He licks into his mouth, plays with his tongue, groans when Kihyun grinds down against him. The younger runs his fingers through his black hair, gripping it just to feel the way the older sighs against his mouth, how he holds him tighter.

“Do you top?” Hyunwoo asks out of the blue, looking genuinely curious as he looks at the brunette with his pink kissed lips and those pretty glazed eyes.

“I’ve done some topping back in my day.” He nods, caressing the hairs by the older’s nape. “But I’d have to teach you how to clean up, and I’ve already cleaned myself up.” He says, wondering if he should be as comfortable talking about it in a moment like this as he is right now.

The older nods, taking that answer, and leans in to kiss the column of the younger’s neck, chuckling softly at how goddamn amazing it feels to be able to touch him like this, however he wants. Kihyun sighs at the feeling of Hyunwoo’s lips on his skin. It feels incredibly intimate, even after they’re both naked and pressed against each other.

As the kisses start going up the side of his neck and towards his ear, the shorter realizes the older male is probably doing it on purpose. The ravenette nibbles on the skin by his ear, and breathes heavily against it, making Kihyun pull himself in as a violent shiver runs through his body. His ear is incredibly sensitive, and he’s always been careful not to point that out, since the knowledge would give Minhyuk and the others a new way to annoy him, but Hyunwoo must have noticed. Sometimes Kihyun underestimates the older, really.

Then the older pulls away with a “Wait.” and puts Kihyun down. The brunette shoots him a questioning look with a frown. “Can you come twice?” He asks.

Kihyun’s not sure if he’s heard him right. “Come twice? I… I guess? I think I can.” He says, still not sure of what the older’s asking.

“I want to suck you off.” Hyunwoo clarifies, heated gaze over the younger, who stares back dumbfounded.

His knees go a little weak, and he grips the older’s arms a little tighter before nodding. “Okay.” He whispers, and almost dies when Hyunwoo drops to his knees and grabs his hips, pulling them a little closer, making Kihyun’s upper back and head rest against the wall.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since you sucked me off.” Hyunwoo admits, kissing his upper thighs and his lower stomach, nibbling on the place and making Kihyun giggle.

“Only since then?” Asks the younger playfully.

“I never really thought of giving a blowjob before.” The older explains, taking Kihyun’s member in hand, stroking slowly and  _staring_ as he does. It’s almost like he’s in trance, and the younger blushes a deep red.

“Stop.” He asks, softly, a hand on the older’s shoulder, embarrassed out of his mind.

The older chuckles, looking up at him. “Sorry if I’m terrible.” He says.

“Just do whatever you think would feel good.” Kihyun says, running his fingers through the dark strands, loving how good Hyunwoo looks with his hair pushed back.

“I’m probably just gonna mimic you.” The taller adds before leaning in to give the head a kiss, then lick it slowly before putting it in his mouth. He suckles at it at first, softly, then slides a bit down.

Kihyun throws his head back and sighs, back arching more than it already is. His fingers still playing with Hyunwoo’s hair as the older slides up and down carefully, and playing with his tongue as he does. He grows more confident as he bobs his head a little faster, and uses his fingers to play with Kihyun’s balls, so careful it’s like he’s afraid to hurt him.

Hyunwoo pulls back to lick the shaft from base to tip and gives the underside of the head a wet kiss, earning a suppressed whimper from the younger male. The little sounds and reactions Kihyun lets out seem to act as incentive to the ravenette, who takes him back into his mouth and bobs up and down a little faster, but slow enough that it makes Kihyun shudder and his legs tremble.

Just the fact Hyunwoo’s doing this because he wants to, not because he’s expected to, is enough to get the brunette turned on, but it turns out he’s also _good_ at it, and it has Kihyun feeling his whole body shiver at every little suck and swipe of his tongue, or small touch of his hands, even if just against his skin. He can feel how hard his nipples are, like he’s aware of everything that’s happening to his body, and moans softly when the older runs his short fingernails up and down his torso. The older doesn’t look up at him, but Kihyun doesn’t mind. He knows it can be a little embarrassing to make eye contact while giving head, especially if it’s your first time doing it.

The small sounds he makes don’t seem to be enough for the older male though, because he takes upon himself to pinch both of Kihyun’s nipples and rub his thumbs over the hardened nubs. The younger’s mewls, groans and soft whimpers are such a turn on Hyunwoo feels the precome running down the lenght of his erection. He sucks on the head, flattening his tongue as he goes down and puts almost the whole thing in his mouth.

Kihyun’s lost in pleasure, fingers feebly playing with the older’s locks as he tries and fails to grasp onto reality. The only thing that grounds him is Hyunwoo’s strong grip on him. He feels as the older moves his hips slowly back and fort, indicating that he wants Kihyun to move, which he does as soon as he catches up. The slow thrusts make him delirous, the soft hum against his cock as Hyunwoo sucks around him drive him mad. The older pulls off to play with his tongue against the head, concentrating on the underside, making it wet and a little more intense than Kihyun knew a tongue against his dick could feel.

He’s already tipping over the edge, getting there rather fast. But when Hyunwoo moves his hands to his right buttcheek, squeezes and lightly brushes his fingers against him rim, pressing a little more firmly when Kihyun clenches and shudders, the younger reaches it.

“I’m gonna come!” He warns, gripping his hair and expecting the ravenette to pull off, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even stop his ministrations, just looks up to watch, and Kihyun comes looking into his eyes through his eyelashes as his legs shake and he moans out.

When the come hits his mouth, the taller male is surprised, since he’s been mostly paying attention on the blowjob and the hot as hell facial expression Kihyun makes when he comes, but easily swallows without complaint.

And for some reason he doesn’t stop. He stays there, bobbing his head slowly and sucking softly until Kihyun gently pulls him off. Hyunwoo gives it one last kiss before pulling himself to his feet. The brunette hums amusedly, locking eyes with the older as he stands.

Kihyun goes in to kiss him, hands on his shoulders, but Hyunwoo dodges him, making a face. The younger is confused for a second, then chuckles softly. “It’s okay.” He says, bringing the ravenette closer and sealing their lips. This time he goes in easily, wrapping his arms around the brunette and resting intertwined fingers against his lower back, kissing him lazily and caressing the skin there with his fingernails. The slow push of their tongues is hypnotizing, the small sucks at each other’s bottom lip and swipes of tongue against the roof of their mouths all too provocative. That’s how they like it.

Soon Hyunwoo is pushing Kihyun back so his back is fully against the wall, and the younger laughs amusedly against his mouth, not even breaking the kiss. Hyunwoo seems to be fully concentrated on the kiss, while his body does it’s own thing and he pushes himself against the younger, still rock hard and needing him.

It’s not five minutes later when Kihyun’s pulling away from his lips to whisper “You can fuck me now big boy.”

Hyunwoo’s moves his lips to his cheekbones and brushes them against the soft skin. “Do you think you can get hard again?” He questions.

The brunette hums. “Real fast with you rutting against me like that.”

The older then notices he is, in fact, pressing up against Kihyun with a thigh between his legs and his erection against his lower stomach. He has to hold back the surprised noise that comes up in his throat.

“The lube is still on the bedside table, but I don’t know if I still have condoms.” Kihyun tells him, looking concerned.

“I might have some.” Says the ravenette, pulling away from the younger, who makes a small noise in complaint. Hyunwoo reaches for his suitcase and finds his toiletries in a pocket, rummaging through it until he finds two condoms. He brings one of the packets with him, walking up to the younger with it and the lube retrieved from the bedside table. “Found it.”

“How old is that thing?” The shorter questions.

Hyunwoo shrugs. “A month old?”

“Well, okay then.” Kihyun nods, motioning for the other to come closer.

The older approaches him and cages him against the wall, holding the condom packet between his teeth as he opens the lube bottle. Kihyun offers his hand for him to pour lube onto, but Hyunwoo shakes his head. The brunette takes the condom from between his teeth and holds it in his hands as he puts his arms over the taller’s shoulders. Hyunwoo drizzles some of the lube onto his fingers and wraps an arm around Kihyun to press one against the pretty furl of his entrance, circling it there so he’ll get used to it.

“Can’t remember the last time I was prepped by someone else.” The younger confesses in a whisper.

Hyunwoo leans down and kisses him briefly, breaking it to press their foreheads together. They both have their eyes closed as he presses them closer together, circles the younger with both arms and starts pressing in the first finger. Kihyun’s response is to arch his back and spread his legs a little, tip toeing out of reflex. Hyunwoo thinks he’s adorable.

At first, the soft noises the younger makes are almost muted. They escalate rather quickly once Hyunwoo moves his finger just the right way, and the sounds start becoming mewls and soft whines. The older opens the lube once again and drizzles it over where the younger clenches around his finger, using his other hand. Soon he’s pushing in the second finger, and Kihyun hides his face on the crook of his neck, legs shaking from the strain of being on his tiptoes. He knows he doesn’t have to stay like that, but the pain just makes it all more exciting as he has this big bulky body against him, feeling like he’s safe from anything else because Hyunwoo can protect him.

“Feels so good.” He mumbles against the skin of the older’s neck, shaking his ass from side to side just to tease, and Hyunwoo lightly smacks his right cheek with a chuckle. “I think I’m okay.” He says, bringing the condom in his hands and holding it against his lower abdomen.

The older male pulls off his fingers, sliding them up the crack of Kihyun’s butt just to provoke him. He takes the condom from his smaller hand and hands him the lube bottle instead, opening the packet and sliding the latex material over his erection while Kihyun watches with his head still against the crook of his neck. Once he’s done, Kihyun takes the lube and pours a bit in his palm, smoothing it over the older’s hard cock, pumping it a few times, looking almost mesmerized, and Hyunwoo’s not sure how he should feel about that.

“Ready, jagiya?” He asks. The younger raises his head and nods at him. The ravenette hums then, holding him by his hips. Kihyun jumps and Hyunwoo holds him, locking him against the wall, legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He chuckles. “Tell me if you want me to put you down.” He says.

Kihyun nods, but doesn’t move from where he’s got his head resting against his own arm. He takes an arm around and lines Hyunwoo up with his entrance, since the older himself is busy holding him up, and he’d rather not be dropped. He sighs as he feels it touching his now sensitive entrance.

“Might be easier to hold you up if you lean against the wall, baby.” Hyunwoo tells him. The brunette does it, leaning with his scapulas and head against the wall. In that position, he can’t really reach down anymore, but Hyunwoo can. The older lines his member up with his hole, brushing the head of his cock back and forth to see how Kihyun whines in protest. Then he finally lines up properly and sinks the younger onto it, being careful not to hurt him.

They both groan when he’s finally bottomed up. It’s hot and tight inside, and Hyunwoo feels like he could actually cry from so much pleasure. The memory of being inside him doesn’t do justice.

“I feel so fucking full.” Kihyun whines, head thrown back against the wall, eyes closed and bottom lip between his teeth. He holds onto the older like his life depends on it, but not because he’s afraid to fall this time, no, it’s because he needs something to ground him, and wants to hold him more than anything right then. “Go on, fuck me.” He breathes, rolling his hips.

Hyunwoo finally does it then. He rearranges them and circles the younger’s thighs with his arms, keeping them spread as he starts thrusting into him, moaning against his collarbones. He’s been hard for so long, _god,_ and the friction is so good he feels lost, overwhelmed, still not satisfied.

“Oh, fuck.” The younger gasps, gripping him and arching his back. “I like how quiet you get during sex.” He comments, trying to roll his hips in time with the older’s thrusts, but he’s practically locked in place by his arms.

“Sorry.” Hyunwoo mumbles.

“It’s okay.” Kihyun breathes out. “I can be the one doing the talking.” He says, squeezing around Hyunwoo teasingly, and receiving powerful trusts as an answer. He cries out, and Hyunwoo chuckles.

Kihyun’s moans are loud now, his fingernails drag against the older’s broad back, desperate, screaming out his name and squeezing around him at every pointed trust. Hyunwoo’s good at angling, as it seems, because he keeps hitting his spot.

“Goddamnit, right there!” The brunette throws his head back, gripping his black hair in his hands with a muted scream. “Fuck me! Fuck me, please.” He cries, almost chanting it, over and over again begging to be fucked, and Hyunwoo’s about to lose his mind with how turned on he is, how hot and wet Kihyun feels around him. He kisses the column of his neck, exposed to him as if the younger were submitting to do whatever he pleases.

The hot kisses against his skin make Kihyun shudder, consequently squeezing around the hard cock inside him and whimpering at the hyperawareness he’s experiencing. “Come on, baby, please.” He sobs, Hyunwoo pressing onto him, their bodies so close together you could barely tell where one ends and the other begins. Kihyun mewls at the friction, his cock between their bodies. “Tell me how good I feel.” The younger begs.

“Fucking amazing.” Hyunwoo answers, without missing a beat. “You feel so fucking good, baby, Kihyun.” He moans, gripping his thighs, fair skin getting marked by a tanned one, leaving bruises both want to be there later.

The ravenette groans and lets out low moans as he fucks into the younger like he needs him, while Kihyun’s moans grow needier by the second. He presses their foreheads together and Hyunwoo doesn’t miss the chance to kiss him, passionate and sloppy. Kihyun moans and cries against his mouth when the older’s trusts become deep, slow and hard as they kiss. He knows he’s getting there rather fast, and his body won’t let him hide it from Hyunwoo either. He starts to feel a frantic desperation, like he needs to express all his dirty thoughts, get fucked hard until he comes.

 _“Fuck me.”_ He demands, biting down onto Hyunwoo’s bottom lip. The older does as demanded, shifting Kihyun a bit farther from the wall and fucking into him fast as hard, spreading his thighs even wider and sucking one of his nipples into his mouth. The younger cries, and clenches so hard around Hyunwoo it’s hard to move. He’s in love.

The ravenette moans at how his entrance seem to suck him in whenever he moves, like Kihyun’s body doesn’t want him to stop, and that he can agree with. The younger’s cock in between them feels wet from the precome that’s oozing out, and he tells him to touch himself since Hyunwoo’s own hands are occupied.

It only takes a few tugs against his own cock, powerful trusts from Hyunwoo’s and curse words being screamed out, for Kihyun to come, spilling his come all over their bodies. The older’s movements slow down fairly, but Kihyun protests as he does.

He keeps fucking into his oversensitive body, about to reach his own orgasm, as the younger whimpers, and says “Inside. Come inside.” And he’s a goner. Hyunwoo’s cock throbs and he moans, spilling into the condom. He grips Kihyun’s thighs hard and and his body shakes as he comes.

By the end of it, they’re both panting. The older carefully presses Kihyun back between the wall and his body, not quite ready to put him down yet, but not strong enough to hold him in that position anymore. He leans in to kiss the younger male’s lips, lazy and uncoordinated, but still loving.

“God.” The brunette moans. “That was amazing.” He whispers, pecking his lips once again. Hyunwoo nods, breathless, foreheads pressed together.

“You were amazing.” He tells the younger, who runs his clean hand over his hair.

“Thank you.” He whispers. “You were incredible too. Now put me down, my legs ache and you’re still inside me.” He says.

Hyunwoo finally puts Kihyun down, and the younger stumbles as he does, legs weak. The older helps him walk to the bed, and they throw themselves on it, uncerimoniously.

“Give me a minute and I’ll clean us up.” Hyunwoo says, voice hoarse.

“I can go.” The younger interjects, his own voice not much better.

The older laughs weakly. “You can barely walk.” He says, and the shorter can’t say anything to that.

Eventually they both clean up and lie down next to each other. Hyunwoo wraps his arms around Kihyun and hides his face on his neck, enjoying the moment.

“I think I might be sore until next week.” Jokes Kihyun, and the older _giggles._

Kihyun reaches to the bedside for Hyunwoo’s phone to see what time it is, and freezes when he sees the lockscreen is a picture of him, asleep. A picture he doesn’t recall taking. He locks the phone and puts it back in place. There are butterflies on his stomach, and he smiles to himself. It might have been to keep up the act, but it’s still a sweet gesture. He recognizes the picture as being taken in the train.

“Move.” He tells the older, pushing a confused Hyunwoo so he can lie on his side in front of him. They lie facing each other, and Kihyun moves closer to wrap an arm around him and intertwine their legs. Hyunwoo doesn’t complain, holding the younger against him. Kihyun kisses him sweetly, then moves his head so he can lie comfortably.

He feels the older kissing his forehead, and falls asleep to Hyunwoo caressing the skin of his back and thighs with his fingertips.

Meanwhile, outside, both Hyungwon and Hoseok have ran out of the house. They sit side by side on a bench, having ran outside at the first suspicious noise that came from the other bedroom.

“‘I top.’ My ass.” Hyungwon comments grumpily. “Those were _not_ top moans.”

“Goddammit Hyungwon, I had finally forgotten those noises.” Hoseok hisses.

The taller rests his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and huffs. “If they weren’t fucking right now, I would have already kicked them out for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was never planning on Kihyun choosing Joshua, so if you think I would do that, sorry :D lmao  
> I do love Joshua so much ;-;  
> I hope this compensates for the shitty ass smut in Shine Forever <3  
> This fic is officially longer than Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets now owo
> 
> talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) (I'm always either shadowbanned and get locked all the time just for existing, so be aware) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat)!


	11. Newton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't tell me you expected me to make things easy? I'm not that merciful lmao  
> Have fun  
> This was shorter than I expected it to be, it's around 9k  
> -  
> For Fatima, who recommended the song I listened to the most while writing this chapter, and helped me get through it without even knowing.  
> Well, now you do.
> 
> (This ain't proofread as usual ok I'm sorry I'm impatient)

 

 

> As if I’m being pulled, I’m changing  
>  Feels familiar but different as well  
>  You’re the strength that wakes me up from being down

 

Waking up has never been something Kihyun claimed to love. Not because he’s melancholic and wishes he was asleep all the time, no. But in all honesty, who actually likes waking up when you were in such a nice and deep slumber? There, that’s his point right there.

Nevertheless, when his phone blasts the alarm and he has to detach himself from Hyunwoo and reach over him to press _decline,_ he’s reminded of what happened the day before, and turns back to the older’s wakening chubby face with a soft look in his eyes.

“Hey.” He whispers.

“Shit, do we gotta get up already?” Hyunwoo asks, an undertone of _whininess_ in his tone.

“Nah.” The younger runs his fingers through his hair. “Go back to sleep, yeobo. We still have two hours until we have to get up.” He says.

“Then why did the alarm go off?”

“I wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still had time to sleep.” The brunette snickers, and Hyunwoo chuckles with his eyes closed.

“You’re an evil mastermind.” He says, pulling him close.

Kihyun leans in to softly press their lips together, and then kisses the corner of the ravenette’s mouth. “Go back to sleep.” He says again, and this time Hyunwoo complies.

The younger falls asleep as well, but not right away. He snuggles closer into the other’s embrace, and sighs happily at being able to have him like this, soft and pliant, all defenses down. He wants nothing more than to have this forever. Makes him wonder if it’s too much to ask.

“I can feel you staring.” The older speaks up, and Kihyun startles in surprise, not knowing he was awake. “A penny for your thoughts?”

The younger doesn’t reply right away. As he looks the other in the eyes he starts drifting away into his own thoughts. He realizes he can feel his breath against his lips, and his hands feel heavy on his naked body. His eyes are beautiful, and his black hair contrasts with his tanned skin in such an enchanting way.

“Baby?” Hyunwoo calls.

“I like the way your hands feel.” He replies without thinking, then feels his face heating up. “When you’re holding me.”

The older raises both eyebrows, then smiles with his brow furrowed. “That’s cute.” He says, and runs his hand down his back like he had done the night before, and Kihyun shivers in content. “Is that all you have up there?”

Kihyun looks him in the eye again, then trails down to his lips, staring at them as he says in a quiet voice “Yeah.”

Hyunwoo chuckles, then, and bites his lower lip as he pushes Kihyun back and rolls over on top of him, leaning in to kiss him like he hasn’t seen in forever and stealing the younger’s breath. They kiss with burning passion, toe curling and hair standing passion, and it has the younger feeling like the last puzzle piece is now in place, and he’s one complete — beautiful — picture.

He doesn’t even dare saying they shouldn’t do this because of morning breath. It’s pretty irrelevant, right then.

“Wow.” He whispers, looking at the older through half lidded eyes and flushed cheeks. “Thank you.”

An amused smile, and Hyunwoo noses at Kihyun’s cheek, rolling them back to their original position and holding him protectively. “You’re welcome.” He smiles teasingly. “Anytime.”

“Shut up.” Kihyun laughs.

“Make me.” Mutters the ravenette.

“I wanna sleep. Stop trying to get laid.” The younger scolds playfully, closing his eyes as he says that.

The taller gasps dramatically. “How can you ask for me to do such a thing?” He questions, poking at Kihyun’s sides and making him squirm at being touched in a place that makes him ticklish. “Say you’re sorry.”

 _“Never.”_ Kihyun replies, just as dramatic.

Hyunwoo stops with the abuse, and goes back to holding the younger against himself, smiling softly at him.

“I love your smile.” The brunette confesses with a fond look in his eyes, his free arm laces around the older’s neck and his fingers trail into his hair. _I love you._

“I love your laugh.” Hyunwoo whispers, smiling slightly at the man in front of him. _I love you too._

The older runs his hand down his back and squeezes his butt playfully, and Kihyun jolts. “Ow!”

“What? Are you okay?” Hyunwoo questions worriedly, supporting himself on his elbow as he stares down at the brunette.

But the younger simply nods. “Don’t worry, I’m just sore.” He says. “It’ll be gone eventually.”

“Was I too rough?”

“Not really, it’s just the position we were in.” He explains, feeling a bit ashamed. “You don’t have to worry, okay? Come lie down next to me, it’s fine.” Kihyun pulls the older male gently so he’ll lie down and go back to cuddling him.

“You’d tell me if I had been too rough or did something wrong, right?” Asks the ravenette with a soft voice. The younger nods, wrapping his arms around the bigger man. They hold each other’s gaze, eyes droopy.

“Let’s sleep.” Kihyun interrupts their staring contest to say. “We’ll have to get up in less than two hours.”

The older nods, and they get comfortable enough while still holding each other, so they can sleep like this. They’re able to fall asleep quickly.

Some time later, the alarm goes off again, and this time they have to actually get up. Kihyun sits up, already grumpy about having to get off his nice warm cocoon made of soft blankets and a Hyunwoo, but he has to be responsible and get up to get things ready.

“Wake up, hyung.” He calls sleepily, tapping the place next to him blindly, and shaking Hyunwoo awake. “Come on, we have to get up.”

“Ugh, no.” Hyunwoo groans. “Let’s live here please I don’t want to move.”

The younger chuckles, and leans down to kiss the older’s shoulder. “Come on. Don’t make me throw cold water on you, ‘cause I will and you know that.”

Hyunwoo does move then, finally, rolling onto his back and sighing. He glances annoyedly at Kihyun, then moves to get off the bed. The younger observes as he stands and goes to his suitcase, stark naked, his back to him. His back muscles are amazing, and his ass is great, Kihyun has to admit, but what catches his attention is the angry red lines that trace down his back, going from the middle down to the sides in diagonal lines, some darker than others.

“Oh my god.” Whispers the younger male to himself, but Hyunwoo seems to hear him, turning around as he’s just put underwear on.

“Don’t worry. I’ll shower, but I didn’t want to walk out of the room naked.” He says, assuming Kihyun is commenting on the fact he’s getting dressed when they didn’t even shower the night before after having sex, merely cleaning up with a cloth.

“No, I... “ The brunette starts, getting off the bed too, and walking towards the other. He doesn’t miss the way the older’s eyes trail down in interest at his naked figure. “Your back.” He says, ignoring the slight pain on his bottom due to the sudden movement.

Hyunwoo frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Your back is scratched.” He explains. “It doesn’t look too good.”

The older male smirks at him. “I remember how dedicated you were at scratching me yesterday.”

Kihyun does his best not to blush at the memory of dragging his nails down the ravenette’s back while shouting his name over and over.  “I’m sorry.” He says quietly, gaze fixated on the marks as he runs his fingers softly over the red skin there. “Does it hurt?”

He glances up and the older isn’t looking at him, but forward as he puts on a shirt. “It’s not really hurting. But I can feel it constantly. It’s warm.” He says. “It’s almost like a reminder of what happened.” The corners of his lips tug upwards. “So I don’t mind it.”

“We can put something on it after your shower.” Kihyun tells him, moving closer and dropping a kiss to his shoulder before patting his butt. “Go on, I’ll finish packing up our stuff.”

The older chuckles before walking out of the room.

Kihyun turns around and faces the suitcases on the floor. He sighs. It feels so weird to do this. Pack to leave, go back to the life back in Seoul. That life feels so far away from what he’s living now. The week he spent here in Gwangju, in the cottage, with Hyunwoo, Hoseok, Hyungwon and his family, felt like more than just a week. It feels like it’s been months, a lifetime. So much happened.

Back home it’s usually very monotone, considering how in just a week here he’s felt so many emotions, dealt with so many things. Things that would have happened within months back in Seoul here happened in a week.

Even though it feels weird, it’s not all bad. Holidays, vacations, can’t last forever. He needs the reality of his job, dealing with his apartment, having to take care of himself without having his mother ten minutes away to come cry to when he fucks up. He’s independent now, and going away now doesn’t feel scary. He’s constantly evolving, and the Kihyun who’s leaving Gwangju isn’t the same who arrived here a week ago, just like he’s not the same he was when he first left to Seoul along with Minhyuk.

Another chapter ends, so the next one can begin.

It’s with that thought in mind that he packs up what’s left, and makes sure to pick out the clothes he’ll travel in, and takes liberty to do the same with Hyunwoo’s, knowing the older didn’t bother doing it himself beforehand. He can always pick something else in case he doesn’t like what Kihyun chose.

When the ravenette walks back into the room he grabs his own stuff and goes to the bathroom, taking a quick shower. It’s nine in the morning when he walks out, and he puts on a shirt, staying in his underwear, while Hyunwoo has his pants on already, so they can go have breakfast.

They sit across each other on the table, eating silently. None of them wants to address how it feels to be leaving Gwangju, the sensation already underlined in everything they do.

“Hey.” Someone says, and the both of them turn to see Hoseok walking out of the room with Hyungwon trailing behind.

“Good morning.” Hyunwoo says.

“When are you guys leaving?” Hoseok asks.

Kihyun smiles sadly. “Soon. After we finish eating we’ll be starting to leave.”

The blond male nods slowly, looking down.

“Are you joining us?” Hyunwoo asks them, motioning the food.

“No, we just got up to catch you before you left.” Hyungwon says. “We’ll go back to bed after you go.”

They sit on the table, making small talk with them, as well as company as they finish their breakfast. Hoseok tells them not to mind the dishes, telling them they’ll do it all themselves after they eat, and before leaving to their homes likewise.

Kihyun and Hyunwoo walk back to the bathroom and brush their teeth. The younger puts some ointment on the other’s back, and once they’re done they also put away their toiletries.

“Did you grab your phone charger? Don’t forget it.” Kihyun asks.

The older hums. “You packed our presents already?” He asks.

“I did.” The shorter says. “Did you put your contacts on?”

“Yeah.”

When they’re done with everything, they stand there, staring at their packed stuff for a few seconds.

“I’ll call my brother so he’ll come pick us up.” Kihyun tells the ravenette, squeezing his arm before walking out.

The other two are still outside, Hyungwon sitting on the couch while Hoseok sits on it’s armrest, his arms crossed in front of his chest and staring forward, at nothing in particular. They look up when they notice Kihyun’s there, and watch as he calls Wonhyun and tells him to come pick them up.

“He’s taking you to the station?” Hyungwon asks.

“He’ll take us to the main house first so we say our goodbyes and all.” The brunette says, shrugging. “But I guess this is where we should hug goodbye.” He adds.

Hyunwoo walks out of the bedroom with their stuff. “Did you call him?” He asks, and Kihyun nods.

“I hate this part.” Hoseok says, and Kihyun looks at him with a knowing look.

“Hyung…” He starts, walking up to him.

The blond accepts him in his arms easily, holding him tightly. “I hate whenever I have to see your or Minhyukie go.” He says against the younger’s shoulder. “I miss you both so much. I’ll miss you so much.”

Hyunwoo puts their stuff by the front door, and shares a look with Hyungwon, who smiles sadly at him.

Kihyun can’t help as his eyes well up. He’ll miss Hoseok just as much as the other will miss him. He misses the older male everyday. He knows it’s harder for him. Back in Seoul, Kihyun has Minhyuk with him, while Hoseok was left all alone in Gwangju. Two thirds of them are all the way across the country from the remaining third.

He feels relieved by the fact he has Hyungwon now.

“I’ll miss you. You know I will.” He says, pulling back to cup his face. “Stop making me cry.” He chuckles, tear stained cheeks matching the older’s. “I’ll see you again, obviously, you never know how soon it’ll be.”

“Text me when you get to the train station, then when you arrive in Seoul.” Hoseok demands.

“I will.” Nods the brunette, and they hug one more time.

Then Kihyun goes to Hyungwon, who hugs him as if they’ve known each other for their whole lives, because it sure as hell feels like it.

“Take care of him.” The shorter asks. “And let him take care of you too.”

“Always.” Hyungwon says. “Take care of yourself.” He adds, fixing him a serious look.

“I’ll do my best.” He smiles.

Hyunwoo hugs them both too, but more briefly than Kihyun did, and they exchange some words. Then there’s the sound of a car honking outside, and they have to leave.

The other two wave by the door as Wonhyun takes off, everything having been packed in the car. Hyungwon holds Hoseok tightly as silent tears run down his face, seeming to be holding them back himself, probably affected by his boyfriend’s reaction as well the feeling of having to part ways with the people he’s learned to care about like they were old friends.

They arrive at the main house, and leave their things in the car as they’ve only come around so they too could say their goodbyes.

Everything feels weird, like a dream. Kihyun hugs his mother tightly and kisses the top of her head, and hugs his dad awkwardly.

“I’ll miss you a lot, noona.” He says to Soona while Hyunwoo says goodbye to his parents. He hugs her too, then looks down at the baby playing on his colorful mat on the floor. “And you, baby. Please don’t forget me, okay?” He says, kneeling down to kiss the top of the baby’s head. “I love you very much.”

“He won’t forget you.” His sister-in-law promises. “We’ll miss you a lot.”

Hyunwoo comes closer and hugs Soona just like the younger had, and bends down to talk to Dohyun. Kihyun watches fondly as he talks to the baby, and the small kid curls his fingers around his pointer finger.

“Don’t make me cry again!” Kihyun scolds.

The older chuckles, looking at him quizzically even though he knows what he means. “Stop it.” He says.

It’s funny how it’s easier for him to say goodbye to his family than it is to friends. Maybe because family is attached to you no matter what, and you know you’ll always end up coming back to them, but you’re always afraid distance might take friends from you.

“Call me when you arrive.” His mother requests after she hands them the container with some food for their trip. Probably kimbap.

“I promise.” Kihyun says, waving at them.

His brother then drives them to the station, and they sing along to the songs on the radio on the way there, putting off the awkward conversation that is scheduled to happen. Though they’re only able to put it off until they arrive, and they have to say goodbye to Wonhyun too.

“Bye, hyung.” He hugs his brother. “Take care of my baby.” He tells him.

“Well, _now that you asked.”_ He says sarcastically, laughing. He shakes Hyunwoo’s hand, and makes sure they’re all set before leaving. Kihyun watches him go, and it downs on him that he’s leaving again. He’s reminded of how this last week felt like whole months, and his eyes well up again. The older male wraps an arm around him, not judging him in the slightest. He couldn’t possibly know how Kihyun might feel by leaving his family and friends behind, doing this a few times a year, every year.

The older rubs his arm, and kisses Kihyun’s temple. The younger turns to him and hides his face on his shoulder, and Hyunwoo holds him for a moment, until the brunette pulls back with a chuckle, wiping his tears. “People are looking.”

“I don’t care.” Says the older truthfully.

Kihyun smiles up at him, and pulls away to grab his suitcase. “Come on. Let’s go.”

It’s all very monotone, the procedures before taking a trip by train. Kihyun texts Hoseok and his mother as well as Minhyuk. They get their tickets, walk around for a bit, just like they did when they were waiting to come to Gwangju a week ago. They roam around hand in hand, looking like two zombies almost. Both males are still tired and wishing to be in bed, and it shows on how they look and move around.

It’s why when they finally get in the train and find their seats, Kihyun rests his legs across Hyunwoo’s lap and rests his head on his shoulder, and promptly falls asleep in minutes. The older male follows him into the land of dreams not much time later, his cheek against the top of the brunette’s head and a hand on his knee.

They sleep for a whole of three hours, and when they finally wake up none of them engages in a conversation. The silence is comfortable, sitting next to each other with their hands intertwined as they look out of the window in silence. Kihyun reaches out to draw a heart on the foggy glass, and Hyunwoo chuckles and brings his hand to his lips, kissing the back of it.

Though their moment of peaceful silence is interrupted by Hyunwoo’s stomach rumbling, and it has the both of them laughing before Kihyun grabs the container with the kimbaps his mother prepared for them and they start eating, realizing they didn’t actually have lunch yet. They promise to eat when the train stops in Daejeon.

With about half an hour to spare, they chat quietly about little things like work and the weather. Kihyun talks about coffee and what he and the other boys are best at, Hyunwoo tells him about what types of books people seem to rent the most, and what types they sit around to read. Kihyun tells him he likes when it’s raining at night and how he’s more productive on those days, and Hyunwoo talks about how he enjoys late afternoons during springtime. Every so often their gazes drop to each other’s lips when they think the other’s isn’t looking, longing for a kiss but not wanting to display that amount of affection in public.

Yongsan station isn’t much different than it was a week ago. It’s fuller, more people walking around, getting off and in, which is expected of December 26, when mostly everyone is going back home after spending the holidays elsewhere, most likely with family.

They walk around and find a small fast food place. Kihyun supposes they deserve to eat some junk food after a week of eating his mother’s homemade food, so they order and sit in one of the tables. There’s not much people there, many having chosen to eat in the bigger restaurants.

“We’re gonna have to work out to lose all the weight we put on during this week.” Kihyun comments. “Feels like it was worth it though.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Or maybe _I_ shouldn’t and you’re gonna have a chubby boyfriend from now on.” The older says.

Kihyun chuckles. “Can’t wait.” He says with a smile.

“So you’re saying you won’t mind?” Hyunwoo questions, a raised eyebrow.

“As long as you don’t risk your health, I don’t really care.” The brunette shrugs. “Though I guess I _would_ miss ogling at your muscles here and again.”

Kihyun is met with silence, and he looks up to see Hyunwoo’s staring at the hamburger in his hands.

“Yeobo, what’s wrong?” He asks quietly.

“I need to talk to you about something.” Says the ravenette with a sigh, putting down his food. Kihyun grows instantly anxious, eyes widening as he stares at Hyunwoo expectantly. “You have this habit of complaining about how much I eat and how I’m always hungry and sometimes you say I’m getting fat and I don’t like it.” He says.

Kihyun stares, wondering what he should say. “I was hoping they were wrong.” He says to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing.” The younger says. “I’m sorry. I nag so much sometimes I guess I don’t realize it can be hurtful. I didn’t mean to upset you, Hyunwoo.”

“Sometimes you don’t mean it but it hurts anyway.” The older mumbles.

“I know. I know and I’m sorry. I do feel bad. You eat a lot because you work out and you have a fast metabolism, and I _know_ that. I don’t know why I’ve been such a dick about it.” He sighs. “Maybe seeing you eat all the time and not gaining weight annoys me ‘cause I’m not able to do that.”

The older pinches the bridge of his nose. “I understand, but it’s not an excuse. You can’t make me feel bad about myself just because you’re envious, baby.” He reaches out and takes Kihyun’s hand, and the brunette finally relaxes at the petname, now sure that the older isn’t mad at him.

“I know that. It’s not an excuse, just maybe the cause of it. I’ll stop doing it.” He promises. “I really am sorry. I’m sorry I’ve upset you.”

“It’s okay now. I know sometimes you don’t realize. As long as you don’t do it again I’ll forgive you.” Hyunwoo says, and takes Kihyun’s hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles. The younger realizes that’s a cute way in which the ravenette shows affection sometimes.

They go back to eating with the tension in the air long gone. When they finish eating and return the trays after throwing away the trash, they sit side by side on a bench that’s close enough to where they’ll get on the next train and wait patiently.

“Hey, remember when you said, huh… That thing about the people you’ve kissed? And how you said I was one of them and the other was a girl?” Hyunwoo brings up suddenly, sounding somewhat shy.

Kihyun frowns, trying to grab onto the information so he’ll have any idea of what the older male is referring to. “You mean when I said only three people have kissed me without the intention of taking me to bed?” Hyunwoo nods. “Yeah. What about it?”

“You never said who the third person was?” He asks quietly.

“I… didn’t think I had to?” Kihyun frowns.

“You didn’t! You don’t have to, I mean. I’m just curious.”

The younger smiles. “It’s okay. I don’t mind you being curious.” He rubs the older’s arm soothingly. “The third person was a boy that went to school with me when I was younger. His name was Yoongi.” Kihyun says softly. “He was nice, and he kissed me in that same piano room. Actually… I started playing piano because he played it too, when we were younger.”

“How old were you?” Hyunwoo asks.

“When we kissed? I was fifteen.” Says the brunette. “We had a thing, kinda, and it was nice but short lived. Didn’t work out.” He watches his own legs as he dangles them back and forth.

Then he feels a light touch to his hand and realizes Hyunwoo is slipping his fingers through his, very carefully, the touch almost not there at all, apart from the warmth of his palms. “Why not?”

Kihyun looks up at him. “He had to go back to his hometown. Just like I had to go back to Gwangju when I was ten.” He shrugs. “It happens I guess. But it’s okay because even if it had worked out, I would’ve gone away to Seoul for college anyway.”

“If you had been dating him for three years, would you really have left him to study in Seoul?”

“I like to believe I would.” He says. "It’s hard to know since it’s never happened, and I don’t have a basis to tell you how I act towards someone when I’m in a relationship because I haven’t actually _dated_ anyone.” A pause. “Apart from you, or course.”

“I don’t know what I would’ve done.” The ravenette coffesses.

“If you had to leave someone to go live somewhere else?”

“Yeah, that too.” He nods. _If you left me to live somewhere else._ “You know about the girlfriend I had that had to live somewhere else, so I’m kind of familiar with the feeling.”

Kihyun squeezes his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You know it too. You’ve moved around a lot more than I have.” Says the other in all honesty.

“Way to call me a player.” The younger whistles.

“I didn’t mean-”

“I know.” Kihyun laughs. “I’m just kidding.”

The older calms down from his startle, and chuckles along.

“Should we go inside already?” The younger asks. “Stop putting off the torture of spending the next hours sitting down in a train?”

Hyunwoo groans dramatically, letting his head hang forward. “So much for comfort.” He sighs. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The both of them gather their luggage and walk to the gates.

“Have you talked to your parents at all while we were in Gwangju?” Kihyun asks when they’re seated.

“I have.” The older nods, mindlessly going through his phone. “I told them I was gonna spend christmas with you, just didn’t tell them it was gonna be in Gwangju.” He chuckles. “I mostly text my mom. I called her yesterday though, to wish a merry christmas.” Adds the ravenette. Kihyun raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “While you were at your parent’s house. By yourself.”

The younger hums, and nods, shifting his gaze to look out the window. The mention of the older’s parents brings up a question Kihyun has been making himself, and it has a somewhat bitter taste in his lips as he voices it out. “What would your parents say about me?” He asks.

The other stares at him, hoping for clarification. Kihyun just stares back, and raises both eyebrows in expectancy. “Oh.” Hyunwoo says. “I don’t know. They’re pretty chill, overall. I don’t think they would care.”

“But… You’re an only child.” The younger says quietly.

Hyunwoo frowns, sensing Kihyun’s uneasiness. “Don’t.” He says, moving in his seat so he’ll be able to face the younger better. “Stop worrying about that.” He asks.

They stare at each other for a while, not saying anything.

Then the younger reaches out and runs his fingers through the ravenette’s hair, exposing his forehead. “Does it still hurt?” He asks.

Hyunwoo reaches up to touch the spot that’s still a little swollen and probably bruised, then takes Kihyun’s hand and holds it, dropping both onto his thigh. “If I bump it against something, yeah. But overall it’s fine.” He says.

“Outside you said you didn’t mind if people were looking at us.” The brunette remembers, speaking in a lower tone.

“I don’t.”

“Then can you kiss me?” Kihyun asks.

The older doesn’t give him the obvious answer verbally, but rather leans in to kiss him sweetly, and Kihyun feels his face heating up at just how nice and soft it is.

“Was that to your liking?” Hyunwoo asks teasingly.

“Shut up, I don’t know you.” The younger laughs, pushing him away.

Hyunwoo laughs as well, and leans back onto his seat with a smile on his face, looking around the carriage.

“Minhyuk’s saying hi.” Kihyun then tells him, typing away into his phone. “And Hoseok-hyung’s complaining about missing us already.” He drops the phone onto his lap. “If he gets me all emotional again I _swear…”_

“Tell Minhyukie I said hi back.” Hyunwoo says. “And don’t let Hoseok make you cry again.”

“I won’t.” The younger promises. “I don’t wanna chat with them right now though, ‘cause I get a little motion sick if I keep looking at the screen.” He says, locking the phone and putting it in his bag.

There’s a silence.

“What do we do now?” Asks the older.

“Sleep?”

“We’ve done that already.”

“And since when has that been a problem?”

“Good point.” Hyunwoo hums. “Do you wanna sleep though?”

“Not really.” Kihyun shakes his head. “Let’s just… do nothing. I’m not in the mood to do anything right now.” He says. “Do you wanna do something?”

“I wouldn’t mind making out a bit.” The older confesses, staring straight at the younger’s lips.

_“Hyung!”_

“What? You asked.”

“Unbelievable.” Kihyun shakes his head with a chuckle, turning to look out of the window. Hyunwoo assumes he won’t be getting what he wants, so he grabs his earbuds and scrolls down his music library on his phone.

It’s not that Kihyun’s opposed to making out. He’s actually very keen to the idea, but right now the thought of making even the simplest of movements sounds uncomfortable. So he just sits there, looks out of the window and enjoys the warmth of sunlight on his skin.

He rests his forehead against the window, and sighs as he watches the landscape. He reaches out blindly for Hyunwoo’s hand, which the older takes automatically, and they stay like that for a while.

Kihyun isn’t one to enjoy being alone with his own thoughts, and he’s reminded of it when he starts thinking about many little things that end up turning into the big topic that are his feelings for Hyunwoo. He asks himself many questions, and most revolve around if he’s actually in love with the older, and how they’re gonna deal with the whole ‘from the moment we step out of this apartment, _until we get back_ in, we’re dating for real’ business. Is that still valid? Does it really end when they cross the door frame again and go back to their old lives? Those questions have been in the back of his mind since Hyunwoo first kissed him at his parents’ house, but he’s been putting off worrying about them. Right now, as they’re only a few hours away from said door frame, he deems it a good time to think about it.

And does that matter, in the end? What if he’s not actually in love with Hyunwoo? How could he know anyways, if he’s never dated and fallen in love with said person before? He doesn’t think Yoongi counts, since he’s only ever considered it crush that lasted a few years. People say you know when it happens, that you’ll know when you’re in love, because that’s something you just feel and understand that it’s happening when it’s happening. But what if he doesn’t? What if he’s the exception to the rule? What if he doesn’t know and he’s messed himself up by thinking he’s in love when all he’s feeling is maybe infatuation and physical attraction?

But then he thinks about Hyunwoo waking up in the morning, when he wears his clothes inside out without realizing, when he wears _Kihyun’s_ clothes without realizing and stretches them out. When he breaks things, when they have arguments over something they both lost and then make up when they realize they just didn’t look in the right place. He thinks about the days where the older accidentally sleeps through his alarm, and Kihyun has to shake him awake, and how Hyunwoo kills the bugs that have the younger losing his mind.

They’re both insufferable. They annoy each other at times and just sit in a comfortable silence other times. They’ll make each other food, they’ll bicker, Kihyun will nag and Hyunwoo most of the time won’t complain.

How does he know, if he’s never fallen in love before?

The thing is; Kihyun does. He knows, and he knows, and knows and knows and knows. He just does.

Did he really just put himself at stake? Handed the older his heart and said “crush it if you don’t want it”?

“Why do you put up with me?” He asks. He turns to Hyunwoo to see him looking at him surprised.

“You put up with me too. It’s what people do.”

“Not all people.”

The older coughs. “Why do you put up with Minhyuk?” He asks.

“Because he’s my best friend...” Kihyun answers.

“See? It’s-”

“...and I love him.” He finishes.

Hyunwoo understands then, the implication of what he was about to say, how the meaning would change drastically now that Kihyun has added that. He can’t hint that Kihyun loves him or he’ll have to say something himself too.

“That’s what friends do.” He simply says. “We put up with each other.”

The younger nods slowly, suddenly very aware of the warmth of their intertwined fingers.

Kihyun knows it’s okay if he doesn’t know. But he thinks he does.

Because the little ridiculous twinge he feels when the older refers to him solely as a friend can’t just mean anything.

He rummages through his bag for his phone and earbuds, and puts them on. He looks back out of the window as Pillowtalk by Zayn plays to him, and just him. The older seems to be engrossed in whatever he’s listening to. They’re in two different places, even if next to each other.

If Hyunwoo senses his uneasiness, he doesn’t say anything.

The rest of the trip flies by. They listen to music until they accidentally fall asleep. When they wake back up, they’re arriving in Seoul.

When they get up to grab their luggage and walk out, they finally let each other’s hands go.

Kihyun doesn’t know why he’s scared, all of sudden, but he has a feeling he’s about to find out. He looks around the place, walking through the train station, their last stop before they go home and cross the doorframe.

“I met you at a train station.” He whispers to himself, but Hyunwoo hears him, and turns to look at him. Kihyun looks up to share the gaze, and they do that for a few seconds before the older breaks it.

“Trains and stations seem to be of some relevance to our relationship.” The ravenette comments.

Kihyun hums, and shifts a little closer to Hyunwoo, feeling cold. The older notices this, and puts his arm around him, over his shoulders. The younger feels eyes on them, but keeps quiet. Hyunwoo doesn’t care so he shouldn’t either.

But then as they’re standing outside waiting for their uber, the older’s arm still around him and both on their phones, someone says something.

It’s quick, so much Kihyun barely catches it.

But he does, he hears as a guy passing by snarls _“Fags”._

He feels Hyunwoo pulling away from him, his arm sliding off, and his heart drops. But the older’s not standing awkwardly next to him like Kihyun thought he would, no; He’s walking towards the guy, anger noticeable in his demeanor. The brunette moves fast, grabbing his arm and pulling him back so he won’t so something stupid, like for example beating someone up at Seoul Station.

“Hyunwoo, please. Come on, don’t do something you’ll regret later. It’s fine.” He keeps saying, pulling him back.

“What makes a piece of _shit_ like him think he can just say shit like that to people?” The older asks angrily, not trying to free himself from the younger once he realizes he might hurt him on accident.

“That’s straight privilege.” Kihyun says simply, a twinge of sadness in his tone. “That’s how it works.”

“Fuck that, I don’t like it.” He mutters angrily, now standing in front of Kihyun, back where they were waiting for the uber to arrive. His brows are drawn together, and his jaw in clenched. He looks threatening, but not towards the younger.

It’s kinda hot.

“I know. And that’s why I… That’s why I’m proud of you.” He mends, scolding himself mentally for almost saying too much. He brings a hand up and cups one side of his face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “I don’t understand how a stranger can see a guy your size and have the nerve to provoke. He’s probably got a death wish.” He laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

Hyunwoo leans in unexpectedly and kisses him right there. Kihyun makes a startled noise, but he doesn’t push him away. In fact, he wraps his arms around his neck, and lets him pull him closer with his own muscled arms around his torso. And they kiss ignoring the burn of a thousand stares on them.

When they pull away the older kisses him on the forehead before stepping aside and taking out his phone. Kihyun’s heart flutters, and he wonders if that was their last kiss.

“The car will be here soon.” Hyunwoo tells him, looking up. “In a minute, actually. Grab your things already.”

The shorter nods.

Soon they’re in the car, and it’s a half an hour ride to where they live. The drives makes small talk every once in a while, but mostly keeps silent, assuming they might be tired from the long trip. Both males are thankful for it.

Kihyun looks around out of the window, taking in the sight of Seoul all over again. Hyunwoo keeps quiet by his side, sometimes looking out of the window too, other times down at his phone. He steals a few glances at the brunette while he’s distracted, and feels a weird taste in his mouth at the sight of his face illuminated by the city lights. The younger turns and meets his gaze, and offers him a small smile. He smiles back, then looks back down at his phone.

They arrive at the building, and the driver offers to help them with their things, but the two male just brush him off.

“Feels so weird to be back.” Hyunwoo comments with an awkward chuckle.

“It does.” Kihyun sighs, slumping against the lift’s cushioned wall as the older presses the button to their floor. “Can’t wait to shower.” He says. “I’m claiming it first.”

“Okay. I’ll make us food while you’re showering, then.” The older laughs. “What do you feel like having?”

“Anything. Just anything you wanna make, I don’t care. I’m just hungry. You can even make instant ramen and I’ll owe you one.”

“Stop being so dramatic.” Hyunwoo laughs.

The lift stops, and they stare at the walls, expressions changing, as they open.

The silence that falls is almost deadly.

They walk out silently, and the ravenette gets down on his knees to rummage through his bag, looking for his keys.

“You’re sure you have it on you, aren’t you?” Kihyun asks. “Should’ve taken it out when we were in the car or something.”

“Was gonna do that, but I ended up forgetting. I do have it, though, don’t worry.” He mutters. Takes him a minute, but he does find the keys, just when Kihyun was considering offering his help.

The older stands back up and unlocks the door carefully, almost like it’s still so surreal for him that he’s back home. He goes to turn the doorknob, but he’s stopped.

“So…” Kihyun starts all of sudden, not meeting his eyes, and Hyunwoo looks up at him, waiting for him to continue. “This is where it ends, right?” He asks, scratching the hairs on his nape and shooting him a lopsided smile.

Hyunwoo’s heart doesn’t break, but it cracks, and he wonders if he’s the only one to hear it.

“Yeah.” He says, suddenly serious. “This is where it ends.” And opens the door, walking in.

Kihyun feels himself slipping through his own fingers, but instead of trying to save what’s left, he drops the rest of it to the floor, and walks in after Hyunwoo. They turn on the heater first thing, and hang their coats.

“I’ll call my mother to let her know I’m home safe, and text Hoseok and Minhyuk to let them know too.” The brunette says. “I’ll shower right after.”

“I’ll go wash my hands, and change.” Says the older. “Then I’ll go make us food.”

“Okay.” Kihyun says, dragging his things alone with him towards his bedroom. He closes the door behind himself, and takes off the various layers of clothing. He strips down to his underwear and shirt, and stands in the middle of the room, staring at the wall he shares with the older.

Is this it?

 

*****

 

“If you sing that song one more time I’m gonna kick your ass.” Minhyuk threatens, slapping Kihyun’s ass as he walks by him. “Give me a break.”

“Why do you hate it? It’s such a nice song.” The brunette asks, pouring the shots in the expresso.

“It would be a much nicer song if you didn’t sing it all day every day, hyung.” Jooheon says, elbow propped on the counter as he watches them move around.

“I still don’t know what song is that.” Changkyun bids in.

“What, really?” The brunette turns around, surprised. “That’s all they play in the radio.”

“It came out like two days ago and since then it won’t get out of my head.” Minhyuk groans. “And this ass here won’t stopping singing it. I bet he even knows the choreography.”

“And what if I do?” The brunette threatens before walking off to serve the drink to the costumer.

“And the song is…?” Changkyun asks, hoping they’ll reply before ripping each other’s heads off.

“It’s called Bboom Bboom.” Jooheon tells him. “And it’s made so you’ll never forget it.”

“Kinda wanna listen to it right now.” The youngest male comments, and his boyfriend is quick to shake his head.

“No, I know you, you’ll be humming it all day just like Kihyun-hyung. I can’t live with that.” He says.

“Stop being mean, I have my right to listen to it.”

“Guys, I’m off.” Kihyun says when he returns, untying his apron.

“Already, hyung? Did you come in earlier today too?” Jooheon asks.

“He’s gonna go to the book store so he and hyung can walk home together.” Minhyuk explains, shooting the other two a _‘Let’s not talk about it’_ look while Kihyun has his back to them.

“It’s the third time this week.” Changkyun whispers to the man on the other side of the counter, wiping the surface with a cloth. Jooheon raises his eyebrows.

“Okay, I’m leaving. You can stop whispering behind my back now.” The brunette says. “Later, losers.” He waves, and leaves through the back door, all wrapped up to fight the cold.

Since they’ve returned, things mostly went back to how they were before. They adapted back to their work hours rather easily, and their dynamics changed in a way, meaning they now act as friends rather than awkward acquaintances. Hyunwoo joined Kihyun, Minhyuk and Naomi during New Years, the four of them getting wasted and barely being able to coherently communicate to go home. Kihyun and Minhyuk got thrown around a lot by a drunk Hyunwoo.

The main change is that Kihyun sometimes arrives earlier so he can also leave early and go to the bookstore so he and Hyunwoo can go home together, sometimes taking beverages with him. And the older male visits the café more often than not when he’s not working. They see it as a thing friends do, and don’t mind the fact they’re always trying to be around the other whenever possible. Maybe deep down both of them know if that’s really what it is.

Though any trace of a relationship having ever existed between them was erased, and even though Minhyuk often confronts Kihyun about it, the two never mention what they had around each other. Acting as if they’re completely fine like that, and that’s how they want to remain.

Even though sometimes on his day offs Kihyun comes over and sits on the floor with a book on his lap, claiming he didn’t wanna be home alone, and Hyunwoo takes pictures of him nose deep in the book when he’s not paying attention, looking soft with a thick sweater on, unstyled hair and a hardcover novel in hands. And the days where Kihyun makes him drinks and says Minhyuk sent them, even if Hyunwoo secretly knows that’s not true.

“Hello.” He greets as he enters the bookshop, waving a Jaebum — who hasn’t completely warmed up to him yet —  and Jinyoung — who’s very nice to him. “How’s 2018 treating you all?” He asks with a smile.

“You were here yesterday.” Jaebum points out, and Jinyoung waves him off.

“Just fine. A lot like 2017 actually. Hopefully it’ll be better though.” The younger replies with a smile.

“Where’s hyung?” Kihyun asks.

“He just got inside to change, actually.” Jinyoung says. “He’ll be out in a few.”

The brunette nods with a kind smile, and looks around as he waits, not wanting to submit the always nice Jinyoung into an awkward conversation. He’s also trying to run away from Jaebum’s scowls. He’s lucky he’s older than the guy, or else he’s sure he’d already have been snapped at.

He wonders what’s up with him.

The place is already pretty familiar to Kihyun by now, and he could sneak into the back room and knock to let Hyunwoo know he’s here, but he doesn’t want to do something that might trigger an awkward tension. He can do without the awkwardness, any day.

“Hey!” The familiar voice calls, and Kihyun turns around with smiling eyes. “You didn’t tell me you were coming today.”

“As if he needs to, hyung. He comes almost every day.” Jaebum comments, and Kihyun’s eyes smile a little less.

“Why don’t you go check if the books ran away or something?” Jinyoung sneers, swatting a hand at the taller male. He rolls his eyes but leaves.

“Should I have said something? Sorry.” Kihyun laughs. “I do come almost every day.” He shrugs.

“I almost left earlier today. It would’ve been a waste of your time to come if I had already left.” The older explains, shoving his hands on his pocket.

“Oh.” The younger isn’t sure what to say. He should have probably texted to let him know.

“But you didn’t leave because you thought maybe he’d come. So I’d say it worked out pretty fine.” Jinyoung comments as he passes by, with a smile, as he guides a customer to the cashier.

The younger shifts his gaze away from the other male to shoot Hyunwoo a questioning look. The older just shrugs.

“Let’s go.” He says, elbowing Kihyun softly, who almost loses his balance due to the bigger man’s idea of ‘softly’ and laughs.

They wave goodbye to the the older’s colleagues, and walk out. The walk is silent, and the ride in the subway is just as silent. Thankfully not an awkward silence, but a ‘I’ve had to talk to people all day and would like not to have to do it again for a few hours’ silence. The only interactions they make are silent ones. Like when the carriage shakes or stops abruptly and Kihyun stumbles over, and Hyunwoo always holds him and keeps him from falling against someone or the floor, having a hand around his arm or an arm around his waist, depending on the amount of people in the train. Or the simple taps Kihyun gives on the older’s shoulder to let him know he’s blocking someone’s way.

When they get home, it’s another half an hour of silence, or even just one syllable words directed at each other, until they become social once again. The days repeat each other, and it’s pretty much like it was before christmas, when they were just awkward roommates who didn’t know each other very well. The awkward part is now not included anymore, and they know each other well. At least now Kihyun can claim to know Hyunwoo more than Jooheon does.

There’s a day in which Kihyun gets home after Hyunwoo does, more specifically on the first day of the year, when a hungover customer got annoyed and talked shit about Changkyun as loud as he could, and Kihyun went off at the customer without another thought, which led to a serie of occurrences he’d like to never remember again. He’d gotten home with a scowl and an extremely tired expression, and Hyunwoo hadn’t asked anything, just made him dinner and let him sulk on the couch next to him as they watched TV together. Then he watched as the younger jumped up and turned off the TV, startling him, and started going off about what happened and how mad he was at the customer's behaviour.

And in the middle of the night, around 2AM, he was awaken by music playing and the sound of soft thuds that sounded like someone pacing around. And he stands worried, only to open the door and find Kihyun jumping around to the sound of a song from a playlist Minhyuk had shared with him. He stood there, watching for a few moments until he cleared his throat and Kihyun turned to him, startled, stopping in his tracks. And they stared at each other for a few moments until Hyunwoo just walked closer and hugged the younger against him.

Kihyun hugged him tightly, and let himself tear up slightly, feeling arm and his heart ached. He was stressed, and confused, and he was worried about Changkyun, and his job, and his feelings that didn’t seem to want to go away even though he and Hyunwoo didn’t have anything anymore. So they hugged for some time, to the sound of Knee Socks by Arctic Monkeys, until the songs changed, again and again, and they let go of each other.

 

> _“It is decreed that the greatest pain_
> 
> _always has been and always will be_
> 
> _not being able to give love to someone you love_
> 
> _(...)_
> 
> _Only one thing is forbidden:_
> 
> _to love without love.”_
> 
> _(_ _Mello, 1964)_

 

And they didn’t mention it again. It was like an unspoken agreement, to which both stayed loyal to.

Joshua did end up moving to Seoul, and Kihyun went over to his new place and helped him move in, brought him lunch, and met his new roommate Jeonghan.

They had another opportunity to meet up after Joshua had been settled in the big Seoul, and they met up at a Starbucks to catch up. They have a good time together, and Kihyun feels relieved they can be friends now, after all that awkward stuff happening between them. He had missed the younger male more than he thought he did. His calming presence was more than needed in Kihyun’s life. Joshua tells him about his new temporary job at a gift shop, and about his cute coworker with a very charming smile that contrasts with the way he flusters so easily. ‘He’s just a very tall and kinda built college kid’ he had said, and the small smile he had on his lips made Kihyun relieved to know he wasn’t in the younger’s mind anymore.

“Hyung!” Kihyun calls as he’s calling the japanese food place to have takeout on a Sunday night. “Tuna or salmon?!” He yells.

“Salmon!” Hyunwoo calls back from the bathroom, voice muffled by the closed door and the water. Luckily Kihyun has great hearing.

The night’s been a bit warmer than the previous ones, which only means a few degrees higher, but it’s enough for them. They had gone out together to pick up groceries, and now they were gonna settle for staying in and having takeout for dinner. A lazy night among many others.

They sometimes acted as if they were older than they actually were.

Kihyun walks into the bathroom to wash his hands, and the ravenette doesn’t say anything since that’s normal for them by now. He washes his hands and looks up at the mirror and notices it’s foggy due to the steam from the water. He stares at it for a few seconds, then writes his name on the surface with his finger, snickering to himself as he does so. He proceeds to write Hyunwoo’s name, and then a little house between them.

He realizes a little too late that it looks like something else, not exactly what he was going for. Consciously at least. So he just erases it all with his hand and uses his breath to create steam again, and writes down a “hi” on it before walking out and closing the door.

He sits down on the couch as he waits for the food to arrive and Hyunwoo to be done, the TV on but he’s on his phone backreading a conversation between Hoseok and Minhyuk in their group chat. They rarely ever talk to each other in private chats anymore, unless it’s something the third part can’t know, like a surprise party, a present, or something of the sort. Even texts like ‘I’m gonna be a little late for work today’ that Minhyuk is the one to send most of the time, are sent to the group chat.

He finally replies, noticing the two of them were waiting for him so that they could have a conversation together.

They do have a conversation. And it’s mainly composed of Hoseok making unnecessary suspense and then finally saying what he had to say, preceded by both Kihyun and Minhyuk flooding the chat with keysmash and emojis, and Hoseok joining them soon after.

And when Hyunwoo walks out of the bathroom fully clothed, glasses on, and confused by how jittery and smiley Kihyun is, he’s almost tackled down by the younger as soon as he sees him, and manages to balance their weight so they don’t fall.

“Wow, what the hell?” He laughs, brows furrowed.

Kihyun pulls away from him and smiles so wide his face hurts.

“Hoseok-hyung and Hyungwon are coming to live in Seoul!” He exclaims, and for the first time since they arrived, he feels vivid.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title to this chapter: the one in which everyone hates me lmao  
> bYE  
> and btw [this moodboard](https://twitter.com/_hyunowo/status/1012022297975238659) gives me all the right vibes about this fic ;-; this is exactly what im going for ok
> 
> twitter: [@DoctorFatCat](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat)  
> curious cat: [@DoctorFatCat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat)


	12. Fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So give me all you’ve got,  
>  I can take it  
>  We walked alone in your city lights  
>  Did you make it?  
>  We lit the fire and it’s burning bright  
>  Did you take it?  
>  Kissed all the boys in your city lights  
>  Did you make it?  
>  Left all the stars in your city nights  
>  _Can you fake it?_  
>  _I lost my way in your city lights_  
>  Clutching me,  
>  We stole the fire  
>  And it’s burning bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna personally thank Bethany (aka [betamaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betamaz) here on ao3) because when I was freaking out about how to describe an E-Mart since I have never been to one, she walked up to both an E-Mart and a 7/11 to take pictures and record some clips of them for me. She's an angel and she deserves the world, please check out her zombie apocalypse fic <3  
> -  
> So here it is, the last one  
> It's over 15k words long  
> Enjoy

 

 

> I laid everything down  
>  I have nothing to lose  
>  I’m ready, from now on, fight for love

 

“You can’t be telling me that after all that, which I didn’t even witness, I can just _tell_ it was a mess, the two of you just went back to just being roommates? You’re joking.” Joshua says, slamming his hand down on the couch. “That doesn’t make sense! Why be so complicated if you like each other, hyung?! I told you I liked you! Simple as that.”

Kihyun feels his face heating up at the memory of Joshua confessing to him. “I don’t know. It just happened and we seem to be going well like that. It’s not awkward, we get along well, actually.”

“Because you’re in love!” The younger insists. The brunette raises his eyebrows. This is the first time he’s seen Joshua lose his cool.

“It’s okay. Anyway, it’s too late now to even change anything. It’s fine.” He says with an uninterested shrug. He hopes to be giving off the right vibe, because on the inside, he’s not all that uninterested. “Let’s talk about that guy you have a crush on.” He suggest, popping shrimp chips in his mouth.

The younger’s face turns red in a matter of seconds. “W-what? I don’t have a crush.” He waves his hand, trying to look incredulous. “He’s a friend.”

“He totally has a crush.” Jeonghan comments as he’s hanging his coat, having just arrived at their flat. “You should see how he talks about him all day, hyung. _‘Mingyu helped a little kid put on a hat today.’ ‘Mingyu-yah bought me a muffin from the café down the street during lunch’ ‘Mingyu breathed next to me, oh!’”_ He says in a dramatic voice, blinking his eyes fast and intertwining his fingers as he jumps up and down like a little girl.

“I do _not_ do that!” Joshua stands. “Stop that!”

Kihyun is not very good at muffling his laughter.

“Sure. And I don’t drool all over Son Gain.” The blond male scoffs, putting a strand of hair behind his ear. Kihyun remembers him mentioning he used to have long hair. And he’s seen pictures, but it’s hard to imagine that nowadays with how used he is to see him like this. Jeonghan is pretty handsome, he has to admit. And he and Joshua get along pretty well, even if the blond is a little snarky like himself. “You should just ask him out.” He says.

“Maybe I will!” The other male snaps, crossing his arms grumpily, then widening his eyes when he notices what he’s just said.

Kihyun snorts. “Yeah, right. You totally don’t have a crush.” He says. “And I have to go!” He exclaims as he sees the time on his phone. “Me and hyung have to go out today to buy birthday presents for Changkyunie and Hyungwon.” The brunette says, hugging Joshua briefly. “Sorry for being so abrupt.” He apologizes as he goes to put on his shoes and coat. Jeonghan giggles. “Hyungwon’s birthday is in six days already, and they’ll be arriving in two! So much is happening and the year’s barely begun. Jesus christ.” He rambles on as he fights his own mitts.

“Bye, hyung. Good luck with the presents.” The blond says with an amused smile says.

“Thank you, I’m hoping I’ll have good luck, yeah.” He laughs, wrapping the scarf around his neck.

“Be safe.” Joshua says, walking him to the door. “Talk to you later!”

“See you later! Good luck with that Mingyu guy!” He says before the lift’s doors close, catching the beginning of Joshua’s indignant sound and Jeonghan’s bark of laughter.

He rushes. The distance between Joshua’s place and Hyunwoo’s work is roughly the same distance from his own place and his Café, but the younger lives in the opposite direction. He knows he has enough time to get there before Hyunwoo’s done, but he’s very aware of how the world conspires against him when he’s in a rush, so he’s not joking around here.

He had taken the day off from work today. Tuesdays aren’t very busy days, and he needed to be away from the stress that he had been in for the past few days. This whole emotional thing, the fact Hoseok and Hyungwon are moving to Seoul, the incident with Changkyun a week ago, and every little thing that happens. Everything summed up together are taking a toll on him like crazy.

“Good afternoon.” He says calmly as he walks into the bookshop. Neither Jinyoung and Hyunwoo are around, but Jaebum is, and he nods towards Kihyun, seeming to be in a better humor than usual. “Hey.” He approaches quietly. “Is hyung around?”

The taller clears his throat. “He’s helping Jinyoung in the stock, so he’ll be off a few minutes later.” He explains, recoiling the children’s books from the small colourful table to pile them up and put them back in their shelf. Kihyun trails behind, not sure what to do.

“Okay, thank you.” He says, watching as the other puts the books in their respective places. He wouldn’t have expected Jaebum to be so meticulous and careful, but he seems to be good at what he does here.

“You going out with hyung today, huh?” He asks, seemingly trying to make small talk.

Kihyun perks up. “Oh, yeah! We’re going out to buy birthday presents to our friends.” He says. “Changkyun-ah’s birthday is on the 26th, and Hyungwon’s on the 15th.” He says.

“Nice.” He says without much humor, still concentrating on the book. Then he glances at Kihyun as he says. “My birthday’s also in January.” He smiles minimally. Kihyun notices all of sudden he’s in fact very handsome.

“Oh? When is it?” He asks politely.

“It was on the sixth.” He chuckles.

“What? Hyunwoo didn’t tell me. I was here on the sixth.” He objects.

“It’s okay.” The younger shrugs, eyebrow twitching at the lack of honorific.

“Well. Happy birthday anyway.” Kihyun smiles awkwardly.

“Thank you, Kihyun-ssi.” Jaebum says, then he’s done with the books, and turns to him, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So… You and hyungie are pretty close, huh?”

“We are.” He nods. “We’re good friends, I like him a lot.” He smiles.

“Just friends?” He asks, an raised eyebrow. “Hyung seems to like like you a lot, you know?”

Kihyun squints. “Why are you saying that? We’re friends.” He says, feeling self aware all of sudden. Jaebum looks a bit uncomfortable to be talking about this.

“He has a picture of you as his phone’s background.” He stresses.

“What’s the big deal? I’ve had pictures of friends as my lockscreen before.” The older crosses his arms.

Jaebum scoffs. “No, Kihyun-ssi. You don’t get it. See, I’ve known hyung for several years. He’s had his lockscreen and homescreen set on the default that comes with the phone since forever. He’s never been bothered enough to change it. I’ve never seen him with a different one until he came back from that christmas trip with _you._ And all of sudden you’re his lockscreen.” He pauses. “It’s not characteristic of Hyunwoo-hyung to do these kind of things.”

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me all of this.” The shorter male confronts him, feeling his throat closing up with the way his heart squeezes into itself. “What do you want me to say, Jaebum-ah?”

“I just want to make sure you realize that for some reason you’re really important to him. So don’t mess up, don’t disappoint him.” He clears up.

“What makes you think I’m the one who’s gonna disappoint someone here?”

“That’s not what I mean.” Jaebum sighs, the look in his eyes softer. “I mean, I know he cares about you, but how can I know if you feel the same way?”

Kihyun understands. “You should just see the way I look at him. I’ve been told it’s pretty obvious.” He laughs bitterly, turning at the sound of someone walking in, and noticing Jinyoung and Hyunwoo walking out of the stock room. “Hey!” He says, waving and pretending the conversation with Jaebum never happened.

“Kihyunie.” The ravenette says. “When did you get here? Have I made you wait?” Hyunwoo approaches, putting a gentle hand on his back.

“Hey hyung.” Jinyoung smiles.

“Hello.” Kihyun bows his head briefly. “I just got here. Jaebum-ah was making me company.” He explains, motioning towards the male next to him.

Hyunwoo looks surprised, but manages to mask it the next second, smiling. Jinyoung just smiles at his friend.

“I’ll be ready in a few, then we can go.” The oldest says, and the brunette nods. “Come on.” He motions, and Kihyun follows him to the back room.

The silence remains between the remaining two males, until Jinyoung speak up.

“Are they the only ones who don’t realize the way they look at each other?” He asks quietly.

Jaebum hums. “Maybe they are aware of it.” He suggests. The younger nods his head slowly with a smile, then walks away. The other follows him with his eyes, and wonders if Jinyoung is aware of the way Jaebum himself looks at him.

Kihyun follows Hyunwoo quietly, and tries not to watch as he changes from his work clothes into warmer ones. They go out to the subway station side by side, their arms brushing together, hands in their pockets or arms crossed so they won’t have to think about maybe holding hands.

The day passes by easily. Their trip to the shopping mall is enough for them to find gifts for both Changkyun and Hyungwon. For the former, Kihyun buys him a scented candle, while Hyunwoo buys him a simple hoodie, trusting the brunette that their youngest friend will like it. Hyungwon’s present shows to be a more difficult task, but in the end they buy something together; a scarf.

“I think it’s a good gift.” The younger says as they’re riding the subway back home. “I mean, what else would we give him? A book? What do actors even like?” He asks, mostly to himself.

“He’ll like the scarf.” The ravenette says with a warming smile. “I bet the both of them are gonna _love_ the ‘housewarming gifts’ you bought them.” He adds with sarcasm in his tone.

“Don’t say it like that.” Kihyun laughs. “The socks I bought are great.” He says

After buying Hyungwon’s scarf, the younger male had spotted socks with a ridiculously fancy pattern, and the Gucci symbol all around it. He’d found it too comic not to buy it, and to top it off he bought Hoseok pink fluffy [ socks ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a1/b9/a4/a1b9a46c8495149d39c61e38dfb0dcea--fluffy-socks-fluffy-bed.jpg) to match Hyungwon’s ridiculous ones. He laughed with the mental image of them receiving the gifts.

Then shushed Hyunwoo as he bought himself fluffy baby blue [ socks ](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1iMLAblDH8KJjSszcq6zDTFXa3/Coral-Fleece-Warm-Socks-Women-Candy-Color-Autumn-Winter-Home-Floor-Ankle-Socks-Girls-Soft-Thick.jpg), claiming his feet get cold at night. The older didn’t try to argue with him, but smiled to himself as he pictured Kihyun wearing them, how cute he’d look.

Kihyun then decided Minhyuk should get fluffy socks as well, so they would match, and bought him [ lilac ones ](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41vpRrRcQeL.jpg), so they’d match. He can already picture the ridiculous image of the three of them gathered — probably at Minhyuk’s place since he lives alone — watching some show together. They might even watch Anpanman.

He’s so excited about having the three of them reunited again.

“You’re smiling.” Hyunwoo points out, smiling as well.

“Oh! Yeah I’m picturing their faces when they get the presents.” He laughs. “It’s gonna be so fun to have hyung back here.” He sighs. “And Hyungwon too. He’ll have to deal with Minhyuk too now.” He snickers.

“The three of you are gonna have fun.” The older male agrees, brushing a strand of hair away from Kihyun’s eyes, then he sits back with a smile, eyes smiling along.

The younger stares at him, still smiling softly, and wondering.

Hyunwoo still has him as a lockscreen picture for some reason. It’s been two weeks since they ended what they had, and yet he hasn’t changed it. It shouldn’t mean anything, really. But Jaebum is right. This is Hyunwoo, not just anyone else. And he doesn’t do stuff _just because._

He notices he’s got some stubble, and almost reaches out to feel it, then realizes he shouldn’t. He smiles one more time and then looks down into the bags.

They’re home, finally, and Kihyun goes to put the presents they bought in his room, somewhere in his closet. He walks out when the older is in the kitchen looking for a snack, since they had already had dinner out when looking for the presents. The younger grabs himself some banana milk, and walks off to the living room with the packet of blue fluffy socks in hands.

Kihyun opens the socks after turning the TV on, mostly to fill in the silence. While he’s fumbling with them, feeling how soft they are, Hyunwoo sits next to him, munching on honey butter chips, and watches as he rubs the soft fabric on his face.

“You’re weird.” He mentions.

 _“Feel_ this.” Kihyun insists, offering the socks for the other to touch. The ravenette stands out a hand and touches it, eyebrows raising.

“Woah. Okay, you’re right, this is really soft.” He says, then immediately goes for more chips. The younger snorts.

He pulls the hem of the pants’ legs up and starts putting the socks on, giggling to himself as he does. “Feels funny. It’s like putting a cloud on your feet.”

“You done that before?” The older teases.

“Don’t mock me. You don’t have cute socks, therefore I have the upper hand.” He blows a raspberry at him, and rests back on the couch, sipping on the banana milk as he wiggles his toes, appreciating the sight of his socked feet. “I feel precious.” He says sarcastically, laughing at himself.

“You are.” Hyunwoo says, no actual bite in his voice.

The younger male laughs, and pushes on his arm playfully, face heating up. “Shut up.” He says, and the older doesn’t reply, just keeps calmly eating his chips. “Hey, how do you feel about getting new light fixtures?” Kihyun asks, criss-crossing his legs, mindlessly playing with the soft fabric of the socks with his unoccupied hand.

“For the living room?”

“I don’t like just the bulb. It looks too bland.” He explains, “Like, over here, there, and there in the kitchen, maybe.” He points to where he’s referring, even though those are the only spots with light bulbs that are visible from the couch.

“If we do that won’t we have to get fixtures for the bedrooms and bathroom?” Hyunwoo asks.

“No…?” Answers the brunette, not exactly firm on his answer. He tugs on his earlobe. “Why?”

“‘Cause I know you and you know you as well. You’re gonna get bothered that the lighting outside looks different from the one in the other rooms.”

“Do you want a fixture in your bedroom though?”

“I wouldn’t mind it? It’s just decorative. As long as it’s not going to make my life more complicated.” He shrugs.

“I’ll call the landlord then.” Kihyun mumbles, looking at the TV. “Then we can go to Ikea see if we find some nice fixtures.”

“Let’s be minimalistic, not buy a chandelier or something.”

“What do you take me for?” The younger laughs lightly.

“I don’t _take_ you for anything. I live with you.” He says with a smile. “Don’t get too excited about the shiny things.”

“I’ll do what I want.” Kihyun states, and reaches for chips as well.

There’s a moment of silence in which they stare at the screen, sitting side by side with the younger leaning onto the ravenette, their shoulders pressed together.

“...What is this that we’re watching?” Hyunwoo asks with a frown as the guy on TV starts talking about the anatomy or worms.

“I have no idea.” Says the shorter, and finds the remote to swap the channel.

 

*****

 

The taste is bitter in his mouth. It’s bitter and it makes his skin crawl and he doesn’t like it. Which is precisely why he has to do it. If there’s a reason why he should go and finish what he just started, it’s the bitter taste in his mouth that shouldn’t be there in the first place. It shouldn’t be a thing, but it is, and Kihyun is gonna end it now.

He clutches the phone in hands, and sighs as he waits for his stop. The train trembles a little, and Kihyun feels sympathetic of it. He texts and waits.

 _hey whats up?_ The answer comes, and the brunette cleans his throat.

 _If I do something dumb_ _  
_ _Will you still love me?_ He texts back.

He watches as the bubble with the three dots appears, indicating he’s getting an answer soon.

 _obviously_ _  
_ _as if you doing dumb stuff is news_

Kihyun snorts.

_Can i still come crying to you if i need to then?_

That text seems to be worrying enough for him to call, which he does.

 _“Kihyun, what’s going on?”_ He questions, worry clear in his voice. _“Where are you? You told me you were gonna pick Hyunwoo up, but he texted me a few minutes ago ‘cause you weren’t answering your phone. Why did you lie?”_

“I’m fine.” He chuckles. “I’m just gonna be dumb and act like the hero I’m not.”

_“Are you putting your life at risk for a dumb cause?”_

“I’m not you.”

_“Offended.”_

“It’s not a dumb cause, just a dumb me.”

_“Once again, what’s new?”_

“I have to go now.” The younger says quietly. “I’ll call you when I’m done.”

_“Okay. Take care, whatever it is. Please.”_

“I will. Thank you, Minhyuk-hyung.” Kihyun’s smile is small as he says it. Weird, but comfortable.

There’s a pause before the other replies. _“You’re welcome Kihyun-ah. Love you. Bye.”_ And he hangs up.

If everything goes down to ashes, in the end he still has Minhyuk to go crying to. And soon, they’ll have Hoseok as well.

Just hold on for a little longer. Less than two days now.

The train stalls, and it’s his stop. He hurries just to make sure he’ll make it, and crosses the door with a minute to spare.

Anyang. Gyeonggi Province. Population of approximately 600,000 people. The 20th largest city in South Korean.

And home of the Lee and Shin, Hoseok’s parents.

A home which Kihyun is about to visit. Or confront. Whatever you may call it.

He walks to the place instead of getting a cab or an uber. He’s too nervous, and walking seems to be a good way to calm down as he goes there. It’s not very far away anyway, he can do with the extra effort if it means he won’t choke on his words.

Right foot, left foot, right foot. He’s doing fine, he’s okay. He’s not gonna freak out.

Puppies, kittens, Dohyun, that baby picture of Jooheon where he’s wearing the yellow shirt, sweet and sour chicken, his new blue fluffy socks that make Hyunwoo grin at him whenever he wears them even if he doesn’t realize he’s doing it.

Hyunwoo.

 _C’mon, Kihyun, is this really the time to think about this?_ He thinks to himself. But he has to admit, no matter to who, that thinking about Hyunwoo calms him down somehow. Like thinking he’d be okay at that awkward family party because his mom would be there when he was seven. Thinking that by the end of the day Hyunwoo will be waiting for him at home, accepting him no matter his state, not asking questions because he knows Kihyun will talk if he needs to, making him tea and hanging around so he’ll know he’s there.

He realizes that, after all, if it doesn’t happen for them to be together, he won’t be losing Hyunwoo. Not really. He’ll still have a friend, a roommate who cares about him and a home in someone. If he has to end up moving on, getting a confirmation that it’s really over between them, then he’ll learn how to cope. And he’ll learn to love Hyunwoo as a friend, and be happy like that.

It’s with that newfound peace in coming into terms with his situation that Kihyun approaches the building. It’s with the confidence the reassurance that he’ll be okay has given him that he knocks on the front door of the apartment, and he breathes in as he remembers this might be the last time he’ll ever be coming here. That is, if things don’t go amazing.

Mrs. Shin opens the door, and she smiles when she sees him. Kihyun bows and smiles back, but not wide, and not completely honest. She hugs him, and invites him in. He goes in, but doesn’t sit, and doesn’t let her move to go make him tea or something else. He moves to get a dining chair and pulls it so she can sit, telling her he won’t stay for long, but has something to say.

Following Kihyun’s request, she goes to call Mr. Lee and ask him to come outside to hear whatever it is he has to say. And he stands by his wife’s chair, curious to what this boy he’s known since he was a baby has to say.

“Eomani, Abeoji.” He breathes in, and looks at them, his fingers trembling. He didn’t even take his shoes off, knowing he can’t stay after he says it.

“Are you okay, son? You seem restless.” Mr. Lee comments, and his wife nods in agreement.

“I’m sorry in advance if this sounds disrespectful but…” He swallows. “Hoseok-hyung spent Christmas with me and my family. We’ve met his boyfriend. He’s lovely.” He chuckles to himself. “He’s great, and he makes Hoseok really happy. It makes me truly happy that hyung’s found someone like him.” He raises a finger when Mrs. Shin is about to speak. “Sorry, but please let me finish.” He asks, and she frowns, but stays silent. “That’s not what I’m here for though, not quite.

“I’m so disappointed! You’ve both known me since I was very little, I’ve always seen the both of you as my second family. I never thought I’d have to do this I’m doing now. I never thought I’d be so disappointed in people I’ve considered my family before. You’ve taken me in when my actual family didn’t want anything to do with me. Eomani you held me, and you said it was okay and that they’d come around. _You_ were the one to say it was okay being who I _am!”_ He sighs, shakily. He might cry, but it’s okay. It’s painful enough that he doesn’t feel bad about crying. “My hyung cares about his family so strongly, and knowing he’s not welcome here anymore has broken his heart, and honestly mine too. He’s lucky to have found someone. He’s lucky he’s happy like that. I myself haven’t been able to find that someone yet. I’ve never had that, but when your son does, this is what you _do?”_ A silent tear falls, but it’s almost like his eyes are crying by themselves. “I expected better, I truly did.

“That’s why I’ve come to say you won’t be hearing from me anymore either.” He stares at them, and his hands shake even harder. They both look honestly heartbroken, like they don’t want to lose another son. But it just fuels Kihyun, how in their eyes they think they’ve ‘lost’ Hoseok. And he can’t stop. “I’m committing the same crime as Hoseok-hyung. We’re the same. I’m not different from him.” He laughs bitterly. “The same disgusting thing he’s doing, _I’m doing it too._ And the irony this time is that he’s welcome in our house. He’s welcome in my family, even though I myself wasn’t before. They’ve come around, like you said they’d do, eomani. And I had hoped this wouldn’t have had to happen after what I’ve been through when you’ve been there for me then. But I guess I was wrong.” He shrugs, then bows, adjusting his coat.

“This is all I wanted to say. You won’t be hearing from me anymore.” He explains, reaching for the door.

“Kihyun-ah, wait. You can’t do this.” Mrs. Shin stands, walking closer to him. “Don’t talk nonsense.” He lets out a little laugh, and it sounds desperate.

“I’m sorry. If you can’t accept your own son, then you can’t accept me either. We’re committing the same sin.” He says, and it hurts to call it that, when he knows it’s not a sin to love who he loves, but that’s how they seem to see it. “I’m sorry for being a sinner in your eyes. I hope you have a good life.” He opens the door and leaves, ignoring Hoseok’s mother voice asking him to wait, for them to talk it out. He goes down the stairs, not wanting to wait for the lift and standing a chance on them catching up to him. He’s not here to talk.

He came to be heard. He’s been keeping thoughts inside for too long. His new year’s resolution was to love himself better, and he’s gonna do that.

The journey back is a blur. He’s in conflict with his feelings, and calls Minhyuk the second he steps foot on Seoul Station. He’s glad to find out Minhyuk’s at his place, waiting for him to come home like the best friend he’s always been.

And Kihyun goes home, almost frantically moving around as he waits in the cab, and hands him the money. And he opens the door to his flat to find Hyunwoo on the couch, eating an apple, and shooting him a surprised look when he practically barges into his own home.

He breathes heavily, looking around, trying to spot a blond head around. He finally finds it, Minhyuk walks out of the kitchen to see what the whole commotion is about, and it’s a few seconds before Kihyun’s in his arms, squeezing the life out of him in desperate need for comfort.

Minhyuk holds him without asking anything, just chuckling and hugging him back. “It’s okay.” He says with his raspy calm voice. “You’re okay. You’re gonna be fine.” The deep tone of his voice is enough for his chest to vibrate as he lets out the words, and it has Kihyun trusting him without question. “It’s okay, Kihyun-ah.”

“I’ll get him some water.” Hyunwoo says quietly, walking past them, and Kihyun feels Minhyuk nodding.

He controls his breathing, and eventually calms down.

And realizes as long as he has this, he’s okay.

 

*****

 

“They’ll be here at any minute.” Minhyuk jumps up and down. “I’m so excited.”

“Hyung, we heard it the first five times you said that.” Changkyun laughs. “You’re gonna get dizzy if you keep jumping around like that.”

“What if they don’t like the place? What if we didn’t decorate it well enough?” Kihyun runs his hands over his hair.

“You facetimed them the place while we were there. Hyung, it’ll be okay. Please stop freaking out, both of you.” Jooheon sighs, rolling his eyes and wrapping an arm around Kihyun’s shoulders. “Shownu-hyung, help me here?”

“Hm?” Hyunwoo looks up from the bagel he’s been munching on, eyes wide like a deer caughts in the headlights. “Oh, sorry.”

Kihyun snorts, and Changkyun giggles behind him. “That sure is helping me calm down.” The brunette says. “Cutie.”

The taller cleans his throat. “Thanks.” He brings in his shoulders. “Don’t worry. Jooheon’s right, it’s gonna be okay.”

“It’s gonna be perfect.” Minhyuk smiles wide. “We’ll have hyung around all the time just like when we were teenagers. This is too good.”

“Look at our token straight hyung.” Changkyun snorts.

“Is that my new nickname?” Minhyuk asks, hands on his hips.

“Until you stop being straight, yeah.” Kihyun mumbles, looking around in hopes he’ll catch Hoseok and Hyungwon walking towards them at any moment.

The blond snorts. “We’ll see.”

They wait around for a moment, mumbling about daily occurrences that no one really cares about much. Hyunwoo focuses on finishing the bagel.

“How long have we been waiting, feels like _forever.”_ Jooheon whines, and his boyfriend coos, walking closer to him and wrapping his arms around his neck, using a hand against the side of his face to press their cheeks against each other.

“Hyung, you really are the maknae of the group.” He laughs.

Jooheon looks bewildered, but he doesn’t fight it. Minhyuk smiles at them, toothy and content.

“I wish Naomi could’ve been here.” He pouts. “I feel lonely around you guys.”

“Whipped.” Kihyun mumbles, making Hyunwoo snicker and elbow him. The brunette looks up and him and rolls his eyes with a smirk.

“I heard that.” The blond male accuses, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I don’t deserve this bullying.”

“You do.” Kihyun says back.

“You do.” Jooheon agrees, bringing his arm to softly lace it around Changkyun’s waist.

“I think that’s their train.” The youngest points out, peeling his cheek off Jooheon’s. “Did he text any of you?” He looks towards the two best friends bickering by his side.

Both go to immediately grab their phones. “He didn’t text me, did he text you?” Kihyun asks, looking up at Minhyuk, who shakes his head.

“Might be asleep.” The blond snorts, sighing as they watch as people slowly start walking out of the carriages. And soon enough, two familiar handsome faces stand out amidst the other people. “Hyung!” Minhyuk yells out, waving his arms.

“Told you we didn’t need a sign.” Kihyun says to Hyunwoo, arms crossed in amusement. “Haven’t needed one since I met Minhyukie.”

“Isn’t it a bit offensive they’re so good looking and they’re dating each other?” Jooheon frowns, a bit put off by seeing both males in person finally, even if Hyungwon has a mask on, and their faces are a bit swollen due to sleep.

“I was gonna say it’s because pretty people need to reproduce to make next generation’s pretty people, but I remembered they’re both males.” Changkyun sighs, tilting his head to the side. “So I don’t know what to tell you.”

Jooheon snorts and squeezes the ravenette’s side where his hand rests, making him jolt.

Hyunwoo is the first to step forward and help the newcomers with their baggages, and Kihyun and Minhyuk follow. Hyungwon seems to be sleeping where he stands, and Jooheon chuckles at the sight.

All of them who already knew each other hug briefly and exchange a few words, knowing the two males might be tired from the trip. Kihyun takes upon himself on introducing the youngest males to them.

“Hyung, Hyungwon-ah. This is Changkyun-ah, our employee and maknae. And this is his best friend and boyfriend Jooheon-ah, who we didn’t hire but does more at the coffee shop than Changkyun.” Said male glares at the brunette as he says that.

They bow politely, and shake each other hands with kind smiles on their faces — Hyungwon’s trying his best.

“He’s so cute.” Hoseok comments with a sleepy smile as he points to Changkyun. His boyfriend makes a displeased noise.

“You better not start something funny, Lee Hoseok, I’m not fully awake but I can still kick your ass.” Hyungwon mutters, glaring half heartedly at the older, a hint of sleep still in his voice.

“He’s cute like a puppy is cute, not like your type of cute.” The blond smiles at the taller male. “You’re the only one who’s cute like that to me.”

“I can’t believe it took you twenty seconds in Seoul to start being gross.” Minhyuk scrunches his nose. “Let’s go.” He mumbles, starting to walk away with the suitcase in hand.

“Wait!” Kihyun calls out. “Where are you going you evil muppet? Come back here.” He goes after his blond friend and drags him back. “We don’t know who’s going in which car yet.” He explains, ignoring Changkyun’s inquiries about ‘evil muppet’.

“Oh, yeah. We can’t all get in a car.” Hyunwoo hums. “We should divide the luggage so it won’t all be in one car then.”

“I’m going with Jooheonie!” Changkyun raises his hand like a middle schooler trying to get their teacher’s attention.

“You three singlets are going to separate.” Hoseok motions at Kihyun, Minhyuk and Hyunwoo with his finger.

“I’m not single.” Minhyuk crosses his arm.

“Yeah but your girlfriend isn’t here so it doesn’t matter what your relationship status is.” Kihyun says. “You can go in the car with Hoseok and Hyungwon.”

“What about you?” The mocha brown haired male questions, adjusting the mask on his face.

“I’ll go with the other boys, it’s okay.” He smiles.

“You should go with them.” Hyunwoo nudges him with the back of his hand. “Me and the boys will be fine.” He smiles reassuringly. “Let’s just order the ubers and go.”

“Are you sure?” Kihyun questions.

“Why are you two acting as if you weren’t going to see each other ever again? It’s an hour maximum to get there.” Jooheon asks with a frown, his eyes practically disappearing.

“I like this one.” Hyungwon puts his hand on top of his head, the beanie he has on smushing down. Jooheon looks surprised but smiles politely.

“Can we go now?” Minhyuk asks, trying not to let the comment make things between Kihyun and Hyunwoo awkward.

Changkyun smiles at Hoseok and Hyungwon, and everyone starts getting ready to leave the station.

They order the ubers, on Minhyuk’s and Hyunwoo’s phones, and walk out to wait for the drivers to arrive. Hyunwoo’s is there first, only for a few minutes, and he takes off with Changkyun, Jooheon and a few suitcases.

“Are we gonna address the elephant in the room?” Hyungwon asks, not glancing away from where he’s watching random people get on with their lives, arms crossed.

“What elephant?” Minhyuk raises both eyebrows.

“Hyunwoo clearly still likes Kihyun. _That_ way, I mean.” He explains.

“Still can't believe you two broke up because of a doorframe.” Hoseok mumbles annoyedly.

“We’re not talking about it.” Kihyun says.

Minhyuk glances at him.

“I feel like it should be addressed before you make the biggest mistake of your life.” Hyungwon insists.

“It’s none of your business, Hyungwon-ah. And now’s not the time.” The shorter insists, and he sounds firm, even if tired.

“It’ll come up again eventually.” Hoseok says. “I hope you know that.”

Kihyun sighs tiredly, closing his eyes, and Minhyuk puts an arm around him.

“I do.”

“It’ll be fine.” The older blond reassures. “We’re together now.”

Hyungwon doesn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt the moment between the three best friends, but he does smile.

The uber arrives.

“I wonder how much different the place looks compared to how it looked on camera.” Hoseok says as they unload the trunk of the car. “I’m excited to live in it if I’m being honest.”

“Didn’t like your place back in Gwangju?” Kihyun asks.

“I mean… I liked it but it didn’t quite feel like a home. And now I get to live with Hyungwon and be closer to you guys and…” He trails off, probably deciding not saying ‘family’ will make it hurt less. “I’ll miss my friends and I’ll miss the studio and the team. But this is a new start, and those can’t be bad.”

“You didn’t need to get all philosophical. You could have just said yes or no.” Hyungwon laughs.

They walk into the building.

“What about you, Hyungwon-ah? How do you feel about being far away from Gwangju?” Hyunwoo asks, bag thrown over his shoulder.

The other tall male shrugs. “Everyone from my play is here now as well, so my job won’t be missed. And I’m used to being away from my family since they’ve been travelling a lot for their job. Since always, I mean. I’ll miss them, of course, but I’ll manage.” He pauses. “And I have Hoseok. And you guys now too I guess. Can’t be too bad.”

“You’re such a sweetheart when you want to be.” Hoseok coos.

“Don’t ruin it.” Hyungwon laughs, embarrassed.

“Let’s go up.” Minhyuk says, pressing the button on the lift.

“Will all of us fit in it?” Jooheon asks.

“The three of us should use the main lift.” Kihyun tells him, motioning towards Changkyun as well. “Come on.”

Eventually, the seven males are on the right floor, and Minhyuk’s handing Hoseok the keys so he can open the place for the first time. He does with a smile, and walks in carefully.

“I really like it.” Says the oldest with a wide smile. “I can see myself living here with Won.”

“Let me see the bed and I’ll check back in with you about that.” His boyfriend says, walking into the bedroom.

“Yikes.” Changkyun makes a face.

“Oh, don’t worry, he just wants to sleep.” Hoseok laughs.

“Do you like the decoration?” Kihyun asks.

“I like it. It’s simple. And it’s got enough space for our stuff that’s coming from Gwangju.” The blond squeezes Kihyun’s arm reassuringly. “Thank you all for the effort. And Kihyun for worrying like I know he must have.”

“And Minhyuk for taking care of the place and keeping it clean and tidy since he lives closer.” Hyunwoo adds.

Minhyuk smiles wide. “Also me and Naomi fucked in the kitchen. Hope you don’t mind.” Everyone makes a displeased noise. _“Listen,_ it was her idea.”

“Did you clean it after?” Jooheon asks.

“Yeah! It was when we were checking the place out before we started getting it all fixed and stuff.”

“What are you, animals?” Kihyun grimaces.

“Stop judging me, Yoo Kihyun. I know your secrets.” Minhyuk threatens.

“Let’s not go down that road.” Hyunwoo suggests, pulling Kihyun away from the blond gently. “Ba- Bro, didn’t you have something for Hoseok and Hyungwon?” He asks.

“Bro?” Changkyun frowns.

“Right!” Kihyun quips up, and runs to the couch to get a bag from behind a throw pillow. “Here, this is for you, welcome to Seoul.” He hands it to Hoseok.

“What’s this?” He asks, eyebrow raised.

“Open it. I wanna see.” Minhyuk pushes, and the other blond doesn’t argue, opening the package to find pink fluffy socks inside.

“Are these for me?” He asks.

“Obviously.” Kihyun says.

A pause.

“I love them.”

Hyunwoo looks a bit surprised, Minhyuk’s laughing and Kihyun’s amused. Changkyun and Jooheon are just curious.

“I knew you were gonna like them.” The brunette laughs. “And guess what. I have matching blue ones!” He pulls the hem of his pants and showcases the sock.

“I _love_ them.” Hoseok smiles wide. “I love my socks. Hyungwon’s gonna hate them.” He laughs.

“These are yours.” Kihyun hands Minhyuk a packet, and the other blond smiles wide as well.

“Thank you.” He says quietly, opening it and taking out his lilac socks. “I love them.”

“What’s the commotion about?” Hyungwon asks, walking out of the bedroom looking like he’s pleased with the bed he’s encountered.

“Kihyunie gave us new socks!” Hoseok turns to him waving the socks around, and Minhyuk raises his own to show the taller.

There’s a brief second in which the mocha brown haired male just stares at the pink things in his boyfriend’s hands, but then he looks in his eyes, and sees how excited the older male is about his gift, so a fond wide smile grows on his lips, and he chuckles sleepily. “I like them.” He says, reaching out to feel the socks. “I’m guessing you’re gonna wear them all the time when we’re inside now?”

“Probably. I might even wear them out. Kihyun’s doing it.” The blond replies.

“I’m a bit surprised Kihyun-hyung is wearing his in public, to be honest.” Jooheon says. “He’s whiny about his looks.”

“He won’t take the socks off.” Hyunwoo tells him. “I even think he might shower with them on.”

“I do not!”

Changkyun laughs.

“He’s too freaky about showering to wear socks.” Minhyuk shakes his head.

“Not sure I wanna know what that means.” Hyungwon says.

“These are yours, Hyungwon.” The brunette hands him the ugly socks he and Hyunwoo picked up. “Sorry they aren’t fluffy, but I saw them and thought of you right away.”

“What _were_ you doing when you got all of these?” Changkyun asks, frowning deep.

“Running errands with hyung.” He says. “The socks were not a part of the errands, by the way.”

Hoseok hums.

“Hyungwon hasn’t said anything in quite some time.” Minhyuk comments, waving a hand in front of said man’s face.

“And by that you mean seconds.” He finally speaks up, looking at the blond male with an unamused expression. “Thank you for the socks Kihyun-ah.” He makes a noise. “They’re very… interesting.”

“We know they’re ugly as fuck.” Kihyun laughs. “That’s why we got them.”

“Oh thank god.” Changkyun says. “I thought I was in an alternate universe for a second.”

“Those are the ugliest things I’ve ever…” Minhyuk trails off with a loud bark of laughter.

Hyungwon looks annoyed. “Thanks.”

“Socks are great, Hyungwon.” Hoseok says, putting a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder and looking strictly serious. “Be thankful for them. Even if they aren’t fluffy.”

“Um…” Hyungwon stares at him for some time. “I’m gonna go to bed.” He announces.

Hyunwoo chuckles.

“Thank you guys for picking us up, and just everything you did for us. I really appreciate it.” He says honestly. “It was really nice meeting you two.” He smiles to the younger males. “I hope to see you all soon. Take care.” He bids them a goodnight, and they wish him one back. And with that Hyungwon disappears into the bedroom. A few minutes later they hear the shower running.

“Hyung.” Kihyun speaks up, looking at Hoseok. “Can the three of us talk?”

He looks between himself and Minhyuk, silently informing who he’s referring to.

“Sure.” Hoseok nods.

“We’ll be in the kitchen.” Hyunwoo tells Kihyun, following Changkyun and Jooheon out of the living room.

“What’s up?” The older blond questions. Minhyuk stays silent as he waits for Kihyun to start talking.

“I talked to your parents.” Kihyun says.

“You did what?”

“I went over their place and I talked to them. I needed to say something.” He explains.

“You know I don’t like when people stick their noses in my life.” Hoseok crosses his arms. “What the fuck, Kihyun?”

“Wait.” Minhyuk says, putting a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder and pulling him closer. “Calm down.”

“I told them you didn’t know I had gone there. I didn’t even explicitly said ‘you have to accept Hoseok, you’re monsters if you don’t.’ I just told them I was disappointed.”

“You told them _what?”_ The older looks like he can’t believe his ears.

“I said I was disappointed because they did to you what my parents did to me and they were so opposed to. It wasn’t just about you.” He sighs. “I told them if they don’t accept you they can’t accept me either, because it doesn’t work like that. You and I are the same. So I said they wouldn’t see me again.”

The look on Hoseok’s face softens. Minhyuk has the same look on his face.

“You told them off?” He asks quietly. “You did that for me?”

“I did it for me too.” He says. “I should’ve said all of those things to my parents back in the day. But I couldn’t. So I wanted you to have someone who would do that for you.”

Minhyuk rests his head on Hoseok’s shoulder, a pout on his lips. “Kihyunie…” He says.

“I’m sorry, hyung. You have all the right to be mad. I know maybe I shouldn’t have gone there. But I’ve had enough of this.” He shakes his head.

Hoseok shares a look with Minhyuk, and they seem to share a conversation. Then they look back at Kihyun and open their arms to him.

“Come here.” Minhyuk says.

He comes forward and lets them hold him.

“It’s okay.” Hoseok mumbles. “I’m proud of you for doing that. I don’t care.” He reassures.

“I’m sorry for being so impulsive.” Kihyun says against his shirt. Minhyuk laughs.

“You have to do things without overthinking every once in a while.” He says.

“I guess you’re right.” The brunette sighs, pulling away. “Hopefully we’ll be out of problems for a while.” He says.

“Hopefully.” Hoseok agrees.

“When are you going to check out the studio you’ll be working in?” Minhyuk asks, resting an elbow on the older’s shoulder.

“I think next week.”

“Are you excited?” The brunette questions.

Hoseok nods.

“How does it feel to be back and having Hyungwon live with you here?” Minhyuk’s the one to ask.

The older takes a moment to reply. “Good.” He smiles. “It feels really good.”

Not long after, the five males leave the place to let Hoseok rest from the trip too. They bid their goodbyes and each of them go their separate ways.

“How are you feeling?” Hyunwoo asks, putting his arm around Kihyun in a way that incidentally looks more romantic that friendly, but it feels natural so he doesn’t notice. “Do you feel complete now that the three of you are reunited?”

The younger tilts his head a bit, and breathes in. “Not really.” He confesses. “But I feel like I’m almost there.”

Hyunwoo smiles at him. “That’s good.”

 

*****

 

“Hyung?” Kihyun calls, approaching the older’s bedroom’s door. “Something weird happened.”

The door opens and Hyunwoo’s standing there with a frown on his face. “What weird something happened?” He asks.

“Changkyun just texted me asking if he can come to E-Mart with us.” The younger replies, and a second after he’s done talking, the ravenette’s phone receives a message.

Hyunwoo takes the mobile in hands and looks at the screen. “Uh.”

“What is it?” Kihyun asks, moving to stand next to him and look at the screen. The older looks at him. “What’s up?”

“Jooheon just asked me the same thing.” He chuckles. “What do you think this means?”

The younger makes a whiny sound and looks at Hyunwoo with a face that makes the older laugh harder. “It means we’re babysitting.” He deadpans, and walks away with a grumpy face.

It turns out Kihyun isn’t far off.

They meet up at the supermarket, since none of them own a car and they didn’t feel like paying an uber, figuring it would be smarter to save up for later when they have heavy groceries on them and _need_ to get into a car unless they decide upon facing the subways with all the bags.

So when Jooheon and Changkyun arrive at the E-Mart ten minutes late, Kihyun’s already regretting being such a nice guy — he gets scoffed at when he says it aloud to Hyunwoo.

“Hey boys.” The brunette greets them, a smile on his lips despite them being late. Sometimes Kihyun’s all mouth and no bite. “Come on, let’s get a cart, I’m not even gonna ask why you’re late.” He heads into the building, the other three following him.

“Wanna go by the order we put the things on the list or browse through the aisles?” Hyunwoo asks him, and it’s like music to his ears to ear such a relevant and actually important question. He could kiss this man.

“We can just browse through, I think it’s safe to say Chip and Dale don’t have a list.” He snorts.

“I am _offended,_ hyung.” Jooheon says with no actual offense showing in his facial expression.

“We don’t have a grocery list though?” Changkyun laughs.

“I mean, yeah, but I have an idea of what I need. My list is in my mind.” He points to his temple to reinforce his point. “And besides, we don’t live together, you should have your own list.” He says to the youngest.

“...I’m not sure what I need.” He confesses.

“You didn’t check?” Kihyun raises an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder from where he’s been trying to pull out a stuck cart.

“Not really, I just have an idea in my mind. I’m trusting my instincts for this one.” He shrugs.

“I hope your instincts don’t lead you to starvation. If you die I’ll kill you.” The brunette mutters. He groans as he once again fails to pull the cart. “Yo, muscle boy, give me a hand?” He requests, glaring at Hyunwoo, who’s been watching with amusement for a while.

“Thought you’d never ask.” He teases, and comes forward to help Kihyun pull the cart. They’re successful, and the younger smiles and congratulates himself. “Sure, you’re welcome.” The oldest rolls his eyes with a smile.

“I mean you helped but if it hadn’t been for my previous effort that would’ve been impossible.” Kihyun says as he follows the two younger further into the place. Hyunwoo’s about to reprimand him, but when the shorter glances at him over his shoulder with a wide smile, all he can do is smile back like a fool in love. Which he guesses he is.

The market is big, like every other supermarket. The main colour being green, and the organization of the place is what makes Kihyun always come back to this one even though there’s a 7/11 much closer to their place. His roommate claims this E-Mart is familiar to him, and they can shop much quicker when he knows where everything is. Hyunwoo would argue, but from his past experiences grocery shopping with Kihyun, it’s actually surprising how well he knows the place, point to the specific shelf in an specific aisle whenever the older voices out he couldn’t find something, and he was always spot on.

Jooheon tells them he’s gonna go look for his shampoo first, or else he’ll forget, and meet them in a few minutes. So the three remaining men walk down the nearest aisle, which is basically sweets and snacks, and the chaos starts there.

“Changkyun, _Jesus._ Why are you acting like you haven’t seen food in ages?” Kihyun asks for the nth time when the youngest male throws yet another packet of jellies of some other shape than the ones already in the cart.

“I haven’t, I’m a college student.” The ravenette stresses, looking around for any type of jelly in shapes he hasn’t attacked yet.

Worry flashes through Kihyun’s face and Hyunwoo expects the worst.

“I know that look.” He says. Kihyun looks up at him as if he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, when in reality the older knows he does. “Kihyun…”

“Shush. Let me be a good boss.” The younger insists, whispering so that Changkyun won’t listen.

“He’s probably only saying that so you’ll let him buy all that candy.” The ravenette sighs. “And that’s not being a boss, that’s you treating Changkyun like a baby again.”

Kihyun shoots him a death glare. “He _is_ our baby. We’ve talked about this, we have to feed the youngest.” He roars. “I’m gonna go get him food, you keep an eye on him. And get those chips you like before you forget and sulk about if all week.” He walks out before Hyunwoo can stop him.

“No- Kihyun!” He calls, but the younger runs away. Hyunwoo rolls his eyes. “You know, one day you’re gonna ask for his liver and he’ll find a way to give it to you.”

Changkyun makes a face. “Gross, why would I want his liver?” He asks.

Hyunwoo groans and hides his face in his hands.

“Got it!” Jooheon turns around the corner, waving a bottle of shampoo in his hand, only to find Hyunwoo and Changkyun standing there by themselves, Kihyun nowhere to be seen. “Where’s hyung?”

“Changkyun made the mistake of implying he’s been starving to death and Kihyun’s probably about to buy the whole place worth of food.” Hyunwoo says, shoving his hands in his pocket.

Jooheon sighs. “I told you that was gonna come back and bite you in the ass.” He says to his boyfriend, putting the shampoo bottle in the cart.

“I had high hopes I guess.” The youngest sighs. “Let’s keep going while he’s at it I guess. What else do we need?”

Hyunwoo glances at his phone screen. “Toilet paper.”

“Something we can find in this aisle, we can get that after.” Jooheon suggests. “Just like Kihyun-hyung told us to.”

“I don’t know. I guess we can get my chips since we’re running out of them, but besides that I don’t think we’ll find much else we need in this aisle.” Hyunwoo mutters. “We can look for ramen in the next aisle though. We’re almost out of noodles.” He squints. “We also need rice.”

“Do you have any food at all?” Changkyun laughs. “You’re worse than me, hyung.”

Kihyun walks around the corner and dumps what seems to be a whole aisle worth of rice into the cart. “That’s probably it.” He sighs, dusting himself off.

“You only got rice.” Jooheon frowns, looking into the cart.

“Of course. We all need rice. It’s important.” He huffs. “Did you get your chips?” He asks Hyunwoo.

“Why are you so worried about those chips, hyung?” Changkyun questions.

“I did get them but I think you just turned all of them into dust with your rice avalanche.” The older points out, glancing at the cart.

Kihyun dives in and starts digging, trying to find the Honey Butter chips. “‘Cause Hyunwoo loves those and when we’re out of them he complains about it until we get more.” He explains, and salvages the chips from under the rice. “Future me will thank present me for sparing myself of the annoyance.”

“Future me will thank you as well.” Hyunwoo says sarcastically, boredom in his tone.

“Oh! I want peperos.” Jooheon smiles wide as he grabs a box, his eyes disappearing.

“I should get some, I’ve been craving them for a while now. I think I deserve it.” Kihyun agrees.

“Careful with those cravings, hyung, you might be pregnant.” Changkyun sneers.

 _“Your mom_ might be pregnant.” The older roars, glaring at him. “That’s not funny.”

“Don’t stress about it.” Hyunwoo nudges the younger. “It’s a joke, he knows you’re a guy.” He points out.

The brunette rolls his eyes, and grabs the boxes of pepero and throws them into the cart.

“Sometimes it gets really annoying.” He says quietly. The black haired male throws an arm over his shoulder and frowns at him.

“Then just tell them and they’ll stop.” He tells the younger calmly. “No one’s doing in because they wanna hurt you.”

“You don’t need to turn this into a heartfelt conversation, you awkward giant, I’m just being bitchy.” Kihyun snorts, and jabs the older on his side.

“I have a question.” Changkyun speaks up. “Why the hell did we start by the third or something aisle. Weren’t we following a logical order?” He raises his hands and waves them around in confusion. “Why are we here?”

Kihyun stills and stares at him, and everyone else stays silent.

“The kid’s right.” Kihyun says, and starts walking. “Let’s start from the start.” He laughs.

“Fruits and vegetables?” Jooheon asks.

“That’s on the other end.” Hyunwoo says, having grown used to this specific supermarket and it’s placing of aisles. “We start by the baking stuff aisle.”

“They learn so fast.” Kihyun sing songs, walking ahead of them with a shit eating grin on his lips, and Changkyun laughs.

“Can I get a cinnamon bun while we’re there?” Hyunwoo asks.

“Why are you asking for permission, hyung? It’s your money.” Jooheon asks.

Kihyun looks over his shoulder and giggles at them. “As long as you wash your hands before you touch anything.” He agrees. “It _is_ your money, after all.”

They arrive at the aisle, and Hyunwoo goes right away to the bakery to get the cinnamon bun, giving the brunette a thumbs up when he asks him to get bread as well.

“We need… Sesame oil, and some seasoning. And seaweed, and near that other end we get the coffee and tea.” Kihyun points as he reads the list on his phone. “Do you guys need anything here?”

“I think I need coffee.” Changkyun scratches his neck. “And maybe some sugar too, I’m running out.”

“We need salt also.” Kihyun mutters to himself, browsing and checking the prices.

“I need salt and sugar.” Jooheon says.

“Let’s just put whatever we need in the cart.” Changkyun says, already dropping a bag of coffee beans in the cart.

Hyunwoo comes back to the cart significantly more full and the two youngest discussing what brand of sugar they should get, and Kihyun’s nowhere to be seen, so he moves to the next aisle and finds him there, facing a shelf of canned food.

“Hyunwoo.” Kihyun calls, staring at something in front of him, and motioning for the older male with his hand.

The ravenette walks towards him, taking another bite of his bun and dropping the bag with bread in it into the cart on his way.

“What’s up?”

“Do you like cream of mushroom?” Kihyun asks, grabbing a can and analyzing it. “I was thinking of baking something with it.

“Never had it.” The older shrugs. “Let’s take it, I bet I’ll like it, whatever it is.” He takes the can from the brunette’s hand and leaves it in the cart as well. Jooheon comes right after with two bags of sugar, one from each brand, and puts them down.

“That’s a lot of trust you have in my cooking.” The shorter laughs.

“Not to brag, but my roommate is the best cook I’ve met.” He teases, and pokes at him.

“Can I have a piece?” Jooheon asks, staring at the cinnamon bun in Hyunwoo’s hand, and the older smiles and offers it to him.

In the end, they all take a bite of it, and Hyunwoo feels like a dad who has to share his food with all his kids, because in the end what’s his is also theirs.

Kihyun puts a bottle of olive oil, five bags of ramen noodles, flour and sesame seeds in the cart, and they go to the next aisle.

“We were just here, didn’t we get everything we needed?” Asks Changkyun.

“Almost, I’m just looking for pepper and salted shrimp.” Kihyun scratches the back of his neck.

“Kihyunie.” Hyunwoo calls. “Don’t we also need soy sauce?” He brings a bottle and puts it in the cart before the younger can answer.

“Oh, that’s right. Thank you.”

“I need that as well.” The youngest giggles embarrassed, going to the shelf and grabbing a bottle.

“Salted shrimp.” Kihyun says, grabbing the jar. “The brand hyung likes, and the hot sauce.” He announces as he puts them in the cart. “Leggo!”

“I’m gonna go wash my hands.” The oldest tells them, and walks out to the restroom.

“Hyung.” Jooheon starts after the older has left. “Did you speak informally to hyung?”

Kihyun doesn’t look at him when he answers, his eyes shifting from the phone to the shelves. “I did?” He questions, sounding uninterested. “When?”

“I heard you calling him _Hyunwoo.”_ Jooheon stresses.

“Oh.” Kihyun finally looks at him. “I didn’t realize.”

The other two share a look.

“But that doesn’t matter. I don’t think he cares much.” He shrugs, and turns away to consider a some premade muffins, smiling to himself.

They go on, and Hyunwoo is back shortly. The next aisle has them buying cereal, beans, etc. and they go to the refrigerated and frozen section after.

“I want ice cream.” Kihyun says, skipping to the freezer and opening the door to peek inside. Hyunwoo snickers.

“Grab us some too, I’m gonna get my yogurt.” Jooheon says to Changkyun, and he nods before going to Kihyun. Hyunwoo starts walking along the glass refrigerators and gets flavoured milk he and Kihyun like and some cheese.

“Here.” Kihyun and Changkyun come back. “I got you a mint chocolate one.” The brunette smiles at him.

“Thanks. I got the cheese and flavoured milk.”

“And I got the yogurt.” Jooheon comes up.

“Oh, we need cream cheese.” Kihyun hums. “I’ll go get that, and butter. And we need juice.”

“Let’s go.” Hyunwoo nods to the two youngest, following Kihyun and he grabs what they need and drops it all in the cart. He cleans his throat. “Kihyun-ah. We’re out of liquor as well.” He reminds him.

“We’ll get that later at the Wine and Spirits section.” Jooheon says. “I want cream cheese as well.”

“I want frozen dumplings.” Changkyun claps his hands. “And waffles!” He says with excitement. “This is so exciting!”

“Why is he so weird today?” Kihyun asks.

“He gets like that when we go grocery shopping.” Jooheon smiles, dimples showing as he watches his boyfriend attack a fridge of frozen goods. “It’s cute, he gets all excited to buy stuff.”

“Lucky you the money is his.” Hyunwoo teases.

“I think he’s excited about the frozen waffles because of stranger things though.” Jooheon says, scratching his nose and then putting his hands in his hoodie’s pockets. “Boy’s weird like that.”

“And you’re one to talk?” Kihyun raises an eyebrow.

“Kimchi. We need kimchi.” Hyunwoo tells the brunette. “I’ll go get it.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

“I got them!” Changkyun comes back with a smile. “Here.” He drops them all in the cart.

The other two stare at the cart.

“How many boxes did you get?” The brown haired male frowns. “Are there any left in the fridge?”

“Are you gonna eat all of these?” Kihyun questions.

“You bet your ass I am.” He smiles proudly. “Hyung.”

“Kimchi.” Hyunwoo announces as he puts it in the cart.

They go around to grab the meat and some seafood, taking quite some time since Kihyun likes to be sure he’s taking quality stuff home, and he can’t be blamed for it. Jooheon gets them eggs, and Changkyun grabs a box of chicken nuggets while the older males are getting chicken wings and breasts. Kihyun lets Hyunwoo and Changkyun choose the seafood, and takes Jooheon with him to get the vegetables and fruits.

“Let’s get the hygiene business down.” The brunette says. “We need toothpaste, and detergent.”

“We could have just gotten all that when Jooheon wanted to get his shampoo.” Changkyun comments, a hand on the cart as he walks alongside Kihyun.

“He doesn’t like to put hygiene products along with food.” Hyunwoo explains. “That’s why we’re getting a separate basket.”

“Why, hyung?” It’s Jooheon’s turn to ask.

“‘Cause most of those are chemicals and I don’t want that messing up our food and getting us sick.” Kihyun replies simply.

“Man, moms love you, don’t they?” He snorts.

“My mom does.” Hyunwoo adds.

“Mine too.” Changkyun comments. “I need band aids!” He exclaims, and goes towards the Marvel themed ones. “Can we get these?”

“Once again, it’s your money.” Jooheon laughs.

“I want one of each.” The youngest smiles.

“That’s gonna cost a fortune.” Kihyun mumbles, and Hyunwoo laughs.

Jooheon walks up to Changkyun and hugs him from behind, kissing his cheek and grabbing one of the boxes, which appears to be a Iron Man one. “We can get one. These are usually a lot pricier than the ordinary ones.” He tells him.

“We can’t spend money on my health, but we can on your greasy hair?” Changkyun questions with fake annoyance.

“You said you love my hair!” Jooheon accuses.

“Sometimes you have to go through real struggles to get your dick sucked in this economy.” The youngest sighs dramatically. Jooheon lets go of him.

“You’ll have to go through some very real struggles after this.”

“I really didn’t want to hear any of that.” The brunette whines, letting his head hang forward. “Let’s just get our stuff and go.” He starts walking, ignoring the two youngest’s bickering. “Cotton buds, we’ve been out for over a week.”

“Also deodorant, I’ve been wearing yours.” Hyunwoo says.

“I know.” Kihyun deadpans. “Grab one of yours and then another one for me, you wore almost half the can.”

“I’m a big guy.” The older ruffs, and Kihyun coughs.

“I need my body wash.” Jooheon says. “Changkyun likes using mine and because of that I’ve been running out of it a lot quicker.”

“You smell nice and I like smelling like you.” The youngest reasons. “Also you always use my hair conditioner. And you _never_ get one for yourself.”

“Get yourself a body wash and we’ll talk.” The brown haired male hisses.

“Fabric softener.” Hyunwoo says, putting it in the basket.

“Is it the brand I like?” Kihyun asks without sparing him a glance.

“Yes sir.”

The brunette smiles.

“Oh! We need condoms.” Changkyun says.

“Right. We’ll be right back.” Jooheon grabs his boyfriend by the hand and they walk around the corner to another shelf.

Both Kihyun and Hyunwoo are left alone with that last comment, and an awkward silence.

“We… We also need detergent.” Kihyun mutters, looking down with his face a slight pink.

“Yes. I’ll get that.” Says the ravenette, and he walks away as fast as he can.

Kihyun is left alone, and he fidgets, then walks to where the two youngest are. It can never hurt to be safe.

Eventually, they get liquor, then go to the checkout so they can pay. It’s a tad messy, and it drives Kihyun a bit crazy, but they manage to separate what’s each of theirs and pay it all. Jooheon and Changkyun both go the the older’s place, saying it’s easier to just do that, and when Changkyun goes home with his things, Jooheon’s gonna come over with him anyways since he’ll sleep over, and it’s easier to pay two ubers instead of three.

In their own car, as they’re sitting next to each other in silence, messing with their phones, Kihyun tells Hyunwoo he’s going over to Minhyuk’s.

“Okay. Are you sleeping over?” The older asks, to which Kihyun shakes his head. “Text me when you leave there and when you get home, then.” He says. “I might not be home when you come back.”

At that, the younger perks up. “Where are you going?”

“I didn’t tell you?” Hyunwoo questions, and his tone isn’t mean, but Kihyun already feels a pang to his chest. “I’m going out with a friend.”

“What friend?”

Hyunwoo looks up at the brunette with his brows furrowed, like he’s just gone insane before his eyes. “Jiyeon.” He says. “She’s a friend from college. Are you okay?” He looks actually concerned as he asks, and Kihyun realizes he might be letting it show too much.

“I’m fine.” He laughs. “Just wanna know. You know, in case you die and I get interrogated.” He brushes it off. “Wow, that sounded fucked up.”

“It did.” The older raises an eyebrow. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“Nothing’s wrong! You’re just going out with your _girl_ friend. And I’m going out with my _guy_ friend. Nothing weird under the sun, things are just going…” He looks away. “Exactly as they should.”

Hyunwoo looks concerned, and he wants to say something, but he wants to trust Kihyun to stand up for himself if he needs to, so he doesn’t interfere.

The rest of the way is filled with silence. Kihyun pretending to be focused on his phone as his mind goes a hundred miles per hour, and he doesn’t want to show how anxious he’s feeling, doing his best to keep it all inside.

It should be ridiculous how easy it is to fall for someone. They do something out of character that’s pleasantly surprising? You’re done for. Hold their hand, have them hold you by the waist, smile at you, if they don’t give you attention when usually they’re all over you, or the other way around. Falling in love is rather a quick and easy thing to happen, and falling out of love can be the slowest more painful experience if you have to force it upon yourself. Sometimes even if it’s gradual and it happens naturally, it’s painful to look at someone who once meant the world to you and realize your heart doesn’t pound for them anymore.

And yet, it still makes him wonder if he will, one day, feel that way for Hyunwoo, because all his attempts at killing off his feelings have been useless, and Kihyun won’t show, but he’s tired. He’s tired of it being his main concern, Hyunwoo on his mind, all day and all night, sometimes even his dreams. God… His mother would be very disappointed. He should go up to him and talk, clear up and go off about how he feels and how much it hurts. He doesn’t understand what it is, what’s holding him back.

And now, feeling Hyunwoo’s eyes on him as he probably wonders why the hell he’s acting so weird, wanting to just pull him in and kiss him silly, but not being able to, and on top of it all not being sure if this date the older has is really with just a ‘friend’ and not something more… He’s too scared to risk it all, he’s too consumed by fear of losing the little of Hyunwoo he has.

Maybe after all he really prefers the benefit of the doubt over being sure he’s not wanted anymore.

They get home, and both of them start getting ready to go out. Everything happens and the world feels blurry in front of his eyes. The only reason Kihyun’s not staying home is because he’s going to Minhyuk’s, which is infinitely better than staying in his own flat alone torturing himself with the possible image of Hyunwoo and Jiyeon making out for the sake of old times — those of which he doesn’t know if ever happened, but isn’t that how straight people work or something?

He leaves before Hyunwoo, not wanting to see what he’s gonna wear out and feed his paranoia even more. He takes the subway, trying to distract himself, and arrives at Minhyuk’s almost out of breath from how fast he was walking.

“Hey.” The blond greets as he opens the door. His expression quickly changes when he takes in Kihyun’s state.

“Wow, is he okay?” A female voice asks, and Kihyun looks up to see Naomi there.

“Hey.” Kihyun waves, straightening up and giving the best smile he can right now. “Sorry.”

“I hope you don’t mind Naomi came over? She said she was bored.” Minhyuk tells him.

Kihyun doesn’t actually mind. In another situation, he might have, but right now all distraction is welcome, and he likes Naomi because she makes him feel comfortable in his own skin just like Minhyuk and Hoseok do.

“Hyunwoo’s going out with a friend.” He mumbles as he walks past Minhyuk and the older closes the door.

The two other share a look, and Naomi shrugs at the blond male.

“Oh? What are they doing?” He asks in a cheery tone.

Kihyun throws himself onto the couch unceremoniously, and groans. “Each other.” He groans. “Maybe.”

“Oh fuck.” The black haired girl mutters, and she coughs awkwardly. “Are you sure?”

“No.” He sniffs. “But that’s all I can think about.”

“Hold up.” Minhyuk says, walking over and pulling Kihyun into a sitting position. The younger pouts childishly. “What exactly did he say he was doing?”

“He said he was going out with his college friend.” He says with a sigh. “Jiyeon or something.”

“And what makes you think they’re gonna fuck?” Naomi asks with a deep quizzical frown.

“I don’t know. Isn’t that what straight people do?” Kihyun whines, and then both he and the black haired woman turn to look at Minhyuk.

“This token straight friend part is really difficult sometimes.” He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know what to tell you, because me and Hyunwoo are extremely different and whatever I’d do is probably not what _he_ would.” Naomi provides with a sympathetic grimace.

“And what would _you_ do?” The brunette asks.

“Depending on the friend and my mood I’d probably do her.” She replies honestly.

Kihyun groans louder and throws himself back on the couch.

“No.” Minhyuk reprimands with a sigh. “You, bad, don’t say those things.” He points at Naomi. “And you, get up, I’m not letting you do this.”

“Why are you scolding _me?_ I’m just being honest. And once again what I do is completely different from what Hyunwoo would.”

“You’d still do _him,_ though.” Minhyuk mumbles annoyedly.

“You want me to lie?”

“What’s going on here?” Kihyun questions with an arched eyebrow.

“Oh, right, I never told you.” The older male starts. “Naomi only ever came up to me because she was interested in Hyunwoo.”

The brunette looks at her, and she shrugs shamelessly. “Can you blame me?”

“But I managed to snatch her ass before that could happen.” Minhyuk smiles proudly, and Kihyun grimaces.

“You annoyed me for a week straight.” She deadpans.

“Yeah but who got you into bed by the end of that week? This bitch right here.” He teases. “And you liked it so much you stuck around, you cold hearted goth.”

“I only stuck around because you’re pretty and…” She glances sideways at Kihyun, who’s watching curiously and a bit grossed out, then looks back at Minhyuk, deciding to spare the younger male. “You know what else.”

“Ew, please stop there.” Kihyun asks, grimacings and closing his eyes to kill off the mental image. “I beg you.”

“Yeah but I had to hear about you and Hyunwoo fucking without even asking for it.” Minhyuk points out.

“If I ask for it will you tell me?” Naomi questions Kihyun with a shit eating grin.

“Just so you can have me go down on you while you fantasize about Hyunwoo? No.” Minhyuk pinches her side, and she slaps him on the arm.

“Fuck you.” She bites.

“Later.”

“Can you _please_ stop the straight sex talk? I’m gonna vomit.” Kihyun says loudly, speaking over them and sporting the most disgusted expression he thinks he’s ever made.

Naomi nods sadly as if agreeing with Kihyun’s disgust.

“Honestly, I…” The brunette trails off, a bit strained. “Maybe I don’t even like him.” He blurts out.

Naomi snorts and Minhyuk frowns.

“Are you insane?” The blond asks.

“No, really. Maybe he’s just that good of a kisser. Maybe I just liked getting off with him and kissing him and that’s why I’m feeling like this!” He exclaims.

“Dude, you’re obviously in love with the guy.” The black haired girl rubs her hand over her face in annoyance. “What are you saying?”

“Sometimes using honorifics is a good idea, you know?” Kihyun mumbles grumpily.

She ignores him.

“There’s no way that’s what it is, Kihyun. Don’t be delusional.” Minhyuk speaks.

“Oh and it’s not delusional of me to be in love with a straight guy?” The brunette argues.

“If I’ve survived this.” Naomi motions between her and Minhyuk. “So will you.”

Minhyuk blushes slightly at the idea of his girlfriend admitting she has feelings for him, but he tries to swallow the excitement down. “And you think denying your feelings is the way to go? You think that’s gonna fix things?”

“Let’s just accept he’s a good lay and that’s what happened! Why can’t we?!” Kihyun complains.

“Okay, let’s test the theory.” Naomi sighs, walking up to Kihyun. She grabs his face and kisses him full on the mouth.

The brunette is unable to react, just standing there speechless and she pulls away. “I’m a good kisser, so if that’s the case, did you feel the same thing right now as you feel when you kiss Hyunwoo?”

Minhyuk walks up to them and pulls her away from his best friend gently. “Naomi, please.” He says. “That won’t work anyways, he doesn’t like women.” He says, then turns to Kihyun and kisses him himself.

Naomi laughs so loud it sounds like a squeal.

“So?” Minhyuk asks as he pulls away, looking at Kihyun as if he and his girlfriend hadn’t just kissed the words out of him.

The brunette stands there like a statue for a few seconds, then makes a disgusted face.

“Hey, even if it was bad, you should at least be polite.” She scolds. “No fucking way the kiss was bad.”

“Minhyuk you fucker, never kiss me again!” Kihyun shouts angrily, and grabs some throw pillows and plummets them at him.

“Oh, okay then.” Naomi laughs.

“I was being helpful!”

“Be helpful three feet away from me!”

 

*****

 

Later that night as he walks home from the subway station, the conversation he’s had with the Double Trouble Couple™ plays over and over in his mind. Naomi telling him he shouldn’t try going after Hyunwoo and fighting for him because he feels like he’d only feel accomplished in life if he was in a relationship, and Kihyun’s intoxicates brain was trying it’s best to follow.

_“I wasn’t looking for anything when I met Minhyuk, I just wanted to fuck. Then sadly I ended up liking this annoying pretty face.” She motioned towards the blond man with his head on her lap, and he smiled up brightly._

_“Thing is.” The brunette says, a bit slurred. “I don’t need him because I feel like I have to need someone. I need him because I love him.”_

_“Then you shouldn’t keep trying to pretend you don’t. Go up to him and demand a tongue bruising kiss.” Minhyuk proudly suggested._

_Both Kihyun and Naomi grimaced._

_“Or ask him where you both are.” She said._

_“This is a rare moment in which my girl is being wiser than me.” Minhyuk sang._

_At that, she laughed brightly, seeming to drop the ‘annoyed’ facade, and jabbed him on his side, making him shriek._

What even justifies him not having the guts to talk to Hyunwoo? He went to Hoseok’s parents’ house and told them to forget him, basically, for them to get lost, and he can’t even go up to the guy he dated and had his best — and actually only — relationship with.

Many people have told him to just do it. Just go up to Hyunwoo and tell him, ‘tell him how you feel!’ they all say, but it’s not like many people can relate to his situation. How many people have put the burden on him, for him to do the right thing, so speak his heart out and let the older knows how he feels? He’s got Hoseok, Minhyuk, Hyungwon, his own mother, Changkyun and Jooheon, Joshua and Jeonghan, Naomi, even Jaebum. Everyone’s put their coin on him, betting on him to do the right thing and make both of them happy. And Kihyun doesn’t understand why he’s been given that responsibility. How can they know in the end if this is really what’ll lead to both of their happiness?

He arrives home before Hyunwoo does, and texts him to let him know he’s safe. It surprises him that he gets a thumbs up emoji in response, as he was expecting to be left on read once the older was made sure he wasn’t dead in a ditch.

He checks the groupchat with his two best friends, and he smiles wide as he backreads and sees Hoseok texted them to inform his parents had reached out and were willing to go out for dinner with both him and Hyungwon. Kihyun doesn’t feel proud, because this isn’t his accomplishment, but Hoseok thanks him anyways, and he brushes it off so very lightheartedly it’s shocking to himself.

Minhyuk invites both of them to come over to his place the next day, and Kihyun declines, saying he feels like staying home and living his domestic Single-Twenty-Something’s life a bit. The other two mock him, but they understand, and he promises he won’t be upset if they meet up without him. They know it already, but he still says it anyway. In the end, they’re all best friends, and not being there doesn’t mean being loved less.

He’s giggling at his phone sitting up on the kitchen counter when Hyunwoo walks in through the door, and he looks up with a soft small smile on his lips to receive the older. “Hey hyung.”

“Hey.” Hyunwoo takes off his coat and hangs it, and drops his keys on the table before taking off his shoes. “What you giggling at?” He asks, approaching him.

“Minhyuk and Hoseok, as usual.” He shrugs, looking down at the phone with a fond look and then back up at the older, who’s standing next to him. “Did you have fun?” He asks lightly, trying to sound like he’s interested for purely friendly reasons.

“I did, actually. I’ve missed Jiyeon, we barely get to catch up.” He chuckles at the thought. “She’s a really nice girl.”

The brunette hums, looking down at his feet. “Naomi, Minhyuk and I just sat around and drank beer while speaking nonsense for a few hours.” He laughs dryly. “Sounds like you had a more exciting day.”

“More exciting than _that?”_ The older jokes, smiling. “Not that easy.”

Kihyun laughs and punches him playfully on the shoulder. “Asshole.” He says, and Hyunwoo laughs along, smiling at the younger in that way that makes his stomach go crazy with it’s butterflies.

Then he gets a text message, and Hyunwoo looks down to check on it. The brunette looks down as well, automatically, and he’s reminded he’s still his lockscreen. A second time that day, a pang in his chest, and he exhales shakily. The ravenette looks up curiously.

“You okay?” He asks.

The younger nods quickly, looking up at Hyunwoo to prove his point, before he realizes how big of a mistake that is. They’re too close, and the sudden emotions are making him feel uneasy. Kihyun knows if he shares that gaze with his roommate for too long, he’ll either kiss him or start crying, so he does what’s safe to do, and jumps down from the counter, escaping from him.

He laughs awkwardly, and looks everywhere but at the older.

This is why it’s a bad idea to tell him, why it’s a bad idea to ever tell Hyunwoo how he feels and try to understand what’s happening, if they can be together, if not, and if they ever should’ve been in the first place. He lets himself be weak and looks up at Hyunwoo again, who’s watching him curiously. They’re still close, now standing side by side, and Kihyun feels himself wavering with how the older is just _beautiful._ He lets himself get lost in his chocolate eyes one last time, and tells himself this is the deciding moment.

He can’t risk it, he can’t risk losing again. So he pats the older in the Straightest™ way he can, and walks out of the kitchen.

He enters his room and sits on the bed, unlocking his phone and scrolling down his instagram feed to try to distract himself from the most crushing decision he’s ever made, and he has to deal with it alone.

“Kihyun?” He hears Hyunwoo call, and looks up to see the ravenette approaching his room, walking in and looking down at him.

“Yeah?” He frowns slightly.

“We need to talk.” He says.

The younger panics.

“About the fissures we got?” He asks, his voice an octave higher due to anxiety, and mentally he’s beating himself up for being dumb.

“About us.” The older states.

The burden was put on him, but before it could crush him, Hyunwoo took it off his back, and threw it on his own, and blew everyone’s expectations.

“About us?” He asks quietly, and the taller almost doesn’t catch it.

There’s a silence, and they stare at each other.

Then Hyunwoo starts laughing, and it sounds bitter, and sad, but still not completely insincere.

“I’m in love with you.” He says, and Kihyun stops breathing. “I can’t with this, I can’t with pretending I don’t want to kiss you all the time, not being able to call you baby, jagiya, _nae sarang_ even. I want you. Fuck the agreement, I didn’t expect to fall for you, but that’s what happened.”

The brunette doesn’t reply, but stares at Hyunwoo speechless, taken aback. The ravenette sounds… vulnerable, open, and it has Kihyun taking down his own defenses. Hyunwoo sits down on the bed, in front of him.

“You love me?” Kihyun asks, his voice a whisper, and the older gently takes his hands in his, so he’ll know he can pull away if he wants to. “You’re in love with me?”

“I am.” The older says.

Kihyun snorts, and it surprises the taller a bit, who raises an eyebrow at him. “I’m in love with you too.” He says like it’s nothing, like he’s stupid.

Hyunwoo looks at him, and he looks back, and the older smiles.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, was it?” Kihyun asks with a smile on his lips, looking up at the older, almost sadly.

“No, it wasn’t.” He shrugs. “Is that a problem? ‘Cause I don’t care. This here, me and you. It feels right. Holding it back, that’s what felt ridiculously wrong.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, though? Feelings for another guy.” The younger mumbles. “Do you really want to go through all of it?”

“I’m honestly blinded by how much I want to be with you. It’s eating me alive. I don’t care about anything else. Fuck everyone, for real. Everybody can get lost, the deal is you and me.”

Kihyun stares at him with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“I guess we really did fake it ‘till we made it.” The brunette jokes, and Hyunwoo snorts, his head hanging forward as they both giggle at his stupid joke.

Then the older looks up with a fond look in his eyes.

“You have shit taste in men.” He reminds him, taking his hand up and playing with a strand of hair next to the younger’s ear.

“And you do too.” Kihyun quips, shrugging.

Hyunwoo shakes his head with a soft smile. “My taste in men is very limited, but I’m pretty sure I rock at it.” He adds.

“My taste in men is seeming to be getting better.” Kihyun admits, eyes shining as he looks at the older.

They sit in silence for a moment, until Hyunwoo asks the million dollar question. “Why didn’t you say anything?” He asks softly, but he sounds hurt. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured into it. But we were so stupid. We said to each other, we said ‘I want you.’ and yet we went and let a stupid agreement ruin it all within seconds.”

Kihyun looks down at his hands.

“I didn’t say anything for the same reason.” He says. “I was scared. I was so scared when you agreed with it being over, I thought you meant if for real. It was stupid of me to bring it up in the first place, but… I guess we were just too scared. The both of us. I didn’t expect to fall so hard for you in a week, I chose you because I thought the chances of things being screwed over between us was smaller.”

“What a plot twist, huh?”

“Feels like the universe’s mocking me, if I’m being honest.”

Hyunwoo takes his hand to his chin and lifts his head so Kihyun will look at him.

“Why did you cry in bed at night, back in Gwangju?” He questions, and the younger feels his face heating up at the revelation the older knows about that. He sighs, and his brows furrow.

“I kept overthinking how I felt about you and how I wanted you to feel about me, and it made me upset. Whenever I had time to myself and to think I’d start worrying and the fact you were lying right there made me feel worse. ‘Cause I wanted to hug you and kiss you but I didn’t want to feel that way in case you weren’t interested in having anything else with me.” He explains, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You could have asked. Or read the signs? You shouldn’t have overthinked it so much. I was right there. I’m right here.” He leans forward and bumps his forehead softly against his.

“When you’ve had too many bad experiences like I have, you can’t help but overthink when things are going too well.” Kihyun whispers, the frown still there. “I’m the consequence of the things that happened. I’m the result of an endless math equation.” He laughs dryly.

“I’m sorry about that.” Hyunwoo whispers.

The younger shakes his head faintly.

“It’s not your fault.”

Still, the ravenette pulls him close, and Kihyun moves accordingly, fitting himself in the older’s arms, hugging him and letting himself be held, like he’s been craving ever since they first entered the apartment after the trip.

“Let me help you make up for lost time.” Hyunwoo mutters close to his ear. “Give you good experiences and make nice memories.”

Kihyun chuckles. “I’d like that.” He says honestly.

He presses his lips against the ravenette’s sideburn.

“That’s not what you are, by the way.” The older adds, his hands running up and down Kihyun’s back affectionately.

“What?” The brunette questions.

“You’re not a consequence, you’re the development, the aftermath. You survived all that and you’re the better version of the you before all that. You’re stronger.” He says gently.

“You give yourself very little credit too. You’re strong as hell, Hyunwoo.” Kihyun pulls back to look the older in the eyes.

“If so, then you’re my newfound weakness.” He mutters, eyes on the younger’s lips as he says it.

The younger laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound, his husky voice echoing through the room. “Flattered to be.” He says, and leans in to brush his nose against Hyunwoo’s affectionately, then kiss him, finally.

And they could say, over and over, how much they’ve missed it, but it’s all in the kiss, everything’s there, every suppressed emotion, and Kihyun clutches onto the older like his life depends on it, because his heart does, as the older holds him just the same way.

Then when they pull back, panting and laughing with wet eyes, they hug for what feels like forever, Kihyun laughing softly at his own stupid self for doubting himself and Hyunwoo so much, with his head against the older’s shoulder, as the ravenette kisses his own shoulder over his shirt.

“Can I fuck you with the fuzzy socks on?” Hyunwoo asks quietly.

“Don’t tell me you have a thing for socks.” The brunette mutters.

“I have a thing for _you.”_ Stresses the older.

Kihyun laughs against the other’s shoulder. “Good save.”

 

*****

 

“Shhh.” Kihyun shushes the older again, motioning for him to keep walking as they try not to make any noise.

“Why are we sneaking around? You’re acting as if we’re about to break into it.” Hyunwoo teases.

“Because we are!”

“You can’t be breaking into when you’re the owner, and you’re going to open the door with the key.” The ravenette chuckles, his hand held tightly in the younger’s.

“I’m done with your criticism. Live life dangerously at least once.” The younger says, exasperated.

“Sure, I will. But when it’s actually dangerous, not right now.”

“Will it make you shut up if I tell you if anyone notices us trying to get into the Coffee Shop in the middle of the night, they’ll probably call the police?” Kihyun stops walking to look the older dead in the eye.

“Open that door!” Hyunwoo hisses, pushing the younger male towards it, gently.

So finally, Kihyun opens it, and they walk in quickly, locking after themselves.

The younger moves and turns on the heater, and the ravenette turns on the lights in their lowest setting, walking up to his boyfriend so he can sit next to him on the bench of the brown upright piano that has been unused for months now. It’s probably out of tune, but the brunette couldn’t care less right then and there.

“Pick one.” He whispers, not wanting to break the moment as the older rests his chin on his shoulder and laces his arms around his waist.

“Any one you want.” The ravenette says back in the same tone.

Kihyun looks at the older with a small smile, and a fond look, then turns back to the piano and [ starts playing ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtitQBmL0zI).

“I love you.” Hyunwoo whispers against the fabric of the younger’s sweater as he plays, a bit out of tune, but he doesn’t care at all.

They lost themselves in each other, and found their way back as one. And right there, inside that empty café, way past midnight and playing a song out of tune, the puzzle is complete.

 

 

_The End_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna say that the main inspiration for fake relationships I had were [these](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8682229) [two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476741) fics, since the very beginning when I was plotting this story  
> Expect an epilogue/bonus chapter  
> See you guys soon ;)


	13. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me over a month to update this. I guess I wasn't ready for it to be over  
> But here we are  
> Today is my birthday, so I decided this is my birthday present to you guys. I've got one hour left of birthday, so I'm not late okay  
> I hope you enjoy this bonus chapter!  
> This is only 8k lmao, but I hope you enjoy it anyways <3
> 
> Some of the showki dialogues were based on [this account](https://twitter.com/monstax_texts) on twitter, with their authorization. Check them out!

i.

 

 

 

> _My imagination runs short_
> 
> _You’re so beautiful_

 

It’s not supposed to be this hard.

Honestly, how hard can it be to find a girl? How difficult can it be?

A lot, apparently, ‘cause it’s been two weeks and yet Hoseok hasn’t been able to find who the hell this Dodo actress is. He only has the character’s name and the play as a reference, and no one seems to be able to help him. He’s gonna go insane.

If only he had Minhyuk around with his ridiculous plans that most of the time actually worked because as eccentric the younger was, he was actually really smart. But he doesn’t, all he has is himself and his desperation. He’s tried to let it go, really, it’s been real, but he’s never been this infatuated with a girl before. He never used to believe in love at first sight, but this might actually be the real thing.

He gets in touch with a friend he has that works as a makeup artist in the play, and this time — unlike the other three times he called to beg for the actress’ name and get a confused answer in return — he asks her if he can visit the backstage. She’s not entirely sure she should at first, considering how creepy Hoseok had potentially sounded before, but the man promises he’ll behave. He just really wants to talk to Dodo. He’s a big fan.

Eventually she gives in.

Hoseok tries not to look like he’s trying too hard. He dresses himself casually, but, at the same time, i the same way that has made girls swoon at him whenever he shot them his pretty smile.

He enters the backstage a bit before the play’s over, and he waits patiently on a corner, trying not to look creepy. The cast leaves the stage, and Hoseok spots Dodo easily, her beautiful model-like physique towering over some of the men and all the women. He tries getting to her, but she walks into her dressing room and locks the door after Hoseok’s just a few steps behind. No problem. He can just wait outside. He doesn’t want to be the creep who knocks on the door while she’s changing.

He waits outside for what feels like ages, but is actually half an hour. Then he sees the doorknob twisting, and straightens up to look the most presentable possible when she sees him for the first time. It should be a memorable sight.

And it is, but now how Hoseok’s been expecting it to be.

Out of the room walks a beauty. The most beautiful creature he’s laid his eyes upon, no makeup on, but skin glowing, beautiful natural plump lips, small face, elegant swan neck. The most beautiful _man_ he’s ever seen.

And he does see Hoseok, and raises an eyebrow at the blond male gaping at him like he’s just encountered an alien.

“Are you okay?” Asks the other, voice smooth, calming, something Hoseok can see himself getting used to, getting lulled to sleep by.

“You… You… Dodo, you…” He tries, pointing at the door, then at the curtains that give to the stage, and at the mocha brown haired man. “You’re Dodo.” He says.

“I am.” He smiles softly. “My name’s Hyungwon, actually.”

“I… Oh my god.” Hoseok says slowly, confused. “I thought you were a girl.”

The taller makes a face. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

But no, Hoseok isn’t disappointed. It’s what’s making him question everything he’s ever believed in. If he’d suspected he’d found the one before, then now that he’s seen Hyungwon, he’s sure.

So he just forgets everything he’s ever known to be himself, and lets his rational mind slip. “Do you wanna go out and grab something to eat?” He asks quietly. Unlike himself with girls. But he figures it’s okay since Hyungwon’s very much not a girl.

“You don’t mind I’m not a girl?” Hyungwon raises an eyebrow, smiling at him and giving him a knowing look.

“I’ve just come to the realization that I don’t. Not now that I’ve seen you.”

“Wow, Don Juan. Okay, you’ve got me.” The taller chuckles. “It’s a date. Come on.” He nods towards the door. “I didn’t get your name?”

“Sorry. It’s Hoseok, Lee Hoseok.” He scratches his nape.

“Chae Hyungwon.” He smiles. “Sorry I’ve made you not so straight anymore.” He brings in his shoulders.

Hoseok shakes his head. “I’m not.” He says. “Do you like frozen yogurt?”

-

On their second date, Hoseok is a lot less bold. He holds Hyungwon's hand when he thinks the younger won’t mind, and he tries to make it obvious he’s interested, but he’s not sure if he’s doing it right.

“And, like, it was difficult for them, because no one, not even me, was sure this part was gonna work, you know? I mean I had to play a girl, and even if it was for comic relief, I’d have to be convincing. And it got to a point where…”

Hoseok feels bad he isn’t listening. Actually, he’s listening, but he knows he’s getting none of it. Anything that doesn’t have to do with how Hyungwon’s lips were moving isn’t relevant enough for him right now. He wants to kiss him. All he can think about is how much he wants to feel Hyungwon’s beautiful lips on him, and it scares him how much he’s having to hold himself back from doing it.

But he doesn’t know if it’s okay. He’s not sure. Is it moving too fast? When are they allowed to kiss? Is it different in a relationship between two men? Are there specific rules? Should he ask first? Is asking gonna make it awkward?

What he doesn’t notice is that his inner turmoil shows completely on his face, and Hyungwon’s noticed. It’s not hard to get what’s going through Hoseok’s mind when he can’t look away from his lips and he looks like he’s about to drool and then scold himself for it. So Hyungwon calls his name, and Hoseok’s eyes refocus on his face and widen, ready to apologize for not paying attention.

He doesn’t actually get around to saying anything, ‘cause he catches on how Hyungwon’s looking at him with an intense gaze, and in the next second the taller steps forward to cup his face and seal their lips together. Hoseok kisses back right away, and he melts inside, lacing his arms around his waist and lifting him up to twirl around like an idiot as they kiss. He smiles into the kiss, and then when they part, he feels himself exploding like fireworks inside at how Hyungwon laughs and blushes.

He’s in love.

He can’t go to Seoul now. Kihyun and Minhyuk forgive him.

 

ii. 

 

 

 

> _To each their own misunderstanding_
> 
> _What’s so fun about teasing me?_

 

“Give me a physics lesson.” Naomi says, staring at the ceiling as she’s lying on the couch with her feet on Minhyuk’s lap.

“You shouldn’t say that in the same tone of ‘talk dirty to me’, it makes me judge you so much.” The older says with a grimace. “Why do you want me to teach you physics? I graduated in Management.”

“I meant.” She starts with a sigh. “How doesn’t Hyunwoo break Kihyun in half?”

“Because, unlike _some people,_ Hyunwoo’s gentle with him.” Minhyuk stresses.

“Hyunwoo doesn’t have it in him to be rough. He’s a sub.”

“Naomi…”

“He probably likes it when Kihyun pulls his hair or something.”

“Don’t give me that mental image, what the hell?” He makes a face.

“They probably look hot together. I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

“Kihyun’s like my brother.” The blond male deadpans. “And Hyunwoo’s like my brother-in-law, therefore I’d rather die than picture that.”

“You know who’d look hotter though?” She asks lightly.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“You and Hyunwoo together.”

There’s a silence.

“I’m calling the police on you, Naomi.” He threatens.

“Oh, come _on.”_

“Why in heaven’s name would you picture your boyfriend and his best friend’s boyfriend together?”

She rolls her eyes. “Because I find both of you hot?”

“But not Kihyun?”

“Kihyun’s hot, but he’s not my type. I wouldn’t have sex with him.” Naomi explains. “We’d kill each other trying to get the upper hand.”

She waits for Minhyuk to reply, but it doesn’t come, so she looks his way and realizes he’s typing something onto his phone.

“What are you doing?” She asks, and he looks at her like a deer caught in the headlights. “Are you texting Kihyun what I said?”

“No.” He laughs. “I’m texting Kihyun and Hoseok.”

She jumps to grab the phone. “Minhyuk, what the fuck?!”

“Everyone needs to know the kind of pervert you are!” He says, standing up so her short ass won’t be able to grab the phone from his hands.

“Give me that!” Naomi tries jumping and grabbing his arm, but Minhyuk is a head taller than her, and winning this fight. “Minhyuk, I’m serious!”

“Call me oppa and I’ll delete it.” He smirks.

Naomi squints her eyes. “I’d rather die.” She says.

“Too bad. Maybe you will, from embarrassment.” He smiles evilly, and the phone buzzes seconds after, as if agreeing. “Oh, look! Kihyun replied.” He scrolls down. “Aaaaand, he’s pissed.” He giggles.

“Oh my god.” She groans. “I fucking hate you.”

“He’s judging you so hard.” The blond make laughs. “I’m loving this.”

“I’m so gonna break up with you after this.”

“Kihyun’s saying he wants to burn his eyes off because of the mental image you gave him.”

“You can stop now, Minhyuk.”

“Oh, Hoseok replied!” He hums. “He’s saying he’s gonna join Kihyun in the eye burning party.”

“Enough!”

At the outburst, he looks down at her with a serious expression, his eyebrows slightly raised in that way that gives him an air of arrogance, and that Naomi finds so _hot._ Some people shouldn’t be allowed to be this good looking.

Fuck this bitch for making her feel things.

“Don’t look at me with your rich bitch face when I’m mad at you.” She says with a scold.

He leans down and picks her up bridal style with a smirk on his face.

“Put me the fuck down.” She demands.

“Nah.” He smiles wide, and starts spinning around.

“Minhyuk!”

 

iii.

 

 

 

> _I can’t even imagine you_
> 
> _Being with someone else_

 

Changkyun cleans the counter without much excitement, just making sure there aren’t crumbles or grease once he’s done, otherwise he’s sure one of his bosses is gonna scold him about his half-assed job. He sighs once he’s done and realizes there’s nothing else he can do to distract himself.

“What are you sulking about over there?” Asks one of his bosses, walking up to him and glancing at him curiously as he examines the counter to make sure Changkyun’s done a good job. “If you keep that up Kihyun’s gonna start fussing. You know how worried he gets when we’re blue.”

“I don’t wanna be blue.” Changkyun says quietly, watching as his other boss puts down the drinks and pastries on a table for the customers to enjoy.

“Then do something about whatever’s making you feel like this.” Minhyuk says. “Go out on a date, kid, you’re young.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” The raven haired male huffs.

“Boy, you’re handsome. It _is_ easy. Just go out and find someone to make out with, have fun, dance with strangers. Difficult is Kihyunie and his roommate finding a way stop being awkward.” He says, taking the cloth the younger had been using to wipe the counter from his hands. “Go, you can leave early today. I’ll talk to Kihyun.” Minhyuk adds. “Take Jooheon with you.”

The younger doesn’t feel like explaining maybe that’s not a good idea if he’s planning on going out to have fun, not a mental breakdown, so he simply nods and walks into the kitchen to get his things in the back room.

He walks out of the Café and to the train station like he’s a zombie, practically dragging himself and groaning on the way when the stomps his foot on the sidewalk.

Then his phone rings.

“Yeah?” He picks up.

 _“Kyunie!”_ The other voice answers, and it’s Jooheon. Of course it is, who else would call Changkyun at this hour? _“Minhyuk-hyung told me you’re off already.”_

“I am.” He says curtly. Jooheon would know that if he’d gone to the Coffee Shop like he used to do all the time before… “What’s up?”

 _“Me and Gunhee are going out to this club. Wanna come?”_ The older male says brightly, and Changkyun doesn’t have the heart to act bitter at him.

“Sure.” He says. “What time?”

And so, he goes home and gets ready, making a point of looking amazing. He might be suffering of an aching heart, but he’s too proud to let himself look anything short of perfect. Especially if Gunhee’s gonna be there. And once he’s done he waits for Jooheon to message him to let him know both he and Gunhee are there to pick him up.

“Hey.” He greets as he enters the car.

“Yo, what’s up Changkyun-ssi?” Gunhee greets him with a smile, and Changkyun smiles back from the back seat.

“I’m good.”

“Hey, bro.” Jooheon turns on the front seat and offers his fist, which Changkyun bumps with his own.

“Looking good.” Gunhee winks at the raven haired male, before turning back forward and stepping on the gas. Jooheon stares at the driver for a whole second before turning back to Changkyun.

“Why d’you leave early?” He asks.

“Minhyuk-hyung said I should take the rest of the day off and go out.”

“By rest of the day you mean evening, I presume.” Jooheon snorts.

Changkyun shrugs emotionlessly, and his best friend’s smile falters. “I guess.”

Jooheon looks at him in silence, then turns and stares forward at the street.

They arrive at the club, and Jooheon puts his arm around his shoulders as they enter, and Changkyun looks around emotionless, wondering what the hell he’s doing here. They head to the bar, and Gunhee gets each of them beers, with an exception of himself since he’s the one driving. Changkyun gulps half of it down, not in the mood to sip it like he’s got nothing better to do. Not that he _does._

Then he spots someone he knows, and ignore Jooheon and Gunhee chatting with each other next to him, and walks up to the person.

“Wonwoo!” He greets, smiling with relief.

The other male turns to him, looking down at Changkyun from where he stands tall. “Changkyun!” He smiles. “What’s up?”

“Just hanging out with some friends.” He answers. “They’re right by the bar. Remember Jooheon?”

“Yeah! Seungcheol’s friend.” The taller nods. “Sorry, do you know Soonyoung?” He motions to the also black haired male next to him, shorter then Wonwoo and still a bit taller than Changkyun, with pretty upturned eyes, almost two slits, and also a pretty smile.

“I don’t.” He answers. “Hi, I’m Im Changkyun.” He introduces himself.

“Kwon Soonyoung.” He smiles, shaking Changkyun’s hand.

“We know each other from college.” Wonwoo explains.

“Oh!” Changkyun exclaims, smiling. “That’s cool! What do you do?”

“I’m a dance major.” Soonyoung says.

“You should see him go. It’s amazing.” The tallest of the three comments.

“I’d love to, someday.” The oldest of the three smiles. Soonyoung raises an eyebrow, still smiling.

“Why not now?” He asks.

Changkyun parts his lips, ready to say he should go back to his friends, but then he glances back and realizes Jooheon and Gunhee — with the addition of Jackson, who must’ve just arrived — are happily chatting and drinking together. Changkyun’s younger, he shouldn’t be there, but here with friends his age. And besides, Minhyuk had told him _dance with strangers._ And even if Soonyoung isn’t exactly a stranger, he can just do that.

“Sure.” He smiles, and offers a hand. Wonwoo raises an eyebrow. “You’ll have to forgive me, though, unless it’s girlgroup songs, I’ve got two left feet.”

The other male takes his hand, and he steps closer with a smirk. “Let’s hope they play Red Velvet then.”

They actually do.

Surprisingly, in addition to the western songs playing, many remixes of Red Velvet, Kara, Sistar, and some more, play freely, and Changkyun’s having a lot of fun. It even makes him forget why he was feeling blue before. He accepts Soonyoung’s advances, and lets the younger puts his arms around his neck and they dance, doing the same to his waist.

But that’s about as far as they go. Soonyoung doesn’t try kissing him, or anything of the sort. And when Changkyun asks why, the answer is pretty surprising.

“I’ve seen you stealing glances at your friend.” Soonyoung tells him. “I know when I’m not wanted. But don’t worry, I’m not offended.” He explains.

“I’m sorry anyways.” The older says, lips brushing against Soonyoung’s earlobe.

Then another voice speaks up, shouting so it’ll be heard over the music. “Changkyun?”

Both he and Soonyoung detach from each other and glance at the source of the voice, which turns out to be Jooheon, small eyes squinting and making him look even scarier than he usually does, even if he’s a goofball on the inside.

“Hyung, hey!” The ravenette greets.

“We’re going.” Jooheon says, almost sneering, and Changkyun’s about to ask if something’s wrong when Gunhee shows up.

“Hey!” He smiles bright, pulling Jooheon back, and the ravenette has never been this glad to see him. Gunhee eyes both he and Soonyoung still standing close, and wiggles his eyebrows. “Forgive him, he’s drunk out of his mind.” He chuckles. “But we actually are going. So are you coming home with us or…?” He trails off, insinuating Changkyun might be going home with Soonyoung.

“He’s going with you.” Soonyoung smiles. “He’s tired, and we’re not like that.” He pushes Changkyun towards them lightly.

“I see.” Gunhee hums.

“Thank you for tonight, Soonyoung. I had fun.” Changkyun smiles bright.

“Sure! I’ll text you.”

“Wonwoo has my number.” The ravenette adds. “Bye, have a good night!” He waves.

“You too!”

The younger then follows Gunhee and a drunk Jooheon out, wondering if he did spend hours dancing with Soonyoung without even noticing. “Was I out for too long?” He asks.

“A bit. You looked like you were having the time of your life, though. I wouldn’t blame you for not noticing.” Gunhee says.

“Having too much fun dancing with a guy you’ve just met.” Jooheon mumbles, and Gunhee hits the back of his head.

“Jooheon-ah started drinking like crazy. He’s gonna get a hangover tomorrow for sure.” He clicks his tongue.

Gunhee pushes Jooheon onto the backseat, and tells Changkyun he can be his co-pilot since he’s not pissed.

On their way, Jooheon falls asleep on the back seat, and Changkyun watches as he snores from the rear view mirror.

“Can you take him home tonight?” Gunhee asks, and the younger looks up, surprised. “I’ll help you get him up, but he can’t be alone tonight, and I’d stay if I could.”

“I live in the dorms, though.”

“Stay at his place. He’s in no place to complain since you’re gonna be there to take care of him.” The older shrugs. “He’s an idiot.”

Changkyun snorts. “He sure is.”

This is nice. He and Gunhee aren’t close, but thankfully the small talk doesn’t feel awkward or forced.

Eventually, they both drag a half asleep and whiny Lee Jooheon out of the car and into a lift, so they can get him to his place. Changkyun has to stick his hand down his back pocket to get his keys, and almost loses his hand in the process. They throw Jooheon onto his bed, and Gunhee announces he has to go, and tells Changkyun to call if things get out of control.

The younger knows it won’t be necessary though. Even if he’s become tense around him in the last few days, Jooheon’s still his best friend, and he knows him as well as he knows himself. He can easily take care of the older when he’s drunk, just like he has before.

“Let’s take these clothes off so you can sleep, dumbass.” He says, trying to pull off Jooheon’s jacket.

“No.” The older insists, rolling away.

“Jooheon!”

“Stay away from me you traitor.”

Changkyun frowns.

“What?” He laughs. “I didn’t betray you.”

“Liar liar pants on fire!” Jooheon shouts. “Don’t touch me!”

The ravenette stands there, defeated, staring at his best friend as he stares back with his eyes narrowed.

Jooheon’s heart beats fast as he looks at Changkyun. Wearing a overly stressed denim jacket over a black and white flannel shirt and a dark grey shirt. He’s got skinny jeans on and black boots, and he looks beautiful, and like the embodiment of everything he’s ever desired. And he can’t even take it, because he’s not his.

“Honey. I’m your best friend.” The younger sighs, throwing himself on the bed next to Jooheon, who groans in complaint. “What’s wrong?”

The brunette turns to the other side and mumbles nothings.

Changkyun rolls his eyes, and lies on his back facing the ceiling.

“Why are you making this so hard for me?” He asks.

Jooheon snorts. “Sorry you have to look after my drunk ass.”

The younger shakes his head softly. “That’s not what I’m talking about.” He whispers.

Tensing up, the other man turns back around and faces his friend, and delivers the line. “Who was the guy you were dancing with?”

“Wonwoo’s friend. His name was Soonyoung.” Changkyun replies, still on his back.

Jooheon then moves closer, and in his drunken state, is bold. He gets half on top of Changkyun and stares at him with a pout, ignoring how the younger is staring back with wide eyes. “Why did you dance with him?”

Changkyun coughs. “Because he asked if I wanted to dance.” He says simply.

“Why didn’t you dance with me?”

The younger frowns.

“You didn’t seem to need me, having your fun with your friends.” He says. “If you wanted to dance with me why didn’t you ask?”

Jooheon doesn’t reply, but he throws his head right beside Changkyun’s, his face against his shoulder, groaning for no reason as he’s got no answer for the question.

They stay unmoving, and for a moment the ravenette thinks Jooheon’s fallen asleep. Then about a couple minutes after, the older speaks up.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“What are you sorry for?” The younger frowns.

“For not asking you to dance with me. For being drunk.” He mumbles, then he pulls back and goes back to the previous position, looking Changkyun in the eyes. And even in his ridiculously drunk state, Jooheon’s still beautiful. “For making you feel like I don’t need you.”

“I didn’t-”

“I need you all the time Changkyun-ah.” He says. “I love you.”

The younger blushes. “Okay, no need to be like that. I know you love me bro. I love you too.”

“No. Don’t ‘bro’ me. Don’t even ‘no homo’ me. I’m being gay. I gay love you.”

The younger frowns, and wonders what the hell Jooheon had to drink. This _has_ to be Jackson’s fault.

“You… _gay_ love me?” He asks slowly.

Jooheon sits up, annoyed. “Yes!”

Changkyun also sits up, trying to ignore how his stomach feels weird at the sudden confession. “Hyung, you should get some water.”

“No!” The older whines, and he pushes Changkyun back down, staying seated as he starts his drunk gay speech. “I love you, stupid! I like… I wanna hold your hand and I want to cuddle you and I want to sleep with you and I want to be the person you dance with at he clubs without having to be asked because that’s what boyfriends do!”

Changkyun sits back up.

“Boyfriends?”

Jooheon hits him with a pillow.

“Are you _that_ dense? What else do I have to say to make you understand? Do I have to pull my hard dick out to-”

“Okay! I get it! Shut up before you scar me for life!” The younger throws the pillow back at him. “I get it.” He says, now a lot calmer.

Jooheon stares at him, angry. “Great.” He says. “Remind me that this happened in the morning ‘cause I won’t be remembering _shit.”_ He snorts, as if it’s the funniest thing in the world. “Do you have any classes in the morning?”

Changkyun shakes his head. “I don’t.”

“Okay.” Jooheon then says. “You’re gonna take care of hangover me as well.”

The younger chuckles. “Okay.” He nods.

Then there’s a small silence in which Jooheon’s discarding his jacket, socks and pants. He stands there in his shirt and boxers. “Wait.” He starts, slowly. “Do you like me as well?”

The younger then starts laughing. “You’re _so_ drunk.” He jokes. “I can’t confess anything to you when you’re drunk. You’re not gonna remember.”

The older then smirks, and Changkyun’s confused. “Wanna know a secret?” He asks. “I’m not actually drunk. I’ve been pretending.”

Changkyun hits him with a pillow again. “Shut up! You can’t even stand properly.”

Jooheon rolls his eyes and gets off the bed, then proceeds to walk in a straight line, then make a number four with his legs, staring at the ravenette with an ‘I told you so’ face.

“You bitch.” Changkyun accuses. “Why?”

“I wanted an excuse to have you stay at mine.” He shrugs, and climbs on the bed.

“Was Gunhee-hyung in it too?” Asks the younger, and he receives a nod. “I’m so stupid.” He groans.

“You can confess now.” Jokes the brunette, lying next to Changkyun, and pulling the younger to face him.

Changkyun blushes, and hides his face in his hands, and Jooheon chuckles. A rare moment in which his best friend is being shy around him. “Okay. I’ll be your boyfriend.” He says, face in his hands.

“That’s your confession?” Jooheon asks, teasing.

The younger then raises his head, and with a determined look on his face — which also looks pissed off at Jooheon’s teasing — pulls his best friend in and mashes their lips together.

They kiss, and it deepens and becomes playful, sensual, uncaring, and everything it should have been in the past years. The older pulls one of Changkyun’s skinny legs and wraps it around his waist, both of them still on their sides, and holds him against his own slightly more muscular body. Changkyun’s hands have lost themselves in Jooheon’s hair, and he kisses him like he’s the air he needs to breathe.

Once they actually _need_ to breathe, they pull away just a bit, noses brushing, and lie there, holding each other.

“I hate you.” Changkyun whispers.”

Jooheon chuckles. “Will you hate me as your boyfriend, though?” He asks.

The younger rolls his eyes. “Yes.”

 

iv.

 

 

 

> _Let’s get closer_
> 
> _Let’s fill this gap between us_

 

He’s just finished rearranging the small decorative flags on the shelves, and begins to turn around, only to walk into someone.

“Oh, sorry, Hyung.” Mingyu apologizes, smiling, his sharp little teeth peeking out.

“No problem, Mingyu-yah.” Joshua chuckles. “I should’ve looked where I was going he waves his hand.

“No, it’s my fault, really. I walked up behind you really silently.” The younger insists, following Joshua around as he makes sure everything is well aligned. Doesn’t this kid have work to do?

“Do you need anything?” The older asks, looking up at the young man towering over him. The brunette chuckles awkwardly.

“I’m sorry if this is out of the blue,” He starts, making a face that indicates whatever he’s about to say is really cringey. “But I really like you, and I would like to know if you want to go out for some coffee with me, one of these days.”

Joshua looks up at him, unmoving, not saying anything, and Mingyu starts to panic, but then the older chuckles softly, and nods. “I know just the place.” He smiles.

Mingyu perks up, like a puppy. “Is that a yes?!”

Joshua nods, and the younger celebrates quietly, pumping his fist in the air, almost punching a lightbulb. “Careful.” The older warns with humor.

“Minghao is not gonna believe this.” The taller cheers to himself. “Hyung, I’ll call you, or we can decide later, or maybe even now! Oh, wait, we’ve got customers. I’ll be right back!” Mingyu says it all at lightning speed before walking off to greet the newcomers, and Joshua is left to deal with himself and the little tiger figurines.

Jeonghan is never gonna let him live this down now.

 

v.

 

 

 

> _Why are you talking about Shownu?_
> 
> _Making me jealous_

 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Kihyun mutters as he tries to cut into the crowd to get to the carriage. The subway is specially full today, which always seem to happen whenever he’s in a rush. Of course a rational part of his brain knows that’s because it’s always like that , but he feels satisfied with the idea the world is always against him. Makes him feel like it’s never his fault.

The subway trip is not as fast as he’d like it to be. The day he gets off from work late, people decide it’s a good idea to walk half the speed a normal person would, and stop walking suddenly, leading to him almost bumping into them. Sometimes — most of the time — people can be annoying as hell. All he wants to do is go home and whine about being tired to Hyunwoo. Is that asking too much?

Their routine hasn’t changed much since they started dating. They still work the same hours, but they always go home together when they can. Sometimes one or the other leaves late, and if the other person feels like waiting, they stand around in the café/book shop until it’s time to head out.

Relationship wise, they act like they’ve been together for years sometimes, and other times the honeymoon phase act is out there for everyone to see. They usually sleep on Kihyun’s bed, and they try to keep their hands off each other, but it doesn’t work. The amount of times they were late to work because of morning rendezvous is out of control.

Since they started dating, any tension between them had dissipated. They jumped over the ‘getting to know each other’ phase since that had obviously been unnecessary. The dynamics had remained almost the same. They still alternated on who was going to make food or wash the dishes, but usually one of them trailed behind the other as they did their chores, and they’d always take longer to get stuff done since both kept interrupting themselves to steal kisses.

The progression in their private business also goes well. Kihyun’s always understanding when Hyunwoo’s unsure of what to do or act, since he knows he’s the first man the older’s ever been with, and the ravenette guides the shorter on relationship stuff, like how it’s okay for him to do certain stuff, how he doesn’t have to worry about making the other mad or thrown off.

The first time Hyunwoo bottoms isn’t exactly planned.

It wasn’t a completely foreign topic. They’d discussed it before, Kihyun always making clear that there was no rush and he could wait for the older to be ready, no matter how long it took, if ever. And Hyunwoo making sure to let Kihyun know he does want to try it, but not knowing when. They’d discussed, Kihyun had explained how to use a douche or clean himself without one if he didn’t want to, and he’s explained how it felt, that it could hurt and that it was okay to bail out if he was too scared.

Then, out of the blue one day, when Kihyun had gotten back from Hoseok’s place, Hyunwoo had been waiting for him, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at his bedroom door hesitantly. The brunette had noticed right away that something was up. He’d walked over to him and asked softly if he was okay, and Hyunwoo had looked up at him with shiny eyes and stared for a bit before he’d said in a very small voice that he wanted Kihyun to top him.

The younger didn’t need him to repeat himself.

He’d kissed Hyunwoo so deeply and yet so softly and coached him on how to relax and to just trust him, and lie back and enjoy, that he didn’t have to worry on what he needed to do, just follow instructions. He prepped him carefully and slowly and always intently watching Hyunwoo’s reaction, smiling softly at how deeply the older had been blushing. Then he lubed himself up and took the older’s hips with his small hands, reassuringly. He’d been caring and loving and he’d shooed the older when he winced in pain, kissing his chest and stomach and whispering sweet praises to him, until he was ready for Kihyun to move.

And once he was, whatever happened next became a blur. Hyunwoo couldn’t believe how genuinely good he felt, how loved by the younger he felt without having to worry about putting up a mainly facade, not that he ever did around the brunette. They had moaned and held onto each other and Kihyun had pushed himself to make the older come first, to which he succeeded.

They cuddled for the rest of the day, and the older had been ridiculously overwhelmed with how much he loved and trusted the younger, and how he could feel it was returned. Kihyun had cuddled up to him and thanked him for trusting him. Since then it wasn’t uncommon for the older to bottom here and there.

Kihyun really just wants to get to Hyunwoo as soon as he can. He’s exhausted.

He finally gets to his building, and he sighs heavily as his back meets the elevator’s mirrored wall. Then he gets a text, and by the buzzing pattern it’s from his group chat with Hoseok and Minhyuk. And he opens expecting the worse, which at this point is not even enough for what he’s just read.

He opens the front door as if it had offended his family, and closes it roughly. Kihyun makes the most noise he can as he takes off his coat and shoes, but all he gets from Hyunwoo is a ‘welcome home’. He wants a reaction, and one he’ll get.

Hyunwoo’s lying on his bed, his laptop on his lap, when he hears the loud banging of cupboards being opened and closed and pots and pans banging against each other. He frowns, and puts his laptop on the bed, walking out of the room. “Babe? What are you looking for?” He calls.

Kihyun’s voice comes along with the banging. “Nothing, I’m just making a lot of noise because I’m angry!” His voice escalates by the end, and he keeps hitting random kitchen tools and gets a wooden spoon to hit a pan.

This can’t be a good sign.

“Why are you mad?” He asks gently.

“Naomi said you and Minhyuk would look good together!” He says harshly, closing a cupboard particularly hard, and the older can almost feel it’s pain.

So Hyunwoo walks up to the younger and tries to hold him back without getting hit by a frying pan, and he succeeds, eventually, his arms around Kihyun, pinning his arms to his torso, and his head over his shoulder so he can see his face. “What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Haven’t you heard me?” He asks with a pout in his voice.

“I did, it’s disgusting. But why are you angry?” The ravenette talks to the younger softly, as if trying to calm a furious lion.

Kihyun doesn’t reply. Hyunwoo raises an eyebrow.

“Are you jealous?”

The brunette is once again silent, and turns his head the other way so his boyfriend won’t be able to see his face.

Though Hyunwoo only chuckles at his behaviour, and kisses the side of his neck before taking his hand up and gently turning Kihyun’s face towards his. “You’re jealous.” He states with a smile. “Of Minhyuk, of all people. Your only straight friend.”

“You were straight.” The shorter mutters.

“Minhyuk has a girlfriend.”

“Who supports the idea.”

“Kihyun.” Hyunwoo laughs. “You can’t be serious.”

“It’s not fair! You’re mine.” He whines, not even trying not to sound like a kid throwing a tantrum, and it makes the older smile wide. “I finally get a boyfriend and they want to take you from me! You’re _mine!”_

“In any other situation I’d find this possessiveness worrying, but this is purely cute.” The older says, nosing the arch of the brunette’s ear, and Kihyun shudders. “No one’s gonna take me from you, jagiya.”

“How am I supposed to know that?!” He asks.

“I _know_ no one can make me look at anyone else other than you. I’m whipped like that.” He confesses, not at all trying _not_ to sound cringey, so Kihyun cringes.

“She thinks you both would look better together than us.” He says quietly.

Hyunwoo sighs again, and he turns Kihyun gently around so they’re facing each other. “I’m your boyfriend. And you’re mine. And we love each other.” He says slowly. “What other people think doesn’t matter. I don’t care about anyone else, Kihyun. I think we look great together.”

“Do you?”

The ravenette rolls his eyes. “Of course I do, Kihyun-ah.” He smiles. “You compliment me.” He whispers, bumping his forehead against Kihyun’s.

“I do?” The younger asks with a smile in his voice, now just fishing for compliments.

“Yeah. You’re beautiful, so you balance the ugly me.”

Kihyun pulls back with a scowl, looking the older in the eyes. “Could you not? That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

The older’s cheeks grow pink, and he hides his face against the shorter’s neck. “You’re pretty.” He whispers.

“My boyfriend’s also pretty.” He says like he’s thinking out loud.

“All you can talk about is that boyfriend of yours. Give some of that attention to me.” Hyunwoo mumbles against his skin, causing Kihyun to laugh.

“You know what’s funny, though?” The younger asks, and the other male hums against his neck. “You keep saying I’m beautiful, but you can barely see me.” He says with a smirk. “Where are your glasses, hyung?”

The older male pulls back slowly. “I don’t know.” He confesses. “I lost them.”

“What? When?!”

“I was wearing them just this morning.” He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

The brunette sighs, and pecks the older’s lips, lingering as he pulls away. “Let’s get the spare ones I have.” He smiles softly, and tugs on the taller’s hand to guide him along to his bedroom.

They never get to the bedroom, though, because Kihyun spots a moth on the doorframe, and he jumps and clings onto Hyunwoo like a koala. The older holds him automatically, not planning to let him fall. “Are you okay?” He asks, squinting.

The brunette has his face hidden in the crook of his neck, and Hyunwoo can’t see anything without his glasses, so then the younger male shakes his head, he walks away slowly, back to the living room. “There’s a moth on the doorframe.” He says quietly, clutching onto the older.

The ravenette chuckles. “Oh.” He smiles. “Wait, hold onto me.” He mutters, and before Kihyun can even react he surges forward and carries the younger male into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. The shorter clutches onto him as if his life depends on it, not letting go even when they’re in the safety of his own room. “Jagiya, we’re safe.” He chuckles yet again. Trust Kihyun to make Hyunwoo turn into a pile of goo. “Baby, you can come down.”

“As if you actually cared.” Kihyun mutters. He lifts his head and looks at the older. “Do I even weight anything to you?”

With a smile, the older male spins him around playfully. “Nope.” His smile widens and his eyes disappear. “It’s like holding a couple of grapes.”

“Maybe I should dye my hair purple.” The younger kisses him on the cheek, and lets himself be put down. He goes for his wardrobe and takes out a case with Hyunwoo’s spare glasses inside, and puts them on the older. “There, all cute nerdy porn dude again.” He giggles.

“Cute nerdy porn dude?”

“You’re built and pretty and you’re wearing glasses. You’re a porn nerd. A hunky one.” He snickers.

“I’m not familiar with gay porn.” The older laughs sheepishly, cheeks tinted pink. “What would you be, then?”

At that, Kihyun turns around and looks at the older over his shoulder, and wriggles his butt. “I’m a twink.”

“That one I’ve heard before.” Hyunwoo slaps his butt lightly, and Kihyun laughs. “Come on out.” He motions towards the door.

“You want me to come out while that killer machine is waiting out there to chew off my face? Nuh-uh.”

The ravenette rolls his eyes and opens his arms, and the younger jumps on him with a shit eating grin. “My hero.” He whispers.

“Oh, shut up.”

They walk out, and the older drops the brunette unceremoniously onto the the couch, then gets a plastic bag so he can dispose of the moth without actually killing it. He sets it free out of the window, and drops on top of the younger once he’s done.

“Thank you my super straight manly roommate.” Giggles the shorter.

Hyunwoo hums appreciatively as the younger plays with his hair, his face on his chest.

“I’m grateful, you know?” Kihyun starts. “I’m grateful I’m so dumb.”

“You’re not dumb.” The older says.

“No. I am.” He giggles. “But that’s okay, ‘cause otherwise I might have never gotten this.”

“By ‘this’ you mean _us?”_ Hyunwoo asks softly, hand running up and down Kihyun’s slim waist.

“Would a smart person had asked their almost stranger of a roommate to fake date them?” He mocks as he says it, laughing afterwards. “I don’t think so.”

“I was so weirded out.” The older breathes, a smile on his lips. “But I’ve felt like I was in debt since that scare I gave you last year.” He explains. “And also you looked so desperate I felt the urge to help.”

“Don’t remind me of that night. I still have nightmares.”

“Kihyun… Don’t be silly.”

“It was a traumatic experience.” He mumbles. “Let me do the same thing to you so we can see if you’re not gonna freak out as well.”

“That’s not fair! We knew each other for a month back then. And now we’re dating. Clearly we care about each other a lot more than we did back then.”

The younger hums. “Okay.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, and Kihyun pets the older’s hair thoughtfully, humming to himself as he does.

“You said you’re not familiar with gay porn.” He starts, and Hyunwoo starts laughing. “Do you watch straight porn then?”

“Sometimes.” He says. “Most of the time I just go after you.”

The younger giggles. “Do you miss it?” He asks. “Sex with women, I mean.”

The older stays silent, and Kihyun can almost feel how hard he’s thinking about it. “I guess… Sometimes.” He confesses. “But it’s more of an attraction thing. Also I’m used to it. I don’t think I could want to fuck any other guy, for example. And I also don’t feel like having sex with anyone else, men or women.”

“Do you picture yourself with women when you watch it?”

“I do.” He chuckles. “But you’re always there.”

Kihyun perks up at that. “You picture me there?”

“I think you underestimate how attracted I am to you.” He says. “You turn me on a lot, and just picturing me and some random girl doesn’t get me off anymore.”

It’s Kihyun’s turn not to respond right away. “Do you wanna try it?”

“No.” The answer comes right away, and Kihyun feels bad that the older can feel how fast his heart’s beating. “I like having all my attention on you. Don’t want anyone else.”

The younger squeezes his sides with his thighs. “Good.” He mutters. “I want you all to myself. I don’t care that’s selfish.”

“It’s not like I’m keen on sharing you either.”

“Why would anyone want you and your pillow princess’ ways?” The younger mumbles.

Hyunwoo pinches his side. “I’m not a pillow princess!”

“Whenever you bottom you just lie there moaning.” Kihyun argues. “And our first time? What did you even do?”

“You told me to relax!”

“Relax, not play dead."

“Why are you being mean? Do you want me not to moan when you fuck me, then? Should I start moving around?” The older asks with a scowl, and Kihyun laughs loud and obnoxious, Hyunwoo’s head on top of his chest bouncing up and down. “I hate you.”

The younger plays with one of his earrings, which the ravenette hasn’t taken out since christmas two months ago when he got them. “I’m just teasing. I like that this big beefy guy is such a pillow princess.”

“Bossy.”

“Yeah.”

Hyunwoo snorts.

“My mom called earlier.” He brings up, and the brunette glances at him curiously. “She wants to know if we can come over tomorrow to have dinner.”

“Your mom wants to fatten me up.” The younger sighs.

“She probably does. She thinks you’re too skinny.” He chuckles. “You’d look so cute chubby.”

“You say that now.”

“I’ve seen pictures of you when you were chubby.” Hyunwoo hums. “You’ve always been beautiful.”

Kihyun blushes. “Stop.” He scolds with a smile he can’t fight.

“I’m not lying.” The older insists. “You can gain as much weight as you want, there’s just gonna be more of you for me to love.”

Kihyun groans and throws his head back, feeling secondhand embarrassment. “Stop!”

“No.” The older teases, moving up so his face is on Kihyun’s level. “You’re so pretty you know?” He says with a shit eating grin, following Kihyun as he tries to move his head not to look at him. “Absolutely beautiful, you’re so cute and precious and I love you so much.” He laughs when the younger unsuccessfully tries to push him off to get away. “Why are you rejecting my love?” He questions with a smile on his voice.

“Because it’s disgusting and it’s making me wanna call the police!” The younger says, his voice strangled as if he’s trying to breathe properly after being underwater.

“Such hurtful words.” He jokes.

Kihyun stops struggling and glares at his boyfriend. “You’re positively disgusting.”

“It requires talent.” The older mumbles with a chuckle. “How was work today?”

“Boring. Changkyun was quiet today ‘cause he thinks he’s getting a cold and it was both me and him in silence doing stuff and I’ve never missed Minhyuk’s noisy ass that much.” He sighs. “I’m tired.”

The older hums. “I take you’re too tired to have something to eat and then take a nice hot shower and fool around before bed?” He asks mischievously.

“Are you gonna join me in the shower?” Kihyun asks, clearly interested.

“Of course. It’s a lot easier to have you soap my back than trying to do it myself.”

The brunette snorts. “You’re too broad and muscular for your own good.” He chuckles.

“Let’s go.” The older nudges him, picking himself up and then Kihyun right after. “I’ll make us dinner, and then we shower and I’ll give you special treatment in bed.”

“Is that a code for you eating my ass ‘till I cry? Because if yes then I’m totally up for it.”

“If that’s what you want.” Hyunwoo chuckles. “We’ll see.”

They make food together, and the older moves to hold Kihyun from behind when his eyes start drooping, lulling him, side to side, singing softly in his ear.

“What are you doing?” Kihyun asks with a soft chuckle.

 _“I wanna wanna go back to you tonight,”_ He sings. _“Like breathing, I can’t hold back the memories.”_

The younger raises an eyebrow. “Are you-”

 _“It becomes rising smoke, covering my eyes, making me sway.”_ He keeps going.

Kihyun chuckles. “So gay.” He jokes.

Hyunwoo shakes his head. “I’m all gay for you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a long one lmao  
> Y'all ready? 'Cause now is when I finally cry.
> 
> First of all, thank you all so much, for all the support. I wasn't expecting this to get as big as it got. I love you guys, and I cherished every moment. Don't forget you can always ask me stuff about this fic, either on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) and I'll always reply, doesn't matter if it's finished, I still love this story, no matter how long has passed. This is the first ever long chaptered story I've finished, and I'm proud of myself. I really am.
> 
> I'm gonna make some honorable mentions to the people that meant a lot to me on the course of writing this fic. I'm sorry I can't mention all of you. I adore you all, please believe me when I say that.
> 
>  **Wilgs:** Bitch. Even if you only read this story because I make you, you're the reason I ever started stanning Monsta X, and why I ever started shipping showki, jookyun, 2won, etc, so I owe you a lot. Thank you  
>  **Naomi:** Oh my god. We've been through so much. Some days I thought I'd have to kill you, others I wondered what I'd do without you. I'm grateful my fics brought you to me, even if sometimes you make me crazy. Thank you so much for everything. You mean a lot more to me than I can express here.  
>  **Fatima:** Girl... You hyped me up a lot when I needed, and your energy and love for this story will always mean so much to me. Thank you dearest.  
>  **Yousra:** I'll never get over you saying this is your favorite story. I'll never get over you saying you'd actually read all my stories??? Thank you so much, it means a lot, it always will.  
>  **Val:** You're a piece. Once you actually get to this part, I hope you let me know. Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for giving my story love.  
>  **Kieran:** My baby, thank you for actually giving this a chance when you didn't have to, and for enjoying it and letting me know. I love you.  
>  **Bethany:** UGH you reading this had me so nervous at first. But it's been real. I adore you and I'm grateful you liked this as much as you did. Thank you for everything, Beta.  
>  **Jamie:** You, as well, my Jams, my girl, I admire you, you're such a talented writer and you giving my stories a chance and liking them will never actually get in my mind. Thank you for giving this dork a chance, and for being my friend ;w;  
>  **Bella:** I still remember the first comment you made in this story, and how I fangirled because I loved your stories asdfghjkl I'm sorry I'm embarrassing  
>  **Len:** You!!! Thank you for being supportive and reaching out to me on twitter. You were a big incentive, thank you  
>  **Lala:** My crazy little showki shipper, I adore you. Thank you so much for screaming in showki with me asdfghjkl thank you for always being supportive and receptive of the showki writers  
>  **Nea:** Cute Nea, thank you for the support and sweet words, I appreciate it all a lot  
>  **Trixy:** Thank you for being supportive and giving me feedback even when you were on hiatus??? You're a blessing  
>  **Eduarda:** You were around in 2013 when I wrote my first ever fanfic, a badly written frerard, and somehow life's brought you to me again, and in 2018 you still read what I write??? I don't have the words to thank you. But thank you anyways.  
>  **Mi:** Sweet, sweet Mi. Thank you for your support, the cute fangirling when we met. Thank you for the feedback and for being sweet.
> 
> And everyone else, thank you so much. Thank you for being part of this adventure, even if you got here closer to the end  
> I hope you guys stick around, there are still many more adventures to come
> 
> A todos vocês, obrigado.  
> -Mayuki
> 
> [This](https://docs.google.com/document/d/12UmKFfPR0QsC2HR3mN90nweHFUckhZMLeUKgTiUQpcs/edit?usp=sharing) is the doc I created and maintained through the whole fic. Enjoy.
> 
> EDIT (about 8 hours later): I forgot! The link to my next long chaptered fic's [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/ficsbywho/playlist/0lCvEBvs6TrGnwkL2mtYsD?si=pd0Vc-JaQq-l2JYEwForIA)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments! Not trying to sound demanding but knowing I'm not doing a shit job motivates me to write the next chapter faster.  
> This fic has a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/ficsbywho/playlist/6FWoesTQUjUFlIwGvYb5VS) btw. It's not a soundtrack or anything, just songs that remind me of the plot.  
> Also if you think my user is familiar and don't know why it might be because I'm the person who is writing the "[Lost guy somewhere](http://archiveofourown.org/series/726300)" series, which you should definetely check out :D  
> Yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/DoctorFatCat) if needed!  
> Also, can any of you guess where the title is from?


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